Offenders for the week of September 21, 2015:
This week's Slapees are gifted a theme song that befits their offense...
"What's your name again?"
#3 KRIS JENNER
OFFENSE: Unaccepting
The rest of the world has been pretty okay with calling the former Bruce Jenner by the name he prefers-- which is "Caitlyn". But since she's a non-conformist (and perhaps a non-human) she calls Caitlyn by the heart-warming name "Jenner". Are you smackin' her on the backside in the locker room, too? She claims she needs to get to know Caitlyn first before she can address her properly.
What? You know Caitlyn... in ways we thankfully never will. So what's the problem? Would you feel better if she called you a Wench Clot? (whatever that is...)
Your theme song: Billy Joel's "Stiletto"... "She cuts you once, she cuts you twice/But you still believe/The wound is so fresh you can taste the blood..."
OFFENSE: Unaccepting
The rest of the world has been pretty okay with calling the former Bruce Jenner by the name he prefers-- which is "Caitlyn". But since she's a non-conformist (and perhaps a non-human) she calls Caitlyn by the heart-warming name "Jenner". Are you smackin' her on the backside in the locker room, too? She claims she needs to get to know Caitlyn first before she can address her properly.
What? You know Caitlyn... in ways we thankfully never will. So what's the problem? Would you feel better if she called you a Wench Clot? (whatever that is...)
Your theme song: Billy Joel's "Stiletto"... "She cuts you once, she cuts you twice/But you still believe/The wound is so fresh you can taste the blood..."
"Ima shout out what a dumbass I am!"
#2 AZEALIA BANKS
OFFENSE: Trashy
When most of us have some air travel issues, we get angry. Understandable. But do we act like total jackals? Not usually-- unless you're a celebrity. Because you're entitled to such behavior, right? Ms. Bungs was trying to disembark a plane that landed in New York when a French couple blocked her path-- meaning she couldn't leave right away! Her reaction? Punching the dude and spitting in his face.
Classy. She then called the intervening flight attendant a "F8cking F*gg*t".
Of course, no charges filed. So, justice will have to be served here.
Your theme song: Obviously, Beck's "Loser"... "Soy un perdedor/I'm a loser, baby/So why don't you kill me?"... because it's against the law.
OFFENSE: Trashy
When most of us have some air travel issues, we get angry. Understandable. But do we act like total jackals? Not usually-- unless you're a celebrity. Because you're entitled to such behavior, right? Ms. Bungs was trying to disembark a plane that landed in New York when a French couple blocked her path-- meaning she couldn't leave right away! Her reaction? Punching the dude and spitting in his face.
Classy. She then called the intervening flight attendant a "F8cking F*gg*t".
Of course, no charges filed. So, justice will have to be served here.
Your theme song: Obviously, Beck's "Loser"... "Soy un perdedor/I'm a loser, baby/So why don't you kill me?"... because it's against the law.
"Your face is lookin' like Monica's jay jay..."
#1 BILL CLINTON
OFFENSE: Hypocrite
According to "sources", Bill made his wifey Hillary get a secret facelift. I'm not trying to be a mean girl here, but I'd be asking for my money back. Anywho, I guess Willie flat-out told her she looked "old". That's just harsh. She had her cheeks lifted, her wrinkles Botox-ed, as well as work on her nose, eyes, and forehead.
Speaking of lifting cheeks, I bet that's where Hillary hides her "fruit bowl". (She scares me.) But I digress. Bill, have you looked in a mirror lately? Your face kinda-sorta looks like a rotting scrotum.
Your theme song: Ugly Kid Joe's "I Hate Everything About You"... "And I get sick when I'm around/I can't stand to be around/I hate everything about you!"
OFFENSE: Hypocrite
According to "sources", Bill made his wifey Hillary get a secret facelift. I'm not trying to be a mean girl here, but I'd be asking for my money back. Anywho, I guess Willie flat-out told her she looked "old". That's just harsh. She had her cheeks lifted, her wrinkles Botox-ed, as well as work on her nose, eyes, and forehead.
Speaking of lifting cheeks, I bet that's where Hillary hides her "fruit bowl". (She scares me.) But I digress. Bill, have you looked in a mirror lately? Your face kinda-sorta looks like a rotting scrotum.
Your theme song: Ugly Kid Joe's "I Hate Everything About You"... "And I get sick when I'm around/I can't stand to be around/I hate everything about you!"
PHOTO CREDIT:
Kris Jenner https://www.flickr.com/photos/132177716@N08/
Azealia Banks https://www.flickr.com/photos/sidestagecoll/
Bill Clinton https://www.flickr.com/photos/americanprogress/
Kris Jenner https://www.flickr.com/photos/132177716@N08/
Azealia Banks https://www.flickr.com/photos/sidestagecoll/
Bill Clinton https://www.flickr.com/photos/americanprogress/
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