Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
Offenders for the week ending January 21st, 2022:
#3 MEGAN FOX AND MACHINE GUN KELLY
No surprise these two are engaged. Megan shared the news via the IG:
"Somehow, a year and a half later, having walked through hell together, and having laughed more than I ever imagined possible, he asked me to marry him. And just as in every lifetime before this one, and as in every lifetime that will follow it, I said yes. And then we drank each other’s blood.”
The fuque!?!?! I don't get the fascination with the whole drinking-your-blood-means-we're-bonded-for-eternity thing. It doesn't. Blood means nothing. Ask Angelina and Billy Bob.
They drink each other's blood. They say their love is like a tsunami. Sigh. They've lasted a long time, by Hollywood standards. But will making things legal ruin it? And stop drinking blood. Y'all ain't from Twilight...
"Somehow, a year and a half later, having walked through hell together, and having laughed more than I ever imagined possible, he asked me to marry him. And just as in every lifetime before this one, and as in every lifetime that will follow it, I said yes. And then we drank each other’s blood.”
The fuque!?!?! I don't get the fascination with the whole drinking-your-blood-means-we're-bonded-for-eternity thing. It doesn't. Blood means nothing. Ask Angelina and Billy Bob.
They drink each other's blood. They say their love is like a tsunami. Sigh. They've lasted a long time, by Hollywood standards. But will making things legal ruin it? And stop drinking blood. Y'all ain't from Twilight...
#2 PRINCE ANDREW
Hope all that alleged underaged Epstein stripping down was worth it. Cuz the Queen Who Will Never Perish just stripped her hubs of his military titles and royal patronages. On top of that, he has to defend his civil lawsuit with his own coin. Lizzie is mad af!
No more official use of "His Royal Highness", but he can retain it for funsies. Can we give him the title of The Duke of Fossil F&ck?
Meanwhile, the Ministry of Defense is keeping his lip zipped. (Too bad Phillip didn't keep his pants zipped, allegedly). But Lt. Stuart Hunt had this to say:
"I'm just glad he's not associated with the military now. Whether he's guilty or not, he has brought things into disrepute... He's not fit to serve in an honorary rank. He has forgone that right by getting into this sort of situation.”
So proper, and so... ouch!
Wonder if Prince Andrew has a Prince Albert? Vurp.
No more official use of "His Royal Highness", but he can retain it for funsies. Can we give him the title of The Duke of Fossil F&ck?
Meanwhile, the Ministry of Defense is keeping his lip zipped. (Too bad Phillip didn't keep his pants zipped, allegedly). But Lt. Stuart Hunt had this to say:
"I'm just glad he's not associated with the military now. Whether he's guilty or not, he has brought things into disrepute... He's not fit to serve in an honorary rank. He has forgone that right by getting into this sort of situation.”
So proper, and so... ouch!
Wonder if Prince Andrew has a Prince Albert? Vurp.
#1 LISA BONET
Girl, you've run out of good luck. After being married to that fine specimen, Lenny Kravitz, you then snagged some Jason Momoa. Only to divorce him, too. WTF? You're done with marrying awesome men. This dude found and restored the first car you ever owned as a surprise gift for you. This dude slept in a van while filming Game of Thrones-- his first big break in acting. And now that he's enjoying success and has opportunities to seize, you want to peace-out.
Lisa hinted at the pending break-up while guesting on a podcast:
“Definitely learning how to be authentically me, learning to be new, and following this invitation from the universe to step into this river of uncertainty. We’ve eliminated all this extra noise, and now it’s time to grow our roots deeper into our own values.”
What? You're a fool. The reason why the marriage of 4 years (after a total of 16 years together) fell apart? She didn't want to visit Jason on any of his movie sets.
Triple slap and a booby punch for you!
Lisa hinted at the pending break-up while guesting on a podcast:
“Definitely learning how to be authentically me, learning to be new, and following this invitation from the universe to step into this river of uncertainty. We’ve eliminated all this extra noise, and now it’s time to grow our roots deeper into our own values.”
What? You're a fool. The reason why the marriage of 4 years (after a total of 16 years together) fell apart? She didn't want to visit Jason on any of his movie sets.
Triple slap and a booby punch for you!
RSS Feed