Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

What a Lovehole

7/2/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 2, 2021:

#3 COURTNEY LOVE

Just when you think this pimple's been eliminated for good, it pops back up. She's all bent that pop artist Olivia Rodrigo's album cover for Sour is quite similar to Hole's 1994 album cover for Live Through This-- which features a brokedown prom queen. Love tweeted:

"Spot the difference! #twinning!"

So damn what!?!? Be grateful a 20-something appreciates your music and knows who you are.

Love felt that Olivia should've gotten permission first. Because, you know, manners. From the woman who may have killed Kurt Cobain.

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#2 MEGHAN MARKLE

Methinks Meghan possesses a poison poonanie, because once the Former-Prince Harry got a slice, he was never the same. I mean, look at all the tea spilled regarding the Royal Family. And Harry is estranged from his pops and bro? It's like Meghan wanted the benefits and exposure that being royalty could provide, without performing the royal duties. Like Harry couldn't have "escaped" the horrors of privilege pre-Meghan? Riiight.

But it appears that Meghan 2.0 has alienated yet another person-- her bestie. Jessica Mulroney posted this gem:

"Life changes. You lose love. You lose friends. You lose pieces of yourself that you never imagined would be gone. And then, without even realizing it, those pieces come back. New love enters. Better friends come along. And a stronger, wiser you, is staring back in the mirror."

But it's Jessica's fault for getting dragged into some social media fight, blah, blah, blah... that's why there's a rift. And supposedly Jessica is using their friendship for headlines. This sounds like a familiar accusation...

Perhaps Meghan was always a stormy bitchfront...

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#1 ALLISON MACK

Saying you're sorry doesn't make everything go away. Especially when you recruited women into the NXIVM sex cult. She claims she was brainwashed, and felt that what she was doing was the right thing-- bringing young women to Keith Raniere so they could be mentored. She released a lengthy statement last weekend ahead of her sentencing yesterday, hoping to garner favor from the court. In part she said:

"... those who have been harmed by my actions, it is now of paramount importance for me to say, from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry.."

I'm sure that's true. And I'm sure that she realizes what she did. But... she wants to serve zero jail time. Zero. Why? Because she's a changed person. She's reconnected with her family, works for a catering business, and is pursuing an education at UC Berkeley. So...

Good for you. But you aided in the ruining of lives. Even those who cause car accidents that accidentally kill someone still have to answer for that. Zero jail time? Eff you. Fortunately, Allison will spend three years in prison, though it's nearly not enough. She faced 15 years in prison for her misdeeds. Let's see how much time she does, or perhaps she'll skate out of it Cosby-style.

This whole thing is disgusting for so many reasons...

Gangsta Becks

4/12/2019

Offenders for the week ending April 12, 2019:

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#3 RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO (of Jersey Shore fame) & JEN HARLEY

These tumultuous lovers are back "on" again. The two were livin' it up in Vegas recently. They even staged a wedding at the world-famous drive-thru Tunnel of Love at the Little White Chapel as an April Fools' Day joke. No, you two are the joke. And your one-year-old child is stuck in the middle of your toxic love affair. But we're sure your reconciliation will work out this time. Not.

Let's take a trip down felonious lane: Jen was arrested last June for domestic battery. In January of this year, the two split after a massive blowout on New Year's Eve. And, Ronnie sent himself to rehab.

But as the Captain and Tennille would say "Love Will Keep Us Together." Sure. Then at least get some birth control. Please.

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#2 ALLISON MACK

The former Smallville actress and completely repugnant wenchhole has decided to plead guilty in the NXIVM sex trafficking case. NXIVM is accused of existing as a secret society of "masters" and sexually subservient "slaves". Mack was accused of recruiting these "slaves" for co-founder Keith Raniere.

The asshat actress used her fame, and her girl-next-door charm to lie to women, claiming she wanted them to become part of a female mentorship group that addresses one's weaknesses.

You deserve way more than the potential 15-year prison sentence. You deserve to be tortured on the daily. In a world where women historically have to work harder and smarter and fight for their place, you take advantage of your own gender-- and lure these victims into their own personal hell. Hope on day one of your prison stay you suffer multiple paper cuts, have salt thrown into your wounds, then you meet a couple of nice gals that don't take kindly to helping a rapist.

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#1 LORI LOUGHLIN

Congrats for being off our slapping radar to making the list for a third time this year! It's never been more fun slapping a celebrity-next-door like you! Especially since you and your hubs have been living-it-up on the town, all smiles despite your shady, bribing, cheating ways.

The latest? Aunt Becky's gettin' all gangsta. She ain't takin' no plea deal like Felicity Huffman did. Oh, no! She's going the distance. And with an additional charge of money laundering, it seems your family may be into more than designing fashion. Damn! According to the latest indictment the couple:

"... conspired to launder bribes and other payments in furtherance of the fraud by funneling them through (Rick) Singer's purported charity and his for-profit corporation, as well as by transferring money into the United States, from outside the United States, for the purpose of promoting the fraud scheme."

Rick Singer has admitted his role as the ringleader of the scam and has pleaded guilty. Get a load of this little tap-wired convo between singer and Lori:

"They're always worried about things going on in foundations." - Singer
"I see. So we, so we just, so we just have to say we made a donation to your foundation and that's it, end of story." - Lori

Here's the end of your story. No more fame. Just infamy. And some time in a cell. And this bitch slap, for one big, privileged bitch.

Magic-Less

4/27/2018

Offenders for the week ending April 27, 2018:

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#3 CHANNING TATUM

You've heard the saying:

"Birds of a feather flock together"

So why are you hanging out with former The Bachelor contestant Arie Luyendyk Jr.? Unless you, too, are a raging douchebag tampon junkie. Sure, it's cool to hang out at a racetrack with the former race car driver. Pick someone cooler! It's bad enough people are talking smack about your impending divorce. Why add fuel to the fire? Stop making bad decisions.

Just because you're unattached doesn't mean you need to behave like a dumbass frat boy.

Just. No.

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#2 THE KARDASHIANS

Such entre-manures these gals are! In a complete violation of proper business practices, the sloppy sisters announced publicly that they'd be closing the doors on their Dash boutique. This little gem came as quite the surprise to employees, who found out about the pending closure via social media. #FAIL

Kim K released this written-for-her statement:

"After nearly 12 years, my sisters and I have decided to close the doors of our Dash stores. We've loved running Dash, but in the last few years we've all grown so much individually. We've been busy running our own brands, as well as being moms and balancing work with our families. We know in our hearts that it's time to move on."

Too bad these broads can't close their legs like they're closing their shop doors.

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#1 ALLISON MACK

Let's get this out of the way right off the bat. You're the biggest piece of lowlife piece of ass vomit that's ever existed. For those of you unfamiliar, the Smallville actress is accused of being the lieutenant of the NXIVM sex-cult. This cult masquerades as a "self-help" organization meant to empower women.

So disgusting. The members of this group were told to starve themselves to achieve a standard of beauty and to have sexual encounters with the leader. Mack's "sweet girl" persona was the perfect lure. So many reports that she tried to recruit fellow actresses while at auditions, harassing them by email.

It's even more repulsive that a judge let her out on a $5 million bond. This pube rag should be behind bars until her trial. It's apparent she's a scheme-master and can't be trusted.

We need to stop taking advantage of one another. And I think we should use you as an example. Set this bitch on fire on live TV and be done with it.

What a Lovehole

Gangsta Becks

Magic-Less

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