Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Peace Out!

9/21/2018

Offenders for the week ending September 21, 2018:

#3 SCHEANA SHAY, Vanderpump Rules Castmember

I have to hand it to Scheana. She's not shy about being a complete famewhore. She got married, then divorced two years later; gushed about her new BF Rob so much so that she scared him away. And now, she's in love again. Adam Spott is a new cast member, bartender at SUR and the newest hottie for everyone to drool over. Well, is she touching Adam's no-no place?

"You just have to watch next season. We're always together. He's my favorite person to be with."

You tease! Look, I get that you want a man to suffocate with love. But seriously, you need to air that thang out. Or you'll give birth one day to Freddie Krueger, Jr.

#VenusFlySnatch

via GIPHY

#2 TOM ARNOLD

He puts the "ass" in classless. I'm so tired of politics infiltrating every facet of every thing. Tommy boy and producer Mark Burnett have publicly verbally battled about Arnold's upcoming show, The Hunt For The Trump Tapes, in which T-bag hopes to uncover tapes of the President saying racist and non-PC things during his days on The Apprentice. Because that's all Hollywood cares about is finding dirt. Sigh.

Allegedly, Arnold and Burnett got into some kind of physical altercation at a day-before-the-Emmys party. Roma Downey, Burnett's wife, tweeted:

"Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event. Is your TV show worth it Tom? Please stop."

Tom wasn't having any of that:

"Bullsh*t. You lie your crazy husband attacked me you psycho. I'm filing police report & suing you for defamation."

You need to have character to be defamed.

#BackOffTheSauce

via GIPHY

#1 VONTAE DAVIS, former player for the Buffalo Bills

I guess sometimes enough is enough. But at least finish your "work day" before you clean out your locker. Davis up and flat-out retired from the team AT HALFTIME! His former team was losing to the Chargers 28-6. Those must've been magic I-need-to-quit-now numbers. Linebacker Lorenzo Alexander was stunned:

"It's just completely disrespectful to his teammates. He didn't say nothing to nobody. I found out going into the second half of the game. They said he's not coming out, he retired. That's it."

What did Vontae have to say?

"This isn't how I pictured retiring... but today on the field, reality hit me fast and hard. I shouldn't be out there anymore. I meant no disrespect to my teammates and coaches."

Not how you pictured it? Uh, you have control over your actions. You could've retired a million other ways. Douchetae said he didn't want to "keep sacrificing" over a long season. Last I checked, the pro football season is 16 games. So, if you do the math ahead of time there are 16 GAMES! Should've bowed out at the beginning. Before game one. It's unfair to everyone. And selfish. You couldn't wait 30 more minutes to quit?

#QuittersNeverWin

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(Fat) Shame (er) on You!

1/18/2018

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Offenders for the week ending January 19, 2018:

Well...

#3 DENNIS RODMAN

Some people never learn. You've been to alcohol rehab-- twice. You've struggled with addiction for a large part of your adult life. So why not booze-it-up and get in your car? Sigh. His manager thinks Rodman needs to re-enter some kind of treatment facility. Duh. Perhaps this is the truth: he's missing his snuggle buddy, Kim Jong Ick. He's longing for those nights of Netflix and chill; and braiding each other's (ass) hair... Or maybe he was meant to be ultra-alcohol friendly. With a nickname like "The Worm", perhaps he was destined to be the worm in a bottle of tequila...

Get yo stuffs together!

P.S. He's checked himself into rehab, again. Hopefully the third time's a charm...

"So I'm the assh*le?"

#2 BRITTANY CARTWRIGHT of reality TV show Vanderpump Rules

Second time on the list for the same offense. Apparently, the first "slap" did not wake you up! I know, I know. Your boyfriend, Jax Taylor (see the above pic), is a good guy deep inside, and you can change him. And... he was, like, really sorry. Really, really sorry.

After admitting to crotch wrestling with the couple's mutual friend and former co-worker, Faith, Jax was caught on a recording trashing his beloved girlfriend to said skank. In his post-coital confession, Jax said he cared about Brittany, but would never marry her... and that the two never had the happy-fun-time anymore. But he's been telling everyone how much he wants to marry B and have kids with her.

Egads! Why would you stay with this festering P.O.S.?

Is that sound of crickets...

I'm starting to think you're not the sweet Kentucky gal you're portraying, but an opportunist that is willing to divorce your self-esteem and worth to be entwined with a sociopath who treats you worse than a steamy pile.

"TELL ME I'M A FAT ASS!!!!"

#1 MEGYN KELLY

I lost all respect with this trashy trollop when she wore nothing more than a negligee to cover the RNC, then tried to claim she was harassed at Fox News. HA HA HA HA! This from a woman who (allegedly) snookered her mentor, Britt Hume. Well, she tried to change her image to a softer, kinder, likable lady. Again, HA HA HA HA! You can't polish a turd... Anywho, her latest faux pas?

Women want to be fat-shamed.

It worked for her when she was in college, courtesy of her stepdaddy:

Yes, there are times I call myself a "fat b*tch" while I'm working out. But I'm surely not going to ask someone else to call me a fat-ass when I'm reaching for sustenance. Is this how you parent your children, oh wise hoochie?

If that's the thang that works best for you, I guess we could all gather in a circle and yell insults at you so you can become a better person. That would make my day...

What should we call Megyn? Add your comments below if you'd like...

PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com

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Size Triple D

3/17/2017

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As in: diva, a dick, and a ditz...

Offenders for the week ending March 17, 2017:
This week's Slap-ees will receive an appropriate Irish saying.

Tanaka says: "I think I found what I lost in these here bushes..."

#3 MARIAH CAREY

Our favorite diva just can't get out of the hot mess vortex. Her modus operandi of securing constant male companionship continues. Her latest victim: dancer Brian Tanaka. We saw their re-connection on her reality show "Mariah's World." We also know that Mariah was engaged at the time to some international billionaire, but he didn't make enough time for her. So that opened the door for Tanaka to become Mariah's next manservant. Word has it she really wants to marry her young lover-- whether he wants to or not! She must believe that the third time's a charm...

"Mariah is already talking marriage and kids because she is absolutely enamored by this guy. She's convinced now that he's the one..."

Apparently, friends have been encouraging her to put the brakes on-- but Mariah don't listen to no one! In fact, she's shopping for engagement rings. Way to make this a transaction. Why not just have him give you a red-solo-cup-donation and call it a day. (wink, wink)

Mariah: Wake up, girl. Tanaka: you best moonwalk right out of her penthouse.

Your Irish Saying: (and this is for Tanaka) "If you want praise, die. If you want blame, marry."

"My lips are movin', so I must be lyin' about somethin'..."

#2 VANDERPUMP RULES STAR JAX TAYLOR

This perpetual man-child can't stop pouting when he doesn't get his way. This time he was at an event and wanted his picture taken with The Bachelor star Nick Viall. But Nick said he doesn't do social media. Then things got ugly:

"I have no f*cking idea who you are... Bro, you're on the f*cking Bachelor. You're gonna be gone in two weeks and nobody will know who the f&ck you are."

Ouchie. Then, he proceeded to call Nick an egotistical d-bag and much more-- to his face. Truth is, a ton of people wanted their picture taken with Nick and not Jax. Plus, Mr. Taylor had some "liquid courage" going on, which makes him extra loser-ish.

Nice, old-man-frat-boy. By the way, nobody would know who the f*ck you are, Jax-ass if it weren't for the show you're on. You're a nearly-40-year-old bartender!!!

Your Irish Saying: "May you live to be 100 years, with one extra to repent." (Think of all the years of trainwreck reality TV we'd get if he lived that long!)

"WikiLeaks on these, Julian!"

#1 PAMELA ANDERSON

She does like her bad boys. And the object of her love is WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. She's been spotted bringing him food at the Ecuadorean Embassy where he's been holed-up for the past four years to avoid extradition to Sweden on rape charges. And for all you naysayers out there, he's innocent until proven guilty.

"My Julian is the most intelligent, interesting, and informed man in existence."

The feeling is mutual:

"She's an attractive person with an attractive personality and whip-smart. She's psychologically savvy."

Oh, I bet she's good with a whip! Anywho, not everyone believes Pammy's intentions are true. One former associate had this tidbit:

"Pamela doesn't do anything unless she is getting paid... and a few years ago, she was pretty broke."

Noooooo! But she wrote this about her beloved. A poem entitled: "My Julian."

Pamela, Pamela, Pamela. Apparently there's some TitiLeaks going on. That implant juice has hit your brain.

Your Irish Saying: "It's easy to halve the potato where there's love."

PHOTO CREDIT:
Gifs www.giphy.com

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Peace Out!

(Fat) Shame (er) on You!

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