Offenders for the week ending August 4, 2017:
Respect your nipples, and they will respect you...
#3 DAVID IRVING
Our athletes love their bling. Big necklaces; huge diamond stud earrings; pinky rings the size of the moon; and... nipple rings. The Cowboys defensive end has been sidelined because of his injured nipple. David was wearing said jewels during training camp, and it was YANKED out.
Why in the name of all things joyous are you wearing a friggin' nipple ring to practice? Common sense dictates taking out ALL of your jewelry when engaging in a physical activity. Fortunately, dude didn't get his entire nipple yanked out. Could you imagine?
Now I'm curious. What else is pierced? Should we call you Prince David? Maybe you need titty cups to protect the boob baubles.
Why in the name of all things joyous are you wearing a friggin' nipple ring to practice? Common sense dictates taking out ALL of your jewelry when engaging in a physical activity. Fortunately, dude didn't get his entire nipple yanked out. Could you imagine?
Now I'm curious. What else is pierced? Should we call you Prince David? Maybe you need titty cups to protect the boob baubles.
"Why don't you believe me?"
#2 CHARLIE SHEEN
Charlie's pal, Rob Lowe, has this new show on A&E called "The Lowe Files" where Lowe and his sons investigate myths-- like Bigfoot. Well, there was a big revelation on the show, and I don't mean Bigfoot.... Charlie believes the moon is hollow.
Charlie has no scientific evidence, but instead chooses to believe the conspiracy theory that the moon rings like a bell. Okay. Oh, and a hollow moon is featured in the H. G. Wells novel "The First Men on The Moon."
Tiger Blood; #Winning; and now this... Thanks for the material.
P.S. But I thought the moon was made of cheese...
Charlie has no scientific evidence, but instead chooses to believe the conspiracy theory that the moon rings like a bell. Okay. Oh, and a hollow moon is featured in the H. G. Wells novel "The First Men on The Moon."
Tiger Blood; #Winning; and now this... Thanks for the material.
P.S. But I thought the moon was made of cheese...
"Tastes like chicken..."
#1 MILEY CYRUS
Oh, Miley. Just when we all thought she's done a complete turnaround... this. Younger sister, Noah, shared the stage with Slimey. The two had fun singing together and soaking the crowd with water guns, until Miley spat in Noah's mouth. Say wha?
"... she actually spit in my mouth while I was speaking. So that wasn't fun."
While I want to give props to Miley for the perfect shot, I. Just. Can't. Spit is not cool. Spit is gross. Spit is something you choose not to have in your mouth, thus the spitting!
Makes all those photos of your not keeping your tongue in your mouth seem acceptable. By the way, I think you just impregnated your sister.
"... she actually spit in my mouth while I was speaking. So that wasn't fun."
While I want to give props to Miley for the perfect shot, I. Just. Can't. Spit is not cool. Spit is gross. Spit is something you choose not to have in your mouth, thus the spitting!
Makes all those photos of your not keeping your tongue in your mouth seem acceptable. By the way, I think you just impregnated your sister.
PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com
www.giphy.com
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