Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Richardfest

2/18/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending February 18th, 2022:

This week, three former Kardashian significant others dominate this damn thing!

#3 LAMAR ODOM

Khloe Kardashian's ex-husband has had a rough go of life. This dude effed up his marriage to Khloe, then nearly died from a relapse into drugging and drinking. Now, while a part of the Celebrity Big Brother house, he's admitted that he wants another chance. With Khloe. Oh. Hell. No. Glad he realizes what he lost, tho:

“I never thought about getting married again. I didn’t treat that good woman right.”

One of his co-stars then encouraged him to reach out to the family once filming is done.

Look. Reach out and do your apology tour. Then-- go away. Work on yourself and finding a healthy relationship.

And this is for you Khloe-- DON'T.

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#2 KANYE WEST

Some people like to spend the weekend just chillin'. But Kim Kardashian's soon-to-be-ex used the weekend to turn his Twitter account into an anti-Pete Davidson tribute. Ye decided to tell the world that Kid Cudi is off his new "Donda" album because he's friends with Pete. KC responded:

“You're whack for flipping the script and posting this lie just for a look on the internet. You ain't no friend. BYE."

But this didn't stop Kanye, oh no! He brought Pete's ex, Ariana Grande into the mess, as well as calling Pete "Hillary Clinton's ex-boyfriend." What does that even mean? Anywho, he then posted a photoshopped movie poster of "Fight Night" as a "West versus Davidson" battle, and then photoshopped a "Captain America: Civil War" poster to take shots at a bunch of other people.

Take. Your. Meds.

He apparently did that, and decided to literally buy a truckload of flowers for Kim.

Keep it up, and she's gonna put them on your grave.

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#1 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Another Khloe ex with this one. This wandering wangster wanged Maralee Nichols and now he has a nearly-2-year-old son-- that he tried to deny-- but then admitted to in January. When he was forced to fess-up to his wick-dipping, he said he would do the right thing and take care of his son. But guess what? This from a rep for Maralee:

“Despite news reports stating otherwise, Tristan Thompson has done nothing to support their son. He has not made any attempt to meet their son nor has he provided any financial assistance.”

Not shocking. His whole attitude previously revolved around the fact that he won't be playing basketball anymore so he doesn't have basketball money to support a kid.

Then you should've wrapped your snake.

Your child at least deserves your money. Because you're pretty worthless. Do the right thing for once. And not just care about the kid you had with Khloe, because you want to suckle off the Kardashian teat some more.

Massengil Time

1/7/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending January 7th, 2022:

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#3 JAKE PAUL

There's a scent of vinegar in the air. Must mean a Paul brother is around...

Jake says he'll leave the world of boxing if UFC president Dana White agrees to his list of demands:

"1) Increase min fighter pay per fight to $50K (it's $12K now); 2) Guarantee UFC fighters 50% of UFC annual revenues ($1bn in 2021); 3) Provide long term healthcare to all fighters (you previously said brain damage is part of the gig…imagine the NFL said that). There are many UFC alums who have publicly said they are suffering from brain damage."

Great that you have a "cause", though your sincerity is in question since you're just a famous attention whore. And calling yourself a "boxer" is quite the loose interpretation.

P.S. What do we have to do to get you to retire from humanity?

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#2 TRISTAN THOMPSON

What does Maury Povich say? You ARE the father! It's not like any of us doubted that. Maralee Nichols was right all along. And now Tristan has confirmed his happy (?) news via the socials.

“Today, paternity test results reveal that I fathered a child with Maralee Nichols. I take full responsibility for my actions. Now that paternity has been established, I look forward to amicably raising our son.”

And... he apologized to Khloe Kardashian-- who is one of his baby mommas-- who he tried to "reconnect with" and maybe even have another child with...

“Khloé, you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve the heartache and humiliation I have caused you. You don’t deserve the way I have treated you over the years.”

Exactly.

P.S. Do you have a bet with Nick Cannon about who can father more kids?

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#1 JASON DERULO

Jason got into a scuffle with two people in Vegas the other night. Why? Because someone mistook him for Usher. At the Aria resort, Jason threw a punch and connected with a man's face after he claims he was cursed at and called Usher.

The victims did not press charges. Jason was asked to leave.

Dude... there are worse people you could be called. Like, Chris Brown. The Situation. Any member of LFO. At least Usher is hot and has had a lot of hits.

P.S. Since you sing your name at the beginning of most of your songs, you should just walk around singing your name IRL so people won't think you're Usher.

Mr. Pig

12/24/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 24th, 2021:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Well lookie who's raising his hand now? Only because the evidence cannot be disputed. You ARE the father! T-Dog admitted that he a "sporadic" (do you mean "sploogeradic", ongoing sexy time with Maralee Nichols. Who recently gave birth to a baby boy. But... Tristan isn't admitting the baby is his. Mmmmkay. He said in paperwork to counter paying child support:

“We did not have any dates in the traditional sense at any time; there were no dining at restaurants, going to movies, traveling or any other indicia of a normalized relationship. There was only Snapchats of 'where' and 'what time' we would hook up and what hotels would be used."

Right. You can't get pregnant from dinner, even if she was eating "meat". Duh! Hookups unprotected can create a baby. Did you miss health class in junior high?

We'll see who's the papa. Right, Tristan?

#controlledbyhissnake

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#2 BEN AFFLECK

Oh, Ben. You were looking so good until you opened your mouth and threw shade at your ex, Jennifer Garner. Their marriage ended on good terms. But Ben said he'd still be a drunk if he had stayed married to her. And then he left it at that without further explanation. What he claims he meant to say was this:

“We probably would’ve ended up at each other’s throats.I probably still would’ve been drinking. Part of why I started drinking was because I felt like I was trapped."

Ouch. Considering your ex-wife drove you to rehab-- even after your divorce-- and has been a stand-up kinda gal. This is shady. Because it sounds like she was the reason you have addictions.

Ben claims his words were misconstrued. And supposedly Ben's current Jen (Lopez) is furious at his loose lips. She doesn't like messy. And this is messy. A source said:

"They both agreed that they wouldn’t talk about their private lives in any depth after what happened last time they were together."

And JLo is trying to build a good relationship with Ben's kids. This doesn't help.

#onceadumbassalwaysadumbass

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#1 CHRIS NOTH

Well, it appears Mr. Big is Mr. Pig. And Just Like, as the Sex and the City sequel dropped-- so did allegations of sexual misconduct from three women... and a whole slew of stories about his alleged abuse and anger issues. A spokesperson for Noth denies any wrongdoing:

“The story is a complete fabrication, and the alleged accounts detailed throughout read like a piece of bad fiction. As Chris stated yesterday, he has and would never cross that line."

Zoe Lister-Jones, who encountered him while working on Law & Order, called him a sexual predator. And his ex-girlfriend, Beverly Johnson, got a restraining order against him after he:

“punched [her] in the chest and ribs”

And threatened to kill her. Allegedly.

His agent dropped him. A deal to sell his tequila line fell through. And his current wife is no longer wearing her wedding ring, and will probably spend the holidays without him-- as he's hiding out in New York.

Where there's smoke, there's fire.

#byebig

Duggareffer

12/10/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 10th, 2021:

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#3 CHRIS CUOMO

Karma is big ol' nasty beyotch! And this disgrace to Italians is now unemployed. Gettin' the old sack-ola for trying to help his equally pube-y bro, Andrew, against sexual harassment allegations. Oh, and speaking of harassment... CNN received word that an unnamed woman retained an attorney and is coming forward to accuse Chrissy of sexual misconduct while he was at ABC.

Guess it's in the genes (jeans.)

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#2 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Perhaps Khloe Kardashian will be 100% done now with her baby daddy, since Tristan allegedly fathered a child born earlier this month. So let's do the math... carry the 1 and divide by... yeah, Tristan was gettin' busy with new baby momma while trying to reconcile with Khloe. In fact, TDog and Khloe were considering trying for another child together. Tristan is denying his paternity, but he sent this text to the mother of his newest child:

"If you think having this baby is gonna make you some money, you're completely wrong. You are aware that I'm retiring after this season. So in terms of support it will be whatever is required monthly for someone who is unemployed."

He then (allegedly) offered her a one-time payment of $75,000. Fortunately, this wandering wang will be on the hook for all the support. Because even though she got preggo while in Houston during Triscuit's 30th birthday celebration, she moved to Cali and then filed her lawsuit. Texas won't have jurisdiction. California will. Pay up, sucka!

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#1 JOSH DUGGAR

Touching underage humans-- including your own sister-- is just how you roll. And hopefully, your stank ass will roll right on into a prison cell. A witness for the prosecution in his child porn trial had the most explosive testimony. Bobye Holt testified that Josh confessed to her that he had molested young girls when he was a teen. The defense tried to say her memory was sketch, but she fired back:

"You don't forget something like that."

Boom. Yeah. Complete POS. There isn't a punishment severe enough for a child perv. None. Even ripping off your ween and beating you with it isn't enough. Like, burning in the 1-millioneth ring of hell isn't enough... Can't wait for your sentencing.

"A" Stands For...

7/16/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 16, 2021:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON & LAMAR ODOM

Khloe Kardashian's exes got into a public pissing match over a hot outdoor shower pic of Khloe. Both dumbass dudes posted flirty comments on her pic, but when Tristan noticed Lamar posted flirty stuff, too, well...

Tristan replied to Lamar's "hottie" comment with:

"@lamarodom God brought you back the first time. Play if you want, different results."

Children, please. You both are known eff-ups. And you both are permanently in the Ex Zone. Nice try. Now, back to your regularly scheduled philandering and drugging.

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#2 BILL COSBY

Now that this jailbird is free, he's looking to sue Pennsylvania for incarcerating him. And sadly, he'll probably win. If that weren't vomit-inducing enough, this pudding pop f*cker wants to work. As in, on the comedy circuit. Sadly again, someone will probably book him because any publicity is good publicity.

What's your material gonna be about? Those fun times when you drugged the drinks of unsuspecting women, then assaulted them? When you'd preach to young comedians to stop playing blue when you were playing pharmacist? You didn't get the nickname Pill Cosby for nothing.

Most people with any sense of morals or ethics would not support this POS.

Karma can't come for this guy soon enough. Maybe he'll accidentally walk in front of a speeding bus...

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#1 STEPHEN A. SMITH

You'd think one minority group would be respectful and aware of other minority groups. But life doesn't work that way for some. There's always a flexing of superiority of one group over another, especially if one minority group doesn't speak English well.

Case in point, Japanese superstar baseball player Sohei Ohtani uses an interpreter when interviewed. But ESPN commentator Stephen A. Smith-- an African-American, struck out with his need to point out that he needs a translator "so you can understand what the hell he's saying."

But now, he's sorry.

"In this day and age, with all the violence being perpetrated against the Asian community, my comments-- albeit unintentional-- were clearly insensitive and regrettable. As an African-American, keenly aware of the damage stereotyping has done to many in this country, it should've elevated my sensitivities even more. Based on my words, I failed in that regard and it's on me, and me alone."

Keenly aware? Go cancel yourself. You know why we're just recently aware of Asian hate? Because Asians don't talk about it. We just go and work our asses off and deal with the ignorance. But now, we live in a world where Asians aren't the "right" minority, facing even more discrimination when it comes to including minorities. So, when some asshat from another minority group wants to disparage us-- go eat a large back of rotting d*cks.

We know you're not really sorry. You just don't want to look bad. Don't worry, you won't. You're teflon for all the wrong reasons.

P.S. Apparently, the "A" stands for "assh&le".

Jose Cuer-no

3/19/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending March 19, 2021:

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#3 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

Khloe made a goal-- reunite with her baby-daddy Tristan Thompson for his 30th birthday. Well, she did! And now she's wearing a rather large rock on that finger. Sigh. Yes, you share a 3-year-old daughter. Yes, you want to have another baby with Tbag. But... do you really trust the dude that cheated on you with your sister's best friend? He's saying and doing all the right things right now. But when he's out on the road playing ball, who's playing with his balls?

His snake cannot be caged. Nor does he want it to be. I mean, look at who's Number Two on this list as a prime example...

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#2 ALEX RODRIGUEZ

What in the actual f&ck is wrong with you!?!? You are engaged to Jennifer-Friggin'-Lopez. Four. Years. Together. And Little ARod can't stop panty sniffing. You're a complete idiot. If you're going to jeopardize your relationship, could you at least not dip your wick into the reality TV ho-bag pool? While Madison LeCroy of Southern Charm is hot, she's no JLo! Sexting some THOT for funsies is just stupid. What are you trying to prove? That you've still got it? You will always "have it" because you're ALEX RODRIGUEZ. The Dead Sea Scrolls can't contain all the women you've wanged over the years.

I'm glad you and JLo are "working it out". Y'all are most likely working out splitting your assets while she's resisting splitting your ass in half with her Louboutin-adorned foot.

Wake up! Put your c*ck on lockdown before you ruin everything...

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#1 JOSE CANSECO

This broke down, steroid-ruined asshat only tops ARod because he's just so played out. What did this fool do? He decided to throw his hat into the ring for JLo's affections. Please. After taking to Twitter to call Alex "the most predictable person on the planet", he decided to shoot his shot for Jennifer:

"(she) needs a man that's by her side 24/7... (and is) older than she is."

Age has nothing to do with ARod's wangderlust. But there's more. Jose would....

"fight for (her)..."

But...

"(I've got) two town shoulders and a bad knee."

That's so... not eloquent. Who would want your powder puff penis at this point? Madonna was already there in your prime time. And being all up in that is kind of like walking barefoot through Grand Central.

Do us all a favor. Sit down. Shut up. Disappear.

Goober

11/13/2020

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending November 13th, 2020:

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#3 LARSA PIPPEN

The ex-wife of former NBA legend Scottie Pippen is back in the spotlight after spilling her own tea on her own messy sitch with the Kardashian sisters. Guess Larsa used to be Kim's bestie, and now the entire family doesn't speak to her. And it's all Kanye's fault:

"Maybe because I blocked him on my phone because I couldn't bear taking his calls anymore... So, he turned that into, 'Oh, she's this and she's that.' They all started to ride his wave. If you're that easily swayed, like the wind, then do I really give a f&ck? Should I give a f&ck?"

Apparently you give two f&cks, because you're talking publicly about it. Then, in your little podcast confessional you said how you've been through so much with the family and you will always love them. Blah, blah, blah, and you feel like one day you can all reconcile. Methinks you opening your trap (and perhaps your legs to Khloe's on-again-off-again meat deliverer, Tristan Thompson) isn't the way to get back in there.

A phone call or good ol' fashioned letter might be more appropriate. Or better yet, take your skank ass back to Hoe Town and let it go...

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#2 CLARE CRAWLEY, former title "character" from The Bachelorette

As predicted, Clare has left her season of the reality TV show-- 4 episodes in. Because she fell in love with former NFL wide receiver Dale Moss in 4 seconds. Literally. The moment he stepped out of the limo to meet her she said he was her future husband. Yes, the two are engaged and now shopping for bi-costal homes. And of course, there are babies in the future!

What?

She is on the warp-speed path now that she's got a man on lockdown. In one of the most uncomfortable moments from this week's show, host Chris Harrison checked in with the couple and asked what was next for them. Clare quickly, and manically shouted out: "BABIES!" And then, there was silence. From Dale. And the viewing audience. We get it, Clare. You were the oldest Bachelorette at 39 and that damned bio clock is ticking loudly. But you need better game. At least play an under-the-radar-psycho and put holes in the condoms.

Run Dale. You've got skills. I was all #TeamClare, but now I'm afraid for you.

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#1 JEFFREY TOOBIN

If you recall, the writer for The New Yorker was suspended three weeks ago after he was caught opining-- actually, o-penising-- on camera during a Zoom meeting with co-workers. Yup. He was handling his Oscar Mayer. It's not that he meant to choke the chicken on camera. See, he thought he had turned it off, but... Seriously, dude. Are you a stupid, pimply teenage boy that can't wait until your meeting is over to put in your piece for the New Yanker? What inspired you during this meeting? One of your co-workers? Vurp. Anywho, Goobin and his employer have consciously uncoupled:

"I was fired today after 27 years as a Staff Writer. I will always love the magazine, will miss my colleagues, and will look forward to reading their work."

I'm sure you'll be jerkin' the gherkin while "reading their work." Seems he was trying to stroke some sympathy with his social media post. Let's see who feels sorry for this jerk (off).................................................................................................No one.

You know people are gonna forever yell "hand check" at you, don't you?

Box Off

6/14/2019

Offenders for the week ending June 14, 2019:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Not only is Tristan a no-good, trouser wanderer, but he's the king of double standards. The former flame and baby daddy of Khloe Kardashian allegedly paid his first baby momma more than $100,000 to not date other men-- even though he was already dating Khloe. Jordan Craig said the money was to keep her "on call", and that she used the funds to care for their son and to pay back loans to her mother and sister.

Tristan started cheating with Khloe right after he discovered Jordan was pregnant. Nice.

First of all, please use contraceptives. Second, can we stop living our lives like a Lifetime movie?

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#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

This wenchbag is just looney. She's married to Brad Falchuk, but they don't live together full time. Okay... I understand separate bedrooms for the snoring issue. I understand not living full time together when one person travels a lot for business. But the reason why these two don't live together is because they're a blended family. Brad has decided to keep his home to host his children from his first marriage when it's his week. Because this is a display of true unity and true step-parenting. Not! He has two kids, Gwynie has two. It's just easier to not try.

"I mean, sometimes that piece gets complicated when there are two teenage girls. If you're not all drinking the same Kool-Aid, it can be tough. I do think, though, at the end of the day, everyone wants the same thing, which is to feel love and and be accepted."

And nothing says "I love you" by not living together as a family. Sigh. Blending families is a challenge. But the way to handle that is to work through it.

Why did you even get married?

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#1 JUSTIN BIEBER

Guess the Beebs felt he wasn't getting enough attention in the press, so let's generate some! Well, kudos for continually proving what a toolbag you truly are. For whatever reason, he decided to challenge Tom Cruise to an MMA match, saying the actor isn't that much of a badass like he is in the movies. So, he threw this down on Twitter:

"I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to a fight in the octagon. Tom if you don't take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite?"

For all his blabbing about what a "changed" person he is, he really isn't. He's supposed to have found God and is all zen, and is all married and matured. HA HA HA HA!

Still don't understand why he's picking on Maverick. As for questioning Tom's physical abilities, it's called acting. You know, where you pretend to be a character you're not. It's not like Tom is scaling buildings or fighting with skells. He's playing a role. Plus, this is just silly. What grown man would respond to some manchild's ultimatum? And, why are you messing with the poster boy of Scientology?

They could disappear you.

Wait. That would be a good thing. Please, keep challenging Tom.

Who's Your Mac-n-Cheese Daddy?

2/28/2019

Offenders for the week ending March 1, 2019:

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#3 ROBERT KRAFT

The owner of the New (nude) England Patriots has entered (LOL) a not guilty plea to soliciting prostitution after back-to-back visits to Orchids of Asia "spa" in Jupiter, Florida. Robert, why? was your heart broken by the death of your wife and the gold-digging ways of your 39-year-old former girlfriend? Did you feel that visiting a "pro" would be drama free?

You have a gajillion dollars. You could've bought some classy, drama free, primo kitty time. Or in this case, a hands-on experience and skin flute action. You had to have known you would've been caught. The name of the spa alone puts the illegal activity on blast. Any Asian "spa" that offers table showers, massages, and body treatments will "arouse" suspicion, so to speak.

But maybe we have it all wrong. Here are two thoughts:

1. You caught Yellow Fever. There is no cure. You just need more yellow attention.
2. You are a known philanthropist. Perhaps you've become a "feel-anthropist."

Whatever the case, let's cue your theme song: "I Did it For the Nookie".

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#2 TRISTAN THOMPSON

They teach you ball control on the court, how about trying it in your pants? After getting caught cheating while your girlfriend Khloe Kardashian was preggo with your daughter, you'd think you'd think with that stuff between your ears. Apparently, that thing between your legs is the dominant force in this saga.

This lowdown, dirty butt pimple was caught with his hand in Jordyn Woods' cookie jar. Oh, Jordyn-with-a-Y is Kylie Jenner's BFF. Kylie, of course, is Khloe's sis. Ewwwwww!

The two were "making out" at someone's house party. And they may have rolled around while Jordyn was roommates with Kylie. Tristan, Tristan, Tristan. There are millions of women in the world. Why must you dip so close to home? Are you earning "frequent Kardashian rider points"? Is this some kind of six-degrees-of-Kardashian sex game?

One day, your weener is going to rebel...

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#1 JORDYN WOODS

Congratulations! You've won the Slutbag Skank Award. Why are you tops this week and Tristan isn't? Because you could've said "no" to inviting a spoken-for man's Oscar Mayer into your den of doom. Sources say:

"This is out of character for Jordyn and no one expected this to happen."

Sure. Like the old saying goes: "It takes two two tango". If half of the equation is unavailable, then the dancing can't happen. Perhaps you've taken up "snake charming" as a vocation? And Tristan's was available for practice? Way to ruin your BFF relationship, your friendship with Khloe, and now you're labeled a tramp. Maybe you want to become Kim K famous. Don't hold your breath.

Quit treating your crotch like it's a Golden Corral.

Tricky Dickies

9/28/2018

Offenders for the week ending September 28, 2018:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON

This dude cannot quit the pink taco! Earlier this year, T.T. was caught in a cheating scandal. And now, guess what? He was spotted leaving a Hollywood club with two brunettes. Double dribble! Well, there's no evidence that he engaged in any no-no place activities. But... he does behave in a suspicious manner.

Things have been going groovy for Khloe Kardashian and Tristan. They moved to California for the summer so her family could spend time with their baby, Tru. The Kardashians forgave Tristan's wander wang ways, and everything was peaches and cream. (And perhaps he's getting some peaches and cream for dessert.)

Or... the reason he left the club with the two brunettes is because he's an Uber driver on the side... Or, he wants to ensure more CAVS victories. He plays better when he plays around.

#GivinRides

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#2 KANYE WEST

Kanye should go work at Wendy's, cuz he's beefin' again. This time with Drake, Nick Cannon, and Tyson Beckford. Damn! That's a triple combo meal with cheese! Mr. West had these words:

"I just want to express some tings that are not sitting right with my spirit. Now that I'm out of the sunken place, I think and just be Ye and express how I feel. There's a couple of things I want to address. First of all I want to address Nick Cannon, like, I understand that you used to date my wife, but you know, you're (giving) an interview, don't mention my wife. Don't be making no suggestions, like nobody f&cked my wife."

What? I dozed off. See, Nick said that Drake "smashed" Kim Kardashian.

Would this really be shocking? And who cares. Many a train has spilled its cargo rollin' through that tunnel.

He's mad at Tyson for saying his boo is a homophobe, and is mad at Drake for something involving his maybe-secret love child.

Did you get all that? But Kanye is an optimist:

"... all three of you all, come talk to me. Holla at me. We will work it out and come to a resolution..."

Uhm. I don't think they give a rat's Yeezy about this mess.

#ZipYoLip

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#1 BILL COSBY

In case you missed it, Mr. Roofie Rapist was sentenced to three to 10 years in prison for drugging and raping Andrea Constand. Poor convict allegedly went ballistic at his home during his sentencing phase. Basically, he was upset that his lawyers didn't do a better job defending him. So, he tried to slam his cane on his kitchen counter, missed, and almost went through the window instead.

"He had a drink of iced tea and then tried swinging it again."

BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA!

Reports indicate that Kung Fu F&ckface swings his cane often at stuff and noises because he can't see. Guess he'll have to get good with a broom handle in prison. Speaking of, Billy had a rough first day behind bars. Someone threw a stale hotdog bun at him, and he fell down a flight of steps because he's not allowed to have his cane. He told his complicit wife, Camille to:

"...grab the checkbook and hire anyone and everyone" to get him out of prison.

I can only imagine how difficult his shower situation will be. Finally, after all these years and all those victims... Some justice. This is the legacy you now leave behind, ball fuzz.

#PuddinPopInThePooper

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