Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Scary Busey

8/25/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending August 26th, 2022:

#3 & #2 KATE GOSSELIN & JON GOSSELIN

These two formerly-married stars that shot to fame via their Jon & Kate Plus 8 reality TV featuring life with a set of twins and sextuplets refuse to go away. How these two ever fell in love and got married, I'll never know, because these two are toxic af. So what are they fighting about now? Jon says Kate stole $100-grand from their kids' trust fund for "living expenses." He made the discovery when he took custody of the kids back in 2018. Kate said she was borrowing it to survive. But how did she afford a $750,000 home that same year?

Jon says she hasn't paid the money back. Speaking of not paying money, Kate's lawyer has fired this:

“Kate’s integrity is impeccable. I can’t say the same for Jon Gosselin.”

Guess he owes over $130 grand in child support, not counting interest. And we know that's true, cuz dawg hasn't had a job since the reality show and since they divorced due to his infidelity. He's a scrub and she's a bish. Those poor kids.

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#1 GARY BUSEY

This assclown. The 78-year-old is facing four charges, including two counts of criminal sexual contact in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. He was there for a Monster-Mania Convention, when police were called to the Doubletree Hotel regarding the charges. He allegedly grabbed the backsides of two women before sticking his face near a third woman's boobalas and asking "where she got them." He supposedly also tried to undo her bra. Busey commented about the incident:

“Nothing happened.. There were… a partner, and a camera lady, and me and two girls… it took less than 10 seconds, and then they left.”

Okay. So if it's less than :30 seconds it's cool? Crazy phucker. Two days later, Busey was caught sitting on a bench at Point Dume Park in Malibu with his pants around his knees.

Please. Put your fossil ween back in your pants and go away. Gross.

Black (Eye) Keys

8/19/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending August 19th, 2022:

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#3, #2, #1 PATRICK CARNEY

Doing the hometown proud, aren't ya? This fool-- who is only bangable because he's a musician-- cheats (allegedly) on his wife-- fellow musician Michelle Branch-- then calls police when she slapped him across the face. No visible marks, but she's facing a DV charge because you can't handle your business. Apparently, you've letting your business get handled while your wife is at home nursing a 6-month-old. This all came out after Michelle posted on her socials:

"To say that I am totally devastated doesn't even come close to describing how I feel for myself and for my family. The rug has been completely pulled from underneath me and now I must figure out how to move forward. With such small children, I ask for privacy and kindness."

Then, she filed for divorce:

"... the parties are no longer capable of resuming their marital relationship and living together as husband and wife."

The two had been married for 3-years. In addition to the 6-month-old, they have a 4-year-old.

Just because you can snatch all the cookies, doesn't mean you should. Gross. You're lucky she didn't divorce your twig-n-berries from your body.

Wild, Wild, West

8/12/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 12th, 2022:

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#3 VICTORIA BECKHAM

It's all joy and bliss when you get engaged and are planning your wedding. What may not be blissful is any tension amongst your new family members. Nicola Peltz is Victoria's new daughter-in-law. She posted a teary-eyed selfie on the Insa with the caption:

“We all have days where people make you feel bad and it’s okay to be hurt by it."

According to sources, the two aren't getting along because Nicola didn't want Vickie's input when it came to the wedding planning. Now, this petty drama has become a "thing" which is just stupid. Now, Victoria and David haven't had much contact with their son because of this dramz.

As a wiser woman, you need to know your place and be the bigger person in a situation like this. She is a part of the family, and you need to let things slide. Any bride wants to plan the wedding she wants. Show some grace. Be as classy as your style.

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#2 TERESA GUIDICE, JOE & MELISSA GORGA, Castmembers/Real Housewives of New Jersey

This hot mess family will always remain messy. Teresa got married to her newest money succubus and her bro and sister-in-law backed out of attending. And now the fight is on! The Gorgas RSVPed "yes" to the lavish nuptials, but because Teresa has been spreading rumors that her SIL is letting her legs flop open, the couple decided to no-show. And Teresa is seething. She supposedly sent a bill to them demanding reimbursement.

"Meals at Park Chateau Estates and Gardens are not cheap. It’s rude to say ‘yes,’ and then change your mind in the 11th hour. This stuff isn’t refundable. Teresa got stuck with the check and to make matters worse, Joe and Melissa didn’t even send her a gift."

EGADS! It's happened to me. It's a part of doing wedding business.

An insider, though, has the Gorga's backs:

"They're not going to celebrate Teresa's new marriage when all she does is try to tear apart theirs. It's telling that Teresa didn't have one relative at her wedding. But that's the choice Teresa made."

This family deserves each other in so many ways. Being rich and famous doesn't make you a better person. It many times makes someone a bigger asshat.

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#1 KANYE WEST

As always happens, the Pete Davidson flame burns bright and hot and strong, and then-- POOF-- goes out. It's over between Pete and Kim Kardashian, and her soon-to-be-ex-husband couldn't be more thrilled. So much so, that he resorted to his usual childish, bullying behavior by going public with his glee. He posted a meme, a mock-up New York Times front-page headline that said: "Skete Davidson Dead At Age 28".

Kim was pissed, to say the least. And she wants it known that she is not reconciling with the father of her children:

“She’ll never get back with Kanye over the way he’s treated the people she loves and respects."

Even Kanye's fans are asking him to just stop. As for the Kim-Pete split, it was first reported that the reason was because he wanted marriage and she didn't, plus the age gap (she's 41, he's 28), but maybe it's mostly because of Ye. A source says:

"Pete's been in trauma therapy since April - and it's all about Kanye's online abuse. The attention and negativity coming from Kanye and his antics is a trigger for [Pete], and he's had to seek out help."

Yet cancel culture ain't coming for this guy.

Kanye West is a brat
He doesn't know where it's at
When his ego gets hurt
His large mouth will squirt
Vile and venom
Put your head back up your rectum
Where it belongs
You warted schlong

Will-Full (of it)

8/5/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 5th, 2022:

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#3 JOJO SIWA

It's so cute when celebrities fight. Grab the popcorn because public pettiness is a great form of entertainment. JoJo, who I think is famous from some reality TV show, is feuding with Candace Cameron Bure. It all started when JoJo was asked on a podcast who was the rudest star, and she said Candace. Why, because Candace didn't take a picture with her at the Fuller House premiere. So, Candace responded with a Bible verse. Then her daughter said something, and then JoJo's mom got involved...and the ultimate who-gives-a-f*ck social media catfight began. Now, JoJo's momma is saying:

“Real, genuine kindness always goes a long way. It’s super easy to quote a Bible verse when everyone is looking at you but morals are what you have when no one is looking.”

True. But all people have bad moments. And maybe, just maybe-- your daughter is a bit asshat-y. The reason she's getting slapped? I would never answer the question "who's the rudest celebrity you've ever met?" Because true rude people are known. No need to keep spreading hate. The reason she's probs the rudes to JoJo? Their belief systems do not align.

#realtalk

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#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

This bish. Not only does she peddle bullsh*t products and "health" practices, but apparently-- she's got it tough. Check that. Her children do. I know, pass the Kleenex. Not. She said it's really hard for celeb kids because they have to work harder because they're privileged.

"As the child of someone, you get access other people don't have, so the playing field is not level in that way. However, I really do feel that once your foot is in the door, which you unfairly got in, then you almost have to work twice as hard and be twice as good. Because people are ready to pull you down.”

Cue the violins.

The reason why it's tough for your kids is one is named Apple and the other is Moses.

One's a fruit, and the other's on a mountain waiting for you to STFU so he can come back down.

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#1 WILL SMITH

Just when you thought "the slap" would go away. It won't. Because Will won't stop addressing it. Will took to social media to apologize to Chris Rock. Though he hasn't done it personally to Chris, because Chris isn't ready. So, Will said "sorry" to Chris' mom, his family, and Tony.

"There’s no part of me that thinks that’s the optimal way to handle a feeling of disrespect or insults... If you hang on, I promise we’ll be able to be friends again.”

Yes. Because we used to hang out at Swenson's and then go home and braid each other's hair. Stop it! Why go public? Need to push an upcoming movie? Zip your lip until you actually speak to your victim first. Which he is not interested in doing. In fact, Chris addressed it on stage this way:

“Everybody is trying to be a f—ing victim. If everybody claims to be a victim, then nobody will hear the real victims. Even me getting smacked by Suge Smith … I went to work the next day, I got kids. Anyone who says words hurt has never been punched in the face.”

For the record, Will said that Jada made him apologize publicly. Which is only fitting since her death stare is what got everyone in this situation in the first place.

Please take your midlife crisis off of social media. Jada needs you to rub her feet.

Scary Busey

Black (Eye) Keys

Wild, Wild, West

Will-Full (of it)

About The Slap

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