Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Rah Rah Wrong

9/25/2020

Offenders for the week ending September 25, 2020:

#3 KRISTEN DOUTE, former cast member/Vanderpump Rules

It really sucks when reality bitch-slaps a bitch and removes you from reality TV. Kristen and Stassi Schroeder will no longer make a paycheck from the show, after their false allegations of criminal activity involving an African-American cast member they didn't like backfired in their faces. And past racists comments made on social media added fuel to the fire. Well, Kristen wants the world to know that they weren't fired:

"They (Bravo TV) chose not to renew our contracts. That was their decision to make."

Girl, that's code for "fired" in the entertainment biz. Terminated. Shown the door. You. Were. Fired. With your lying, skeevy ways, and Stassi's penchant for mean-girlness at every turn, I'd say Karma made a visit.

Time to become a softcore porn star...

via GIPHY

#2 DINA LOHAN

Love is grand. Especially when it's with a real person. A person that you get to spend time with. Right, Dina? Oh, wait. Your sitch is a little... different. Dina took to the socials to thank her fiancé, Jerry Nadler, for helping her get her mind and body into shape. Because she loves him like she's loved no other. And:

"No one has ever been such a powerful influence on me and I thank god for bringing me him."

Awwww! Vomit!

Dina and Jesse have known each other for six years, after meeting on Facebook. Oh, did I mention that these two have never been in the same room with each other? They chat and facetime, but they live on separate coasts. Because he supposedly is caring for his mom... Did I mention he mailed her the engagement ring?

Yeah. Catfish-ish true love. And this bimbo has a podcast (named "Listen to Me, OG Mama D) in which she gives advice, among other things. The only thing she's the OG of is being a complete dumpster fire.

via GIPHY

#1 JERRY HARRIS, star of the Netflix docuseries "Cheer"

The breakout star of the show is in the hottest of waters, under arrest on production of child pornography charges. Fourteen-year-old twin brothers claim Harris harassed them online and in-person for over a year at cheer competitions when they were 13 and Harris was 19. Varsity Brands, a prominent company within the cheerleading community, reported Harris to police after he allegedly asked once of the twins to have sex with him during two of the company's competitions in 2019.

Varsity barred Harris from their brand for life.

Harris claims he's innocent, though he admitted during an FBI interview that he asked one of the teens to send him photos and videos of his junk and backside on Snapchat.

Okay...

Disgusting. What you've done (allegedly) has scarred these boys for life. You're not even good enough to be a used tampon.

Perhaps you'll share a cell with Jared Fogle one day... Cheer(s) to that.

Nirwaaaahna

8/21/2020

Offenders for the week ending August 21, 2020:

via GIPHY

#3 LALA KENT, Cast Member/Vanderpump Rules

I guess her wedding to Randall Emmett is back on, because this reality TV "star" slammed designer Michael Costello for not making her wedding dress because she's not a "big enough" celebrity. Well... do reality TV "stars" really count as "celebrities"? Anywho, she was trolling Kylie Jenner's Insta and saw that Costello was displeased that Kylie doesn't tag designers unless she's getting paid. LaLa then decided to add her two hooker-y cents into the sitch with this:

"What a clown. This dude. I literally blew him up to make my custom wedding dress-he would have gotten all the 'tags & @'s' he's talking about. But I never heard back from him... why? Because I'm not 'big enough.' So cool out, Costello-you do the same s--t."

Yeah. You're not Kylie. #truth

And you didn't follow through with any appointments with Costello, and you wanted your dress for free... but you're not Kylie, so... open your legs and get that free dress!

Did I mention you're not Kylie?

via GIPHY

#2 ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL

Calm it down, Geek. The former '80s star and still-sometimes-actor went-off on some guests at a hotel swimming pool. And it's all caught on video! Dude went down to the pool with his wife and his assistant, portable boombox in hand, and a jug of... something. Hall was gettin' his groove on with loud tunes and swearing in front of the other pool guests-- which included children. When one mom dared to ask him to tone it down... well... the tirade began. Yelling. Cursing. M-F-ing. Calling the victim in question Rosie O'Donnell (that might be the biggest insult of them all!).

But he's sorry:

"As a result of a misunderstanding and miscommunication between myself and some hotel guests, the situation needlessly and regrettably escalated. I am deeply sorry for my words and actions and ask for forgiveness from anyone who I may have offended."

Misunderstanding? You were a total d*ck. Like, the sweatiest, warted, unclean "d" of all time.

I always said the dude's on steroids. He went from scrawny to muscle-bound, and apparently that affected his scrawny brain. Remember, he faced prison time in 2016 for allegedly assaulting one of his neighbors.

Please. Return to obscurity.

via GIPHY

#1 FRANCES BEAN COBAIN

How fast can you spend $11 million? Ask the late Kurt Cobain's baby girl! At the age of 28, she's broke. Why? Because she managed to burn through a $100-thousand per month allowance.

Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

Franny says she has a healthier relationship with money now. She said she had felt guilt and a disconnect having all this money from someone she didn't know (Kurt died when she was 2) and didn't earn. Waaaaa! Some rando could leave me $11 million and I'd have no problem finding a connection with it. Period. But nice excuse. You couldn't find an accountant to soften the harsh blow of your dead daddy's money?

But she's lived and learned:

"Like, it's not necessary to have UberXX or whatever it is every single time you are going five minutes away. Get the Uber economy if you are going ten minutes away, it's okay, it's alright."

Or... walk. Or... get your own damn car.

But she has people in place, now, to handle her money.

Why do asshats who have no appreciation for money end up with a sh*t ton, only to blow it on blow and booze? I can't even imagine a salary of $100 thousand a year, yet alone that sum per month! Ima ready to kick her muffin straight up and out of the place where her brain should be.

Keeping It Reality

5/29/2020

Offenders for the week ending May 29, 2020:

A big problem with the world? "Reality" TV "stars" are considered stars. But hey-- they provide good material. And... I'd take some Reality TV stardom. Think of all the things I'd say in those confessionals! LOL

via GIPHY

#3 LALA KENT, Vanderpump Rules cast member

Life in QT can be difficult for couples, especially if one person has a flamethrower personality like LaLa. She revealed in a recent podcast with fellow VPR castmate Stassi that she got into such a terrible argument with her fiance Randall Emmett that she almost moved back home to Utah! Egads!

"He does this thing-- I'm sensitive-- so if he pokes at me, like, if I feel like someone's telling me I'm not giving them enough love or like I need to pay more attention, I feel like instead of it being like, 'Oh, OK I need to give more love', I take it as, like, a personal attack."

She was so upset she was crying in her Gucci (sigh, who cares about ugly over-priced shizz) duffle bag while packing a few things to leave. But she didn't leave. LaLa said she'd never break up with Randall.

But she did end her engagement two times. And who would leave all that older-man-Hollywood-money? I mean, the man gifted her with a Land Rover after their first date ended in her playing the skin flute.

Toot Toot.

via GIPHY

#2 DORINDA MEDLEY, Real Housewives of New York City cast member

You can dish out the piles of shizz, but you surely can't take it. Poor Dorito is all upset at fellow castmate Ramona Singer, saying she hasn't been there emotionally for her. Ramona simply stated a fact on a recent episode that Dorinda "takes people down all the time."

#TruthHurts

"I felt like Ramona was a little insensitive to me for what I was going through this year. I needed a soft place to land, and I needed her to be more of a soft place to land than I felt she was being."

WAAAAA! How ironic you want compassion when all you do is cut people to the bone. Your inexplicable hatred for castmate Tinsley Mortimer is repuslive, You are the ultimate mean girl, with a big dose of Karen thrown in.

How 'bout the "soft place" you land is someplace in QT for life?

via GIPHY

#1 KELLY DODD, Real Housewives of Orange County cast member

I get it. It's hard to determine what info is accurate and what info is not when it comes to COVID. But to downplay concerns in general makes you look like a heartless tw@twaffle. She was all excited on her social media when she ventured out to go shopping at a mall and eat dinner at a restaurant. She said:

"No one is wearing masks in Orange County, because no one is dying of the virus."

Uhmmm... people are dying of the virus. A fact that you so verbally vomited two weeks ago.

Wear a mask. Don't wear a mask. Your choice. Do more people die from the flu and other diseases, accidents, whatever per year? Sure. But 100,000 people have died from COVID. Maybe that's not a big number to you in a nation of 331-million-ish. But if one of those fallen was a relative or a friend? You'd be crying what a tragedy it is and crying out for "something to be done!"

This is your third strike. Three times you've been a complete ween about this. Three times you've shown your complete lack of humanity. Sometimes it really is okay to zip it. Your mouth and your legs. Can we evict you from the planet now?

Humblebraggart

4/24/2020

Offenders for the week ending April 24, 2020:

via GIPHY

#3 KRISTEN DOUTE, Castmember, Vanderpump Rules

She might be one of the biggest, hottest messes in all of reality TV. The chick who got fired from her server job at SUR. The chick who attracts volatile, lopsided relationships like flies to a pile crap. The chick who banged her best friend's boyfriend. Classy dame, this one. Even though she's all that, she can't help but throw shade at said best friend (Stassi), and co-best friend (Katie) because they've finally grown tired of her existence.

"Everyone has a right to be themselves. Everyone has their own version of what's cute to them. Their style, their quirks, their compassion, whatever it may be. You know what's NOT cute? Being in your 30s and still being a mean girl. Being that age and being an assh&le. #PumpRules"

You want isn't cute? Anything about YOU. Go pretend to design t-shirts for your t-shirt company and cry to someone who cares. Cue the crickets...

via GIPHY

#2 The Bachelor, PETER WEBER

After his momma, Barb, became the most famous villain in The Bachelor history by flame-throwing Madison, and after Peter told her to back-it-up-- all on live TV... he's walked-back his passion.

"Listen, my family, in general, they're my rock. l'll defend them till the day I die. I love them more than anything. They truly just want the best for me... I respect the hell out of my mom. To be able to speak her mind and not feel the pressure to cave in to a certain narrative on live television, in front of millions of people... that takes a strong person. That's the love of a mother."

Apparently, when Hannah Ann was face-down in your "cauliflower" (that's what she said his ween is like-- bland and tasteless) she failed to noticed your lack of "raisins". I understand respecting your mom. But there are times when a "helicopter parent" needs... handled. Your one attempt to do so failed. Did she threaten to kick you out of the house? (This pilot for Delta still lives at home!) Not make your favorite Petey dish?

Keep being comfortable having your mom run your life. You'll end up sucking from her teet for life. Wait...

via GIPHY

#1 JUSTIN BIEBER

There's nothing like the compassion of an overpaid douchelebrity to make me feel oh-so-better about life... Recently, The Beebs and his wife and Kendall Jenner were all Insta chatting live-- commiserating about this horrid time in quarantine. You know, a time when people are getting sick, some are dying, and many of us common folk losing income. But hey, they feel for us-- especially Dweebs:

"How blessed are we to be able to like... a lot of people obviously in this time have a crappy situation. You know, they look at us and obviously, we've worked hard for where we're at, so, it's like you can't feel bad for the things we have. But I think, just us taking that time to acknowledge that there are people who are really crippling is important."

I don't know how to put this... F&CK OFF! Oh, your "acknowledgement" warms the cockles our of hearts! Thank you for recognizing that we little people have it worse than you. And we know how hard you worked. You did rise up from obscurity. But your wife was born to famous parents. And Kendall was born of privilege, so... Please, girl. We don't have time to hate on your mansions. We have WORK TO DO.

Thanks for the tone-deaf, half-assed Hallmark sentiment, but we'll pass. Don't you have some pubes to go braid or something?

Tweet Attack

7/26/2019

Offenders for the week ending 07/26/19:

Our slapees are reality TV stars. What does that say about who are considered "stars" nowadays? At least they're doing stupid stuff get slapped for! Woo hoo!

via GIPHY

#3 TERESA GUIDICE, Real Housewives of New Jersey Cast Member

Italians are known for being passionate and hot-tempered. Teresa rose to Housewives fame after flipping a table in a moment of rage. When asked about Season 10 of the show, she said her anger is next-level:

'What happened, I didn't expect it to happen. I'm shocked. It's just screwed up, you know? Let me just tell you, I was more mad this season than when I flipped the table."

Supposedly, her anger was directed at co-star Danielle Staub-- the same person that enraged her enough to flip that table in Season 1.

Best check yoself. Are you still on probation? Surely, you don't want to wear those bracelets again.

via GIPHY

#2 MR. & MRS. JAX & BRITTANY TAYLOR, Vanderpump Rules Cast Members

I thought the "honeymoon" phase of a marriage was supposed to last a year or two. For this reality TV couple, it was a whopping month! Anyone that watches this show shouldn't be surprised. Methinks their engagement and wedding was just for a payday. See, sweet Kentucky native Brittany finally made an honest man out of manho Jax Taylor. HA HA HA HA! This dude is notorious for letting his snake slither into whatever cave is warm and moist. So, it was quite amazing that Brittany forgave his cheating, as well as his shaming behavior. He has a tendency to talk down to women, treat them like dirt, and lie like a welcome mat. But Brittany has a forgiving nature (need more screen time), and the two became closer than ever- especially after Jax's father passed away unexpectedly.

After dropping 10 grand on an engagement party, and who knows how much on a fairytale wedding, things are rocky. Why? Because he's still a man-child P.O.S. and she can stop spending above their means.

"It has just been one thing after another. Brittany is already accusing Jax of having a wandering eye and she doesn't know how she is ever really going to trust him... Jax is freaking out about money now, too."

And... they don't have a pre-nup.

I'm sure the next step is getting pregnant-- for the cameras. Gag. Thanks for making a mockery of marriage...

via GIPHY

#1 KYLE RICHARDS, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Cast Member

You are the perfect example of how one should think before social media-ing. So many people live for that instant share-my-thoughts-with-the-world. Unfortunately, thinking rarely occurs before you hit "post". Sigh...

After Part 2 of the "reunion show", Kyle went on a 29 tweet rant. Twenty, Nine. Da fuq? We won't re-post the rant because y'all have better things to do. Maybe find it when you're sitting on the toilet and need to pass... time. Anywho, the drama of the show this season was over O.G. Lisa Vanderpump's dog rescue and a scandal involving a cast member adopting a dog but not returning it per contract, blah, blah, blah. "Puppy Gate" put me off the show forever. Sadly manufactured for a storyline. But the worst part was the rest of the cast members ganging up on Vanderpump-- a woman who had just lost her brother to suicide, and her mother passed away. Way to show your support.

So, to feel the need to rant on Twitter is sad. Who gives a f&ck? You "ladies" are a bunch of bullies with money and fading beauty and desperation for attention. To tweet about how tough your life is is laughable-- considering how you all have treated Lisa V. Perhaps there's jealousy that she can walk away, that she is uber wealthy through all her businesses and that she looks fabulous while doing it all.

Take your playground pettiness and shove it. Think the Botox has pickled your brain.

Fumin' and Feudin'

5/3/2019

Offenders for the week ending May 3, 2019:

via GIPHY

#3 PETE DAVIDSON

I get it. Celebs have their "don't talk to me about this" list when it comes to interviews. Sometimes, those topics are off-limits in business deals, too. Petey left his scheduled show at The Stress Factory Comedy Club in Connecticut because owner Vinnie Brand made a joke on stage about his personal life:

"Pete was not about to let this guy ruin his show, disrespect him and abuse the names of women Pete respects and cares about... It's sad that people like this club owner would pull a stunt like this just to bring attention to himself and his club."

Really, Pete? Yes, it ain't cool this dude took a shot at your shoddy love life. But if I recall, you made fun Navy SEAL Dan Crenshaw-- who lost his eye serving our country and was running for office (which he won.) But that's okay, because it's comedy. Right? Put on your big girl panties and deal with being the target of some lame joke. Sucks, doesn't it. Boo hoo!

via GIPHY

#2 RAPPER 50 CENT AND LALA KENT (cast member of Vanderpump Rules)

Nothing like a lame feud between celebrities and reality "stars". 50 Insta-humiliated LaLa after she shared her story on the show about how she landed her much-older fiancee/movie producer Randall Emmett. LaLa said:

"I let him (Randall) hit it the first time and we were inseparable. He would just send me, like, really expensive gifts. The first night we banged, I got a car the next day. He was like, 'Do you want a Ranger Rover?'"

To which 50 Insta-ed:

"10 seconds left in the 4 quarter hoe's are Winning. Do you want A range rover, yes, bitch yassss. Then just run out and suck a d-k. LOL smh"

Then the feud commenced. LaLa calling 50 a douche. 50 saying Randall owed him a million bucks and had a week to pay it back (he did.) Randall begged 50 to stop the beef with Magic Vaj, and then he ended up in the hospital with chest pains.

WTF? Thanks for the entertainment, but y'all are lame. For many reasons.

via GIPHY

#1 RICK SCHRODER

The actor long ago dropped the "y" from his name to seem more grown up. Well, grown decent folk don't beat their significant others. For the second time in 30 days, he's been arrested on domestic violence charges. According to the popo:

"When deputies arrived, they mad contact with the suspect and the victim. They also identified evidence of a physical altercation."

A similar incident occurred April 2nd. Schroder had been married nearly 24 years before his divorce in 2016. We may never know what's swimming inside your head, especially after a tough breakup with your ex. But, you're a father of four. Get your head out of your ass before someone beats you with a silver spoon. You'd think with all the law enforcement roles you've played, you wouldn't break the law. But in this case, life doesn't imitate art.

Perhaps instead of dropping the "y" from your name, you should've gone with the moniker more befitting you: Dick.

You Can Pick Your Friend's Nose

4/19/2019

Offenders for the week ending April 19, 2019:

via GIPHY

#3 DINA LOHAN

Because everyone smelled a "catfish" and she finally did, too, Dina has dumped the man she was going to marry-- the she'd never met in person after five years. That hurts my head. Dina said she had gotten suspicious of Jesse Nadler. He does exist. But, he "didn't have the best intentions." What? You mean there are people out there who are ill-intended that take advantage of lesser-intelligent/desperate-for-love people? The two were going to finally meet, but they got into a fight and broke up. Or is that a lie?

"Dina was already suspicious that he was media hungry and she is in talks about doing several new shows, including a dating show... This guy wants his 15 minutes of fame-- he just proved her suspicions correct."

Again, it only took FIVE YEARS! Their relationship probably would've lasted longer had Dina not revealed his identity and their story on Celebrity Big Brother. Oh, the reason they never saw each other? She lives in NYC and he lives in Cali and is taking care of his sick momma, so he can't travel.

Here's some advice: when in doubt, keep your legs shut and your mind open.

via GIPHY

#2 BILLIE LEE, smaller "star" on the reality show Vanderpump Rules

FYI: The pic above is not Billie Lee. Someday, she'll be gif worth.

What a brave story of Billie Lee, budding reality TV star. Billie was in gender transition when she appeared on the show and the reality nation fell in love with her. And now, she's just a big bully. It's apparent she's trying to stir up the shizz to keep her role on the popular Bravo TV show. Unfortunately, she's throwing serious shade at her co-stars and accusing them of bias against transgendered folk-- which is a big, ol' lie. And... she's all bent because she hasn't become besties with the gals on the show.

Queen bee and fellow "star" Stassi Schroeder dishes:

"It's not that she doesn't fit, because if she tried to fit, she would. If she was actually nice and kind and friendly to us, I think she would..."

Wait. We should try to be nice to each other? And not feel entitled?

Here's some advice: all relationships are a dance, not a kidnap-you-and-throw-you-in-the-trunk kind of thing.

via GIPHY

#1 KAITLYN BRISTOWE

I'm not cool, so I don't know who this chick is-- other than she's gotta be famous for whatever reason. She and her boyfriend Jason Tartick (guess these two twits were on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette?) are in love. And she's decided to share way too much information with us.

The two met up after talking for a while, and after they appeared on some other reality TV show. When asked about their first hookup, she spared no detail:

"I was on my period. This is a natural thing for women. We don't have to act like it's weird. We all get our periods... So I was like, 'Yo, let's dry hump.' So we did... In five minutes, he picked my nose and gave me an orgasm. So yeah, it was good. I mean, dry humping will get you if it's been a while. Then he looks at me after and goes, 'Aw. you've got a booger.' And then he picked my nose, and I was like, 'We're it. This is happening.'"

Oh, and said orgasm was the best of her life... with Mr. Booger Picker.

I just... Please.

Here's some advice: for the love of all things sacred, don't share your bowel movements with us.

P.S. I'm sure these two will have one of those Love Toilets like on that SNL skit.

Peace Out!

9/21/2018

Offenders for the week ending September 21, 2018:

via GIPHY

Offenders for the week ending September 21, 2018:

#3 SCHEANA SHAY, Vanderpump Rules Castmember

I have to hand it to Scheana. She's not shy about being a complete famewhore. She got married, then divorced two years later; gushed about her new BF Rob so much so that she scared him away. And now, she's in love again. Adam Spott is a new cast member, bartender at SUR and the newest hottie for everyone to drool over. Well, is she touching Adam's no-no place?

"You just have to watch next season. We're always together. He's my favorite person to be with."

You tease! Look, I get that you want a man to suffocate with love. But seriously, you need to air that thang out. Or you'll give birth one day to Freddie Krueger, Jr.

#VenusFlySnatch

via GIPHY

#2 TOM ARNOLD

He puts the "ass" in classless. I'm so tired of politics infiltrating every facet of every thing. Tommy boy and producer Mark Burnett have publicly verbally battled about Arnold's upcoming show, The Hunt For The Trump Tapes, in which T-bag hopes to uncover tapes of the President saying racist and non-PC things during his days on The Apprentice. Because that's all Hollywood cares about is finding dirt. Sigh.

Allegedly, Arnold and Burnett got into some kind of physical altercation at a day-before-the-Emmys party. Roma Downey, Burnett's wife, tweeted:

"Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event. Is your TV show worth it Tom? Please stop."

Tom wasn't having any of that:

"Bullsh*t. You lie your crazy husband attacked me you psycho. I'm filing police report & suing you for defamation."

You need to have character to be defamed.

#BackOffTheSauce

via GIPHY

#1 VONTAE DAVIS, former player for the Buffalo Bills

I guess sometimes enough is enough. But at least finish your "work day" before you clean out your locker. Davis up and flat-out retired from the team AT HALFTIME! His former team was losing to the Chargers 28-6. Those must've been magic I-need-to-quit-now numbers. Linebacker Lorenzo Alexander was stunned:

"It's just completely disrespectful to his teammates. He didn't say nothing to nobody. I found out going into the second half of the game. They said he's not coming out, he retired. That's it."

What did Vontae have to say?

"This isn't how I pictured retiring... but today on the field, reality hit me fast and hard. I shouldn't be out there anymore. I meant no disrespect to my teammates and coaches."

Not how you pictured it? Uh, you have control over your actions. You could've retired a million other ways. Douchetae said he didn't want to "keep sacrificing" over a long season. Last I checked, the pro football season is 16 games. So, if you do the math ahead of time there are 16 GAMES! Should've bowed out at the beginning. Before game one. It's unfair to everyone. And selfish. You couldn't wait 30 more minutes to quit?

#QuittersNeverWin

(Fat) Shame (er) on You!

1/18/2018

Offenders for the week ending January 19, 2018:

Well...

#3 DENNIS RODMAN

Some people never learn. You've been to alcohol rehab-- twice. You've struggled with addiction for a large part of your adult life. So why not booze-it-up and get in your car? Sigh. His manager thinks Rodman needs to re-enter some kind of treatment facility. Duh. Perhaps this is the truth: he's missing his snuggle buddy, Kim Jong Ick. He's longing for those nights of Netflix and chill; and braiding each other's (ass) hair... Or maybe he was meant to be ultra-alcohol friendly. With a nickname like "The Worm", perhaps he was destined to be the worm in a bottle of tequila...

Get yo stuffs together!

P.S. He's checked himself into rehab, again. Hopefully the third time's a charm...

"So I'm the assh*le?"

#2 BRITTANY CARTWRIGHT of reality TV show Vanderpump Rules

Second time on the list for the same offense. Apparently, the first "slap" did not wake you up! I know, I know. Your boyfriend, Jax Taylor (see the above pic), is a good guy deep inside, and you can change him. And... he was, like, really sorry. Really, really sorry.

After admitting to crotch wrestling with the couple's mutual friend and former co-worker, Faith, Jax was caught on a recording trashing his beloved girlfriend to said skank. In his post-coital confession, Jax said he cared about Brittany, but would never marry her... and that the two never had the happy-fun-time anymore. But he's been telling everyone how much he wants to marry B and have kids with her.

Egads! Why would you stay with this festering P.O.S.?

Is that sound of crickets...

I'm starting to think you're not the sweet Kentucky gal you're portraying, but an opportunist that is willing to divorce your self-esteem and worth to be entwined with a sociopath who treats you worse than a steamy pile.

"TELL ME I'M A FAT ASS!!!!"

#1 MEGYN KELLY

I lost all respect with this trashy trollop when she wore nothing more than a negligee to cover the RNC, then tried to claim she was harassed at Fox News. HA HA HA HA! This from a woman who (allegedly) snookered her mentor, Britt Hume. Well, she tried to change her image to a softer, kinder, likable lady. Again, HA HA HA HA! You can't polish a turd... Anywho, her latest faux pas?

Women want to be fat-shamed.

It worked for her when she was in college, courtesy of her stepdaddy:

Yes, there are times I call myself a "fat b*tch" while I'm working out. But I'm surely not going to ask someone else to call me a fat-ass when I'm reaching for sustenance. Is this how you parent your children, oh wise hoochie?

If that's the thang that works best for you, I guess we could all gather in a circle and yell insults at you so you can become a better person. That would make my day...

What should we call Megyn? Add your comments below if you'd like...

PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com

Size Triple D

3/17/2017

As in: diva, a dick, and a ditz...

Offenders for the week ending March 17, 2017:
This week's Slap-ees will receive an appropriate Irish saying.

Tanaka says: "I think I found what I lost in these here bushes..."

#3 MARIAH CAREY

Our favorite diva just can't get out of the hot mess vortex. Her modus operandi of securing constant male companionship continues. Her latest victim: dancer Brian Tanaka. We saw their re-connection on her reality show "Mariah's World." We also know that Mariah was engaged at the time to some international billionaire, but he didn't make enough time for her. So that opened the door for Tanaka to become Mariah's next manservant. Word has it she really wants to marry her young lover-- whether he wants to or not! She must believe that the third time's a charm...

"Mariah is already talking marriage and kids because she is absolutely enamored by this guy. She's convinced now that he's the one..."

Apparently, friends have been encouraging her to put the brakes on-- but Mariah don't listen to no one! In fact, she's shopping for engagement rings. Way to make this a transaction. Why not just have him give you a red-solo-cup-donation and call it a day. (wink, wink)

Mariah: Wake up, girl. Tanaka: you best moonwalk right out of her penthouse.

Your Irish Saying: (and this is for Tanaka) "If you want praise, die. If you want blame, marry."

"My lips are movin', so I must be lyin' about somethin'..."

#2 VANDERPUMP RULES STAR JAX TAYLOR

This perpetual man-child can't stop pouting when he doesn't get his way. This time he was at an event and wanted his picture taken with The Bachelor star Nick Viall. But Nick said he doesn't do social media. Then things got ugly:

"I have no f*cking idea who you are... Bro, you're on the f*cking Bachelor. You're gonna be gone in two weeks and nobody will know who the f&ck you are."

Ouchie. Then, he proceeded to call Nick an egotistical d-bag and much more-- to his face. Truth is, a ton of people wanted their picture taken with Nick and not Jax. Plus, Mr. Taylor had some "liquid courage" going on, which makes him extra loser-ish.

Nice, old-man-frat-boy. By the way, nobody would know who the f*ck you are, Jax-ass if it weren't for the show you're on. You're a nearly-40-year-old bartender!!!

Your Irish Saying: "May you live to be 100 years, with one extra to repent." (Think of all the years of trainwreck reality TV we'd get if he lived that long!)

"WikiLeaks on these, Julian!"

#1 PAMELA ANDERSON

She does like her bad boys. And the object of her love is WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. She's been spotted bringing him food at the Ecuadorean Embassy where he's been holed-up for the past four years to avoid extradition to Sweden on rape charges. And for all you naysayers out there, he's innocent until proven guilty.

"My Julian is the most intelligent, interesting, and informed man in existence."

The feeling is mutual:

"She's an attractive person with an attractive personality and whip-smart. She's psychologically savvy."

Oh, I bet she's good with a whip! Anywho, not everyone believes Pammy's intentions are true. One former associate had this tidbit:

"Pamela doesn't do anything unless she is getting paid... and a few years ago, she was pretty broke."

Noooooo! But she wrote this about her beloved. A poem entitled: "My Julian."

Pamela, Pamela, Pamela. Apparently there's some TitiLeaks going on. That implant juice has hit your brain.

Your Irish Saying: "It's easy to halve the potato where there's love."

PHOTO CREDIT:
Gifs www.giphy.com

Rah Rah Wrong

Nirwaaaahna

Keeping It Reality

Humblebraggart

Tweet Attack

Fumin' and Feudin'

You Can Pick Your Friend's Nose

Peace Out!

(Fat) Shame (er) on You!

Size Triple D

About The Slap

Archives

Categories