Haus of V
  • Home
  • 'Wright Here
  • Write Now
  • Right On
  • The V Spot
  • Celebrity Slap
  • Crack Wise
  • Contact

Fixer

5/6/2022

 
​Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
​

Picture

Offenders for the week ending May 6th, 2022:

via GIPHY

#3 DAN AKYROYD AND DONNA DIXON
I'm always amazed when couples-- especially Hollywood ones-- endure. But this one is no longer happily-ever-after. They're going to remain legally married, but live life separately. 

“After 39 years as a couple we are now on separate life paths. We remain legally married, co-parents, co-workers, and business partners. This is our choice in loving friendship.” 

I've got some questions: Very mature. But... who gets the house? And what about the money? Surely those things need worked out, don't they? Does this mean you'll live together, but as roommates?

The two met in 1983 while filming Doctor Detroit, and have three grown daughters together.

via GIPHY

#2 BILL GATES
Billy has admitted in an interview to having a wandering willy, kind of. He told the "Today" show that he "caused pain" to his ex, Melinda. But did he cheat?

“I certainly made mistakes, and I take responsibility. I don’t think delving into the particulars at this point is constructive, but yes, I caused pain, and I feel terrible about that."

Let us read between the sheets. Ding, ding, ding! Yes. You cheated.

Gates has been known historically as a manho-- even before his money. 

Gross. How can a man who started a company with the name "soft" in it have anything hard? Except his wallet. Which must be the attraction?

​Maybe his philanthropy is more like feelanthrophy. 

via GIPHY

#1 JUSTIN BIEBER
This just in: getting married doesn't magically make you a better person. Because that's what Justin thought would happen when he married Hailey Baldwin.

“It’s a journey. I remember when I first got married, I hit a little bit of an emotional breakdown because I thought marriage was going to fix all my problems and it didn’t."

Duh!

And if you're thinking about having a baby because it will bring you closer if your marriage is rocky-- no. 

Just take each day at a time. Be good to each other. And don't be a toolbag. Try really hard.

Humblebraggart

4/24/2020

 
Offenders for the week ending April 24, 2020:

via GIPHY

#3 KRISTEN DOUTE, Castmember, Vanderpump Rules
She might be one of the biggest, hottest messes in all of reality TV. The chick who got fired from her server job at SUR. The chick who attracts volatile, lopsided relationships like flies to a pile crap. The chick who banged her best friend's boyfriend. Classy dame, this one. Even though she's all that, she can't help but throw shade at said best friend (Stassi), and co-best friend (Katie) because they've finally grown tired of her existence.

"Everyone has a right to be themselves. Everyone has their own version of what's cute to them. Their style, their quirks, their compassion, whatever it may be. You know what's NOT cute? Being in your 30s and still being a mean girl. Being that age and being an assh&le. #PumpRules"

You want isn't cute? Anything about YOU. Go pretend to design t-shirts for your t-shirt company and cry to someone who cares. Cue the crickets...

via GIPHY

#2 The Bachelor, PETER WEBER
After his momma, Barb, became the most famous villain in The Bachelor history by flame-throwing Madison, and after Peter told her to back-it-up-- all on live TV... he's walked-back his passion. 

"Listen, my family, in general, they're my rock. l'll defend them till the day I die. I love them more than anything. They truly just want the best for me... I respect the hell out of my mom. To be able to speak her mind and not feel the pressure to cave in to a certain narrative on live television, in front of millions of people... that takes a strong person. That's the love of a mother."

Apparently, when Hannah Ann was face-down in your "cauliflower" (that's what she said his ween is like-- bland and tasteless) she failed to noticed your lack of "raisins". I understand respecting your mom. But there are times when a "helicopter parent" needs... handled. Your one attempt to do so failed. Did she threaten to kick you out of the house? (This pilot for Delta still lives at home!) Not make your favorite Petey dish?

Keep being comfortable having your mom run your life. You'll end up sucking from her teet for life. Wait...

via GIPHY

#1 JUSTIN BIEBER
There's nothing like the compassion of an overpaid douchelebrity to make me feel oh-so-better about life... Recently, The Beebs and his wife and Kendall Jenner were all Insta chatting live-- commiserating about this horrid time in quarantine. You know, a time when people are getting sick, some are dying, and many of us common folk losing income. But hey, they feel for us-- especially Dweebs:

"How blessed are we to be able to like... a lot of people obviously in this time have a crappy situation. You know, they look at us and obviously, we've worked hard for where we're at, so, it's like you can't feel bad for the things we have. But I think, just us taking that time to acknowledge that there are people who are really crippling is important."

I don't know how to put this... F&CK OFF! Oh, your "acknowledgement" warms the cockles our of hearts! Thank you for recognizing that we little people have it worse than you. And we know how hard you worked. You did rise up from obscurity. But your wife was born to famous parents. And Kendall was born of privilege, so... Please, girl. We don't have time to hate on your mansions. We have WORK TO DO.

Thanks for the tone-deaf, half-assed Hallmark sentiment, but we'll pass. Don't you have some pubes to go braid or something?

Two Balls & One Sack

11/1/2019

 
​Offenders for the week ending November 1, 2019:

via GIPHY

#3 JUSTIN BIEBER
He still has fans. A lot of fans. He promised to release a new album if his Instagram post got some love:

           "If this gets 20 million likes Justin Bieber will release an album before Christmas."

Errr... did Justin refer to himself in third person? #douchemove

He's "recently had a burst of creativity" (lucky for us), but said he has no plans of touring cuz he did all that when he was a teenager and hated it. So...

How 'bout if this week's slap list gets a million "likes" you'll leave the U.S. for realzies...

via GIPHY

#2 ANDY COHEN & TERESA GIUDICE
The O.G. of Bravo TV got first dibs on interviewing Teresa and Joe Giudice-- the legal-embattled-marriage-is-sketchy couple from the Real Housewives of New Jersey. After serving his 41-month prison term for fraud, Joe was deported to Italy recently because he never became a U.S. citizen. Teresa has been on her own after serving her 15-month prison term. The two hadn't spoken in years. But then Andy stirred the pot. By recalling a prediction former castmate Caroline Manzo made many years ago: That someone (Joe) would be going away and that Teresa would divorce Joe and show her girls how to be strong. 

Slap for Teresa: for thinking and speaking out loud that you think Caroline ratted you out to the FBI because she (Caroline) has lived "that dark life". Whatever that means. Stop blaming others for your shizz. Own up to it. Even your probably-gonna-be-ex husband said he knows who ratted and it wasn't Caroline.

Slap for Andy: you should've defended Caroline. She's not a criminal. She's just a truth-preaching bulldog. Your lack of fruit bowl power won't help you woo her back to the franchise.

via GIPHY

#1 JIM EDMONDS
It wasn't surprising when news of the former baseballer and his Real Housewives of Orange County wifey announced their split. Watching their relationship on the show (when the were cast members) was painful. She was definitely his trophy wife who was struggling to co-parent his teen daughter. But she wanted babies of her own with Jim. He agreed, but wasn't around for her IVF treatments. All seemed a bit better when their first child was born, but then came the stories of his sexting other women and other dalliances while she was preggo with their twins. 

And now, Meghan accuses her Jim of extra-curricular play time with the nanny. But which one? They have four nannies and an live-in au pair. That's a lot to choose from...

It's hard to feel sorry for you Meghan. Not saying cheating is cool, cuz it's not. But dude has had two other wives? And he's on the road all the time for his job? And he's a former pro athlete? 

Now, Jim vows to make things right with Meghan because she's a wonderful woman. How will you make things right? You're incapable.

1 + 1 + 1 = his bat will be a swingin' for the honey fences whenever he gets the chance... And Jim, your on-the-road-former-star-status is not a Pootie Hall Pass.

A Match Made in Hell

10/11/2019

 
Offenders for the week ending October 11, 2019:

via GIPHY

#3 RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO
The Jersey Shore star and his girlfriend Jen Harley have been on-again-off-again, and it's best that these two keep the switch off. These two are the definition of toxic. So, props for trying to keep your family together (yes, they reproduced), but it's now time to part ways permanently. Ronnie was arrested after allegedly threatening Jen with a knife after they shared a kiss and made an appearance at his CBD launch party. 

"Suspect and victim were involved in some kind of physical altercation... Officers had to use a taser (on Ronnie)."

Dude has been in-and-out of rehab. And now he faces 5-7 years if convicted. I thought CBD was supposed to be calming... Oh, if it's not mixed with drugs that cause you to act like a complete asshat.

via GIPHY

#2 KHLOE KARDASHIAN
​Why? Why do you want to reconcile with that cheating douchebag ex of yours, Tristan Thompson?!? Yes, you have a daughter that you're trying to raise together. Kudos. But he's lower than a snake in the grass. He's a snake lookin' for ass 24/7!

"Tristan has showed more of an interest. He seems to want more than co-parent with Khloe. It seems Khloe has moments when she is toying with the idea of getting back with Tristan." 

You've forgotten he cheated on you with your sister's best friend?

Don't. Do. It. Because before you know it, his ball(s) will be in someone else's court...

via GIPHY

#1 JUSTIN BIEBER AND HAILEY BALDWIN
So, Justin has continued to proven his Christ-like ways and maturity... not! Once a spoiled  nut fungus always a spoiled nut fungus. His manager has been in a very public feud with Taylor Swift. Justin has publicly defended him. By taking shots at Taylor. True to form. But instead of keeping his mouth shut and moving on, he must now continue to take shots at Tay Tay.

Taylor posted a video of herself having a post-surgery meltdown. Whatevs. Justin decided to videotape himself mocking her. You can hear his wifey poo poo laughing while recording. Of course, Tay fans were not happy with this. A day later, Hailey apologized. But not really:

"I never knew I could make somebody so upset. Truly, I'm so sorry you're THIS upset!?! Lord have mercy I hope I'm never this upset about someone I don't know!!"

Uhmmm, fans are rabid about their people. Just as some will defend you two idiots. The point is, you two speak of "love" and "no hate", but you two are petty bottom feeders with a lot of money and zero class. 

These two taint hairs are meant for each other. Two soulmates in hell.

Box Off

6/14/2019

 
​Offenders for the week ending June 14, 2019:

via GIPHY

#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON
Not only is Tristan a no-good, trouser wanderer, but he's the king of double standards. The former flame and baby daddy of Khloe Kardashian allegedly paid his first baby momma more than $100,000 to not date other men-- even though he was already dating Khloe. Jordan Craig said the money was to keep her "on call", and that she used the funds to care for their son and to pay back loans to her mother and sister.

Tristan started cheating with Khloe right after he discovered Jordan was pregnant. Nice.

First of all, please use contraceptives. Second, can we stop living our lives like a Lifetime movie?

via GIPHY

#2 GWYNETH PALTROW
This wenchbag is just looney. She's married to Brad Falchuk, but they don't live together full time. Okay... I understand separate bedrooms for the snoring issue. I understand not living full time together when one person travels a lot for business. But the reason why these two don't live together is because they're a blended family. Brad has decided to keep his home to host his children from his first marriage when it's his week. Because this is a display of true unity and true step-parenting. Not! He has two kids, Gwynie has two. It's just easier to not try.

"I mean, sometimes that piece gets complicated when there are two teenage girls. If you're not all drinking the same Kool-Aid, it can be tough. I do think, though, at the end of the day, everyone wants the same thing, which is to feel love and and be accepted."

And nothing says "I love you" by not living together as a family. Sigh. Blending families is a challenge. But the way to handle that is to work through it.

​Why did you even get married?

via GIPHY

#1 JUSTIN BIEBER
Guess the Beebs felt he wasn't getting enough attention in the press, so let's generate some! Well, kudos for continually proving what a toolbag you truly are. For whatever reason, he decided to challenge Tom Cruise to an MMA match, saying the actor isn't that much of a badass like he is in the movies. So, he threw this down on Twitter:

"I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to a fight in the octagon. Tom if you don't take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite?" 

For all his blabbing about what a "changed" person he is, he really isn't. He's supposed to have found God and is all zen, and is all married and matured. HA HA HA HA!

Still don't understand why he's picking on Maverick. As for questioning Tom's physical abilities, it's called acting. You know, where you pretend to be a character you're not. It's not like Tom is scaling buildings or fighting with skells. He's playing a role. Plus, this is just silly. What grown man would respond to some manchild's ultimatum? And, why are you messing with the poster boy of Scientology?

​They could disappear you. 

Wait. That would be a good thing. Please, keep challenging Tom. 

Go Back to Canada

5/10/2019

 
Offenders for the week ending May 10, 2019:

via GIPHY

#3 KATY PERRY
Ah, the Met Gala. That's wear all the famous people show up in costumes based on the year's theme for the event. An event I'll never be invited to because I have no fashion sense. Of course, it seems like a lot of famous people don't have fashion sense. But whatevs. While I appreciate Katy's fun persona, I found it ironic she decided that one of her "looks" of the evening would be a big burger costume. Outrageous wins, so maybe that was the goal. All I could think about was why a burger costume? There are way better costumes you could've chosen. But I guess what I find amazing about her choice is because of the irony. It's quite fitting because Katy has had a lot of "beef" in her history, so there's that.

P.S. I don't want to know what the special sauce is...

via GIPHY

#2 JOHN CENA AND NIKKI BELLA
Social media is truly reality TV. And it's the perfect outlet to post without thinking. John Cena and his ex-fiancee Nikki Bella are taking their fighter-ways out of the ring and into the Twittersphere. 

John tweeted: "Beware those who think you owe them happiness at the expense of your own well being."

To which Nikki tweeted: "When you don't give him what he wants, he will delete you, silence you, manipulate you, do what he can to destroy you, but turn that hurt into strength. Take the high road and prevail! Happiness can't be bought, it is priceless. It's your true secret weapon. N."

Nice try at trying to be vaguely classy. You both are just one "bye, bitch" comment from entering hot mess Mama June territory. Nobody wants that.

via GIPHY

#1 JUSTIN BIEBER
Isn't there a saying: "Douches of a feather flock together" or something like that. Our most loathsome Canadian import decided to verbally vomit on Insta to defend his bro, Chris Brown. Yeah, that Chris Brown. The woman beater.

"Everyone wants to wait til people die To give them the credit they deserve. I'm calling it now when CB passes away after a long full life, you will miss what you had in front of you the whole time... trust me watch you will see... the people who have over looked this mans talent because of a mistake he made... you need to reevaluate! Love you @chrisbrownofficial."


A mistake? You mean a repeated "mistake" of beating women. I can tell you I won't care when he drops off the planet. To me, he already has. Chris Brown had a potentially amazing legacy, being compared to Michael Jackson. But this is how life works: a pile of misdeeds overshadows talent. Especially since your douche-y friend is not apologetic nor sorry for his past "mistake". Just like you're not sorry for treating people like crap. Because you two are equally a jackhole. 

Where's a muzzle for this ingrown dick pimple?

Windbag Beneath Our Wings

11/30/2018

 
Offenders for the week ending November 30, 2018:

via GIPHY

#3 JUSTIN BIEBER
Perhaps he can be a Buddha for millennials after dropping this gem of wisdom:

                                                          "Love isn't always easy."

Duh. The internets were all a quivering because Justin and his new wife, Hailey Baldwin, spent their first Thanksgiving together. And it also marked the first time their families got together in one place. OMG! 

"Relationships are hard and love isn't always easy but thank you Jesus for showing me how! Every day is a learning process, trying to be more like him, patient, kind, selfless, boy I got a long way! But gods grace is sufficient!"

I'm hoping this spiritual/zen Beebs sticks. You can't be a hot mess you're whole life, right? You're welcome for the preventative slap.

via GIPHY

​#2 VICKI GUNVALSON, Real Housewives of Orange County cast member
She likes to call herself the O.G. of the O.C. because she's been on the show for its duration. Awesome! But this aging attention-whore is expert at storytelling-- damaging storytelling. Her latest victim: fellow cast member Kelly Dodd. For whatever reason during the show's reunion episode, she decided to spill some tea-- claiming that Kelly does cocaine. That went over like a lead balloon. Kelly wants Vicki gone.

"If they don't so something to Vicki how could I go back... They are running that show to the ground and hurting people's reputation and my brand!!"

Vicki, who likes to flaunt her wealth, should watch her ass. Especially if Kelly sues for slander. Vicki has spread rumors in the past about other friends on the show: Tamra's husband is gay; Shannon was beaten by her ex-husband; so-and-so's marriage is miserable, etc...

Yes, stirring up the shizz makes for good reality TV, but if you're hurling up lies, then you're damaging someone's life. We're going to change your name to Icky Fullofshit.

via GIPHY

#1 BETTE MIDLER
This is why I hate the entertainment business, especially the "powerful" women in the business. They preach supporting women, and uplifting fellow ovarians, and helping females get ahead... blah, blah, blah. It's bullshit, quite honestly. Hollywood women only support other women if they have the same viewpoint. If you don't, then we're going to eviscerate you in the most brutal way. We're going to say the most vile things about you publicly, then turn around and talk about how we love women! 

The Meddler hates our President. I understand many people loathe him. So it makes it acceptable to loathe his wife, the First Lady, and his family. You know, guilt by association. I love how the FLOTUS is denounced for being beautiful and for having a successful career as a model. Yes, she has done many a sexy photo shoot. If I had her looks and her body, you'd bet I'd capitalize on all that while I could. But Bette ain't having it. After tweeting a photo from 2000 of Melania Trump wearing a sexy bikini while posing in an airplane cockpit, she wrote:

                  "The dry cleaning bill for the upholstery on Air Force One must be insane." 

With the hashtag: #FLOTITS

Her own fans called her out for her venom. I recall a time in Miss AssHat's career where she was known for shaking her LOW-TITS and flab ass. When Hollywood-types open their mouths, they show how stupid they really are. Which is why politicians love them-- because they'll spread any ol' pile of lies like a good soldier.

Bette, please, find some good hormone-balancing meds and get fitted for a mouth muffler. Thanks.

What Brown Can't Do For You

7/13/2018

 
​Offenders for the week ending July 13, 2018:

via GIPHY

#3 DEMI LOVATO
Girl, this is a wake-up slap. You've had your shizz together for a while now, but it's time to get off the crazy train. 

Last month she severed ties with her rehab peeps, CAST Recovery. Her contract stipulated that she obviously had to remain sober or be let go. Now, she's fired her manager mid-tour:

"She wanted to go in a different direction, and decided to completely sever ties with him... she is focused on surrounding herself with positivity and accountability." 

Hope this is the truth... because addicts are usually liars to themselves and everyone around them. Did your manager call you out on some bad behavior that you're in denial about? 

I'll give you a seatbelt to keep you on that wagon.

via GIPHY

#2 JUSTIN BIEBER
I'm a gal who loves love. But I don't think it's wrong to start taking bets on how long Justin and Hailey Baldwin will be married for-- that is, if they actually make that trip down the aisle. Because they've been on-again-off-again throughout their relationship history.

Justin proposed during dinner at a Bahamian restaurant. Awwww! His daddy is so happy for his boy. He tweeted:

                 "@justinbeiber Proud is an understatement! Excited for the next chapter!"

Sure Justin has matured. He went to church and stuff and doesn't browbeat and humiliate his women anymore! Whatever. I'm confused though. You told your ex, Selena Gomez, you loved her last month-- and now you're engaged. And recently, your fiancee said you two are better as friends-- and you still proposed?

If you do tie the knot, please do not reproduce for a long while. We have enough hot messes on this planet. 

"Baby/Baby/Baby/Nooooooo!"

via GIPHY

#1 CHRIS BROWN
Doesn't this set of dildo lips have as many arrests now as he's had hit songs?

There was a warrant out for his arrest. And it happened in Miami recently. He's accused of punching a photographer during a club appearance. I'm sorry, but you're still a popular artist (why, I don't know.) People are going to take your picture. In fact, that's what you want them to do. You know, for publicity and stuff. 

Let's run down sperm rag's rap sheet:

1. 2009: Beating up Rihanna

2.  2016: Pointing a gun (allegedly) at a lady friend admiring your jewelry at your home.

3. 2017: Punching that photog (allegedly) in da club.

4.  2018: A woman was raped (allegedly) by two of your friends during a party at your home.

5. 2018: A woman granted a restraining order against your lame ass after you punched her.

At least you had a nice little seven-year stint of minimal douchebaggery. But you can't deny what you are genetically-- a waste. Would love to see you fight mano-a-mano with someone equally matched. Or better yet-- just stop breathing. Problem solved. 

We Three Weens...

7/28/2017

 
Offenders for the week ending July 28, 2017:
Picture
"Be healed!"
​#3 JUSTIN BIEBER
This is a left cheek-right cheek double-slappy. 

First, Beebs has cancelled the rest of his tour. Guess it's too difficult for him to muster up the strength to finish his last 14 shows. By the way, he only does ONE show per week. Exhausting. I get it. This young fella has been recording and performing almost non-stop since he was discovered. There have been stories of him crying, begging his handlers to let him sleep. Finish what you start! What about the other performers on your tour that don't make as much as you and depend on a paycheck. Are you paying them for your flake out? 

Second, Beebs cancelled because he wants to get back in touch with his spirituality and because he's planning on starting his own church. Yes. His. Own. Church. I respect his desire to get back to the New Testament. He was raised in church, and having a strong foundation is good. But... starting a church? So. Many. Questions. Is he going to preach? What would be call him? The Reverend Beebs? Will his followers then truly be "Belibers?" 

The worship music would be interesting, though...

Picture
"My milkshake brings all the hoes to the yard..."
#2 KEVIN HART
Just call him: Daddy Cheater. While his wife is preggo, Kevin's makin' nice with some trampola. Mr. Funnyman was caught canoodling inside his luxury ride with a hot brunette outside a Miami hotel. Of course, he's trying to play it off like it's social media's fault. Haters gonna hate, right? It has nothing to do with your track record of cheating... See, Kevin got divorced the first time because he was cheating on her with the woman that would become Wife #2 and the mother of his children. Methinks this is just a bit of karma coming back around to all the players involved:

                                        "He who cheats with you will cheat ON you."

Not only is cheating repulsive, but cheating while your wife is carrying your child is, like, 100 times worse. 

Pro tip: Cars have windows. No matter what time of day or night, or how discreet you think you are-- WE CAN SEE YOU!

Picture
"Hey, Boo boo. I'm tossin' somethin' itchy ur way..."
#1 USHER
Ur-sher is making 'em blister. Gag. I used to find you lovable. We all felt compassion for you when you publicly admitted years ago that your philandering ways made TLC's Chili break it off with you. Then, you married that hideous lecherous She-Ra and had a child with her-- and we wanted you to open your eyes to her true ways. You did. But you need to stop opening your fly. For. Realz. A woman is suing him for $10 million dollars in an "unprotected sex" suit. Because girlfriend alleges she was exposed to herpes because of him. She claims the two engaged in heavy petting, she decided to play the "skin flute," then that led to full-on muffin-meets-fruit bowl time-- with protection. But 12 days later, the two rendezvoused again, sans raincoat... and... she's not infected, yet.

What? See, she's concerned because she learned via news reports that Oozer admitted to having Herpes Simplex 2. And she never would've gone to Pleasure Town with him had she known this in advance. Plus, he previously paid a woman $1.1 million for infecting her. 

Usher, is this "Confessions Part 3"? I'm about to slap you after I put this hazmat suit on...

​PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com

MMMStop!

6/23/2017

 
Offenders for the week ending June 23, 2017:
Picture
"Me? Fake a storyline?"
#3 KENYA MOORE
The Real Housewives of Atlanta star finally snagged a man in her vagus flytrap and convinced him to marry her. In a surprise move, the former Miss USA shared a sly picture on the Instagram of her wedding day. This all a shock to Matt Jordan-- the dude she was dating all of last season on the show. So that means, Mizz Desperation was seeing her victim while with Matt. Naughty. And he found out about the whole thing online:

"The false allegations of domestic violence, the unwarranted restraining order, the loss of business opportunities, money... I can deal with that. Losing my queen is a blow I never want to feel."

Sad. But you need slapped, too. You're free! Anywho, methinks this marriage is all for show. Like, the TV show-- because K-Whore knows she needs a story line to stay relevant on the show-- even though a friend claims she wants to keep things private. HA!  I'm sure the two of you will continue your faux love story with a baby on the way, too. Thanks for adding to the joke that marriage is for some people.

America!

Picture
"Happy Mather's Day to meeeeeee!"
#2 CAITLYN JENNER
I don't have much to say here but this: now that you're completely a fembot, you need to stop celebrating Father's Day. Yes, back-in-the-day when you were BRUCE you fathered the childrens. So technically, you're Dad. But if you want to continue to be identified by your new identity, and you want us to as well-- then be Caitlyn. And Caitlyn only!

Grrrrrrrrr! 

Picture
"Itchy ear herpes..."
#1 HANSON
Ring the bell! It's Hanson vs. Justin Bieber! During a recent radio interview in Australia, the boys took a shot at Beebs-- who by the way-- is not Australia-friendly-- while playing a game trying to guess a song. Well, "Despacito" played and they had no idea who was singing. It was The Bieber. And then, things took quite the turn. The bros Hanson compared Bieber's songs to STDs. Yup. 

"I prefer not to get any venereal diseases, so whenever Justin Bieber gets near me or near my ears, it's just ear infections. His songs are terrible."

Daaaaaamn! Who knew these sweet boys could grow up to throw such epic shade! But... it is my duty to call you out. The song you're most known for, that little ditty called "MMMBop"? Well, you're responsible for infecting all of us with the musical version of herpes... which is something that will never go away. 

I have to slap you for your rudeness, but I love your comparison. Maybe a light tap will do... LOL 

​PHOTO CREDIT:
GIF www.giphy.com
<<Previous

    About The Slap

    I lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;)

    Archives

    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014

    Categories

    All
    50 Cent
    Aaron Carter
    Aaron Rodgers
    Abby Lee Miller
    Abuse
    Adam Levine
    Airlines
    Albert Belle
    Alec Baldwin
    Alex Rodriguez
    Alex Rodriquez
    Allison Mack
    Al Pacino
    ALSC
    Always
    Alyssa Milano
    Amazon
    Amber Heard
    American Idol
    Amie Harwick
    Am Writing
    Am Writng
    Am Wrting
    Andy Cohen
    Andy Dick
    Angela Lansbury
    Angelina Jolie
    Anna Duggar
    Annoying
    Anthony Michael Hall
    Antonio Brown
    Ariana Grande
    Arie Luyendyk Jr
    Ariel Winter
    Armie Hammer
    Ashley Darby
    Ashley Jacobs
    Ashton Kutcher
    Asia Argento
    Asians
    Atlantic Records
    Audio
    Aunt Becky
    Austen Kroll
    Azealia Banks
    Baby Has No Name
    Bac Chyna
    Bachelor In Paradise
    Bachelor Nation
    Backstreet Boys
    Bad Baby Names
    Barbara Weber
    Bella Hadid
    Ben Affleck
    Ben Dreyfuss
    Bethenny Frankel
    Bette Midler
    Beyonce
    Bhad Bhabie
    Bigfoot
    Bill Belichick
    Billboard Music Awards
    Bill Clinton
    Bill Cosby
    Bill Gates
    Billie Lee
    Bill McFarland
    Bill Murray
    Bill O'Reilly
    Billy Ray Cyrus
    Bishop Charles Ellis The Third
    Blac Chyna
    Black Widow
    Blake Shelton
    Blink-182
    BLM
    Bobby Flay
    Boy Bands
    Brad Pitt
    Brandi Glanville
    Brandon Blackstock
    Bravo
    Bravo TV
    Brawnwyn Windham-Burke
    Brian Austin Green
    Bridgerton
    Brielle Biermann
    Britney Spears
    Brittany Cartwright
    Bruce Springsteen
    Bruce Willis
    Bryan Abrams
    Bryan Tanaka
    Bull
    Caitlyn Jenner
    Camille Cosby
    Cancel Culture
    Cardi B
    Carmelo Anthony
    Cash Me Outside
    Cavs
    CBS
    Cee Lo Green
    Celebriies
    Celebrites
    Celebrities
    Celebrities Behaving Badly
    Celebrity
    Celebrity Bad Behavior
    Celebrity Dirt
    Celebrity Gossip
    Celebrity Slap
    Celine Dion
    Cesar Milan
    Channing Tatum
    Charles Barkley
    Charlie D'Amelio
    Charlie Sheen
    Cheating
    Cheer
    Chelsea Handler
    Cher
    Child Porn
    Chris Brown
    Chris Brown Accused Of Assault Again
    Chris Cuomo
    Chris Daughtry
    Chris Noth
    Chris Rock
    Chrissy Teigen
    Christian Bale
    Cindy Crawford
    Clare Crawley
    Clayton Echard
    CNN
    Cody Simpson
    Colin Kaepernick
    Color Me Badd
    Comedy
    Common
    Connor McGreggor
    Corey Feldman
    Coronavirus
    Cosmo Magazine
    Courteney Cox
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Cuffe Owens
    Curling
    Dale Moss
    Dan Akyroyd
    Dance Moms
    Dane Cook
    Daniel Craig
    Danielle Bregoli
    Danielle Staub
    Daredevil
    David Hasselhoff
    David Irving
    Dean McDermott
    Deflategate
    Deflate Gate
    DeMario Jackson
    Demi Lovato
    Demi Moore
    Denise Richards
    Dennis Hof
    Dennis Rodman
    Diddy
    Die Hard
    Dina Lohan
    Diplo
    Disney
    Divorce
    DJ Khaled
    Doja Cat
    Dominic Cheated On His Wife
    Dominic West
    Donald Trump
    Donna Karan
    Doping
    Dorinda Medley
    Douchebag
    Dove
    Drake
    Drake Bell
    Dr. Dre
    Drew Carey
    Drinking Blood
    Drunk
    Duchess Kate
    Eddie Murphy
    Ed Sheeran
    Elisabeth Hasselbeck
    Eliza Dushku
    Elle Fanning
    Ellen DeGeneres
    Elon Musk
    Eminem
    Emma Watson
    Empire
    Enertainment
    Entertainment
    Erika Jayne
    Evangeline Lilly
    Evan Rachel Wood
    Ezra Miller
    Fabio
    Faith Evans
    Faith Hill
    Farrah Abraham
    Felicity Huffman
    Fergie
    FKA Twigs
    Football
    For Fun
    Frances Bean
    Fred Savage
    Fun
    Funny
    Fyre
    Gabbana
    Galentine's Day
    Gary Busey
    Gavin Rossdale
    Gayle King
    George Floyd
    George Takei
    Gigi Hadid
    GOOP
    Gordon Ramsey
    Gossip
    Grey's Anatomy
    Grimes
    Gwyneth Paltrow
    Hailey Baldwin
    Hailey Bieber
    Hannah Ann
    Hanson
    Harassment
    Harry Styles
    Harvey Weinstein
    Haunted Hoochie
    Haus Of V
    Hayden Panettiere
    Hayley Geftman-Gold
    Heather Locklear
    Heidi Montag
    Herpes
    #HiAshley
    Hoda Kotb
    Hoes
    Hollywood
    Hollywoood
    Honey Boo Boo
    Hope Solo
    Hot Felon
    Human Barbie
    Humor
    Humore
    Hunter Biden
    Inappropriate Behavior
    Ioan Gruffudd
    Isabella Rose
    Isaiah Thomas
    Isaiah Washington
    Jada Pinkett Smith
    Jake Paul
    James Corden
    James Toback
    Jamie Lynn Spears
    Jamie Spears
    Jana Kramer
    Jane Fonda
    Janice Dickinson
    Jared Fogle
    Ja Rule
    Jason Alexander
    Jason Derulo
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Sudeikis
    Jax Taylor
    Jay Cutler
    Jeff Bezos
    Jeffrey Toobin
    Jen Harley
    Jennifer Connell
    Jennifer Lawrence
    Jennifer Lopez
    Jen Shah
    Jeopardy!
    Jeph Loeb
    Jerry Harris
    Jersey Shore
    Jessie Smollett
    JetBlue
    Jim Edmonds
    JLo
    Joe Biden
    Joe Kennedy III
    Joey Buttafuoco
    John Cena
    John Grisham
    John Mayer
    Johnny Depp
    John Stamos
    John Travolta
    JoJo Siwa
    Jon Gosselin
    Jon Peters
    Jordyn Woods
    Jose Canseco
    Josh Duggar
    Joy Behar
    Juan Pablo
    Julian Assange
    Jussie Smollett
    Justice
    Justin Bieber
    Justin Hartley
    Kaitlyn Bristowe
    Kandi Burruss
    Kanye
    Kanye West
    Kardashians
    Kate Gosselin
    Kate Hudson
    Kate Moss
    Kate Plus 8
    Katharine McPhee
    Kathie Lee Gifford
    Kathryn Dennis
    Kathy Griffin
    Kathy Vogel
    Katie Thurston
    Katy Perry
    Ke$ha
    Keira Knightley
    Keith RIchards
    Kelly Bensimon
    Kelly Clarkson
    Kelly Dodd
    Kendall Jenner
    Kendra Wilkinson
    Kendrick Lamar
    Ken Jennings
    Kenya Moore
    Kevin Connolly
    Kevin Federline
    Kevin Hart
    Kevin Hunter
    Kevin Spacey
    Khloe Kardashian
    Kim Cattrall
    Kim Kardashian
    Kim Richards
    Kirstie Alley
    Kourtney Kardashian
    Kris Jenner
    Kristen Cavallari
    Kristen Doute
    Kristen Stewart
    Kurt Cobain
    Kyle Richards
    Kylie Jenner
    Kyrie Irving
    LaCroix
    Lady Gaga
    La La Anthony
    LaLa Kent
    Lama Odom
    Lamar Odom
    Lana Del Ray
    Landon Clements
    Larry Flynt
    Larry King
    Larsa Pipped
    Larsa Pippen
    Las Vegas
    Laura Ingalls Wilder
    Lauren Lowe
    Leah Remini
    Lea Michele
    LeeAnne Locken
    Leff Lowe
    Lenny Kravitz
    Leo Is Mr. Steal Yo Girl
    Liams Hemsworth
    Lil Nas X
    Lil Wayne
    Lily James
    Lindsay Lohan
    Lisa Bonet
    Lisa Rinna
    Lisa Vanderpump
    Little Debbie
    Logan Paul
    Lori Loughlin
    Louis CK
    Louis Tomlinson
    Luann De Leseps
    Luann De Lesseps
    Machine Gun Kelly
    Madison
    Madison LeCroy
    Madonna
    Malik Beasley
    Mama June
    Mariah Carey
    Marilyn Manson
    Mario Batali
    Marvel
    Mason Disick
    Matt Damon
    Matthew McConaughey
    Matthew Morrisson
    Matt Lauer
    Max Ehrich
    MCU
    Megan Fox
    Meghan Fox
    Meghan King
    Meghan King Edmonds
    Meghan Markle
    Meghan McCain
    Megyn Kelly
    Melanie Martinez
    Mel B
    Melissa Gorga
    #MeToo
    MGK
    MGk Gives Megan Fox A Thorn Engagement Ring
    MIchael Darby
    Michael Lohan
    Michael Phelps
    Michael Weatherly
    Michelle Branch
    Mickey Rourke
    Mike Conley
    Mike Shouhed
    Mike The Situation Sorrentino
    Mila Kunis
    Miley Cyrus
    Miranda Lambert
    Mission Impossible
    Mohamed Sanu
    Mom Fail
    Moneybagg Yo
    Montana Yao
    Myka Stauffer
    Naked And Stupid
    Naomi Campbell
    Natalie Portman
    Naya Rivera
    NBA
    NBA All Star Game
    NBC
    Nelly
    NeNe Leakes
    Netflix
    NFL
    Nick Cannon
    Nicki Minaj
    Nick Viall
    Nicolas Cage
    Nike
    Nikki Bella
    Nirvana
    Notorious B.I.G.
    NXIVM
    OAR
    OJ Simpson
    Olivia Jade
    Olivia Wilde
    Omarosa
    Operation Varsity Blues
    Oprah
    Orlando Bloom
    Ozzy Osbourne
    Pamela Anderson
    Parkland
    Patrick Carney
    Pat Sajak
    Paul Haggis
    Paul McCartney
    Pedophile
    Perez Hilton
    Pervert
    Pete Davidson
    Peter Weber
    Phaedra Parks
    Podcast
    Porsha Williams
    Presley Gerber
    Prince Andrew
    Prince Harry
    Prince William
    Queen Elizabeth
    Race
    Rachel Dolezal
    Racism
    Ramona Singer
    Ray J
    Real Housewives
    Real Housewives Of Atlanta
    Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills
    Real Housewives Of Dallas
    Real Housewives Of New Jersey
    Real Housewives Of New York City
    Real Housewives Of Orange County
    Real Housewives Of Potomac
    Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City
    Reality TV
    Rege-Jean Page
    Relationships
    RHONJ
    Rick Shroder
    R Kelly
    R. Kelly
    Robert Kraft
    Rob Kardashian
    Roger Ailes
    Ronnie Magro
    Ronnie Ortiz Magro
    Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
    Roseanne Barr
    Rosie O'Donnell
    Royal Family
    Russia
    Saitre
    Samantha Bee
    Samantha Markle
    Sandra Bullock
    Sarcasm
    Satan
    SATC
    Satire
    Savannah Guthrie
    Scandal
    Scarlett Johansson
    Scheana Shay
    Scientology
    Scott Baio
    Scott Disick
    Scottie Pippen
    Scott Scarborough
    Seinfeld
    Selena Gomez
    Serena Williams
    Sex Tape
    Sexual Harassment
    Shahs Of Sunset
    Shanna Moakler
    Shannon Beador
    Shaq
    Shep Rose
    Sheree Whitfield
    Shia LaBeouf
    Sicko
    Simon Cowell
    Slap
    Slap A Ceiebrity
    Slap A Celebrity
    Slap List
    Smash Mouth
    Snark
    SNL
    Society
    Sonja Morgan
    Southern Charm
    Spencer Pratt
    Spice Girls
    Spike Lee
    Spilling Tea
    Spill The Tea
    Stacey Dash
    Star Trek
    Stassi Schroeder
    Stephen A. Smith
    Stephen Dorff
    Steven Seagal
    Steve Rannazzisi
    Stormy Daniels
    Stranger Things
    Stupid
    Sugar Bear
    Super Bowl
    Tabitha Brown
    Tamra Judge
    Taylor Hanson
    Taylor Hicks
    Taylor Swift
    Ted Nugent
    Teresa Giudice
    Teresa Guidice
    Terrell Owens
    Terry Crews
    The Affair
    The Bachelor
    The Bachelorette
    The Fat Jewish
    The Game
    The Hoff
    The Kardashians
    The Meaning Of Mariah
    The New Yorker
    The Oscars
    The Spears Family
    The Tea
    The Wonder Years
    This Is Us
    Thomas Markle
    Thomas Ravenel
    Thong
    T.I.
    Tiger King
    Tiger Woods
    TikTok
    Tina Knowles
    Tish Cyrus
    TLC
    TMZ
    Today Show
    Todd Chrisley
    Tom Brady
    Tom Cruise
    Tony Robbins
    Tori Spelling
    Travis And Kourtney
    Travis Barker
    Travis Scott
    Tristan Thompson
    Trump
    Tyler Shields
    Tyrese Gibson
    Usher
    Val Kilmer
    Vanderpump Rules
    Vanessa Marcil
    Vegas
    VegasStrong
    Vicki Gunvalson
    Victim Advocate
    Victoria Beckham
    Victoria Fuller
    Vince Vaughn
    Vinnie Guadagnino
    Vontae Davis
    Wack 100
    Warren Beatty
    Wendy Williams
    Wheel Of Fortune
    White House
    William Shatner
    Will Smith
    Will Smith Slapped Chris Rock
    Winnie Cooper
    Winter Olympics
    Writing
    Writng
    Ye
    Yoga
    Yolanda Hadid
    Yosef
    Zayn Malik

    RSS Feed