Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior - Haus of V

A Boy With No Name

10/7/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending October 7th, 2022:

#3-#1 KYLIE JENNER

I mean why not just slap a Jenner? Especially when you can't name your kid. When Kylie and Travis Scott welcomed their bouncing baby boy into the world, they initially named him "Wolf". But then they changed their mind. Even though the two had 9 months to decide on a name, they didn't. And when the hospital pressured them for a name, they spat out "Wolf". Why? Kylie said:

"I liked the WW,” (Scott's real last name is Webster). Right after I signed the birth certificate I was like, ‘What did I just do?’”

They haven't legally changed his name yet because they can't decide. They're waiting for the child to "name himself." Which is supposed to be a joke, but I'm thinking it's actually not because look at his parents. Please. Stick with Wolf. It's a badass name. If your child starts calling himself Shithead, is that going to be his name? You could always change the pronunciation to Shuh-thee-d.

Marooned in Your DMs

9/23/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending September 23rd, 2022:

#3, #2, #1 ADAM LEVINE

Shall we call him Levine The Ween? Cuz this dude's slayin' in the streets as much as possible. At least, attempting to. An Insta model spilled some piping hot tea this week about her affair with the married-with-another-baby-on-the-way frontman from Maroon 5.

Summer Stroh (or should we name her "Stroke") said she was under the impression that Levine was no longer coupled, and that she and he had been

“seeing each other for about a year”

Adam says that's not true:

“A lot is being said about me right now and I want to clear the air. I used poor judgment in speaking with anyone other than my wife in ANY kind of flirtatious manner. I did not have an affair, nevertheless, I crossed the line during a regrettable period in my life. My wife and my family is all I care about in this world. To be this naive and stupid enough to risk the only thing that truly matters to me was the greatest mistake I could ever make. I will never make it again. I take full responsibility. We will get through it. And we will get through it together."

"Regrettable" cuz you done did got caught.

Oh, but there's more!

It appears he's chronically ill with "poor judgement". Several other women have come forth with claims of flirty messages from A-damn. Some of these messages include:

"Distract yourself by f****** with me!" "I shouldn't be talking to you you know (right)?"

His wife-- Victoria's Secret model Behati Prinsloo-- is shattered. But, they're working on their relationship. And, again, she's pregnant with their third child.

Not surprised by any of this. Especially when you have a song called "Sugar"-- which, apparently, you've got quite the sweet tooth. Or this gem from the archives, a 2009 interview in Cosmo mag:

“Instinctively, monogamy is not in our genetic makeup. People cheat. I have cheated. And you know what? There is nothing worse than the feeling of doing it."

And yet, you still continue. Must not feel too bad, huh? Hope your wife slaps a tattoo off your ass.

Liar, Liar, Pants... Off

9/16/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending September 16th, 2022:

#3 MEGHAN KING AND JIM EDMONDS

I don't know how these two ever fell in love and got married considering how toxic they are. Like, toxic waste dumps are amateur compared to these two. Meghs has gotten a temporary restraining order against her ex-hubby, Jim, after claiming he's been verbally abusing her over their child custody agreement. She claims he's been a complete dbag in texts messages, and through an app they use to co-parent.

I remember when she was a Real Housewife of Orange County. They spent a lot of time apart, and all she wanted was kids-- which he had with other ex wives and did not want any more. Well, she convinced him, and methinks he's still pissed. Of course, Meghs is no angel. She's recently divorced or annulled from her blink-of-an-eye marriage to President Biden's nephew. I think his name was Cuffe, or Curfew.

Perhaps either Meghan or Jim should exit the planet.

#2 ANGELINA JOLIE

What a scheming bish! It's been revealed that she's the one that leaked the news that she was hooking up with Brad Pitt-- while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston. All the tea is being spilled in Rolling Stone co-founder Jann Wenner's upcoming memoir. He says:

"... the tipster was Angelina."

Brangelina were shaggin' at a resort in Africa when photogs knew exactly where to find them. She gave specific details to their daily walks and shared places photographers could "secretly" snap a pic of them.

So things have turned out well? Nope.

#1 KRIS JENNER

The infamous momager took a lie detector test on the Late Late Show with James Corden to once-and-for-all stop the nasty rumor that she brokered the deal for the Kim K/Ray J sex tape that made the Kardshians a worldwide scourge. She passed the test. And Ray J is livid. Because he's trying to get away from all that now that he's a father-- which he takes very seriously.

Bethenny Frankel took to social media, on Ray J's side:

"This poor guy finally cracked because he’s gotta explain to his kids why he looks like he exploited someone else and why he’s left holding the bag.”

Bethenny claims that friends of Kris told her that Jenner hired hair and makeup pros to make sure Kim looked her best.

Gross. But I totally believe it. Sex sells. It always will. Even if it means selling your daughter.

Black (Eye) Keys

8/19/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending August 19th, 2022:

#3, #2, #1 PATRICK CARNEY

Doing the hometown proud, aren't ya? This fool-- who is only bangable because he's a musician-- cheats (allegedly) on his wife-- fellow musician Michelle Branch-- then calls police when she slapped him across the face. No visible marks, but she's facing a DV charge because you can't handle your business. Apparently, you've letting your business get handled while your wife is at home nursing a 6-month-old. This all came out after Michelle posted on her socials:

"To say that I am totally devastated doesn't even come close to describing how I feel for myself and for my family. The rug has been completely pulled from underneath me and now I must figure out how to move forward. With such small children, I ask for privacy and kindness."

Then, she filed for divorce:

"... the parties are no longer capable of resuming their marital relationship and living together as husband and wife."

The two had been married for 3-years. In addition to the 6-month-old, they have a 4-year-old.

Just because you can snatch all the cookies, doesn't mean you should. Gross. You're lucky she didn't divorce your twig-n-berries from your body.

Wild, Wild, West

8/12/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 12th, 2022:

#3 VICTORIA BECKHAM

It's all joy and bliss when you get engaged and are planning your wedding. What may not be blissful is any tension amongst your new family members. Nicola Peltz is Victoria's new daughter-in-law. She posted a teary-eyed selfie on the Insa with the caption:

“We all have days where people make you feel bad and it’s okay to be hurt by it."

According to sources, the two aren't getting along because Nicola didn't want Vickie's input when it came to the wedding planning. Now, this petty drama has become a "thing" which is just stupid. Now, Victoria and David haven't had much contact with their son because of this dramz.

As a wiser woman, you need to know your place and be the bigger person in a situation like this. She is a part of the family, and you need to let things slide. Any bride wants to plan the wedding she wants. Show some grace. Be as classy as your style.

#2 TERESA GUIDICE, JOE & MELISSA GORGA, Castmembers/Real Housewives of New Jersey

This hot mess family will always remain messy. Teresa got married to her newest money succubus and her bro and sister-in-law backed out of attending. And now the fight is on! The Gorgas RSVPed "yes" to the lavish nuptials, but because Teresa has been spreading rumors that her SIL is letting her legs flop open, the couple decided to no-show. And Teresa is seething. She supposedly sent a bill to them demanding reimbursement.

"Meals at Park Chateau Estates and Gardens are not cheap. It’s rude to say ‘yes,’ and then change your mind in the 11th hour. This stuff isn’t refundable. Teresa got stuck with the check and to make matters worse, Joe and Melissa didn’t even send her a gift."

EGADS! It's happened to me. It's a part of doing wedding business.

An insider, though, has the Gorga's backs:

"They're not going to celebrate Teresa's new marriage when all she does is try to tear apart theirs. It's telling that Teresa didn't have one relative at her wedding. But that's the choice Teresa made."

This family deserves each other in so many ways. Being rich and famous doesn't make you a better person. It many times makes someone a bigger asshat.

#1 KANYE WEST

As always happens, the Pete Davidson flame burns bright and hot and strong, and then-- POOF-- goes out. It's over between Pete and Kim Kardashian, and her soon-to-be-ex-husband couldn't be more thrilled. So much so, that he resorted to his usual childish, bullying behavior by going public with his glee. He posted a meme, a mock-up New York Times front-page headline that said: "Skete Davidson Dead At Age 28".

Kim was pissed, to say the least. And she wants it known that she is not reconciling with the father of her children:

“She’ll never get back with Kanye over the way he’s treated the people she loves and respects."

Even Kanye's fans are asking him to just stop. As for the Kim-Pete split, it was first reported that the reason was because he wanted marriage and she didn't, plus the age gap (she's 41, he's 28), but maybe it's mostly because of Ye. A source says:

"Pete's been in trauma therapy since April - and it's all about Kanye's online abuse. The attention and negativity coming from Kanye and his antics is a trigger for [Pete], and he's had to seek out help."

Yet cancel culture ain't coming for this guy.

Kanye West is a brat
He doesn't know where it's at
When his ego gets hurt
His large mouth will squirt
Vile and venom
Put your head back up your rectum
Where it belongs
You warted schlong

Will-Full (of it)

8/5/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 5th, 2022:

#3 JOJO SIWA

It's so cute when celebrities fight. Grab the popcorn because public pettiness is a great form of entertainment. JoJo, who I think is famous from some reality TV show, is feuding with Candace Cameron Bure. It all started when JoJo was asked on a podcast who was the rudest star, and she said Candace. Why, because Candace didn't take a picture with her at the Fuller House premiere. So, Candace responded with a Bible verse. Then her daughter said something, and then JoJo's mom got involved...and the ultimate who-gives-a-f*ck social media catfight began. Now, JoJo's momma is saying:

“Real, genuine kindness always goes a long way. It’s super easy to quote a Bible verse when everyone is looking at you but morals are what you have when no one is looking.”

True. But all people have bad moments. And maybe, just maybe-- your daughter is a bit asshat-y. The reason she's getting slapped? I would never answer the question "who's the rudest celebrity you've ever met?" Because true rude people are known. No need to keep spreading hate. The reason she's probs the rudes to JoJo? Their belief systems do not align.

#realtalk

#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

This bish. Not only does she peddle bullsh*t products and "health" practices, but apparently-- she's got it tough. Check that. Her children do. I know, pass the Kleenex. Not. She said it's really hard for celeb kids because they have to work harder because they're privileged.

"As the child of someone, you get access other people don't have, so the playing field is not level in that way. However, I really do feel that once your foot is in the door, which you unfairly got in, then you almost have to work twice as hard and be twice as good. Because people are ready to pull you down.”

Cue the violins.

The reason why it's tough for your kids is one is named Apple and the other is Moses.

One's a fruit, and the other's on a mountain waiting for you to STFU so he can come back down.

#1 WILL SMITH

Just when you thought "the slap" would go away. It won't. Because Will won't stop addressing it. Will took to social media to apologize to Chris Rock. Though he hasn't done it personally to Chris, because Chris isn't ready. So, Will said "sorry" to Chris' mom, his family, and Tony.

"There’s no part of me that thinks that’s the optimal way to handle a feeling of disrespect or insults... If you hang on, I promise we’ll be able to be friends again.”

Yes. Because we used to hang out at Swenson's and then go home and braid each other's hair. Stop it! Why go public? Need to push an upcoming movie? Zip your lip until you actually speak to your victim first. Which he is not interested in doing. In fact, Chris addressed it on stage this way:

“Everybody is trying to be a f—ing victim. If everybody claims to be a victim, then nobody will hear the real victims. Even me getting smacked by Suge Smith … I went to work the next day, I got kids. Anyone who says words hurt has never been punched in the face.”

For the record, Will said that Jada made him apologize publicly. Which is only fitting since her death stare is what got everyone in this situation in the first place.

Please take your midlife crisis off of social media. Jada needs you to rub her feet.

Non-Sense

7/29/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 29th, 2022:

#3 NICK CANNON

Super Sperm Shooter Nick welcomed his 8th baby this week. His. Eighth. Congrats! It is a happy occasion for Nick, considering he lost a child earlier this year. But... let's talk about your going all Biblical and being fruitful and multiplying. Nowhere in the Good Book does it say "Nick. Go bang a bunch of ladies cuz the planet Earth needs you."

At first, Nick had publicly stated that his large children count is because of his baby mommas (multiple) making the decision to have his children. He said it was on therm. Then, he changed his tune, saying that the situation is more like "consensual non-monogamy."

Pfft. More like: "I'm a manho with an ego."

Hey, dumbass. It's called 18-years of you paying up, sucka!

Sure, these women want to be moms. And they want to be paid. So, you best keep working your ass off to pay for 8 children (or more) for a long time.

#2 LORI LOUGHLIN

"Aunt Becky" says life has been so strange since she got out of prison for her part in the Varsity Blues Scandal. You know, where she bribed and lied her daughter Jade's way into college. It's so hard that people thought she was a complete bitchbag for doing what she did. But everyone has been so kind now that she's on her mea culpa tour. She recently made her first public appearance at the "Lead With Love 3" telethon for the charity that helps combat food insecurity. She said:

"(the group)... welcomed me with such open arms at a time when I was feeling particularly down and broken."

Yes, two whole months in a cushy prison was soooo hard. Thing is, you're still rich. You get to go back making your stupid Hallmark movies. And your stupider daughter not only never wanted to go to college, but makes bank being an influencer. This is why the world is one step away from being Hell. Which you can go to anytime.

#1 BEN DREYFUSS

This son of... Richard is everything you hate about the offspring of the rich and famous. He felt the need to open his mouth and tweet about that one time he paid a drug addict $50 so that he could be hunted through the woods like some brokedown Hunger Games. But it's cool, because he was using a paintball gun. Who in the af are you, dude? Seriously. You think it's great sport to torture and humiliate human beings who are in a bad place, who don't have your privelege, and who could use compassion and the opportunities your wealth can afford.

What's even worse? When people called him out for his tweet, he in turn called them "little babies." Then, he tried to play it cool, like nothing was offensive about the situation.

Pieces of sh*t come from all walks of life. This is why some animals eat their young.

Ben(d) over. I've got a place for you to stick that $50.

Bullseye

7/22/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 22nd, 2022:

#3 KYLIE JENNER

The privileged folk continue to trigger the poor folk 24/7. Kyle is being labeled a "climate criminal" for a social media post with Travis Scott involving his & hers private jets. So, she tried to make it all better by posting a picture of herself pushing her daughter and nieces in a shopping cart at Target. Well, that just made things worse. Some commented:

"Did u rent out Target for this”
“playing normal life simulator”
“trying to appeal to us peasants”
“out of touch"

Yes, she's out of touch. But I'm slapping Kylie not because of her wealth, but because she tried to downplay it. Girl, you have "eff you" money. Don't pretend like you're one of us going to Target. BUY the damn Target!.

And remember to bow down to Kim's golden jay jay every night, or you'd probably be working at Target.

#2 MEGHAN KING, former reality TV star and current, perpetual idiot

This bish gives dingbats a bad name. At least dingbats are mostly lovable. This one is just... extra dumb. You may not recall, but she married Prez Biden's nephew, Cuffe Biden Owens for, like, two seconds last year after they dated for four seconds. During a recent podcast interview, Mizz Dingbat said it wasn't her idea to get married in the first place, and that she was confused:

“I was very confused by the whole [relationship], but I’m just glad that it was short and sweet and it’s done and it’s annulled.”

She said marriage was important to Cuffe, and that she wants everyone to be happy, so... she said "I do."

The f&ck?

This was her second marriage. And now she's dating again. Please, don't tie the knot again. Unless that knot is connected to a cinder block that will sink to the bottom of the ocean.

#1 CHRIS BROWN

No, Chris didn't make the list because he smacked somebody around (for once.) He's made the list because not only is he a beater, he's a cheater, too-- as in rip-off artist. LeJuan Bailey is accusing the singer of taking a $1.1-million performance fee for a hurricane benefit concert that he never showed up to perform. He claims that Chris accepted the wire transfer, then peaced-out at the last minute. He said:

“I acted in good faith and sponsored this concert out of love and respect for residents in need. I am appalled that Chris Brown refuses to refund my money for a show he did not appear to after we announced our show and sold tickets. At this point, it is my humble belief that Chris Brown’s actions are parallel to pure theft. He has the unmitigated gall to take my money, stand up the residents of Houston, then return to the city to perform on August 17, 2022.”

Straight up!

Not surprising, honestly.

P.S. Shame on you, LeJuan, for even wanting to pay this guy money to perform at your event. He's a known POS. And you giving him a stage gives him more false hope that he's not a mega turdball. So, mini-slap for you.

Popped

6/24/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending June 24th, 2022:

#3 BRANDON BLACKSTOCK

Breaking up is hard to do. Especially when your soon-to-be ex is a succubus. I always had a vomit-a-little-in-my-mouth feeling when Kelly Clarkson married one of her managers. I felt like he was more interested in her assets than her ass. And guess what? Yup! After a few years of marriage, the two split during the lockdown. And then he wanted so much of her money in the divorce. A source says:

"He's a constant thorn in her side."

No sh&t! With a $115,000 per month in spousal support until 2024, yes, that's a whole damn rosebush of thorns! Some good news, Mr. Dickstock finally moved out of Kelly's ranch in Montana. It only took two years.

But she still has to pay child support to him for the one weekend per month that he gets the two kids. That's costing her $45,601 per month.

P.S. I wonder if she thinks of her douchebag ex when she sings "Since You've Been Gone"?

#2 PAUL HAGGIS

Being in any aspect of the entertainment business is like swimming in toxic waste. So many unsavory characters looking to feast on prey. Guess this Oscar-award winning actor needs added to the list. He's been arrested in Ostuni, Italy on charges of sexual assault and aggravated personal injury. A woman is accusing him of forcing her to have sex with him over the course of two days. Two. Days?

His attorney says he's not a rape-r:

"I am confident that all allegations will be dismissed against Mr. Haggis. He is totally innocent and willing to fully cooperate with the authorities so the truth comes out quickly.”

Okay. Side note: Haggard was sued in 2018 by a woman alleging he had violently raped her in her New York apartment in 2013. Three more women came forward with different allegations.

With a name like "haggis," this dude was destined to be problematic.

#1 BILL COSBY

Pay up, sucka!

Judy Huth has won her civil suit against this ass hat for sexually assaulting her at the Playboy Mansion in 1975 when she was just 16-years-old. She was awarded $500,000 in damages.

Of course, Cospuke's attorney felt this was all a pile of crap"

“(It's a) 50-year-old, he-said-she-said case.”

And this is why so many sexual assaults do not make it to charges.

There aren't enough slaps in the world for this creep. Ever.

Summer of Not George

6/17/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending June 17th, 2022:

#3 JOHNNY DEPP & AMBER HEARD

You two are less-than-stellar individuals that were each "victims" of your own toxicity. Please. Go. Away. And Amber-- stop going on TV to talk about your sh*t. Literally. Your dog stepped on a bee...

#2 SHANNA MOAKLER

Travis Barker's hot-mess-express-ex has been accused of being a craptastic parent, and now Shanna haters have shown the receipts from old MySpace posts on Shanna's page spilling the tea.

He divorced her lameness over multiple incidents of this behavior:

Travis would many times wake up at 5:30 am to care for their young children. Okay. So that's called parenting. But there's more. He got up at the butt crack of dawn because Shanna was sleeping-off her party-girl night. She'd sleep until 2 pm, leave with her assistant to get her nails done, then go back out to the clubs until after 3 am. And then she'd be all bent at Travis:

“... drunk, loud cursing because she hates my friends, hates my bands, my work, hates me.”

FYI: The kids-- who are now teens-- have also publicly criticized their mother's parenting.

#1 JASON ALEXANDER

No. Not the Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame. He's not a tool like this Jason-- ex-husband #1 of Britney Spears. Jason's first claim to fame was being married to Britney for 55 hours last decade. His second claim to fame? Trying to crash and livestream Britney's wedding to Sam Ashgari. At their house. Bad move. He's charged with three misdemeanor counts of trespassing and refusing to leave private property, and felony stalking. Which all means he could get three years in prison.

He probably needs the 3 meals a day and some companionship, because who the f*ck cares about this dude.

You're a special kind of toolbag for trying to inject yourself into someone from your past. Seriously. Let her be, you stupid redneck ass pimple.