Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Swagless

11/12/2021

Offender for the week ending November 12, 2021:

#3 SCOTT DISICK

This fool thinks if he keeps in good with the Kardashian/Jenners, he might get another shot at Kourtney. HA HA HA HA! He says he considers Kris Jenner to be a second mom to him, and that he gets along well with everyone-- except Kourtney.

Well, her opinion matters most. And she ain't leaving Travis Barker-- a real man. Just go back to age-inappropriate dating.

A little poem for you:

Disick
Is a dick
Not so slick
Go find a pole to lick

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#2 JEFF BEZOS

Jeffy was just kidding, but you know a part of him was serious when he took a shot at the luscious Leo DiCaprio. Jeff and his lady love, Lauren Sanchez, were at some soiree where Leo was. And he was lookin' F-I-N-E in a tux. Lauren was alllll into Leo, and as he turned to walk away, it looked like she was going to grab his hand and follow. Well, Barstool Sports posted video of the exchange with the caption "Leo is Mr. Steal Yo Girl."

In response, Jeff posted a picture of himself standing by a sign that read: "Danger! Steep Cliff Fatal Drop" with the caption: "Leo, come over here. I want to show you something."

Look, Bezhos. You have more money than Leo. It's cool. Go ride your penis rocket to space. It'll be okay.

A little poem for you:

Sad but true
You got the bag
But Leo got swag
Boo hoo

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#1 YE, formerly known as Kanye West

I've slapped this dude so many times, but he doesn't seem to learn. I actually feel sorry for him as he's going through a lot. Name change; marital status change. Reports came out months ago that these two are, indeed, getting divorced-- and that everything had been settled. Now, Ye claims he's never seen any divorce papers, and that he wants to stay together with Kim Kardashian. He's blaming the media, and streaming service Hulu for the breakup of his family:

"I wanna pull my family back together... It's MY family, Hulu."

What the eff does that mean? Perhaps you shouldn't have run off to your ranch in Montana for months at a time while your family was in L.A. Methinks he's just upset Kim's bumpin' uglies with Pete Davidson. I mean, I'd hurl too, but... you have your own little hook-up action going on...

A little poem for you:

Ye Ye
Go away
Change your name to
Overplayed

Papercuts & Uppercuts

9/17/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending September 17th, 2021:

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#3 KANYE WEST

He might be the biggest overgrown toddler walking the Earth. Apparently, he's not taking his impending divorce to Kim Kardashian so well-- because he's unfollowed her on the IG. Since he only follows 14 accounts, it's kinda totally obvs that he unfollowed her. There were rumors that the two of them might reconcile, but apparently that's not happening. And in true Kanye fashion, this could be why he "lashed out" by unfollowing. For now.

Doesn't he have some home décor to design, meaning-- wiping his butt cheeks on stuff and charging $250 for that dish rag?

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#2 CESAR MILAN

Maybe this dude needs to "TSCH!" himself. He may be dog-whispering, but sometimes dogs under his care are dog-biting.... His beloved pitbull, Junior, severely bit a promising gymnast. Lidia Matiss says she was bitten by Junior in 2017-- and that ended her career. That's because Junior was roaming the halls unsupervised at Cesar's compound-- where Lidia's mom worked.

And Queen Latifah has been brought up in the filing. Lidia's attorneys say Queen had taken two of her dogs to Cesar's Dog Psychology Center for training, but Junior mauled one of her dogs to death-- and Cesar had his staff cover it up. The excuse? The dog had been hit and killed by a car.

The truth shall set you free, Cesar. It's hard enough losing a pet, but to lie on top of it?

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#1 CONNOR MCGREGGOR AND MACHINE GUN KELLY

These two need to have a seat in time out. Beefin' with each other accomplishes nothing-- but we are grateful for the entertainment. These two had a run-in on the red carpet at the MTV VMAs. Supposedly, Connor approached MGK (drink in hand) and requested a picture with him. That's when things took a turn. MGK's security shoved Connor, and Connor then threw his drink at MGK, and they had some words.

Beefin' Part Two: Connor was asked about the incident, and he said he didn't even know who MGK was and called him a "skinny Vanilla Ice rapper." Busted! if you didn't know who he was, you wouldn't know he was a rapper before he started dabbling in alt rock.

As for MGK? When asked about the incident, he smacked the mic out of the interviewer's hand.

Look, boys. Can't we just be chill? Because I think the two of you would actually get along if you'd let your 'tudes "calm their titties" (like grandpa would say.)

Febreezy Yeezy

9/10/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending September 10th, 2021:

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#3 KANYE WEST

Two things here:

1. Though not shocking, this fool may have cheated on his "dream girl", now-ex wife Kim Kardashian. In his new song "Hurricane", he raps:

"Here I go actin' too rich/ Here I go with a new chick/ And I know what the truth is/ Still playin' after two kids/ It's a lot to digest when your life always movin'"

Perhaps it's more than cows he's been herding at that ranch of his...

2. Martha West? Kanye Stewart? Guess who wants to be a lifestyle brand? Yup. Shower curtains, towels, placemats, wall décor. Surely, it will all be overpriced and lookin' like something you've wiped your ass with. You know those towels granny got for free with the box of detergent? That's what I imagine he'll be "designing" and selling.

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#2 ANGELINA JOLIE

Her big lips are loose lips. Girl is spilling all the tea about her relationship with Brad. Well, not really spilling all of it. Because she can't. She's alluded to a volatile relationship with her is-he-ever-gonna-be-her-ex in the past. But now in a recent interview, they fought really badly over Harvey Weinstein. She claims the perv tried to assault her, and she told Brad, and then asked him to not work on the film "Inglorious Basterds"-- produced by Weinstein. But he did star in the movie and Angie was mad. Weenstein is a known asshat, so I get it.

But... Angie also claims that she feared for her entire family's safety while being married to Brad, and that the decision to divorce was not an easy one to make. Too many women are in abusive relationships, and this is not making light of that. Something just seems off. Like she's dragging this whole thing out to drag Brad. If he is a true POS, then there would be more stories, no? From other women? She does have a book coming out, so...

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#1 SCOTT DISICK

This man child can't get over Kourtney Kardashian. So much so, he slid into the DMs of one of her exes, threw shade at her to him, then made the DMs public himself. WTF? Well, Scott's waaaay younger GF, Amelia Gray Hamlin, dumped his creepy ass. Apparently, she was not pleased that old boy is still pining for Kourtney. Good for you, Amelia. But let's slap you, too. Dude was waaaay too old for you. He is old enough to be your dad. And you shouldn't have daddy issues, cuz your daddy is hot! Plus, why have dried, chipped beef when you can have some virile veal?

And Scott, get over it. Travis Barker may be all rocked and tatted-out. But he's cool and has cred. You're just... crud.

Yeezy Balks

6/18/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending June 11, 2021:

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#3 TERESA GUIDICE, Castmember/Real Housewives of New Jersey

Over the years, you've made the list for slap-worthy offenses-- like being a bitchbag in general, and you know, that whole going-to-jail-thing. But this time around, the hand is meeting the cheek as a wake-up call.

The recent divorcee is head-over-heels in love with her BF Luis Ruelas. But her friends want her to pump the brakes. A source says:

"(Teresa) would marry Luis in a heartbeat. It's not that he doesn't treat her right, but everyone's protective of her after all she's been through. Some friends are worried that she's so in love that she;s blinded by certain things like his past, and working with him too soon."

T-Dog was married for 20 years to Joe-- who was not the ideal spouse. And since she was 'untouched' until marriage, this would be ween #2 for her. JS.

Girl, you have a lot of lawyers. A background check would be money well spent.

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#2 CHRISSY TEIGEN

At one point, she was kinda cute and quirky. I think... Now? She's effing annoying. And a hypocrite. My least favorite thing next to being a stinkin' thief. Anywho, she should've stuck to looking good and keeping her Twitter mouth shut, because she's a serial bully. Little Miss Woke is no better than the virtue signaling she spews. After apologizing for bullying Courtney Stodden, Project Runway star Michael Costello went public with what he calls a 'years long' concerted campaign by Chrissy to destroy his career.

But she 'owns it':

"There's no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn't deserve them. Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual edgy humor. I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry."

Snore. Guess what? The heat is still on. Perhaps she's feeling it, because her strategy is to do an Oprah interview to salvage her career. Because:

"Chrissy is a fighter and believes she is such an excellent communicator that there isn't a mess she can't talk her way out of."

Oh. So it's all about smoke and mirrors, and not true repentance.

Talk your way off the planet, asshat.

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#1 KANYE WEST

I've had a love/hate/hate relationship with Kanye. I respect his musical genius, but his behavior is so bloated and egomaniacal. Just when I've come to some sort of peace with Ye, he steps in it again. And it's always so epic. He completely flipped out during a recent court appearance in his battle with the Black-owned company, MyChannel. He's being sued for breach of contract for allegedly backing out of an agreement to invest in the company, then turning around and stealing their video commerce technology to sell his Sunday Service merch.

He could've sat for a video deposition, but nooooo. He did something that got him sanctioned 63-grand, and required to appear in court. And that was a #Fail Part 2. A source says:

"Ye acted a complete fool."

He referred to MyChannel's white attorney as "boy" and asked him if he was "f*cking stupid." He then verbally vomited that the attorney was lucky to be deposing the "richest Black man in America..."

Then, he'd had enough. Kanye donned a "full-face hood and head covering adorned with Jesus Christ's image which obstructed his face and muffled his voice." He said the lawyers didn't deserve to see his face.

Yes. Lawsuits suck. But if you're in the wrong, it's your own fault you're getting sued. Act like an adult, take your damn meds, and straighten up! You have children that are going to see all of this on the internet!

Someone needs to put you in time out for... ever.

Goober

11/13/2020

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending November 13th, 2020:

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#3 LARSA PIPPEN

The ex-wife of former NBA legend Scottie Pippen is back in the spotlight after spilling her own tea on her own messy sitch with the Kardashian sisters. Guess Larsa used to be Kim's bestie, and now the entire family doesn't speak to her. And it's all Kanye's fault:

"Maybe because I blocked him on my phone because I couldn't bear taking his calls anymore... So, he turned that into, 'Oh, she's this and she's that.' They all started to ride his wave. If you're that easily swayed, like the wind, then do I really give a f&ck? Should I give a f&ck?"

Apparently you give two f&cks, because you're talking publicly about it. Then, in your little podcast confessional you said how you've been through so much with the family and you will always love them. Blah, blah, blah, and you feel like one day you can all reconcile. Methinks you opening your trap (and perhaps your legs to Khloe's on-again-off-again meat deliverer, Tristan Thompson) isn't the way to get back in there.

A phone call or good ol' fashioned letter might be more appropriate. Or better yet, take your skank ass back to Hoe Town and let it go...

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#2 CLARE CRAWLEY, former title "character" from The Bachelorette

As predicted, Clare has left her season of the reality TV show-- 4 episodes in. Because she fell in love with former NFL wide receiver Dale Moss in 4 seconds. Literally. The moment he stepped out of the limo to meet her she said he was her future husband. Yes, the two are engaged and now shopping for bi-costal homes. And of course, there are babies in the future!

What?

She is on the warp-speed path now that she's got a man on lockdown. In one of the most uncomfortable moments from this week's show, host Chris Harrison checked in with the couple and asked what was next for them. Clare quickly, and manically shouted out: "BABIES!" And then, there was silence. From Dale. And the viewing audience. We get it, Clare. You were the oldest Bachelorette at 39 and that damned bio clock is ticking loudly. But you need better game. At least play an under-the-radar-psycho and put holes in the condoms.

Run Dale. You've got skills. I was all #TeamClare, but now I'm afraid for you.

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#1 JEFFREY TOOBIN

If you recall, the writer for The New Yorker was suspended three weeks ago after he was caught opining-- actually, o-penising-- on camera during a Zoom meeting with co-workers. Yup. He was handling his Oscar Mayer. It's not that he meant to choke the chicken on camera. See, he thought he had turned it off, but... Seriously, dude. Are you a stupid, pimply teenage boy that can't wait until your meeting is over to put in your piece for the New Yanker? What inspired you during this meeting? One of your co-workers? Vurp. Anywho, Goobin and his employer have consciously uncoupled:

"I was fired today after 27 years as a Staff Writer. I will always love the magazine, will miss my colleagues, and will look forward to reading their work."

I'm sure you'll be jerkin' the gherkin while "reading their work." Seems he was trying to stroke some sympathy with his social media post. Let's see who feels sorry for this jerk (off).................................................................................................No one.

You know people are gonna forever yell "hand check" at you, don't you?

I Wanna Be a Three Billionaire

5/1/2020

Offenders for the week ending May 1, 2020:

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#3 JAY CUTLER

Kristin Cavallari and Jay announced their desire to divorce while sheltering in place. Cutler lists "irreconcilable differences", while Kristin claims Jay is guilty of:

"... such inappropriate marital conduct as renders further cohabitation unsafe and improper."

WTH is that all about? Unsafe seems... bad. Like, some-kind-of-abuse bad. The couple met in 2010 and wed in 2013 and have three kids. Insiders say Jay didn't care about his wife's successful career and was uninterested in living a shared life.

Bye, Felicia.

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#2 MEGHAN MCCAIN

While I appreciate an outspoken women, that doesn't mean your opinion is right and everyone else's is wrong. She took exception to comments Elisabeth Hasselbeck made regarding The Rona. Elisabeth said she was taking precautions, but as a woman of Faith, she was praying a lot. Well, Meghan didn't like that whole "prayer" thing and said:

"I took this virus seriously from the very beginning, and I thought a lot of this rhetoric was really dangerous. I think it's really, really unfortunate and dangerous that she said that."

That she said we shouldn't panic? Because panic serves no one. Yeah, all that hoarding of supplies is panic... but that's okay. Just don't pray. Can't we just accept that people are dealing with this crisis in their best way possible? Prayin' and Purellin' can't hurt, no?

Maybe you should wash your hands and your pie hole. Thanks.

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#1 KANYE WEST

Only Kanye would get pissed at Forbes magazine for recognizing his billionaire status. Because he's actually a $3 billionaire-- and he wants it corrected! First of all, Kanye was displeased when the magazine didn't recognize him as a billionaire last year. So, he pulled a Whitney Houston and "showed the receipts". He got his public props. But, since he claims he's worth more than the $1.3 billion Forbes claims, well...

Again, he and his staff sent over the receipts to prove his filthy wealth. He has his music money, and alllll that product money (from his shoe company.) But since he's still partnered with Adidas in that deal, then the proceeds aren't all his... Hhmmm... Just like inches, some men may misrepresent the length of their cash stack.

For every positive step he takes forward, he takes five back. Look, Yeezy. You have a whole pile of f&ck you money. So, STFU. It's fitting.

Yeezy & Skeezy

11/22/2019

Offenders for the week ending November 22, 2019:

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#3 KANYE WEST

Though you've been in the line of slap fire many times, you're only getting a minimum one this time around. Your change of heart-- and soul-- and public proclamation of Faith has been surprising. And though you've been very public with your stumbling blocks to living a more Christ-like life, you are still Kanye...

While making an appearance and giving his testimony at Joel Osteen's church in Texas, Kanye declared that he is:

"... the greatest artist that God ever created."

Sigh.

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#2 ANGELINA JOLIE

We all know you're a freak-a-leek, and that you have an interesting personality... but who knew how vindictive you are. Angie and Brad's children are put in the middle of their never-going-to-get-divorced situation. And now, Angie doesn't want Brad to ever see the kids.

"Brad's lost count of the times they haven't been available to see him on special occasions, like birthdays or holidays. On Halloween, Angie made no effort to organize any type of family get-together, so he had no access to the kids once again."

Why so bitter, bitch? You've accused Brad of drunkenness, abusive parenting, and a whole slew of things. Oh, and you said he forced you to get married. Really? You don't strike me as a chick who doesn't do what she doesn't want to. Hey, at least he didn't leave you for another woman like he did his first wife (Jennifer Anniston), you dirty little mistress...

But supposedly she's dating her next share-vials-of-blood-and-wear-on-our-necks victim....

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#1 RAY J

Thanks, dude. Because of your sneaky secret filming of your "happy fun time" with Kim Kardashian back (door)-in-the-day we are infiltrated with Kardashians/Jenners. Apparently, being skeezy is your thing. Because your wife is throwing some massive oak tree shade your way.

Ray J posted a pic of himself, Princess Love (his pregnant wife), and their 18-month-old daughter from the BET Soul Train Music Awards in Vegas last weekend with the caption: "Thank you @bet. #SoulTrainAwards @princesslove @melodylovenorwood". Awwww turned into ohhhhh when Ms. Love posted back:

"Left me and Melody stranded in Vegas and blocked me from calling... now you wanna post family photos."

She added the LOL with tears emoji, so...

Momma said she had a car in Vegas but didn't want to drive back to Cali, all 8-months pregnant and with a toddler. I don't blame her. Unless this woman set your d*ck on fire, you have no reason to abandon her or your child.

Does the "J" in your name stand for "jerk", "jackass", "jagoff", "jackhole"?....

Jailhouse C&ck

1/4/2019

Offenders for the week ending January 4, 2019:

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#3 MADONNA

In a sad need to remain top-of-mind, it appears Madge has gotten butt implants. Just in time for the New Year! Apparently, she was performing on stage at a gay club in NYC with her 13-year-old son when patrons noticed a curvier derriere. And it's obvious she didn't receive the gluteal gain from a lot of squats. Her ass looks like a mini-Minaj-- like two cantaloupes stuffed into some stretchy pants. Fans reacted:

"Looks like she has a pillow down there!"

"GOTTA be pads. GOTTA be. Right?!?!"

Others were saying that the lump was the battery pack for her in-ears. Battery packs aren't curvy.... butt.... the truth remains to be seen. Just hope she doesn't drop her pants to prove either theory. For the love of God, put your lady stuff away!

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#2 KANYE WEST

I don't know why Yeezy has such a boner for Drake. Maybe it's because he's Canadian. If that's the case, okay. You live in our country's attic, basically, so just stay there. But for realz, Kanye is bent because Drake-- at one time-- followed his wife, Kimmie K, on the Insta. Well, lock him up! Kim has a gajillion followers because she's perpetually in a state of near-undress. Of course any straight man with a pulse in his crotch is gonna follow her! But there is no talking logic to Kanye:

"I never knew till this morning that Drake followed my wife on Instagram back in September. I had to bring this up because it's the most f*cked up thing of all and I just saw it this morning. Imagine having a problem with somebody and they follow your wife on Instagram."

Ohhhkaaaaay.

Drake and Kanye have been beefin' since Kanye accused Drake of trying to contact the Kardashians and allegedly threatening some kind of physical harm over revealing that Drake has a 14-year-old love-child.

My head hurts for so many reasons. But seriously, why isn't Kanye a reality show? So. Much. Material.

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#1 RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO, "Jersey Shore" Castmember

Is it the Jersey Way to star on a reality TV show, then become a criminal? Fellow castmember Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was sentenced to eight months in prison for tax evasion, and now his buddy might be joining him in the clink if he can't get his shizz together. Ronster is a "person of interest" in a possible burglary that happened in the wee hours of New Year's Day. At least he's finally the "interesting" one from that cast. Too bad he needed a toxic relationship and potential criminal record to make that a reality.

Ronnie and his baby-momma Jen Harley are constantly on-again, off-again. So, they were "on" on New Year's Eve, but then "off" after an argument. There was alleged destruction of property, the thieving of property, but fortunately-- no violence.

Dude, get away from the Jen-uation. She's bad news. There are plenty of other spray-tanned, big-haired, teenie-bikini shore chicks for you to "dock your canoe". And most importantly-- you are the father of an 8-month-old girl. What kind of example are you setting? A sh&tty one. Back off the 'roids and man up where it counts-- your character.

Don't let your brain become as shriveled as your nuts.

Tricky Dickies

9/28/2018

Offenders for the week ending September 28, 2018:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON

This dude cannot quit the pink taco! Earlier this year, T.T. was caught in a cheating scandal. And now, guess what? He was spotted leaving a Hollywood club with two brunettes. Double dribble! Well, there's no evidence that he engaged in any no-no place activities. But... he does behave in a suspicious manner.

Things have been going groovy for Khloe Kardashian and Tristan. They moved to California for the summer so her family could spend time with their baby, Tru. The Kardashians forgave Tristan's wander wang ways, and everything was peaches and cream. (And perhaps he's getting some peaches and cream for dessert.)

Or... the reason he left the club with the two brunettes is because he's an Uber driver on the side... Or, he wants to ensure more CAVS victories. He plays better when he plays around.

#GivinRides

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#2 KANYE WEST

Kanye should go work at Wendy's, cuz he's beefin' again. This time with Drake, Nick Cannon, and Tyson Beckford. Damn! That's a triple combo meal with cheese! Mr. West had these words:

"I just want to express some tings that are not sitting right with my spirit. Now that I'm out of the sunken place, I think and just be Ye and express how I feel. There's a couple of things I want to address. First of all I want to address Nick Cannon, like, I understand that you used to date my wife, but you know, you're (giving) an interview, don't mention my wife. Don't be making no suggestions, like nobody f&cked my wife."

What? I dozed off. See, Nick said that Drake "smashed" Kim Kardashian.

Would this really be shocking? And who cares. Many a train has spilled its cargo rollin' through that tunnel.

He's mad at Tyson for saying his boo is a homophobe, and is mad at Drake for something involving his maybe-secret love child.

Did you get all that? But Kanye is an optimist:

"... all three of you all, come talk to me. Holla at me. We will work it out and come to a resolution..."

Uhm. I don't think they give a rat's Yeezy about this mess.

#ZipYoLip

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#1 BILL COSBY

In case you missed it, Mr. Roofie Rapist was sentenced to three to 10 years in prison for drugging and raping Andrea Constand. Poor convict allegedly went ballistic at his home during his sentencing phase. Basically, he was upset that his lawyers didn't do a better job defending him. So, he tried to slam his cane on his kitchen counter, missed, and almost went through the window instead.

"He had a drink of iced tea and then tried swinging it again."

BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA!

Reports indicate that Kung Fu F&ckface swings his cane often at stuff and noises because he can't see. Guess he'll have to get good with a broom handle in prison. Speaking of, Billy had a rough first day behind bars. Someone threw a stale hotdog bun at him, and he fell down a flight of steps because he's not allowed to have his cane. He told his complicit wife, Camille to:

"...grab the checkbook and hire anyone and everyone" to get him out of prison.

I can only imagine how difficult his shower situation will be. Finally, after all these years and all those victims... Some justice. This is the legacy you now leave behind, ball fuzz.

#PuddinPopInThePooper

Pound-Her-Rosa

8/17/2018

Offenders for the week ending August 17, 2018:

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#3 ISAIAH THOMAS

Somebody is letting his inner douche flag fly high. The Denver Nuggets "star" went live on the Insta naming all the cities he's played for and what he thought about them. He said he totally understands why Lebron left Cleveland, because:

"Cleveland was a sh*thole."

Like your mouth? Well, he recanted:

"Cleveland wasn't that bad... Cleveland was actually cool, it was all right. The situation wasn't the best..."

Cry me a river. You got to play ball with LeBron. Get. Over. It.

Isaiah who?

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#2 KANYE WEST

He definitely has his own special brand of loco going on. In his latest track, "XTCY," Kanye shares his desire to "smash" his SILs. Not "bash" or "hit," unless those words also convey the desire to bump uglies:

"You got sick thoughts? I got more of 'em/You got a sister-in-law you would smash? I got four of them."

Vurp.

I'm sure the gals are okay with this? Your WIFE? I mean, recognizing your relatives are attractive is one thing. Feeling (in your loins) that a relative is "bangable" is, well, vomitous.

FYI: You're gonna get BPA poisoning with all those plastic vageens.

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#1 OMAROSA

I've always believed this ass skank was one of the most vile creatures on this planet. And she proves me correct again with her latest stunt. I really don't know why this ball beater was ever hired to work at the White House, but that's not the gist of this analysis.

This reality TV show hack worked for 11-months within the most prestigious home in the world, was fired, then decided to write a book chronicling the "truths" of the Trump White House. She made the TV show rounds to pimp her slut, playing secret recordings and making all kinds of claims. Just like everyone else making claims.

Aside: if the President is a known racist, why would you-- of a non-white heritage-- want to work for someone who allegedly loathes you?

So sorry your book isn't a best-seller-- not. I think it's because people can see through your big ol' shade tree for the actual truth-- you got your shizz together enough to get hired, with the intent on slithering in like a snake, eating bodies whole, to gather "intel" for your let's-turn-this-book-into-a-movie-product-tv-show-moneymaker.

#FAIL

I disagree with the President calling you a dog. Because dogs are loving and loyal. You're just a psycho opportunistic assh&le.

Girl, bye!

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