Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior - Haus of V

Evicted From the Universe

2/21/2020

Offenders for the week ending 02/21/20:

It's a rare occurrence when the slap list can be devoted to one individual...

#3, #2, #1 WENDY WILLIAMS

I don't know how she rose to prominence, but it's time for a cancellation. Please! First of all, she offended the LGBTQ community by ranting about how "gays" are trying to steal Galentine's Day away from the ladies. In case you were unaware, Galentine's Day is an official holiday on 2/13 for ladies to celebrate not being coupled. When Windbag goes out to celebrate, she doesn't want to see anyone with a ween partaking!

"You're not even a part of this. You don't understand the rules of the day. It's women going out and getting saucy and then going home.. And stop wearing our skits and our heels. Gay men, you'll never be the women that we are. No matter how gay."

Uhmmmm.... forget how to "human", have we? But it's all good (Not really). Wendy has "apologized' via her IG:

"I'm 55 years old and maybe I sounded like your auntie, your mother, your big sister or somebody out of touch. I'm not out of touch except for perhaps by saying what I said. I deeply apologize and I deeply appreciate the support I get from the community. I will do better."

Nice try. Because on that apology video, she sounded quite insincere. More like "sorry not sorry".

Secondly-- a few days later, Wendy flubbed again on her show. This time about the death of Drew Carey's ex-fiancee-- Hollywood therapist Amie Harwick. She explained that Harwick fell from a three-story balcony to her death. Authorities believed she was pushed. Ex-boyfriend Gareth Pursehouse has been charged. But Wendy had to clarify that Harwick was not "killed not by Drew" (no one thought that to be the case...) And then she rambled on some more and wrapped her drivel by saying:

"Come on down!"

The audience fell silent. Hello, awkward, as Wendy looked up and down with her eyes while being oh-so-funny using The Price Is Right catchphrase. Drew wasn't involved, yet you throw that out there? And this poor woman was flung to her death by a psycho ex!

Can we throw this stupid POS off the planet?

Slap-entine's Day

2/14/2020

Offenders for the week ending February 14, 2020:

#3 GAYLE KING

Gayle "went" there and CBS "went" there for ratings... Gayle had a TV sit-down with WNBA star Lisa Leslie-- a good friend of the late Kobe Bryant. They chatted about stuff... and then the rape allegation Kobe faced years ago (which was dismissed) came up via direct question. Gayle asked how Lisa felt about it. She awkwardly replied that such a crime would be out of character for Kobe and that he never acted inappropriately around her. Gayle countered with the notion that Lisa wouldn't know, because they were friends. Lisa said Gayle had a number of years to ask Kobe herself, so...

Boom!

Yes, CBS admitted to exploiting one section of that interview. But, Gayle, you went there in the first place. I guess that's your job (?) Time and place for everything, right?

#2 PRESLEY GERBER

Tattoos can be works of art. No longer is there a stigma associated with tats. Mostly. Cuz face tattoos are just... extra. Former supermodel (and still supermodel-esque) Cindy Crawford's 19-year-old son-- who is equally gorg-- had the word "MISUNDERSTOOD" inked on his right face cheek. Well, this has left all of social media wondering "What misunderstanding?"

"Are you really that misunderstood? Having all the money at your disposal is never a good thing in life. You must be so bored."

Presely wasn't havin' any hate:

"If I thought this was going to ruin my face or I didn't want this, I wouldn't have done it. I think that's a pretty obvious thing."

Uhmmm.... it's obvious you're 19 and 19-year-olds are not always the clearest of thinkers. But hey. We support your looking like a complete dickwad when you're 70 with your saggy face tat.

Comprende?

#1 PAMELA ANDERSON

Throughout history, straight men have fallen victim to the wiles of women. If you thought Pammy's marriage to fourth victim, er, hubby Jon Peters was a little quick (lasted 12 days) even by Hollywood standards, well.... There's a good reason. Jon served his purpose.

For decades, Jon has been in L.O.V.E. with Pam. She dismissed him because of their large age difference. But one day, she proposed to the Hollywood producer. Via text. He said "Yes"-- even though he was engaged at the time to another woman who was getting set to move in with him. He said:

"It was kind of a dream come true, even though I was engaged to someone else..."

They tied the knot, and then the 74-year-old paid off her $200,000 in debt. And then, it was over.

Sad, yet well played. But that's not all. Now, Pam is tryin' to spin it...

"We are all getting our share in this crazy world. As long as we are wrestling we are alive. As long as we recognize insanity we are sane. It's better to be betrayed than not to trust, better to be disappointed than not to love. Don't ever run from pain, just face it allow it to be and it will pass. And we will have grown to the next level."

What? Girl, bye.

Days of Whose Lives

2/7/2020

Offenders for the week ending February 7th, 2020:

#3 MIKE CAUSSIN

Sometimes I think *things* become excuses for people who can control themselves, but don't. "Sex addiction" became a big (or little, wink wink) thing after Tiger Woods was busted back-in-the-day for bagging all those THOTs. Then some other celebs checked themselves into sex-addiction rehab. Now, former NFL player Mike Caussin said he "broke a marriage boundary" with his wife, Jana Kramer (formerly of One Tree Hill.) But there was no physical cheating:

"There was a boundary that was broken that was harmful for me because it was a discovery..."

Ohhhhkaaaayyyy. The two wed in 2015, then split in 2016 after Caussin cheated on his wife with multiple women. They renewed their vows in 2017, but...

So I guess the only way to cure your addiction is to padlock your pants, and maybe gouge your eyes out.

#2 MEGHAN KING EDMONDS

She was always mildly annoying when she was a castmember of the Real Housewives of Orange County. But now she's extra after dumping all her baggage on us. It wasn't surprising when her marriage to baseball semi-legend Jim Edmonds didn't work out, but all the tea she's been spilling about her sexy time, and his dalliances with other women, well... wow! She's getting closer to dipping her manicured toe into the dating pool again, and if so-- she has standards:

"I'm not really into dating a guy with kids. I love kids and I loved being a stepmom, but it's a lot of baggage... kids are a lifelong commitment and you didn't have any input into creating this child and it's hard."

Waaaaaaa! She does admit that a man with kids would understand what she's going through because he has kids. Duh! Meghan has three kids herself. I know women who have kids who don't want to date others with kids. I get it. But girlfriend, you're the queen of baggage. Just change your name to Samsonite and embrace that shizz.

#1 COSMO MAGAZINE

Peter Weber is the latest Bachelor. He and contestant Victoria Fuller were set to do the cover of the magazine when it was pulled. Why? Because Victoria did a photo shoot wearing gear saying: "White Lives Matter."

Well, we know what that's all about! Victoria is a racist. Or is she? "White Lives Matter" is for the Marlin Lives Matter organization focusing on the prevention of white and blue marlin from being over-fished. They also use the "Blue Lives Matter" messaging. But I guess Blue Man Group isn't pissed, so... Cosmo said:

'... the nature of the organization does not reflect the values of the Cosmo brand. We stand in solidarity with Black Lives Matter, and any cause that fights to end injustices for people of color."

Awesome. But Victoria wasn't being a racist. And you know that. And this is why hyper-sensitivity needs to stop. You had the perfect opportunity to say something like:

"We understand and support the Black Lives Matter movement. But upon further investigation, we realized that there was a misunderstanding. We'll just continue to sell sex, er... empower women and stuff.. " Blah, blah, blah. But noooo. Cave. Instead of inform.

But what about the damned marlins?

Daddy Dearest

1/31/2020

Offenders for the week ending January 31st, 2020:

#3 JOY BEHAR

While there are times I question why Joy Behar exists, I'm glad she does because she's great fodder for the The Slap. She makes the list this week for her seemingly racially-toned comment about Whoopi Goldberg's hair.

Patrick Stewart was a guest on The View, and he invited Whoopi to be a part of the new Star Trek series. To which Joy quipped:

"I just said to him, 'Does she have to take the hair thing off?'"

While tugging on one of Whoopi's dreads. Can someone offer Joy a role off this planet? Please?

#2 KATHARINE MCPHEE

I understand self-deprecation. I'm good at it. But Kat took self-deprecation to a new level. She must've decided she needed some social media attention, so she tweeted that she actually won more Grammys than Billie Eilish did Sunday night-- by default.

"Everyone who keeps saying Billie Eilish walked away with the most Grammys must not remember I won 16 by marriage this past summer."

HA HA HA! What? McPeePee married 16-time Grampa, er, Grammy winner David Foster last June. So, by marriage she's a winner. Girl, that makes you sound like some let-me-wear-my-pearls-while-I-make-your-dinner 50's housewife b.s. Yes, you share everything when married. But... go get your own damned Grammy!

#1 THOMAS MARKLE

Never will this man win Dad of The Year. Because he refuses to STFU about his daughter, Meghan. She has asked him to stop going public in regards to her. But, noooo. This hiney cyst just keeps talking. And talking. He claims it's the only way he can get through to his beloved girl.

"There's no other way to reach her."

Dumbass says he's going to do a new interview every 30 days until he gets a response from Meghan.

Really? I'm sure there are better ways to get a response. Have you tried the phone call/text/letter/in-person chat? Maybe there's a compelling reason for her lack of communication with you. Like, saying publicly that you were disappointed in her behavior in regards to her royal ramp-down. And you've basically blamed her for Yoko-ing the royal family. So, there's that.

The next communication you may get is from a lawyer. One of my problems with you is-- what are your true intentions? Methinks you really don't want to talk to your daughter. You're just gonna talk to the media because they pay you to talk to them. And it's all about the money. Or, you want a relationship with her so you can get the dirt and sell it to the media.

Nice try, Daddy Dickhead.

Greybar Full House

1/24/2020

Offenders for the week ending January 24th, 2020:

After a holiday and illness hiatus, the slap hand is ready to get back to work!

#3 LORI LOUGHLIN

From "I'm sooo innocent" to, I need to protect my azz, Aunt Becky's getting ready for prison life. According to an insider:

"She's knuckling down, learning the lingo and practicing martial arts to give off the impression she's tough and to ward off potential bullies... Besides the physical training, she's getting lots of advice from prison professors on how to earn one's keep behind bars."

She best learn how to trade smokes and commissary privileges for a good night's sleep. Or get her scissor skills down. Oh, but she and the hubs are innocent of conspiracy to commit mail fraud, honest services fraud, money laundering, and federal programs bribery.

#2 SHAMIN ABAS

Who? Yeah. She's not really famous. But she's infamous now-- seeing that she's Matt Lauer's new GF. WTF? A person close to the situation offered this gem:

"She knows who he is. She's thrilled she's with him. She doesn't seem to have a care in the word."

Guess she's Camille Cosby in the making. You know-- all denial-turn-a-blind-eye to what their asshat men are up to. Supposedly, this wannabe Mrs. is a public relations chick and longtime friend of Matt and his ex-wife Annette Roque. Oh, she looks like Annette's twin by the way. Not creepy af. Oh, and there's this tidbit-- Charmin and Matt were linked romantically in 2005. Matt was married to Annette at the time. So, she's just as skeevy as Lower.

May your Venus Fly Snatch forever enjoy the beef jerky that is your lover...

#1 WENDY WILLIAMS

Why is this wenchbag wealthy and famous? And who watches her damned talk show? Her mere existence is offensive, but this time around she has offended those that have/had a cleft lip. Recently on her show, she was explaining how she was strangely attracted to Joaquin Phoenix calling him "oddly attractive". She loves his "piercing eyes", and then critiqued a scar on his upper lip. Then she said:

"He's got one of those-- what do you call it? Cleft lip, cleft palate."

She then hooked her finger under her lip, mimicking a cleft lip.

Needless to say, a lot of folk were fired up. When are people going to learn? But she said she's sorry and donated (allegedly) money to cleft lip causes. Because that will make it all better. We suggest she just disappear herself.

Finger Lickin' Good

12/6/2019

Offenders for the week ending December 6, 2019:

#3 JOE BIDEN

This has nothing to do with politics, but everything to do with bizzare-ness. While on a campaign stop, wife Jill was at the podium doing her talky-thing. Like many of us, she speaks with her hands. And apparently, her hands are delicious, because when she stretched out her hands, Joe leaned forward and nibbled on the tip of one of his wife's fingers.

She laughed it off. Does that mean it's happened before? He's into fingers? Perhaps she smelled of fried chicken? Had Cheetos residue on her fingers, so he was helping her out?

Or perhaps this was something you and your "butt buddy Neil" did back in your frat days. No judgement here...

#2 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

Why the hate for your stepmom Caitlyn Jenner? According to Caitlyn's memoir, the two haven't spoken much in the past six years. Was it because of Caitlyn's transitioning?

"I started (by telling) Brandon (Jenner) my son (when I was transitioning), and he said to me: 'Dad, I've always been so proud to be your son but I've never been more proud of you than right now."... I went through every kid and Khloe, for some reason, was pissed off about something through this whole process... We were really close, I raised her since she was five years old. I really don't know what her issues are."

It's sad, because most parents love their children no matter what. No matter if there are disappointments, or if they don't see eye-to-eye on something. Perhaps, Khloe, as a parent-- you can see things from the other's perspective. Surely over the course of your life thus far you've done something a parent would raise an eyebrow to (your marriages), but your parents still communicated with you.

Can't we all just get along? Life's too short.

#1 OLIVIA JADE

The daughter of disgraced actress Lori Loughlin and designer Mossimo Gianulli is baaaaack. Whew! All is right in the world! (note the sarcasm.) The non-college attendee/internet "star" is missing her adoring public.

"Obviously, I've been gone for a really long time and as much as I wish I could talk about all of this, it's really hard for me to say this, just because I know that it's something that needs to be addressed."

Deep.

By the way, her YouTube channel is all about clothing hauls and vlogs. Sure, she misses her "public." More like she's missing out on her endorsement cash and wants back in the influencer game. Poor, rich little brat. I'd be embarrassed to know that my parents think I'm so stupid they have to (allegedly) bribe and lie (allegedly) to get me into college...

Not What You Think

11/29/2019

Offenders for the week ending November 29, 2019:

#3 TERESA GUIDICE, Real Housewives of New Jersey reality TV star

You'd think that after going to jail for nearly 15 months for some shady money dealings, girlfriend would've learned to walk a straight line. She's been hit with a $13,000 tax lien. That's in addition to the $73,000 she owes the IRS. Surely fighting your hubby's deportation has been costly, but you still need to take care of business. The government takes its time in getting you that refund, but immediately wants the money you owe. Isn't Bravo paying you enough? And all that shilling you do on the social media?

Pay. Yo. Bills.

#2 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

WTF J.T.? Two-timing your wife, who says she's too sexy to get any acting jobs? Justin was spotted holding hands and getting schnuggie with Alisha Wainwright at a bar in New Orleans. The two are co-starring in the film Palmer. Sources say JT was a little crunk and was holding hands with Alisha for support. That's all. Mmmkay...

"Several cast members were there and it was just a cast gathering. Nothing remotely romantic is going on with Justin and Alisha. The whole cast is shooting out there and like to hang out together. They were very much in public and nothing inappropriate was happening."

Yeah. Not at the bar. Doth protest-eth too much...

So the leg-stroking on her part was an ancient hangover cure? Oh, and he must've left his wedding ring somewhere...

Guess he's vringin' SexyBack (to the back door?)

#1 BILL COSBY

For the record, he's not sorry for sexually assaulting Andrea Constand because he never did it-- therefore, no remorse. In his first jailhouse interview he said:

"That whole jury thing. They were impostors."

Okay. He believes jurors had already made up their minds before hearing testimony. Oh, and he believes he's going to serve all 10 years behind bars (he's 82) because the parole board is:

"... not going to hear me say that I have remorse."

So what you're saying is you're not the one who drugged a slew of women and assaulted them? Or are you saying someone else framed you by using your "pudding pop" to assault them. What a frame job. Pfffft. It's amazing how a P.O.S. can believe their own lies. And that includes your stupid, enabling, equally rape-y wife.

Yeezy & Skeezy

11/22/2019

Offenders for the week ending November 22, 2019:

#3 KANYE WEST

Though you've been in the line of slap fire many times, you're only getting a minimum one this time around. Your change of heart-- and soul-- and public proclamation of Faith has been surprising. And though you've been very public with your stumbling blocks to living a more Christ-like life, you are still Kanye...

While making an appearance and giving his testimony at Joel Osteen's church in Texas, Kanye declared that he is:

"... the greatest artist that God ever created."

Sigh.

#2 ANGELINA JOLIE

We all know you're a freak-a-leek, and that you have an interesting personality... but who knew how vindictive you are. Angie and Brad's children are put in the middle of their never-going-to-get-divorced situation. And now, Angie doesn't want Brad to ever see the kids.

"Brad's lost count of the times they haven't been available to see him on special occasions, like birthdays or holidays. On Halloween, Angie made no effort to organize any type of family get-together, so he had no access to the kids once again."

Why so bitter, bitch? You've accused Brad of drunkenness, abusive parenting, and a whole slew of things. Oh, and you said he forced you to get married. Really? You don't strike me as a chick who doesn't do what she doesn't want to. Hey, at least he didn't leave you for another woman like he did his first wife (Jennifer Anniston), you dirty little mistress...

But supposedly she's dating her next share-vials-of-blood-and-wear-on-our-necks victim....

#1 RAY J

Thanks, dude. Because of your sneaky secret filming of your "happy fun time" with Kim Kardashian back (door)-in-the-day we are infiltrated with Kardashians/Jenners. Apparently, being skeezy is your thing. Because your wife is throwing some massive oak tree shade your way.

Ray J posted a pic of himself, Princess Love (his pregnant wife), and their 18-month-old daughter from the BET Soul Train Music Awards in Vegas last weekend with the caption: "Thank you @bet. #SoulTrainAwards @princesslove @melodylovenorwood". Awwww turned into ohhhhh when Ms. Love posted back:

"Left me and Melody stranded in Vegas and blocked me from calling... now you wanna post family photos."

She added the LOL with tears emoji, so...

Momma said she had a car in Vegas but didn't want to drive back to Cali, all 8-months pregnant and with a toddler. I don't blame her. Unless this woman set your d*ck on fire, you have no reason to abandon her or your child.

Does the "J" in your name stand for "jerk", "jackass", "jagoff", "jackhole"?....

Unfollowed & Unforgiven

11/15/2019

Offenders for the week ending November 15, 2019:

#3 MILEY CYRUS

As well all know by now, Miley has split from her husband, Liam Hemsworth, moved on to some chick named Kaitlyn, and is now partnered with Cody Simpson. Yes, we're getting itchy just thinking about it. But this latest tidbit has landed The Virus back on the list. Miley was reportedly devastated when Liam unfollowed her on Instagram. Yup. Not the whole getting-divorced-is-crushing. A source said:

"She thought somehow they would find their way back to each other and she was holding onto that, but then Liam unfollowed her and that was his way of saying it's really done. Yeah, Liam is not turning back. After all that's been happening with her, she had been distracting herself from it all but now she is really feeling it. It's quite sad."

Boo-effin'-hoo. This is the same chick that took shots at her ex on social media, alluding to some alleged cheating on his part. Methinks now she was just getting back at him for the nasty, rude, heartless UNFOLLOW.

Perhaps you should be more concerned with who follows who in your coochie...

#2 ABC NEWS & JOEY BUTTAFUOCO

Like a pimple that keeps coming back, you'd think this insult to men and Italians world-round would've disappeared for good. But, no.... Thanks to ABC and its upcoming "Growing Up Buttafuoco" special, we get to re-live the infamous 1992 incident that was milked for TV movies, TV appearances, books, and more.

If you don't recall, 17-year-old Amy Fisher shot Joey's wife Mary Jo in the face in Long Island, New York. Butthead went to jail for six months for statutory rape of Amy. Meanwhile, Amy served time for attempted murder. And Mary Jo suffered from facial paralysis and ear damage from the attack.

With this special, we get to hear from Jessie Buttafuoco-- who was 9-years-old at the time of the attack. Like we really need her perspective?

First off, ABC-- out of ideas for stories? Especially since it's the 27th anniversary. Couldn't wait til the 30th anniversary.

Secondly, Buttaf*cko-- nobody wants to hear from you, nor feels sorry for your lack of wang control and skeevy ways.

P.S. I keep thinking of that SNL skit with Jan Hooks pronouncing Buttafuoco "Butt-uh-foo-oh-co...

#1 JIM EDMONDS

Who knew this former star baseball player was such a giant douchesniffer!?!? Guess his divorce to his current wife is getting extra ugly as he called police to question her ability to care for their kids after her girls' nite out.

Damn!

"Meghan came home from being out with friends and she had a couple glasses of wine. It was the first time Jim stayed at her house and put the kids to sleep since he filed for divorce, so she met up with friends. She didn't drive...She was washing her face when she heard someone knock around 10:30 pm. An officer was there with Jim and told her Jim said he was worried she couldn't care for the kids."

Meghan was deemed fit by officers. Meanwhile, put your bully bat away Jimmy. You filed for divorce. You want her out of your life.

Jim claimed he was just trying to "protect the situation." K. Didn't you mean, change-your-mind-and-spin-it? This from the guy with an inappropriate relationship with the nanny. This from the guy who sent inappropriate text messages to some rando. But they were non-"rooster" pics, allegedly. Who knows. Maybe at this point it looks like a dried-up drumstick from KFC, so...

Daddy Gyno

11/8/2019

Offenders for the week ending November 8, 2019:

#3 KYLIE JENNER & DRAKE

Love can be complicated. And messy. But when you have a connection with someone... Kylie thinks she and Drake are an item. A source said:

"Kylie and Drake's friendship did take a romantic turn recently. At his Halloween party, they were affectionate and clearly there together... He also showed up to Kendall's birthday."

A source close to Drake, though, said the two aren't an item. Perhaps just a rebound for Drake? Kylie, don't be that chick. And Drake, are you slump-busting after losing JLo?

#2 EMMA WATSON

I'm getting weary of people creating phrases for things and situations that already exist just to soften the blow of life or to protect one's precious, fragile psyche. I'm talking to you, Emma. She's single. And she's loving it. Wait. I didn't mean to use the word "single".

"I never believed the whole 'I'm happy single' spiel. I was like, 'This is totally spiel.' It took me a long time, but I'm very happy... I call it being self-partnered."

Sigh. Whatevs. It's still being SINGLE. Well, don't self-partner too long of you'll go blind...

#1 RAPPER T.I.

The rapper is beyond wanting dudes to "wrap it up" for safe sex. He's all about the I'm-taking-you-to-the-gyno method. He's catching a lot of heat on social media for revealing that he takes his daughter to the gyno every year after her birthday. He's been doing this since she turned 16. She's now 18. Hey-- he just wants to make sure the hy-hy is intact. Which he thinks ensures her virginity....

"Right after her birthday, we celebrate, then usually like the day after the party, she's enjoying the gifts, I put a sticky note on the door: 'Tomorrow. 9:30.'"

I. Can't. Even. Look, the thought of your little girl doing the deed and perhaps getting preggo or some disease is worrisome. What isn't cool, is taking your child to the doctor to be humiliated and most likely embarrassed about all things "southern hemisphere." Fortunately, she's 18. So technically, she doesn't need to tell you boo about her hoo hoo. Anyways, what were to happen if she "failed" the exam? You'd kick her out of the house? Cut her out of your will? Way to give someone a stigma...

We need to foster healthy convo about sex. Not this Handmaid's Tale let's-all-look-at-your-crotch b.s. What's the plan for the wedding? The good ol' Old World Tradition of showing everyone the bed sheet after she consummates her union?

I'm thinking T.I. stands for "Total Idiot".