Offenders for the week of January 12, 2015:
#3 JUSTIN BIEBER
OFFENSE: Dick-ish
The Dweebs had a chance encounter with Keith Richards while in the Turks & Caicos. Keith asked Justin: "Who the f&ck are you?" with Justin responding: "Who the f&ck are you!?!" Yeah. Our favorite eunuch had no idea who Keith Richards was/is. (Is he going to be thanked for discovering fresh, new talent like Kayne did? LOL) Keith & Justin proceed to imbibe, with Keith calling Beebs a "wannabee". Burrrrrn! He speaks the truth. Justin desperately wants to be a relevant male. Sadly, this sack pimple isn't worthy of carrying Keith's soiled undies after a bender. Maybe we'll get lucky and Keith will drunkenly mistake Justin for a joint and smoke him. Puff, puff, poof-- he's gone!
#2 MILEY CYRUS
OFFENSE: Public-restroom-floor-dirty
Cyrus the Virus is baaaack! And, she's nekkid! YAWN... In some spread (which she's used to doing) for some magazine, she snapped a series of "risque" photos. You done been there and done that. Your next predictable step is to star in some beastiality porn. Wait. You've probably already rode your daddy. Look. There is nothing original or awesome about you. A better class of skanks can be found at the local Hot Tub Club. You're just a petri dish of ick.
P.S. Is it me, or does she look like a naked Justin Bieber?
#1 GWYNETH PALTROW
OFFENSE: Pretentious, obnoxious, bitch-ious
She spends 21-grand a year on beauty regimes (a ripoff) and now, she's doling out advice on where to vacation on her GOOP website, places that are "just as fab as she is". Vomit. Just like her fashion advice, beauty advice, and vacation advice-- the average woman (which she claims to be) can't afford any of this... stuff! You know what? I'd like to tell you where to go. It's a place where your 21-grand beauty regime won't matter, because your bullsh*t face will melt off. (pause for deep breath) I feel better now...
OFFENSE: Pretentious, obnoxious, bitch-ious
She spends 21-grand a year on beauty regimes (a ripoff) and now, she's doling out advice on where to vacation on her GOOP website, places that are "just as fab as she is". Vomit. Just like her fashion advice, beauty advice, and vacation advice-- the average woman (which she claims to be) can't afford any of this... stuff! You know what? I'd like to tell you where to go. It's a place where your 21-grand beauty regime won't matter, because your bullsh*t face will melt off. (pause for deep breath) I feel better now...
PHOTO CREDIT:
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Miley Cyrus https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Gwyneth Paltrow https://www.flickr.com/photos/elhormiguerotv/
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Miley Cyrus https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Gwyneth Paltrow https://www.flickr.com/photos/elhormiguerotv/
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