Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior - Haus of V

Malik the Dee-ck

12/11/2020

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 11th, 2020:

#3 OLIVIA JADE GIANNULLI

The YouTube influencer (-ish) has broken her silence over her parents conviction in the Operation Varsity Blues scandal. She chose Jada Pinkett-Smith's Red Table Talk to share her innermost emotions, because she felt "safe" there (insert eye roll). She said that at the time of the scandal:

"When it first happened I didn't look at it and say, 'Oh my God like how dare we do this?' I was like, 'Why is everybody complaining? I was confused what we did.' That's embarrassing to admit."

That you're such a dumbass that you didn't know it was wrong to have your parents (Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli) pay $500 thousand to fake your resume and get you into USC? It's apparent you have no brains and no moral compass. Seems like, someone didn't teach you right from wrong. And you really have no clue how the real world works. Yeah. Listening to you ramble on about how sorry you are was vomit-inducing.

Look. You're not sorry. Because we got the receipts of how mad you were at your parents when the scandal broke because they ruined your life and that you lost endorsements... Waaaaah! But... she's turned over a new leaf, y'all. She says she's working with inner city youth, and plans to continue working with underprivileged kids moving forward.

Gonna pay their way into a top-notch school? Cuz methinks you're not a good example for any human. And.... can you be anymore cliche. "Working with underprivileged kids" just glares an even bigger spotlight on your privilege.

#2 LARSA PIPPEN

Why are you out so much? Because it's your season-- ho, ho, ho-bag! This tone-deaf trollop keeps posting stupid shizz on social media. After basically telling everyone to STFU about that picture of her holding hands with married NBA player Malik Beasley-- because we don't know the story, she's posting her sympathies to those "dealing with heartache." Oh, you mean like Montana Yao-- Malik's wife. Are you praying for her, too?

"God, I pray for healing & comfort for anyone dealing with heartache. I pray that they find refuge in You in the midst of their pain. May You continue to give them the strength to keep going. To push through these dark moments & know You are with them every step of the way."

Wow. Bitch, sit down! And please stop bringing God into your trampdom.

What's next? Are you gonna play the victim and say that Malik lied to you and said what? That he and his wife were on the outs? So it's okay to wang tango with him? And you wonder why the drama-loving Kardashians want nothing to do with you... you give messy a bad look.

P.S. Close your legs to married men-- especially those as old as your son. Vurp.

#1 MALIK BEASLEY

The NBA baller was perhaps balls-deep in Larsa Pippen. That's bad enough. Because of the whole "I'm married". But what's more repulsive is that this low-life cheating poon chaser kicked his wife and their 2-year-old son out of the family home. Why? Because his wife dared file for divorce because he was caught cheating. Montana Yao took to social media to say:

"(We) were told to leave our family home ten days ago, and just like you all, I'm pretty confused."

The victim getting shamed because she stood up for herself and their child. It's one thing to be a complete ween to your spouse... but to throw out your own flesh and blood? There aren't enough bad things that could happen to you to make up for this. We could start with ripping your balls off, setting them ablaze, and shoving them up your ass... then throwing salt on your wounds. Sounds so magical...

You're exactly the kind of wasted genetic material that gives men a bad rep. Take his card back, gents! Toss him out of your "club" called manhood.

Jaded

8/13/2020

Offenders for the week ending August 14th, 2020:

#3 OLIVIA JADE

What's that sound? It's the sound of a privileged brat stewing in silence at her dumbass rich mommy. Her relationship with Lori Loughlin is still on the mend after that whole Operation Varsity Blues Scandal. What is O. J. exactly upset about? That Mommy Mensa-less got caught? Or that her mom believes both her daughters are so moronic that she had to bribe someone to get them into college? Or that it's known she's equally not gifted in the brains department. But things aren't all bad. Olivia is really:

"... proud of her mom for pleading guilty... to face the consequences for (their) actions."

Awesome. And poor Olivia is taking one day at a time:

"Olivia Jade is now trying to move forward with her career as an influencer and YouTube star but knows that for a while she might face some struggle."

Girl, you have no idea what struggle is.

What's that sound? It's the sound of us real people not giving a f&ck about you.

#Uninfluenced

#2 JUSTIN HARTLEY

Break ups can be nasty. But they can be classy-- if you choose so.

Apparently, Justin (of "This is Us" fame) took the low road well traveled, and a storyline that sounds like something his character Kevin would've pulled. He decided his marriage of two years was over, so he filed for divorce. Then he told his wife, Chrishell Stause, that he filed the paperwork- via text message.

WTF!?!?

I get that we're all "face in phone" living. But you could've done the one-up-not-as-low-class thing and called her on the phone. Apparently, the two had been struggling-- but no one knows the reason behind the split. Regardless, still lowdown low.

Maybe she'll send you a box of dicks as a response...

#1 TYRESE

On Fat Joe's podcast, Tyrese gave R Kelly kudos for staying relevant and reinventing himself through the years, even though R has " a lot of controversy and heat on him." By "controversy" and "heat", do you mean pedophilia?

Seriously.

Fat Joe questioned whether it was cool to bring up the good points as R Creepy awaits trial on multiple sex charges. Of course it's cool in the Tyreseverse.

"If I were to find out, what everyone is into, we probably wouldn't be a fan of anybody. When you have drug problems, you are alcoholic, or you got vices that may be inappropriate or whatever the case may be, you're just trying your best to do whatever it is that you're doing hoping people don't find out about it."

There's a big difference between drugs and booze and raping and degrading children. Yeah. Praising a known POS for the way he's dodged the law, basically, and manages to still have fans is not the way to live. Perhaps you need to keep an eye on your kids and women, lest some other famous person with some kind of "vice" is coming for yours.

By the by, what the hell are you into? Since everyone is into something...

Finger Lickin' Good

12/6/2019

Offenders for the week ending December 6, 2019:

#3 JOE BIDEN

This has nothing to do with politics, but everything to do with bizzare-ness. While on a campaign stop, wife Jill was at the podium doing her talky-thing. Like many of us, she speaks with her hands. And apparently, her hands are delicious, because when she stretched out her hands, Joe leaned forward and nibbled on the tip of one of his wife's fingers.

She laughed it off. Does that mean it's happened before? He's into fingers? Perhaps she smelled of fried chicken? Had Cheetos residue on her fingers, so he was helping her out?

Or perhaps this was something you and your "butt buddy Neil" did back in your frat days. No judgement here...

#2 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

Why the hate for your stepmom Caitlyn Jenner? According to Caitlyn's memoir, the two haven't spoken much in the past six years. Was it because of Caitlyn's transitioning?

"I started (by telling) Brandon (Jenner) my son (when I was transitioning), and he said to me: 'Dad, I've always been so proud to be your son but I've never been more proud of you than right now."... I went through every kid and Khloe, for some reason, was pissed off about something through this whole process... We were really close, I raised her since she was five years old. I really don't know what her issues are."

It's sad, because most parents love their children no matter what. No matter if there are disappointments, or if they don't see eye-to-eye on something. Perhaps, Khloe, as a parent-- you can see things from the other's perspective. Surely over the course of your life thus far you've done something a parent would raise an eyebrow to (your marriages), but your parents still communicated with you.

Can't we all just get along? Life's too short.

#1 OLIVIA JADE

The daughter of disgraced actress Lori Loughlin and designer Mossimo Gianulli is baaaaack. Whew! All is right in the world! (note the sarcasm.) The non-college attendee/internet "star" is missing her adoring public.

"Obviously, I've been gone for a really long time and as much as I wish I could talk about all of this, it's really hard for me to say this, just because I know that it's something that needs to be addressed."

Deep.

By the way, her YouTube channel is all about clothing hauls and vlogs. Sure, she misses her "public." More like she's missing out on her endorsement cash and wants back in the influencer game. Poor, rich little brat. I'd be embarrassed to know that my parents think I'm so stupid they have to (allegedly) bribe and lie (allegedly) to get me into college...

Twit Epidemic

8/16/2019

Offenders for the week ending August 16, 2019:

#3 THOMAS RAVENEL, former Southern Charm castmember

People can be hateful, hell-bent on destroying someone else. And people with privilege and money are even more hateful because they feel they can get away with it. This disgraced former politician served time in a federal prison for intent to sell a large amount of cocaine. He's been accused multiple times of assaulting women. He was exited from a reality TV show. And now, he won't stop fighting his baby momma, Southern Charm castmember Kathryn Dennis-- whether in court or via social media. This dude is on a smear campaign and is determined to hurt her every way he can.

Kathryn's mother recently died after a long battle with cancer. So, this psycho ass hat felt it was the perfect opportunity to kick someone when they're down. On the day of this woman's passing, Rapenel (alleged) posted a picture of his mother with his children by Kathryn on Twitter. Low blow. One Twitter follower called him out:

"Really? Timing is everything. You suck more every day."

True. Perhaps he'll go back to prison and suck whatever every day.

#2 OLIVIA JADE

This bratty rectum fungus has made a major life decision. She's not going back to USC! You know, that university that her mommy and daddy (Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannuilli) lied and cheated (allegedly) to get her into. She's now going to return to her career as: Social Media Influencer.

"She never wanted to attend USC to begin with, and now she is sure that USC isn't the place for her. Right now her goal is to rebuild her brand and business."

Good luck. She lost a ton of jack after brands dropped her during the scandal. Her "people" are trying to convince her to start her own brand of something-- cosmetics, clothing. Whatevs. But since she has no ethics, perhaps her brand should test on animals, make clothing in sweatshops, etc... Here's an idea-- She could pimp things for liars: burner phones, clean urine samples, Ashley Madison subscriptions....

Here's another idea: Eat a large bag of dicks.

Speaking of eating some Oscar Mayer, Miley is apparently done with meat and is going vajeegan. After less than a year of marriage to Liam Hemsworth, she's decided to call it quits. In a mutual statement:

"Ever-evolving, changing as partners and individuals, they have decided this is what's best while they both focus on themselves and careers. They still remain dedicated parents to all of their animals they share while lovingly taking this time apart. Please respect their process and privacy."

Privacy? This cooch waffle is nothing but an open-spread-eagle book. How many times have we been tortured with pics of her crotch? And that damned tongue sticking out of her stupid head! Anywho, she left her hot hubs for Brody Jenner's ex-wife Kaitlynn Carter. Miley and Kaitlynn took a girl's trip to Italy, and when they returned-- Miley dumped Liam. What a coincidence.

Seriously, who would ever want to be near this petri dish? Like the air around her would be heavy with funk. You really are a virus, Cyrus. MRSA times a thousand. How much penicillin will it take to wipe you from the planet?

Jade-Ed

5/24/2019

Offenders for the week ending May 24, 2019:

#3 WENDY WILLIAMS' SOON-TO-BE-EX KEVIN HUNTER

Divorce can be a messy business. But don't involve the children. No matter what their age may be. Kevin and his son with Wendy, Kevin Jr, went to a store close to their home to pick some things up. Cool. What wasn't cool is that the man and his 18-year-old son got into a physical altercation in the parking lot. But, daddy won't be pressing charges.

"I love my son very much and I will not be pursuing this matter legally. Things are not how they appear."

What appearance is that? That you're trying to influence your son to turn on his mother by saying she's a brainwasher? Not cool. The kid is grown and able to make a judgement call on his own. Perhaps he's not cool with you cheating on his mom and fathering a love child. Ouch.

#2 ELLE FANNING

We get it. When you've got to look on-point, you do what's necessary. Hello, Spanx! But this is taking it too far. Elle fainted during a dinner at the Cannes Film Festival. Why? Because girlfriend's vintage Prada dress was too tight.

"Oops, had a fainting spell tonight in my 1950's Prada prom dress but it's all good!"

She says she was bloated because Aunt Flo was in town. We feel ya. We gain five temporary pounds every month. It sucks. But so does squeezing yourself into a dress that's going to cut off your circulation, dumbass. There aren't any vintage pant suits?

Here's a thought-- wear something else!

#1 OLIVIA JADE

This spoiled, bratty, unappreciated little bitch is now all whiny and crying and wanting to go back to college. The same college that her parents (actress Lori Loughlin and fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli) cheated and lied to get her into. The same college that she previously didn't care about going to.

"She didn't get officially kicked out and she is begging the school to let her back in. She knows they (USC) won't let her in, so she's hoping this info gets out. She wants to come out looking like she's changed, learned life lessons and is growing as a person, so she for sure wants people to think she is interested in her education."

That's laughable. Born-privileged people who are douchebags never change their douchebag ways. Because they don't have to. The same chick that doesn't have the goods to get into school has no need for school, not when you're a "social media influencer" making stupid amounts of money. The life lesson? Don't get caught. This is the same 'gina wad that wouldn't talk to her mom because she "ruined my life!"

Here's a lesson for you: shut your legs, open your mind, zip yo lip and f&ck off. Capisce?

Dummy Bs

3/29/2019

Offenders for the week ending March 29, 2019:

#3 CARDI B

I love me some Cardi B. And it has nothing to do with her music. She's a hot mess who's the queen of mis-speaking. And it's all gold. This time she makes the list for regaling us with stories of her time as a stripper. Not because she was a stripper, but the things she did as a stripper. A 3-year-old video resurfaced with this tidbit:

"I had to go strip, I had to go, 'Oh, yeah, you want to f&ck me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go back to this hotel... I drugged n&ggers and I robbed them. That's what I used to do."

Classy. But most strippers aren't Demi Moore in Striptease. In light of her felonious admission, fans starting using the hastag #SurvivngCardiB, like #SurvingRKelly. Well, Ms. B was not pleased.

"So I'm seeing on social media that a live I did 3 years ago. A live where I talked about things I had to do in my past right or wrong that I felt like I needed to do to make a living. I never claim to be perfect or come from a perfect world wit a perfect past I always speak my truth I always own my sh*t."

Bravo. But there's a difference between making a living and ripping someone off and breaking the law.

Minor detail, Cardi Bitch.

#2 MEL B

No wonder they coined you "Scary Spice"-- cuz we're all afraid of what is going to come out of your mouth! Personal matters are meant to stay personal. Pillow talk occurs at the pillow, and should stay there. And for the love of all things sacred, if you're going to dish about what hot dishes you've eaten, then make sure all parties are okay with it!

The "B" in Mel be should stand for "bomb dropping", since she revealed in a recent interview that she once bumped muffins with fellow Spice Girl, Ginger (Geri Halliwell) Spice.

"She's going to hate me for this because she is all posh in a country house but it wasn't a 'thing.' It just happened, we just giggled at it and that was it. We were best friends. It just happened."

Fine. But don't talk about it, then say Geri won't deny the story. Guess what? She's pissed. And, Mel's own husband wishes she'd keep both sets of lips shut! Meanwhile, Mel B admitted to also kissing Sporty Spice-- but it wasn't sexual.

Can we make her Silent Spice?

#1 OLIVIA JADE

The privileged, spoiled, delusional offspring of Lori Loughlin is now not speaking to her parents after the college cheating scandal that she's the "innocent victim" of. She's also blaming her parents for the end of her career as a... model? YouTuber? Whatever she does?

"Now that her endorsement deals have fallen through she is very upset with her parents. Olivia blames her mom and dad for this scandal and for the downfall of her career."

First, you're only famous because your parents are. You have a career because your mom's famous eggs got fertilized by your fashion designing daddy's sperm.

Second, your endorsement deals dried up because companies can only associate with assh*les for so long.

Third, if you would've given two sh*ts about college your parents wouldn't have done what they did. Wrong as it is, they love you.

And most importantly, what you do is not a career. You didn't train. You didn't study (obviously). Everything was handed to you, including your ass.

I'd shed a small tear for you, but I'm fresh out of f*cks to give. Enjoy your career of pouting.