Offenders for the week of September 28th, 2015:
This week's Slapees will be assigned a trending topic based on their offense.
"I'm a bitter prick, so give me your money!"
#3 GAVIN ROSSDALE
OFFENSE: Loser
Say goodbye to that amicable divorce! Gavin is demanding a multi-million dollar divorce settlement. What a toolbag! He's complained that while wifey Gwen Stefani was launching her successful clothing line, doing the music thang, and appearing on The Voice, he stayed home with their three children.
Uhmmm... isn't that called PARENTING!?!?!?!
Sorry your acting and post-Bush music career tanked. Oh, and let's not forget about how you hid from Gwen-- until after you married her-- that you had a lovechild with some skankster.
Even though Gavin is worth $20 million, Gwen is worth $120 million... and since they didn't have pre-nup, well.. you know. Douche isn't even worthy of her soiled tampons....
Your trending topic: #SomeoneFindMyBalls
OFFENSE: Loser
Say goodbye to that amicable divorce! Gavin is demanding a multi-million dollar divorce settlement. What a toolbag! He's complained that while wifey Gwen Stefani was launching her successful clothing line, doing the music thang, and appearing on The Voice, he stayed home with their three children.
Uhmmm... isn't that called PARENTING!?!?!?!
Sorry your acting and post-Bush music career tanked. Oh, and let's not forget about how you hid from Gwen-- until after you married her-- that you had a lovechild with some skankster.
Even though Gavin is worth $20 million, Gwen is worth $120 million... and since they didn't have pre-nup, well.. you know. Douche isn't even worthy of her soiled tampons....
Your trending topic: #SomeoneFindMyBalls
"Guess what I'm tuckin'?"
#2 WENDY WILLIAMS
OFFENSE: Pot Stirrer
Some people just live for the drams. And some create it. Wendy is notorious for stirring the pot, blind-siding guests on her show with what she deems controversial, hard-hitting questions.. And now, she's accusing reality TV star Kim Zolciak-Biermann of faking a stroke so she wouldn't have to perform on Dancing With The Stars. As much as we all know that reality TV-types will do anything to stay relevant, I should hope that one would not invite that kind of bad karma. And speaking of bad karma, enjoy it when someone calls you a shim. Oh, that's already happened.
Your trending topic: #CheckIMightHaveBalls
OFFENSE: Pot Stirrer
Some people just live for the drams. And some create it. Wendy is notorious for stirring the pot, blind-siding guests on her show with what she deems controversial, hard-hitting questions.. And now, she's accusing reality TV star Kim Zolciak-Biermann of faking a stroke so she wouldn't have to perform on Dancing With The Stars. As much as we all know that reality TV-types will do anything to stay relevant, I should hope that one would not invite that kind of bad karma. And speaking of bad karma, enjoy it when someone calls you a shim. Oh, that's already happened.
Your trending topic: #CheckIMightHaveBalls
"I'm soooo in love!"
#1 SANDRA BULLOCK
OFFENSE: Gullible
I'm not confident in Sandra's man-picking abilities. Things are moving quickly with new BF Bryan Randall. So much so that she's moving him into her million dollar home-- to shack-up with her and her ailing 91-year-old dad. But that's not all. Because she wants to bond more with Bryan, she's decided to buy her favorite local bar so they can do something together. Aw, how sweet! The price tag? $10 million. Because making a recipe from Pinterest was too... average? Yikes!
Sandra, Sandra, Sandra. Have you not learned from that faux pas named Jesse James. That lying, cheatin' dbag you called a husband? Protect your ass and your assets, girl.
Your trending topic: #BetterOffMakingNiceWithATennisBall
OFFENSE: Gullible
I'm not confident in Sandra's man-picking abilities. Things are moving quickly with new BF Bryan Randall. So much so that she's moving him into her million dollar home-- to shack-up with her and her ailing 91-year-old dad. But that's not all. Because she wants to bond more with Bryan, she's decided to buy her favorite local bar so they can do something together. Aw, how sweet! The price tag? $10 million. Because making a recipe from Pinterest was too... average? Yikes!
Sandra, Sandra, Sandra. Have you not learned from that faux pas named Jesse James. That lying, cheatin' dbag you called a husband? Protect your ass and your assets, girl.
Your trending topic: #BetterOffMakingNiceWithATennisBall
PHOTO CREDITS:
Gavin Rossdale https://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicasarahs/
Wendy Williams https://www.flickr.com/photos/celebrityabc/
Sandra Bullock https://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/
Gavin Rossdale https://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicasarahs/
Wendy Williams https://www.flickr.com/photos/celebrityabc/
Sandra Bullock https://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/
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