Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Dad. Joke.

12/3/2021

Offender for the week ending December 3rd, 2021:

#3 WILL SMITH

For whatever reason, I'm no longer Team Will. And I don't know why... maybe I sensed this story and that's a part of it? Anywho, Willie is on blast- thanks to comedian Langston Kerman. But why, you may wonder... for Will's silly dad jokes that he posts on the IG. Guess the jokes aren't Will's. In fact, he supposedly hires other comics to write the jokes, then makes them sign NDAs. Langston said:

"I know so many comedians who had to sign NDAs to help Will Smith write silly dad jokes for Instagram, and now this n*gga is out here talking about throwing up from p*ssy poisoning. Rich people are wild."

If you're scratching your head over this reference, Will just released an autobiography in which he admitted that he had sex with so many women that he developed a "psychosomatic reaction" to reaching the Big O, saying:

"It would literally make me gag and sometimes even vomit."

Well, some women have bat caves that are musty...

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#2 KATIE THURSTON, Reality TV Star/The Bachelorette

It's so amusing that people think they can find true love on a reality TV show. Love is hard (so to speak) to find IRL. But Katie gave the college try and found her fiancée Blake. For a hot minute. Cuz she done moved on to another bachelor from the same season, John Hersey. Who she sent home in week two. But they remained friends, and now are a thing. And Blake didn't see it coming:

“I really don’t think there was any physical cheating there, but there [was] clearly emotional [cheating] for it to transition as quickly as it did. I feel stupid and foolish for allowing it to happen, to some degree... I know they spent a lot of time together and stuff but there's just no way. I never had an inkling. I am just a very secure guy and I give my trust out 100 percent, especially to the person who I should be trusting the most."

Those Reality Steve rumors that Katie was spotted at the bar that John tends were true. Perhaps he was tending her hair bar, too. We'll see how long this one lasts. Because after watching the episode where we met Katie's mom and aunt, Blake is better off. Those two ladies are def men-haters. I imagined the duo going on a dick-ripping-off spree and making a big weenie roast.

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#1 AARON CARTER

This dude defines messy. Like, look up the phrase "shit show" in the dictionary. His picture is there. At least in our dictionary it would be. He and his fiancée, Melanie Martin, have called it quits. Oh... she just gave birth to their son. A week ago. But she had it coming because she talked to Aaron's family-- whom he's estranged. Per Hot Mess Aaron:

“There has been a very big lie and my sister communicating w my ex fiancé [SIC] ruined everything considering she knew what angel tried to do to me in court thanks angel (Aaron's twin) you ruined my family. God bless... I have the most conniving deceiving family and Melanie has been lying to me the whole time communicating with my twin sister and the family members who tried to put me in prison and who tried to get a conservatorship on me in court."

Did you get all that? And... Melanie is supposedly taking their son, named Prince, to Vegas. Not to play the slots, though that wouldn't shock me, but to live-- sans Aaron.

But remember, he's not crazy. I've met him before. Perhaps he's just a skosh cray. Or a dump truck full...

Devil's Advocate

4/2/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending April 2, 2021:

HONORABLE MENTION: Machine Gun Kelly. Dude was cheating on his hot-azz girlfiriend, Sommer Ray, with now-soulmate/girlfriend/effbuddy/equally-hot-azz Megan Fox. MGK and Megan met while filming "Midnight in the Switchgrass". Sommer was allowed to travel to visit the film set. But when MGK was filming the video for "Bloody Valentine," she was told to stay away because of the 'VID. Hhhmmmm...... Megan co-starred in that video, and then the two started dating soon "after". Shame on being a swingin' wangler, Machine Gun. Props though for tryin' to be smart by using COVID as an excuse. An excuse that's believable, until it's not...

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#3 THOMAS MARKLE

Can the Queen grant Prince Harry's FIL the title of Royal Wanker? Because he one-thousand percent qualifies. This dude has done nothing but cash in with tall tales about his daughter, Megan. There ain't a dollar he'll turn down to share "his side of the story". And now that Prince Harry and Megan's Oprah interview made some heads explode overseas, as well as stirred the shizz up stateside, well-- Tommy Boy wants his say. Again. Because he feels he was "misrepresented" and wants to clear things up.

So what did he do? He wrote a letter. Took time to actually write a letter and hand deliver it to Oprah's security detail in Monticello. I'm sure Oprah will respond... NOT!

Go. A. Way. You're such a POS. Nobody cares about you. You should care about having a real, private relationship with your daughter instead of trying to suckle off her teat for a drop of validation and fame. Sorry. You'll just have to settle for infamy.

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#2 JEN SHAH, cast member/Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

The loudest mouth on Bravo's newest "Housewives" show is in trouble with the law. Big time. And it was all caught on video while filming is underway for the second season. Shah and her personal assistant (IE: partner in alleged crime) Stuart Smith are charged in a national telemarketing scheme. According to Homeland Security:

"Shah and Smith flaunted their lavish lifestyle to the public as a symbol of their 'success'. (But) They built their opulent lifestyle at the expense of vulnerable, often elderly, working-class people."

Nothing pisses me off more than a dirty thief! Especially those that take advantage of the elderly. Older people have worked their entire lives and have lived a long time. Let 'em be!

Both are charged with conspiracy to commit wire fraud and money laundering-- which could garner 30-year and 20-year sentences. This only proves how dumb these "stars" are. You're on a reality TV show. We have the internet. There are cameras around you! You can't hide your assery!

Didn't you learn anything from fellow Housewives Star and fellow felon, Teresa Guidice-- who spent 15 months in prison? All your fake fabulousity won't keep you from prison, bitch.

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#1 LIL NAS X

Congratulations. Everyone's talking about you, Lil Nasty. I don't care how you live your life. But most people feel that promoting a bromance with The Devil is not tight-- like in your newest music video. Whether it's satire or not, or art or not-- messin' with Lucifer makes people uncomfortable. Add in some Satan shoes, and you've delivered a one-two punch to a fiery eternity.

Congratulations, Part Two: You've made a pile of cash on your Satan Shoes. You've made more than half-a-million bucks from selling-out 666 pairs at $1,018. Nike is pissed because you bought some Air Max '97s and demoned things up by adding human blood to each pair. Because nothing says cool like wearing blood. And whose blood was used, exactly? Are you some undercover killer with some corpses at your disposal? You rose to fame based on the extreme popularity of "Old Town Road"-- which became a kids' anthem, whether you liked it or not, despite your argument that the song has adult themes to it. Oh, but you liked the fame and notoriety. Now that parents are upset at you, you're flying your big ol' middle finger:

"U decided to let your child listen. blame yourself. I am an adult. i am not gonna spend my entire career trying to cater to your children. that is your job."

But you have no problem dictating and indoctrinating what you feel is important to said children. Okay.

You may not believe in a Higher Power, but most people believe in karma and reaping what you sow. What you've gained now is nothing. Why don't you really express your artistry and cutting-edge bullsh&t by doing something... religious? Oh, because spiritual stuff is stuffy but devil stuff is cool.

Enjoy that stripper pole ride to Hell... and the surprise party waiting for you.

Jose Cuer-no

3/19/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending March 19, 2021:

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#3 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

Khloe made a goal-- reunite with her baby-daddy Tristan Thompson for his 30th birthday. Well, she did! And now she's wearing a rather large rock on that finger. Sigh. Yes, you share a 3-year-old daughter. Yes, you want to have another baby with Tbag. But... do you really trust the dude that cheated on you with your sister's best friend? He's saying and doing all the right things right now. But when he's out on the road playing ball, who's playing with his balls?

His snake cannot be caged. Nor does he want it to be. I mean, look at who's Number Two on this list as a prime example...

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#2 ALEX RODRIGUEZ

What in the actual f&ck is wrong with you!?!? You are engaged to Jennifer-Friggin'-Lopez. Four. Years. Together. And Little ARod can't stop panty sniffing. You're a complete idiot. If you're going to jeopardize your relationship, could you at least not dip your wick into the reality TV ho-bag pool? While Madison LeCroy of Southern Charm is hot, she's no JLo! Sexting some THOT for funsies is just stupid. What are you trying to prove? That you've still got it? You will always "have it" because you're ALEX RODRIGUEZ. The Dead Sea Scrolls can't contain all the women you've wanged over the years.

I'm glad you and JLo are "working it out". Y'all are most likely working out splitting your assets while she's resisting splitting your ass in half with her Louboutin-adorned foot.

Wake up! Put your c*ck on lockdown before you ruin everything...

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#1 JOSE CANSECO

This broke down, steroid-ruined asshat only tops ARod because he's just so played out. What did this fool do? He decided to throw his hat into the ring for JLo's affections. Please. After taking to Twitter to call Alex "the most predictable person on the planet", he decided to shoot his shot for Jennifer:

"(she) needs a man that's by her side 24/7... (and is) older than she is."

Age has nothing to do with ARod's wangderlust. But there's more. Jose would....

"fight for (her)..."

But...

"(I've got) two town shoulders and a bad knee."

That's so... not eloquent. Who would want your powder puff penis at this point? Madonna was already there in your prime time. And being all up in that is kind of like walking barefoot through Grand Central.

Do us all a favor. Sit down. Shut up. Disappear.

Funbags & Moneybaggs

2/19/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending February 19, 2021:

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#3 Reality TV-er MADISON LECROY of Southern Charm (but that's not her in the GIF)

From spreading to rumors to possibly spreading her home-wrecking legs, this reality TV "star" knows the game-- out of sight, out of mind. So stay in "sight". From rumored affairs with Jay Cutler and A-Rod, and now getting that body tight and right for her prowling and pouncing. At least she admits to all her new plastic surgery-- unlike many celebs. Of course, she said it was not for vanity purposes:

"I never thought I would need, much less want, plastic surgery. However, after giving birth to a 10lb baby eight years ago, I no longer felt confident in my own skin... there are areas that don't quite bounce back to where they were originally."

You do you, boo. And apparently anything with a hang-low... I give her an "A" for keeping her name out there. Whether she's a ho or a no, she's getting some pub. That, and maybe a disease. Who knows?

P.S. Is a vaj rejuv next? Cuz we know that's like a 10-wide L.A.-type highway you got going there.

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#2 Rapper, MONEYBAGG YO

I don't know who in the af this is. And I'm okay with that. But with a name like "Moneybagg Yo" you deserved to be slapped. But the real reason you deserve to be slapped is your lack of awareness. See, Mr. Yo took to the socials to brag about all the money he's made during these "unprecedented times". You know, a time when people have lost their jobs, can't go anywhere, and some have died. Good times.

"... not gone lie I made a couple of Ms in da pandemic, ion want it to end. I feel like the pandemic help a lot of people."

It's helped us? Please drink a water tower-sized portion of STFU. We're all so glad the pandemic hit cuz life was just so sad and boring. The Bag tried to apologize after the socials raged against him, though:

"I apologize to everyone I offended my comment was very insensitive it was not my intent to hurt anyone."

Apparently, it wasn't your intent to use proper grammar, punctuation, spelling, and sentence structure, but you made your pile so, whatevs....

I really think your name should be Dickbagg Tho

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#1 GWYNETH PALTROW

I didn't find her irritating as an actress. But as a human and self-proclaimed lifestyle guru, I find her extremely not tolerable. From her pimping "affordable" $3,000 spring wardrobes, to coochie steaming, and candles that smell like her vaj, comes the latest-- a Gwynie designed "intimate massager."

She said she had a lot of time on her hands (so to speak) during the QT, so why not channel some good vibes for her channel? I, frankly, don't want to share any connection with this wench. And secondly, charging $95 for a vibe that looks like a giant lollipop ain't tight. Leave the good times to that Adam & Eve website. Stick to being what you're good at-- a self-absorbed, out-of-touch "elite."

It's not that you've really done something offensive to top The Slap this week, except existing in general. You're like a grain of sand in a clam-- but you don't turn into a pearl. You just give the clam an infection...

Mr. Massengil

2/12/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending February 12, 2021:

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#3 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

The Boss was sauced. It's been revealed that the rocker was arrested back in November at Gateway National Recreation Area in Jersey for having some adult beverage action. He was cited for DWI, reckless driving, and consuming alcohol in a closed area. He's due in court in the next few weeks. Such a shame someone who's recently been virtually signaling is one to behave not-so-virtuously. But such as it is with celebrities and people with fat wallets: "Do as I say, not as I do."

Perhaps he should write an acoustic album of drunken ballads and name it: Booze in the USA. And while you're at it, go ahead and eat a Tunnel of Love-size back of d&cks.

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#2 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

I appreciate and support the notion of redemption. But this dude has a history of slingin' is ding dong around willie nillie-- so to speak. Why subject yourself to potential heartache-- again? It appears the two are back together. She's forgiven him for cheating on her a couple of times and believes he's a changed man.

Okay.

And... it appears they want to give their 2-year-old daughter, True, a sibling. They have the frozen embryos ready to go. That's the best option, Khloe, because history does repeat itself. Get your baby, but toss the baby daddy. Remember: Take your heart out of this equation and keep his hard out of your pants!

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#1 SHIA LABEOUF

The douche extraordinaire finally makes a statement, sort of-- regarding the lawsuit filed against him by FKA Twigs (Tahliah Barnett). As we shared previously, she says she was subjected to physical, emotional, sexual and verbal abuse, courtesy of Shia. Now, he's responded-- through his attorney's prepared statement:

"(Shia) denies generally and specifically, each and every allegation contained in (Tahliah Barnett's) Complaint, denies that (Barnett) has sustained any injury or loss by reason of any act or omission on the part of (Shia), and denies that (Barnett) is entitled to any relief or damages whatsoever."

His lawyers say the charges should be dismissed because "none of the acts alleged were based on sex and/or the conduct was not sexual."

?

She's claiming sexual abuse as well. So... what in the af do you mean? Dude, please. You're a giant steamy turd pile. I know it's hard for you to accept, but you're not a quality human-- if you're human at all.

Nuthin' But A Dre Thing

11/6/2020

Let's raise our slap hands and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending 11/06/20:

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#3 MEGHAN FOX

Girl is flamethrowing-angry at her ex, Brian Austin Green. All because he posted a picture of himself and their youngest son, Journey, on his Insta for Halloween. The pic was so cute and fun and apparently-- infuriating. Meghan took to her Insta to light the match:

"You're so intoxicated with feeding the pervasive narrative that I'm an absent mother, and you are the perennial, eternally dedicated dad of the year. You have them half of the time. Congratulations, you are truly remarkable human!"

1. Retract them claws, pussycat.
2. Someone helped her with those big words.

Good for you that you don't post pics of your kids on the socials. We just get to see your latest wangbang, Machine Gun Kelly. And all the sick schmoopie-ness. Gag.

P.S. Don't Stop Believin'...

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#2 BETHENNY FRANKEL

Throwing an oak tree's worth of shade, Beth-y has a problem with Kim Kardashian's 40th birthday extravaganza. So much so, that she and her 10-year-old daughter mocked Kimmy through photos posted on social media. Bethenny and Bryn are seen striking a pose while sitting on top of their marble island in the kitchen. They wore matching sweaters and party sunglasses while holding cocktail glasses, surrounded by seashells, a tropical-scented candle, a stuffed flamingo and a bar sign.

"Took my family to my private (kitchen) island. #privileged #blessed #humbled #thisis50 #thisisme #turning50"

Damn! Kim K took a group of friends and family via private jet to a remote island for her celebration. Everyone was COVID tested. They had fun. I'm not one to ever defend a Kardashian, but who gives an eff? Seriously. Why the shade, Bethenny? Kim's got the million to drop on her party, so why not? Good for her! You've got the same kind of money, so you could do the same thing. Plus, dragging your daughter into your little shade show? Not cool. Way to teach your daughter to be petty and to brag about your humility. Ironic.

You posting pictures to show that you're not superficial shows how superficial you are. Pandering for birthday wishes?

Grow up.

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#1 DR. DRE

The messiest divorce award of 2020 may go to Dre and wife, Nicole Young. He says she signed a prenup in 1996, and she claims he tore it up in front of her in a romantic gesture. Plus, she was under duress when she signed it, and that would've made it void anywho.

So what's the big deal? $1 billion. That's what's up. He's worth so much more now, and she wants her piece. How is she going to do it? By showing the receipts. Nicole wants 3 of his mistresses to testify to get the 'nup overturned. Jillian Speer, Kili Anderson, and Crystal Sierra have hired a lawyer to fight Nicole. The lawyer says his clients have nothing to offer that would help enforce the pre-nup. (Obviously, the only thing they have to offer are their jayjays.)

Nicole is claiming Dre is guilty of "rampant and repeated marital misconduct."

That sounds about right.

Thinking out word: If there was a prenup filed, legally, then tearing up a piece of paper is just for show. Right?
More thinking: Is Dre buddies with Tiger Woods. Granted, Tiger had a lot more lady friends, but 3 ain't bad.
Even more thinking: Keep it in your pants, Dre!

Leaked

10/2/2020

Offenders for the week ending October 2nd, 2020:

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#3 DEMI LOVATO

They dated for four months before getting engaged. Now, Demi has dumped Max Ehrich after a two-month engagement, which means the relationship burned after six months. Yes, my head hurts over the whirlwind-ness of this deal:

"They were basically together 24/7 for months. They lived in a bubble with zero stress, and everything was just fun. Now they are both working and are on separate coasts. They were having conflicts."

Oh...

"In the beginning, Max was super careful about self-promotion (and ) things with his career, but once they got engaged, he really hit the gas pedal and wanted to make the most out of his career opportunities. He felt more comfortable doing so after they were fiancees and had a little bit more of a leg up."

So, she broke it off. And he found out from a tabloid story!

Come on, girl. I love ya, but you could've at least dumped him via text. If he was a complete asshat, then you should've spelled out "It's Over" with his stuff and then set that shizz on fire...

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#2 VANESSA MARCIL

Maybe she's looking to drum-up some acting gigs... Brian Austin Green's baby mama went public with support for Brian's soon-to-be-ex Megan Fox. She said:

"I actually have respect for how (Megan) is finally living her life for herself & leaving her children out of her public life at this young age."

Cool. But methinks her support is actually passive aggression, because she hates (dick)BAG:

"(he's a) very angry/sad human being who still has too much shame to take full responsibility for his actions as a father."

Damn.

Oh, and then she publicly said she never loved him. Really? Because you were engaged to each other. Perhaps she's still displeased that after her breakup with Brian, he started dating Megan and those two got married. Yes, you had an ugly custody battle. But continuing to drag doesn't help.

Zip it. Your kid will figure out on his own if his dad is a douche or not.

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#1 NENE LEAKES, soon-to-be former Cast Member/Real Housewives of Atlanta

Each of these "Housewives" series has a standout "star". NeNe has worn that crown since Day 1. But, she's no longer on the show (again), so people are talking about it-- like the show creator, Andy Cohen, and her "kind-of best friend" Wendy Williams. Wendy is a frequent slapee, known for opening her big mouth way too wide. She had this to say about NeNe's departure:

"NeNe has quit the show several times and you'll have her back (Andy Cohen). NeNe likes attention, dramatic attention. I don't know what (she's) going to be doing for money."

#Truth. Wendy also said that NeNe is no Bethany Frankel, who was a former New York housewife who turned her brand into a multi-million dollar empire. Well, this set NeNe into full pop-off mode on the socials:

"Both ther f ratings are LOW! Bye QUEENS. She on coaine so they should stop using her to talk! They both need my help with their poor ratings! I have ALWAYS believed in multiple streams of income so the Leakes are good, you ole cocaine head and you ole racist. No one knew you until YOU knew me. Remember I'm ICON."

?

Uhhhmmm... you're no icon. That's for people that have accomplished something worthwhile and memorable. You became famous because of this show. You've been afforded all kinds of opportunities because of Andy Cohen putting you on his show. You were a stripper who married an older man for his money. Then, you became ass-clownic.

Know where you came from and be grateful-- if you're able. It's gonna hurt not making the near-million dollars per episode. Maybe you should get up on that pole again...

Yellow Power

7/31/2020

Offenders for the week ending July 31, 2020:

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#3 THOMAS MARKLE

Oh, Thomas. You were *this* close to starting that process of reconciliation with your little girl, Meghan. But since you can't learn your lesson, you're probs going to get the freeze out. Again. Daddy of The Year most likely needed some cash money, so he turned to his favorite ATM-- the media. He recently told "The Sun" that his little girl and her hubs, the dude formerly known as Prince Harry, should stop whining:

"This is the worst time in the world for them to be whining and complaining about anything-- because people everywhere are suffering due to the coronavirus pandemic. I love my daughter, but I really don't appreciate what she's become right now."

Sigh.

Yes. A whole sh&tstorm is swirling. And yes, privileged folk should be the last to boo-hoo. But... ever hear of a phone? That's the device you can use to convey a message to a certain party without being messy. But messy is your middle name, so...

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#2 SMASH MOUTH

So, Taylor Swift sold 1.3 million copies of her latest record in 24 hours. Not surprising. The Tay Tay spell is forever floating amongst the masses, mesmerizing them into action. It's just the way it is. But Smash Mouth has taken exception to Tay's "Folklore" album, calling it:

"borelore"

Okay. Smash, who? Oh, that band from the early 1990s that had one hit song in a kid's movie: "All Star". Which you're not. Whether you like Taylor or not, she's a star. An all-ways star. Get it.

Uhmmm, your Tamagotchi is needing you, Mr. Mouth. And isn't your break over at the Quik Lube?

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#1 JEPH LOEB, former head honcho of Marvel Television

This guy isn't a celeb. But he's still a Hollywood set of d*ck lips. Daredevil star Peter Shinkoda claims his storyline was cut, along with another Asian actor because:

"Nobody gives a sh*t about Asian people."

That's probably true. Nobody thinks about us because while everybody is fighting each other, we shades of yellow are taking care of business. We hustle. We make our own way. We expect nothing from anyone and we kick ass with our work ethic. So, nobody may "give a shit" about Asians, but the next time you need your laundry washed or some yummy dim sum, or somebody to teach your lame ass that 1 + 1 = 2, you'll be looking for us Asians. And we'll help you out, because we know you're just an ignorant slut.

Congrats. You've gone and awoken my inner Angry Asian. And the half of me that is Asian has enough anger to kick your fossilized crotch up and out your nose.

You are precisely what's wrong with this country.

Catch me outside, bitch boy.

Ruding & Feuding

7/24/2020

Offenders for the week ending : July 24, 2020:

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#3 MICKEY ROURKE

This dude has always been odd. Excellent actor, but a touch (a lot) Looney Tunes-y. For whatever reason, he decided to re-ignite his feud with Robert DeNiro. Guess these two hated each other ever since they worked with each other on the film "Angel Heart" in 1987.

In a now "disappeared" post on the Insta, Mickster shared a pic of a young Bobby wearing a red jacket and smoking a cigarette-- with this heartfelt caption:

"Big (freaking) crybaby. Mr. Tough Guy in the movies. Let me tell you something, you punk ass, when I see you I swear to God on my Grandmother, on my brother and all my dogs, (I'm) gonna embarrass you severely 100 percent..."

?

Mmmmkay. I'm sure DoucheNiro doesn't care about you. In fact, y'all sound like two old dudes that need a nap and some antacid and some Tucks, and tapioca pudding to make everything feel better...

The only cool thing about this, is that your beef has extended into two centuries... Kudos.

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#2 50 CENT

Sometimes the support really isn't the offering of support. It's really just a way to get your foot in the door for some tea spillin'. Methinks this is the case when 50 DM-ed Will Smith to "check in" on him after Will and wife Jada Pinkett Smith aired their dirties about her "entanglement" with August Alsina for all the world to partake. ICYMI, August and Jada "entangled" for a few years while she and Will were on a marriage break. Dude claims Will gave him permission to smash. Now back to Half-Dollar, who had to make the DM exchange all public to try and play the victim of Will's venom, because things got ugly during the exchange. What set Will off? This:

"She (Jada) said only SHE can give permission for somebody to blow her back out."

Which received a "F*ck you 50" from Will.

What did you expect? You're known for being quite the Richard, throwing your hat into situations that have nothing to do with you. We see you, Fiddy. We. See. You. You've got no room to talk or question. You spent time in Chelsea Handler's Holland Tunnel, so...

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#1 ELLEN DEGENERES

Don't you hate it when something ends up being too good to be true? Or if someone appears so cool and perfect, but you have that gut feeling that said person is probably a POS? It appears all the rumors of Ellen being a big meany are true. Like, she's one nasty b. Crushing. Should've known mizz queen of "Be Kind" is just projecting a virtue she herself does not possess.

Story after story has emerged of her mistreatment of staff. Current and former staffers are laying it all out there:

Staffers faced racism. fear and intimidation
Employees were fired after taking medical leave or bereavement leave
You're not allowed to speak to Ellen around the office

And this from writer Ben Simeon:

"Every day she picks someone different to really hate. It's not your fault, just suck it up for the day and she'll be mean to someone else the next day."

And that's just a taste of the vinegar popsicle being fed around there. Staffers also have a bone to pick with Ellen's executive producers who are aware of the repulsive behavior, but allow it to continue.

Why don't you be nice to us, Ellen, by sticking your head up your own ass and disappearing. It's the kindest thing you can do.

Bee Gone

6/8/2018

Offenders for the week ending June 8, 2018:

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#3 TORI SPELLING

I don't know why this is such a difficult concept to grasp: make money, file taxes, pay taxes-- whether technically we need to or not, or whether or not it's fair-- just do it! I feel for ya, girl. You've got that deadbeat scrub for a husband, a cooky momma, and years of money woes. Adding more debt to the fire, Tori owes the State of California over $280,000 in taxes. She's made the list of the state's top tax delinquents.

I'm sure having no job and five kids is rough-- and no inheritance from your dad's passing, since your mom holds the purse strings and the two of you don't get along. But.... there are ways to get out of the hole. Stop overspending, make your man work for a living instead of riding off of your last name all these years, and get yo self a side hustle. Like make something and sell it on QVC. Like sausages or glittery sweater vests.

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#2 BILL CLINTON

You are like 50 Shades of Douche. So glad you decided to speak up about your impeachment in the midst of the Monica Lewinsky scandal and alllll the suffering you endured in light of the #MeToo movement. Wrinkled Willie cried about how he was $16 million in debt when he left the White House, and how facts are facts-- nothing would've changed, he wouldn't have done anything differently, and he surely doesn't owe Monica an apology:

She does deserve an apology from the man she loved and admired. Yes, she was a grown woman who was star-struck by you. And you gave her the attention she craved and then threw her under a bus the first chance you got. Such a horrific double standard. She was branded a dirty whore, while you were just a man gettin' some 'tang. You have your name, your cronies, your money to protect you. She had, and still has-- nothing. She's the never-ending pop culture punchline who struggles to have a personal relationship, a career, a life-- because of a foolish young woman's mistake.

Quite honestly, go eat a bag of sweaty d*cks.

You're so full of yourself and believe you're so untouchable. And maybe at this point, you are. But you won't be forever. No matter who you've bought and what soul-selling you've done, you can't escape the fires of Hell.

via GIPHY

#1 SAMANTHA BEE

Samantha Bee surely knows how to sting. I totally understand that there are a lot of Hollywood types that loathe our president. For whatever reason, you loathe a man who y'all once sucked up to when he was just a billionaire businessman but, I digress. And illogically, when you loathe someone, you loathe their entire family because why not? AND... you take some innocuous posting from said family member and turn it into something political. How original.

Our bumbled bee took a photo of Ivanka Trump and her son and decided to deride her over her daddy's immigration policy. Not a fact-based, intellectual relaying of opinion-- but a full-frontal gutter-sludge name-calling attack:

"Let me just say, one mother to another, do something about your dad's immigration practices, you feckless c*nt."

Wow. Your comedic prowess and wit really shone through on that one! But, as always, the offender is sorry:

"I would like to sincerely apologize to Ivanka Trump and to my viewers for using an expletive on my show to describe her... it was inappropriate and inexcusable. I crossed a line, and I deeply regret it."

Yank, yank. You don't. But that's besides the point. Here's a concept: since Mr. Trump is open to receiving Hollywood "leaders" with concerns (ie: Kim Kardshian) into the White House, why don't you float over there, and share your concerns about immigration? Because it's easier to use your platform to name-call than to try to actually be a catalyst for change.

You need swatted, Samanta Bee-yotch!

P.S. And another thing. I hate liberal hypocrisy. You stand up and march and cry out for female empowerment, but you decimate women that don't share your views and spew the most vile hatred towards them. Which is not empowering or supportive. Right? Maybe you're a feckless f*ck face.

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