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Practice What You Preach

11/20/2020

 
Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
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Offenders for the week ending November 20th, 2020:

via GIPHY

#3 MEGHAN KING AND JIM EDMONDS, Real Housewives of Orange County former castmember; baseball dude
These two assh&les actually give the physical anatomy a bad name. It's obvious this soon-to-be-divorced couple hate each other. Loathe may be a better word. But their loathing is even beyond that. Jim Edmonds may have been a baseball "legend", but he's more legendary at being a horrible, cheating spouse. (Way to bang the nanny!) And Meghan is a self-righteous, sanctimonious princess who really, really needs to eat a sandwich. 

Jim had COVID a while back. And now Meghan has it. But one of Jim's daughters from another disastrous marriage is claiming the Meghan intentionally exposed the entire Edmonds family-- including Meghan's own kids-- to COVID. I would like to think no one would use this as a weapon on anybody else, but... some people have ill intentions. Anywho, everyone's airing their dirty shorts because that's the thing to do. I hope these two "adults" never reproduce again. With anyone. But thanks for the messiness. Because we all feel better about our awesome lives compared to yours.

via GIPHY

#2 ISAIAH WASHINGTON
(Yeah, I know. The gif is of Katherine Heigl. But there aren't any gifs of Isiah, so...)

Nothing like re-engaging in an old beef. Isaiah and his former "Grey's Anatomy" co-star Katherine Heigl are butting heads again-- this time on the socials. Over his controversial exit from Grey's over a decade ago, thanks to her accusation that Isaiah called one of their co-stars a homophobic slur. In a tweet earlier this week, he shared a photo of Heigl and this:

"This woman once proclaimed that I should 'never' be allowed to speak publicly again. The world agreed with her proclamation back then and protested for my job and my head in 65 languages. I wish I was on Twitter in 2007,  because i will NEVER stop exercising my free speech."

No one knows why he went all rage-y. Perhaps he's vying to the the first person cancelled before cancel culture became a thing.

Look, Isaiah. Just zip it and use a voodoo doll for your aggressions like the rest of us...


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#1 ELLEN DEGENERES
I absolutely cannot stand a hypocrite. And Ellen is a huge, stinky pile of hypocrite. The same Ellen that faced serious allegations of racism, unfair work practices, and toxicity in the workplace, has the audacity to keep shoving down our throats her "Be Kind" mantra. With that sentiment in mind-- words she allegedly does not live by-- she just released her "Be Kind" subscription box just in time for the holidays.

Oh, yipee!

Ellen says the box is all about spreading kindness with brands that do the same. All for the low price of $55.

So, let's review. You're most likely an undercover-ish beyotch who has this facade of "peace, love and unicorn farts", who still doesn't realize that your fans (average people) are trying to stay afloat during this never-ending pandemic. Sure, spending $55 on your box of bullshit sounds awesome! Not. 

Hey, Ellen. Why don't you crawl inside your box (whichever one you choose-- wink, wink) and be kind to all of us and disappear.

Skeevy, Skanky & Stupid

9/18/2020

 
​Offenders for the week ending 09/18/20:

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​#3 MICHAEL DARBY, Cast Member/Real Housewives of Potomac
His wife, Ashley, is a main cast member of this show. Which means their lives are on display for us to peep on. Which means that if you're trying to keep your shady sihzz on the DL, you really can't. Because you're known and people are coming for you. Which means if you're gonna have a wild night at a strip club while your wife is away with your infant son, you best keep your kinks in your pants.

The Aussie fossil and his way younger wife were the hot topic last season, as Michael was accused of wanting to play another man's skin flute, and he was charged with grabbing a male cameraman's booty.  Maybe it's an Australian thing, but methinks he wants the pouch and the joey all at the same time.

No one cares how you live your life. But if you're lying to your wife and lying to yourself, well-- BYE. Do better at keeping your down under activities down under...

via GIPHY

#2 LINDSAY LOHAN
There's a simple premise in business: You get paid to perform a service; you're expected to complete that service. Lindsay doesn't understand this very basic concept. See, HarperCollins gave LiLo a $365 thousand advance back in 2014 to write her memoir about her troubled life. Then, she got into trouble for not producing a final product after a year had passed. So, being kind and wanting some delish tea-- they extended the contract by two years.

Crickets. 

The contract was terminated in 2018. But that didn't mean she could keep the money for nothing. Duh! Lindsay was asked to pay the advance back, which didn't happen. And now it's 2020 and she's got a court date in the future. Time to get a rich boyfriend to pay this for you. Is Jon Peters available? If he married Pamela Anderson for, like, a hot minute and paid off her debt, well...

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#1 JON GOSSELIN
Again, you're an embarrassment to your gender, to Koreans, and to humanity in general. Add alleged abuser to his list of douchebaggery. County of Berks, Pennsylvania Child & Youth Services has opened an investigation into an alleged violent incident between Jon and his 16-year-old son Collin:

           "causing bodily injury to a child through recent act/failure to act: hitting/punching."

This is consistent with a post from Collin on his IG alleging his dad "beat him":

"My dad is a liar. Yesterday he beat me up and thought nothing of it, he punched me in the face and gave me a swollen nose and I started bleeding. He then continued to kick me in the ribs after I was on the floor. He is a liar."

A source says the incident happened after Collin became upset while talking to Jon in the car.

"Collin got furious and was screaming and swearing. When they got home, he was still screaming and cursing and he went into the garage and got... a big heavy bottle of liquid-- and hurled it at Jon's car, denting it. Jon got out of the car, enraged, and put him in a headlock, punched him square in the nose, and when Collin fell to the ground, then he kicked him in the ribs."

It's been publicized in the past that Collin has behavioral issues, and chose to live with Jon instead of momma Kate. I'm sure the truth of what happened is somewhere in the middle. And granted, if I had hurled something at my dad-- he would've knocked me into next week. But, there's a difference between discipline, restraining someone before you should call the authorities, and beating the stuff out of someone-- especially your minor child. 

Perhaps your focus should be on fatherhood and earning money to support your 8 kids, instead of trying to live some fantasy life as a club DJ. A club DJ in small-town PA, no less. 

Sigh...

Athletic Sir-porters...

9/29/2017

 
Offenders for the week ending September 29, 2017:
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"Just call me Waterboy!"
#3 TOM BRADY
I've heard a lot of things: the Earth is flat; the moon walk didn't happen; we live amongst aliens-- you know, the usual stuff. Since Tom is Tom he knows everything, and people will take his word as germane. Like this gem: Did you know that you won't get a sunburn if you drink lots of water?

"When I was growing up, and playing outside in the sun, I got sunburned a lot. I was a fair-skinned Irish boy, after all. These days, even if I get an adequate amount of sun, I won't get a sunburn, which I credit to the amount of water I drink. I always hydrate afterward, too, to keep my skin from peeling."

Okay, Coppertone. 

Brady Bunch claims he drinks 2.5 gallons of water every day. 40 glasses of water! I get he's a mega athlete, but when do you have time to do all that drinking!?!? I know that animals that live in the water don't get sunburned, so maybe there's some validity here? 

BWAAA HAAAA HAAA! I'm sure some toolbag will try this, go out in the sun and get baked like a lobster... or-- die from internal drowning. Either way, someone will be coming for ya money. Go away, Dr. Faux_Oz!

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"I'm so in love with myself!"
#2 PEREZ HILTON
Rumor has it that 20-year-old Kylie Jenner is preggo. While no one is confirming nor denying the story (I'm sure Momma Opportunist is waiting for the biggest payday), the infamous blogger had this to say about Kylie's potential motherhood: 

"In case you haven't been paying attention, Kylie Jenner has been dating rapper Travis Scott for what, um, 5 months, 6 months? And also, a reminder Kylie Jenner is 19-years-old. Um, I love life, I love babies. If I were Kris Jenner, I would tell that girl to get an abortion!"


Wow. I will never be a fan of the Kardashian/Jenner clan, but I am a fan of life. Sure, these ladies are a vacant-headed bunch of sh*t-lips, but at least they have the cash to raise this poor child. Well, as expected, Perez got a lot of heat on the social medias about his comment. His response:

"I know I'm the best father dad! If my daughter was as unready & young as Kylie, I'd tell her to get an abortion too!"

You want equal rights for everything and everyone, but not for human life. Wouldn't you step up as a loving potential grandfather to help your daughter? Just. Stop.

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"And Trump's a stinky poopy-head, too!"
​#1 LEBRON JAMES
I've had enough of entertainers and athletes trying to tell me what I should think and what I should do. Unfortunately, there are too many that blindly follow the agenda of someone who is wealthy beyond imagination and detached from what the majority actually experiences on the daily. It all started when the President revoked his invite to the Golden State Warriors to come to the White House. His Highness, who last I checked, does NOT play with G.S., tweeted: 

"U bum (Stephen Curry) already said he ain't going! So therefore ain't no invite. Going to White House was a great honor until you showed up!"

Poignant. How is name calling someone you claim is a name-caller and a racist and a million other things accomplishing anything? Do you not realize that you spewing hate makes you a hypocrite? Lebron claims that Mr. Trump is using sports to divide us.  Nope. You are. Why not use your platform to share what we should be standing for, not against? Why not share with me ways that we can be better as humans, you know-- something positive, evolved, helpful!?!?!?! 

But that would make sense. So easy just to stir it up, then leave the scene. 

You're an ambassador for your sport. You've given back more to your home community than you need to. But really, STFU.

​PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com

Ginger-gagus!

6/2/2017

 
Offender for the week ending June 2, 2017:
It's happened again. The slap dedicated to one repulsive douchebag. And that douchebag is...
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"So this is where I should shove my career?"
THE OFFENDER OF THE WEEK: KATHY GRIFFIN
But before we get to Mizz Nasty-Ass, here are some peeps that would've made the list:

3. Jayden Smith: Being quirky is cool. Being a weirdo is not. You're the not. Go away.

2. Former Denver sports writer Terry Frei who tweeted that he was uncomfortable that a Japanese man won the Indy 500. Well, we're uncomfortable that you're breathing our good air.

Now, let's get down to business. I admit it; I've never been a huge fan of this broad. But, I did find her stand up act a few years ago slightly amusing. Then, this. Kathy decided to do a photo shoot with an extremely realistic, bloodied, decapitated head of President Trump. Hilarious! So funny, in fact, that his 11-year-old son shouted out for his mother because when he saw the photo, he thought it was real.

Interestingly enough, people on both sides of the political pendulum were disgusted. Kathy was stunned. She had no idea this would happen. So, she made a public apology.  And quite frankly, her apology is straight-up bullsh*t:

"I'm a comic. I cross the line. I move the line, then I cross it. I went way too far. The image is too disturbing. I understand how it offends people. It wasn't funny. I get it. I beg your forgiveness. I went too far. I made a mistake and I was wrong."

1. You're not sorry. There was nothing heartfelt about it. You did it to do it. And that may be part of your plan. See #2.


2. You intended this outcome. You hired a known controversial photographer (Tyler Shields). You knew exactly what that photo would do. Were you feeling the need for attention? Regardless of your intent, you've earned everything coming your way. This wasn't a "mistake" as you claim. It was calculated.

3. 
MOST IMPORTANTLY: we live in a world where people hate us. Those that are not radicalized terrorists don't see us as human. We are the enemy. No amount of love will change a philosophy and such a deep, deep hatred. Plus, many Americans have been beheaded. Are you saying this is acceptable?

For those crying "censorship", get over it. She was never censored. She said what she wanted to-- which is the beauty of the country we live in. BUT there are consequences. I know, many people don't realize that there are actual consequences nor do they suffer any, so they spew. 

And for the record: threatening the President of United States is a Class E felony under United States Code Title 18. In part: knowingly and willfully mailing or otherwise making 'any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States"-- including presidential candidates and former presidents. 

This is not a First Amendment issue. You have freedom of speech... see above.

No matter your political view, the office of the presidency should be respected. You may not agree with the person holding that office, but if we call for the assassination of our leader (whether in jest or not) it weakens our nation. It weakens our own self, and makes us look like a bunch of childish, petty, whiny assh*les. Awesome.
​

And to add insult to injury-- you went for the low-hanging fruit. It's easy to make fun of this presidency. How about generic political jokes we all can laugh at? Or even better-- write some original material!


​PHOTO CREDIT:
GIF www.giphy.com

A Has-Been Reality...

4/28/2017

 
Offenders for the week ending April 28,2017:
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Yes. Skate backwards. Back to when you had a career...
#3 SCOTT BAIO
The hits keep coming for Chachi-- who must love the taste of leather. As in shoe-in-mouth. With the passing of Erin Moran, Baio posted a really nice tribute on social media expressing his "sincere" condolences. Oh what a difference a day makes. Cuz he had a different tune during a radio interview, where he slammed his former co-star for her battle with addiction: 

"I knew Erin well, [but] over the last many years I have not spoken with her.  She was just an insecure human being and fell into this world of drugs and alcohol . . . I don't know if that's what killed her, [but] I'm sure it was a culmination of years and years of doing it that might have had something to do with it. For me, you do drugs or drink, you're gonna die.  I'm sorry if that's cold, but God gave you a brain, [he] gave you the will to live and thrive, and you gotta take care of yourself."

​Bam! 
Were you speaking truth? Yes. Could you have used some tact and compassion? Hell. Yes. Therefore, get that cheek ready for a slap!

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Oh, Holy Sh*t!
#2 KIM KARDASHIAN
From the broad who got famous for parting her legs and treating her "Southern Hemisphere" like an all-you-can-eat pink taco buffet... this. This!!!! Her booty may have broken the internet, but her latest product placement set it on fire! She was on the Instagram blabbing about something, but more importantly-- displayed front-and-center was her new emoji candle. An emoji candle of herself as THE VIRGIN MARY!

So many offended people. And rightly so. You are a lot of things, Kimmie, but virginal?

Bwaaa haaaa haaaa!

There is no orifice that hasn't been been plugged, nor any sexual act not committed by thee. Why, oh, why did you do this? Is it because your hubs thinks he's Jesus? But that would make you his momma... nevermind. I know your existence is all about pushing buttons. So how about you push the eject button right off this planet!

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"My milkshake brings all the pedos to the yard..."
#1 REDNECK REALITY STARS
What. The. F*k!?!? It's all such an incestual confederate-flag-bearing gang-bang. I admit it. I raise my hand. I watched Mama June: From Not to Hot. I had a weird fascination with these creatures that are paid large sums of money to be trashy. Mama June became estranged from one of her daughters because momma was dating a pedophile. A pedophile that raped her own daughter. So... after June and Sugar Bear called it quits, he married a 'neck named Jennifer. Who was previously married to a, wait for it.... PEDOPHILE! 

The dating pool is wider than your relatives and children. Disgusting. Both June and Jen are mothers. How can mothers knowingly hook-up with these sh*tstains?!?!? And-- you know it's wrong, because you both tried to hide your douchebag dalliances. The time has come to not reward the bottom feeders anymore. I have a great idea for new reality show: let's get all you hilljacks together, let you roam in the woods, and we get to hunt you Hunger Games-style. 

Giddy up!
​PHOTO CREDITS:
Kim candle: flickr
GIFs www.giphy.com

She-She... SHAME!

2/10/2017

 
Offenders for the week ending February 10, 2017:
This week's Slap-ees will be immortalized via rhyme...
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WTF, C-N-NOT!
#3 CNN
Hey! Did ya hear that Faith Hill and The Notorious B.I.G. are teaming up for an album of duets? Yaaay!

                                                                        What?

First, Biggie been done-and-gone for 20 years; and second-- that's Faith EVANS-- not Faith HILL. Well, at least you got the first name correct. Is there anything you actually get correct these days?  

FYI: Faith EVANS is a singer-- so I get the mistake (insert eye roll)-- and Big's widow. You do know Biggie isn't being brought back to life via some Way-Back-In-Time Machine, and that there's this thing called TECHNOLOGY which will allow the duets to happen, right? Cuz if there were a Waaaaay Back Machine maybe we could go back in time when you had your "stuff" together. Perhaps CNN should stand for: CONCOCTED NEWS NETWORK. 


Your rhyme: Eenie, meenie, miney mo
                      Your 'news" reporting truly blows...

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Even I'm not buying my own bullsh*t...
#2 GWYNETH PALTROW
For the love of all things good...

                                                   STOP GIVING US LIFE ADVICE!!!!!!!

​If we want real advice, we'd get it from an expert in said area-- not some has-been actress trying to remain relevant!

First, Gwynie hit us up with the virtues of steaming our "cookie jars." Steam. On the jay-jay. Then, it was wearing a crystal. INSIDE the aforementioned cookie jar. And now, we ladies should burn our bras by the light of the full moon to 'cleanse the negative energy of failed relationships.' Oh, but there's more! According to relationship expert Suzannah Galland, lingerie holds memories of a certain partner-- which is good during, but post breakup...no way. The residual energy is left behind making it difficult to find closure.

                        (With as many exes as Gwynie has had, she must've started an inferno...)

Look, if I'm burning any underwear-- it's gonna be HIS. Preferably while he's wearing them. Why can't Gwyn encounter a zen nun who convinces her that a golden muzzle and vow of silence are the way to roll?

Your rhyme: Hickory dickory dock
                      Won't you please run head-first into a block!?!?

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He'd be awesome at the World Series...
#1 KIM KARDASHIAN
Maybe she's trying to be the supportive wife. Or she sees just another opportunity for media attention. I'm goin' with the latter, because-- DUH!

Think of past "Big Game" halftime shows that were epic: Bruce Springsteen. Prince, Bruno Mars.... and most recently, Gaga. Kimster all over social media re-tweeting fans wanting hubby Kanye to play next year. Bad idea. Really bad. C'mon, Kim! The stress alone might make him explode! Plus, why would he even be interested? He's compared performing live to fighting a war, and how it's tougher than what our police and military do. 
We surely don't want him getting PTSD!

                                                        (Sniff, sniff, whiny beyotch!)

 And-- halftime performers don't get paid, so no big diamond for you to 'get stolen'. 

P.S. Your man's arch-nemesis/enemy/sexual obsession Taylor Swift is the artist people want to see perform next. Ouchie.

Your poem: Roses are red, violets are blue
                     For the love of God, won't you STFU!?!?

PHOTO CREDITS:
KIM KARDASHIAN https://www.flickr.com/photos/evarinaldiphotography/
GWYNETH PALTROW https://www.flickr.com/photos/dno1967b/
FAITH HILL https://www.flickr.com/photos/32892638@N00/

R.I.P. Love...

7/24/2015

 
Offenders for the week of July 20, 2015:
This week our Slapees get a fruit bowl befitting their offense...
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"I know everything!"
#3 GWYNETH PALTROW
OFFENSE: Wench
She's supposed to be so much better than us and more evolved, but she's pathetic. Truly. She manages to take a jab at ex-hubby Chris Martin every chance she gets. In a recent interview, she slams him for his parenting skills. Because there are days he doesn't like her (every).

"It's been hard, and you know, like, we've gone through really difficult times with it but we've always said these children are our priority. What that really means is, even though today you hate me and you never want to see me again, like, we're going to brunch 'cause it's Sunday and that's what we'll do!"

Like, fer sure! Totally! Yawn...

I get it-- acting like adults for the sake of the kiddos and not ripping the other apart in front of them. But there are just some days you can't endure being with your cold-hearted, cold-taco ex-wife. So why force it? Cuz the kids will pick up on the tension. Stop trying to be a controlling C-U-Next-Tuesday. 

Your fruit bowl: Jackfruit...because you're a jackass.

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"I love doing this yogurt exercise thingie!"
#2 KIM KARDASHIAN
OFFENSE: Idiot

Kimmie's grooming her two-year-old daughter to be a superficial twat-waffle, too. How? By hiring North her own personal trainer. Gotta get rid of that baby fat, ya know? When Kim is done with her own session, she lets her dude workout with North once or twice a week. Kim says it's important for her daughter to become accustomed to a gym routine early in life. 

When are the implants and waxing going to happen? At the age of four? Ridiculous. 

What happened to letting a two-year-old be a two-year-old? Like... I dunno...letting them play as their form of exercise? This poor child is going to be in therapy before she hits Pre-K!

Your fruit bowl: Kiwano-- the Blowfish Fruit...
 need I say more?

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B: "Fuck you." M: "Eat a bag of dicks."
#1 BLAKE SHELTON & MIRANDA LAMBERT
OFFENSE: Killers

Because of you and your divorce. Love. Has. Died. You were so perfect together. How can anyone's marriage work if yours failed? I mean, forget the fact that Blake on his first wife with Miranda. He won't stray on you! You were together for 10 years, married for four. Because of your mutual selfishness and lack of thought for the entire human race, we can't eat, sleep, think straight... or... love-- ever again. 

Thanks for the ruination of an institution.

Your fruit bowl: Crabapples... because they're bittter, just like we are.

End of sarcasm... 

PHOTO CREDIT:
Gwyneth Paltrow https://www.flickr.com/photos/yausser/
Kim Kardashian https://www.flickr.com/photos/synergybyjasmine/
Blake and Miranda https://www.flickr.com/photos/disneyabc/

Tools & Fools...

7/17/2015

 
Offenders for the week of July 13, 2015:
This week our Slapees are served a sandwich befitting their behavior...
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"Don't run from me!"
#3 JARED FOGLE
OFFENSE: Meany 
Now that the FBI raided his home as part of a child porn investigation involving the president of his charity, things are coming out about Jared's so-called "dark past". 



He used to love strip clubs. Egads! So long as he's not the one strippin'... 


He ran a porn video shop from his dorm room. Okay, that's entrepreneurial. 


What bothers me is the proof that you're not nice. Your ex-wife had to get a restraining order during the messy divorce because of your anger, and your controlling, creepy behavior. While divorce can bring out the worst in people, y'all need to check yo self. 

Your sandwich: A Veal Parmesan Sub-- because you may like 'em young and tender.

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"I can't believe I ate the whole thing!"
#2 KIRSTIE ALLEY
OFFENSE: Scammer

That's scam, not Spam... which she appears to be familiar with... but I digress. Our favorite (?) yo-yo dieter (or is that just "yo-yo") is in trouble. She sold her Organic Liaison diet company to Jenny Craig last year, but decisions she and her peeps made when they were owners have landed them in a messy lawsuit. They're named defendants because of a six-figure payment they received as part of an alleged Ponzi scheme.  

I''m more offended that her own diet company hasn't helped her at all! And secondly, who would trust a Scientologist in any business dealing?!?!? It's like agreeing to a time share while on vacation-- total scam artists! But I digress, again. 

Way to go, Violet Beauregarde... Keep chewin' that stick of Dumbass Gum and see where it lands you...

Your sandwich: The KFC Double Down-- an equally fat, bloated sandwich for your equally fat, bloated lies.

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"Ha, ha, I'm a complete asshole!"
#1 CAMILLE COSBY
OFFENSE: Fool

Though she's legally known since 2005 that her hypocritical ball-pimple of a spouse bought drugs to slip to women and rape them, she still refuses to believe it's true. Her claim? These women consented to being drugged and raped. Sure.

Camille has been aware and tolerant of Con-by's cheating. In fact, she says her open mind has caused no friction in their relationship. Well, duh! When you give carte blanche to your husband to let his weiner wander, of course things will go smoothly!

While you deem it noble to stand by your man, you need a wake-up call. Your marriage and your husband are both shams. Hope you've enjoyed that cozy bed of deceit you've been lying in.

Your sandwich: The Bare-Bottom Burger-- because you're gonna be embarr-ass-ed when you wake up and realize the truth about your POS spouse.

PHOTO CREDIT:
Jared Fogle https://www.flickr.com/photos/thenickster/
Kirstie Alley https://www.flickr.com/photos/nayrb7/
Bill Cosby https://www.flickr.com/photos/wacphiladelphia/

You've Embarrassed Theo...

7/10/2015

 
Offenders for the week of July 6, 2015:
This week's our Slappees get their "just deserts" of the sweet variety...
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"Lookie here at my girly muscles!"
#3 JUSTIN BIEBER 
OFFENSE: Icky
Since he really doesn't have a career, why not go on vacay and run around naked? Well, that's all fine-- but we don't need to see your bare, naked ass-- ever! Plus, it's no David Beckham backside! (Meow!) Beebs is livin'-it-up with his bros in Bora Bora, and one of them snapped a tushie pic. Whatevs. Hope you've wisely invested that fortune you amassed off of horrible music. But I digress... Maybe Beebs is trying to get work. Perhaps these pics are his audition for a Coppertone commercial, or a Johnson & Johnson baby wipes gig... Either way, keep that Pale Moon Risin' covered!

Your dessert: A bowl of Tapioca... to match that ass jiggle.

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"Maybe they'll let me lick a cream stick in France?"
#2 ARIANA GRANDE
OFFENSE: Disgusting traitor

The pop star got a hankerin' for some doughnuts, so she decided to go get some. While she was at the bakery, she was caught on video licking and spitting on the doughnuts, and declaring her hate for America/Americans. Classy. Oh, and to make matters worse-- the staff didn't see her spit on the doughnuts, so they were served to unsuspecting customers. Gross! Areola and her equally repulsive male friend were having a blast destroying the baked goods and behaving like complete douchebags. 

Once Airheadia discovered she was caught on video, she tried to explain her actions:

"What I said in a private moment with my friend, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context and I am sorry for not using more discretion with my choice of words. As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole."

What does that have to do with spitting on doughnuts or declaring your hatred of America-- you know, that country that's allowed you to be a self-entitled, spoiled ass berry?



Hey, Bimbette-- you were born here; which makes you an American that you hate so much!

Here's a thought: Hate America so much? GET. THE. F*CK. OUT. 

Your dessert: A Banana Phlegm-be... since you're no stranger to "bananas" and you like to hock on things. 

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"I've got THE drink recipe for you..."
#1 BILL COSBY 
OFFENSE: Damned, filthy liar!

I'm not sure I can find the words for this, but I'll try my best... Guess who admitted in a 2005 deposition that he obtained Quaaludes and other sedatives to give to women for sex? Yup. America's favorite TV dad. The same guy who claimed those who would dare accuse him of such awful things are racists and liars. 



Look in the mirror lately? How do you live with yourself?

And FYI, you're no man. Apparently you don't have the skills or any redeeming qualities for a woman to want to be intimate with you. It takes a pathetic, deviant loser to drug a woman and rape her. Cuz why have a woman want to want you? And please, don't even dare to say you have some kind of "addiction". The only addiction you have is that chronic behavior of acting like a scumbag.

And to Mrs. Bill Crotchby-- you're just as culpable and just as disgusting for lying for this insufferable piece of shit. How do you lay down at night with this rapist? Hand back your ovaries, you're out of the club!

I guess I was able to find my words afterall...

Your dessert: Spotted Dick. No explanation needed...

PHOTO CREDIT:
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Ariana Grande https://www.flickr.com/photos/98388875@N03/
Bill Cosby https://www.flickr.com/photos/wacphiladelphia/

    About The Slap

    I lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;)

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