Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior - Haus of V

Wild, Wild, West

8/12/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 12th, 2022:

#3 VICTORIA BECKHAM

It's all joy and bliss when you get engaged and are planning your wedding. What may not be blissful is any tension amongst your new family members. Nicola Peltz is Victoria's new daughter-in-law. She posted a teary-eyed selfie on the Insa with the caption:

“We all have days where people make you feel bad and it’s okay to be hurt by it."

According to sources, the two aren't getting along because Nicola didn't want Vickie's input when it came to the wedding planning. Now, this petty drama has become a "thing" which is just stupid. Now, Victoria and David haven't had much contact with their son because of this dramz.

As a wiser woman, you need to know your place and be the bigger person in a situation like this. She is a part of the family, and you need to let things slide. Any bride wants to plan the wedding she wants. Show some grace. Be as classy as your style.

#2 TERESA GUIDICE, JOE & MELISSA GORGA, Castmembers/Real Housewives of New Jersey

This hot mess family will always remain messy. Teresa got married to her newest money succubus and her bro and sister-in-law backed out of attending. And now the fight is on! The Gorgas RSVPed "yes" to the lavish nuptials, but because Teresa has been spreading rumors that her SIL is letting her legs flop open, the couple decided to no-show. And Teresa is seething. She supposedly sent a bill to them demanding reimbursement.

"Meals at Park Chateau Estates and Gardens are not cheap. It’s rude to say ‘yes,’ and then change your mind in the 11th hour. This stuff isn’t refundable. Teresa got stuck with the check and to make matters worse, Joe and Melissa didn’t even send her a gift."

EGADS! It's happened to me. It's a part of doing wedding business.

An insider, though, has the Gorga's backs:

"They're not going to celebrate Teresa's new marriage when all she does is try to tear apart theirs. It's telling that Teresa didn't have one relative at her wedding. But that's the choice Teresa made."

This family deserves each other in so many ways. Being rich and famous doesn't make you a better person. It many times makes someone a bigger asshat.

#1 KANYE WEST

As always happens, the Pete Davidson flame burns bright and hot and strong, and then-- POOF-- goes out. It's over between Pete and Kim Kardashian, and her soon-to-be-ex-husband couldn't be more thrilled. So much so, that he resorted to his usual childish, bullying behavior by going public with his glee. He posted a meme, a mock-up New York Times front-page headline that said: "Skete Davidson Dead At Age 28".

Kim was pissed, to say the least. And she wants it known that she is not reconciling with the father of her children:

“She’ll never get back with Kanye over the way he’s treated the people she loves and respects."

Even Kanye's fans are asking him to just stop. As for the Kim-Pete split, it was first reported that the reason was because he wanted marriage and she didn't, plus the age gap (she's 41, he's 28), but maybe it's mostly because of Ye. A source says:

"Pete's been in trauma therapy since April - and it's all about Kanye's online abuse. The attention and negativity coming from Kanye and his antics is a trigger for [Pete], and he's had to seek out help."

Yet cancel culture ain't coming for this guy.

Kanye West is a brat
He doesn't know where it's at
When his ego gets hurt
His large mouth will squirt
Vile and venom
Put your head back up your rectum
Where it belongs
You warted schlong

Ye-st Infection

3/11/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending March 11th, 2022:

#3 TRAVIS SCOTT

Just because you're grown doesn't mean you should stop having fun. But, as grown people, responsibilities come first. Like raising your children-- especially a new baby. His newest offspring, one-month-old Wolf, hasn't spent much time with his daddy because daddy can't stop livin' the party life. And momma Kylie Jenner has put her well-pedicured foot down! An insider said...

“This is a very important time in their life, and she needs him now more than ever. Travis has been incredibly supportive throughout Kylie’s pregnancy, and she still wants him to be there morning, noon, and night. Kylie gets that he’ll have work obligations or appearances, but other than that she wants him home for the time being.”

And not let his wang-o-matic lead him astray.

Travis. We know you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you're not a butter knife. Don't be an idiot.

#2 ALEC BALDWIN

This arrogant, angry piece of f&ck is actually throwing shade at some of the people who've filed lawsuits against him over the deadly shooting on the "Rust" movie set. He decided to break out the oak branches while speaking at the Boulder International Film Festival in Colorado. He snuck this gem in:

“What you have is a certain group of people, litigants and whatever, on whatever side, who their attitude is, ‘Well, the people who likely seem negligent have no money and the people who have money are not negligent. But we're not gonna let that stop us from doing what we need to do in terms of litigation.' Why sue people if you're not going to get money? That's what you're doing it for.”

Because the victims' families need some kind of compensation that won't make up for what was taken from them. Also, if I cause a car accident that kills someone I can be charged with manslaughter-- even though I didn't intentionally kill someone, my actions did cause someone else's death.

I'm not saying you're in the wrong or in the right. But you should really STFU and keep a low profile until things work their way through the system. I really wouldn't walk around playing the victim, but then again, I don't reek of water and vinegar like you do.

#1 KANYE WEST

There aren't enough slaps in the world for this fool. Because he can't help but act like a petulant child. Another week, another round of harassing Pete Davidson. I get that we all don't get his attraction. I mean, Pete looks like Powder, but apparently carries a big stick. You need to grow up and realize that your wife, Kim Kardashian, left you-- and she wants nothing to do with you romantically ever again.

Kanye's latest offense? In his newest music video for the tune "Eazy", he appears to behead a Claymation rendition of Pete. Props to Pete for laughing it off on the socials, but come on, Kanye! He claims he's just expressing his "art""

"Art is therapy just like this view. Art is protected as freedom of speech. Art inspires and simplifies the world. Art is not a proxy for any ill or harm."

Sigh.

Nobody's looking at you like an artist. Perhaps another word that starts with "ass" and ends in "hole."

Richardfest

2/18/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending February 18th, 2022:

This week, three former Kardashian significant others dominate this damn thing!

#3 LAMAR ODOM

Khloe Kardashian's ex-husband has had a rough go of life. This dude effed up his marriage to Khloe, then nearly died from a relapse into drugging and drinking. Now, while a part of the Celebrity Big Brother house, he's admitted that he wants another chance. With Khloe. Oh. Hell. No. Glad he realizes what he lost, tho:

“I never thought about getting married again. I didn’t treat that good woman right.”

One of his co-stars then encouraged him to reach out to the family once filming is done.

Look. Reach out and do your apology tour. Then-- go away. Work on yourself and finding a healthy relationship.

And this is for you Khloe-- DON'T.

#2 KANYE WEST

Some people like to spend the weekend just chillin'. But Kim Kardashian's soon-to-be-ex used the weekend to turn his Twitter account into an anti-Pete Davidson tribute. Ye decided to tell the world that Kid Cudi is off his new "Donda" album because he's friends with Pete. KC responded:

“You're whack for flipping the script and posting this lie just for a look on the internet. You ain't no friend. BYE."

But this didn't stop Kanye, oh no! He brought Pete's ex, Ariana Grande into the mess, as well as calling Pete "Hillary Clinton's ex-boyfriend." What does that even mean? Anywho, he then posted a photoshopped movie poster of "Fight Night" as a "West versus Davidson" battle, and then photoshopped a "Captain America: Civil War" poster to take shots at a bunch of other people.

Take. Your. Meds.

He apparently did that, and decided to literally buy a truckload of flowers for Kim.

Keep it up, and she's gonna put them on your grave.

#1 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Another Khloe ex with this one. This wandering wangster wanged Maralee Nichols and now he has a nearly-2-year-old son-- that he tried to deny-- but then admitted to in January. When he was forced to fess-up to his wick-dipping, he said he would do the right thing and take care of his son. But guess what? This from a rep for Maralee:

“Despite news reports stating otherwise, Tristan Thompson has done nothing to support their son. He has not made any attempt to meet their son nor has he provided any financial assistance.”

Not shocking. His whole attitude previously revolved around the fact that he won't be playing basketball anymore so he doesn't have basketball money to support a kid.

Then you should've wrapped your snake.

Your child at least deserves your money. Because you're pretty worthless. Do the right thing for once. And not just care about the kid you had with Khloe, because you want to suckle off the Kardashian teat some more.

Hot in Here

2/11/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending February 11th, 2022:

#3 NICOLAS CAGE

Congrats for making it to an entire year of wedded bliss with wife number five. Yeah. Number five. Nic had this to say about it:

“I'm really happily married. I know five is a lot, but I think I got it right this time."

Oh, goodie! Now that his personal life is settled... ish... for now, Mr. Cage wants us to no longer call him an "actor" (well, that's been easy to do.) Instead, he prefers we call him a "thespian."

“I sound like a pretentious fart for saying ‘thespian’ but acting now has become like lying. It sounds like I’m lying. If you’re a great actor, you’re a great liar. ‘Thespian’ seems more like it’s about finding some truth within and then projecting it for others to get it. At least, it does to me. But I’m not always on the same wavelength as everyone else.”

Not on the same wavelength? Duh. We prefer to call you a "caricature" of an actor pretending to be a thespian.

#2 NELLY

Surprise on the 'Gram for Nelly's followers. A video of a woman playing his skin flute popped up. Nelly's peeps quickly deleted the video, but not before screenshots captured some of the action. Nelly apologized:

“I sincerely apologize to the young lady and her family, this is unwanted publicity for her/them. This was an old video that was private and never meant to go public.”

Again, why you don't need any evidence of anything happening! By the by, perhaps his "Hot in Here" lyrics were just a self-fulfilling prophecy:

"Nelly hang all out
Mix a little bit
(Uh, uh)
With a little bit
(Uh, uh)"

Please tell me someone will name his next sexy video as "Hot in Her"...

#1 KANYE WEST & KIM KARDASHIAN

I want to clunk their heads together. Because these two are acting like children. You're getting divorced. Kanye is jealous that Kim has moved on. Kim is tired of Kanye making their business all public and stuff. We're over it, too. So. Stop. Both of you!

These two dimwits are engaged in a parenting war on social media. Kanye isn't pleased that their daughter, North, is on Tik Tok. So, he says:

“SINCE THIS IS MY FIRST DIVORCE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO ABOUT MY DAUGHTER BEING PUT ON TIK TOK AGAINST MY WILL?”

Kim responds, publicly:

“As the parent who is the main provider and caregiver for our children, I am doing my best to protect our daughter while also allowing her to express her creativity in the medium that she wishes with adult supervision — because it brings her happiness.Divorce is difficult enough on our children and Kanye’s obsession with trying to control and manipulate our situation so negatively and publicly is only causing further pain for all.”

You two bitchers are causing ALL OF US pain. Go. A. Way.

Here's a thought: pick up the damned phone and actually use your words to have a conversation with each other. What a concept!

A reminder: you're both supposed to be grown people. And your children don't need this-- whether it's Kanye's tantrum, or Kim's well-written, passive-aggressive statement.

No Ye!

2/4/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending February 4th, 2022:

#3 SIMON COWELL

What's the definition of insanity? Doing something over and over and expecting different results. Or something like that. We're talking about you, Simon. The dude that broke his back in three places after wrecking his e-bike in 2020, decided that e-biking was a good idea again. No. It was not. Guess what happened? Dude tried to round a sharp corner, lost control because the pavement was wet, and crashed. This time, he broke his left arm, tore up his face, and suffered a concussion.

Kudos for wanting fitness. But keep it up, and your family is gonna be fittin' you in a pine box.

Allow me to call you what you've called many auditioners on Idol and Got Talent:

"You're an utter moron!"

#2 TERESA GIUDICE, from Real Housewives of New Jersey

After finally divorcing that POS first husband, this housewife wants to keep that status accurate with looming "til death do us part" vibes with her current flame, Luis. After going to prison for some shady money issues, which her first hubby caused, you'd think she'd be more mindful of the money she's been able to make back. Meaning, protect your ass-ets.

But... she says she has no plans on making Luis sign a prenup.

Teresa may be great at flipping tables, but the dining room upstairs is a bit empty.

While appearing on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live, Teresa said she didn't want to do the prenup. Cuz.... ? Your 'soulmate' should have no problem signing a document if he truly cares about you.

#1 KANYE WEST, or YE, or whatever he calls himself

Kanye has done and said a lot of questionable things in the past. But this is low. He's supposedly telling friends Pete Davison (who's dating his soon-to-be-ex Kim Kardashian) has AIDS.

"Kanye's been telling everybody within earshot" that Pete has AIDS. We're told Kanye's claim has made for a few awkward phone calls between Pete and mutual friends he has with Kanye -- who are confused and disturbed by the childish behavior."

Yes, I don't get the Pete Davison thing. I don't know why so many women are attracted to him. But, AIDS is not a joking matter. And, if you would play it cool you might have a shot at getting Kim back-- which is your goal. Because, that whole Pete's "d" worship ends quickly....

PrettYe Woman

1/14/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending January 14th, 2022:

#3 DRAKE

For you 'Bama fans out there, you can blame Drake for the loss of the national college football title to Georgia. Alabama was favored to win, and Drake was all "Roll Tide". There's rumors of a "Drake Curse" because most of the teams he supports, lose. In fact, it's been documented that if he wears a jersey, poses for a photo with an athlete, or is thinking about supporting a team, they will lose.

Basically, you're the Yoko Ono of sports...

#2 KANYE WEST

Ye is smitten with model Julia Fox. They met on New Year's Eve and then they spent some time together. And he treated her like a queen. She said when they went to a Manhattan hotel, he had a whole suite of clothes waiting for her.

"It felt like a real Cinderella moment. I don’t know how he did it, or how he got all of it there in time … Like, who does things like this on a second date? Or any date!”

She said their relationship is "organic".

Just. Stop. You're not going to make Kim jealous, Ye. She's swimming in all that Big D energy with Pete Davidson. Yes, hard to believe... but it's true.

#1 ANTONIO BROWN

The NFL is the biggest cauldron of dramz. And Antonio is top-shelf drama. Dude got released from the Bucs after he got bent and decided to strip his uniform off and flex for the fans before leaving the field over... I'm not sure. He claims he got cussed out by the coach because he didn't want to play injured, but then there's a question to whether he's injured, and then Antonio decided to show the receipts. Phew. Did you get all that? And now, he's coming for the GOAT, Tom Brady.

“Tom can’t do nothing by himself, this is a football game. If Tom Brady’s my boy, why am I playing for an earnest salary? You my boy, though, right? [Rob] Gronkowski is his boy, right? How much did he get paid? So, why is AB on a prove-it deal? Who’s better than me over there? Let’s be real.”

Why must dbags address themselves in third person!?!?! Yes, the answer is in the question...

Dragging Tom doesn't make you look any better.

What can Brown do for you? Act a fool and get shown the door. Kudos.

Ending on a Low Note

12/31/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 31st, 2021:

#3 COMMON, known rapper

Rapper Common and comedian Tiffany Haddish were all booed-up during the lockdown. And they were going strong for a year-- so deeply in love. And then... Splitsville. The reason? They're both so busy post-lockdown that there's no time for affection.

Hold that.

Tiffany is now saying that's not the case:

"He might be the type of person that never really settles with somebody, maybe he’s like, you know, like a bee going from flower to flower to flower. I don’t know. I wish him nothing but joy and happiness, you know. He will always be cool.”

Not if he's not being forthcoming on why y'all broke up! I guess he likes the "common" B.S. excuses instead of the truth.

#2 MEGHAN KING, former Reality TV "star" turned "Influencer"

Called it! Meghan's quickie marriage to Cuffe Owens is done-sy. And for this thrice-divorcee, she's crushed:

“I am rattled. This situation is profoundly devastating.This is obviously not what I imagined when I made my vows — and I’m shocked and saddened by the way things turned out. I am moving forward with my children (not Cuffe's) as we privately process our pain and begin to let go of shattered dreams.”

OMG! Sooooo dramatic! What in the af did you expect when your flighty-ass married this ween after THREE WEEKS of dating?

But, damn, they were three of the most fab weeks after meeting up on the Raya dating app.

“[We] texted for a day or two, then spent five straight hours on the phone the first time we spoke. By the time that call ended, Cuffe was booked and packed for a flight to St. Louis that took off in about eight hours. Within a week, we were back on the East Coast, meeting his family, and starting to plan our future together. We didn’t leave each other’s side for weeks.”

Methinks his being Biden's nephew was the main attraction. Cuz you could get extra clout coins for that move...

P.S. Is she going to marry a "Collar" next?

#1 KANYE WEST

I actually feel a wee bit sorry for ol' Kanye. Cuz he is reeking of desperation. Kim. Doesn't. Want. You. Anymore. This dude had been spending most of his married time on his ranch in Montana, away from Kim and the kids. And now that she's moved on-- he says he wants to stay married to her. And on top of that? He just bought a $4.5 million mansion in Hidden Hills, CA. Across the street from his soon-to-be-ex wife.

Perhaps you shouldn't have had such loose-lips, which embarrassed your entire family, and will come back to shame your children. Yes, your kids want you to stay together. Because, kids. But Kim isn't moved. In court papers:

"Irreconcilable differences have existed and continue to exist between [West] and me, which have caused our marriage to irretrievably break down. No counseling or reconciliation effort will be of any value at this time. There will be no prejudice to [West] if our marriage is immediately dissolved, especially given the fact that throughout our marriage, we adhered to the terms of our premarital agreement and maintained the separate property character of our assets.”

And on top of that? She's asked the court to declare her "single" while they work out custody.

Go write another record about all this and move on... And out of that new house!

Swagless

11/12/2021

Offender for the week ending November 12, 2021:

#3 SCOTT DISICK

This fool thinks if he keeps in good with the Kardashian/Jenners, he might get another shot at Kourtney. HA HA HA HA! He says he considers Kris Jenner to be a second mom to him, and that he gets along well with everyone-- except Kourtney.

Well, her opinion matters most. And she ain't leaving Travis Barker-- a real man. Just go back to age-inappropriate dating.

A little poem for you:

Disick
Is a dick
Not so slick
Go find a pole to lick

#2 JEFF BEZOS

Jeffy was just kidding, but you know a part of him was serious when he took a shot at the luscious Leo DiCaprio. Jeff and his lady love, Lauren Sanchez, were at some soiree where Leo was. And he was lookin' F-I-N-E in a tux. Lauren was alllll into Leo, and as he turned to walk away, it looked like she was going to grab his hand and follow. Well, Barstool Sports posted video of the exchange with the caption "Leo is Mr. Steal Yo Girl."

In response, Jeff posted a picture of himself standing by a sign that read: "Danger! Steep Cliff Fatal Drop" with the caption: "Leo, come over here. I want to show you something."

Look, Bezhos. You have more money than Leo. It's cool. Go ride your penis rocket to space. It'll be okay.

A little poem for you:

Sad but true
You got the bag
But Leo got swag
Boo hoo

#1 YE, formerly known as Kanye West

I've slapped this dude so many times, but he doesn't seem to learn. I actually feel sorry for him as he's going through a lot. Name change; marital status change. Reports came out months ago that these two are, indeed, getting divorced-- and that everything had been settled. Now, Ye claims he's never seen any divorce papers, and that he wants to stay together with Kim Kardashian. He's blaming the media, and streaming service Hulu for the breakup of his family:

"I wanna pull my family back together... It's MY family, Hulu."

What the eff does that mean? Perhaps you shouldn't have run off to your ranch in Montana for months at a time while your family was in L.A. Methinks he's just upset Kim's bumpin' uglies with Pete Davidson. I mean, I'd hurl too, but... you have your own little hook-up action going on...

A little poem for you:

Ye Ye
Go away
Change your name to
Overplayed

Papercuts & Uppercuts

9/17/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending September 17th, 2021:

#3 KANYE WEST

He might be the biggest overgrown toddler walking the Earth. Apparently, he's not taking his impending divorce to Kim Kardashian so well-- because he's unfollowed her on the IG. Since he only follows 14 accounts, it's kinda totally obvs that he unfollowed her. There were rumors that the two of them might reconcile, but apparently that's not happening. And in true Kanye fashion, this could be why he "lashed out" by unfollowing. For now.

Doesn't he have some home décor to design, meaning-- wiping his butt cheeks on stuff and charging $250 for that dish rag?

#2 CESAR MILAN

Maybe this dude needs to "TSCH!" himself. He may be dog-whispering, but sometimes dogs under his care are dog-biting.... His beloved pitbull, Junior, severely bit a promising gymnast. Lidia Matiss says she was bitten by Junior in 2017-- and that ended her career. That's because Junior was roaming the halls unsupervised at Cesar's compound-- where Lidia's mom worked.

And Queen Latifah has been brought up in the filing. Lidia's attorneys say Queen had taken two of her dogs to Cesar's Dog Psychology Center for training, but Junior mauled one of her dogs to death-- and Cesar had his staff cover it up. The excuse? The dog had been hit and killed by a car.

The truth shall set you free, Cesar. It's hard enough losing a pet, but to lie on top of it?

#1 CONNOR MCGREGGOR AND MACHINE GUN KELLY

These two need to have a seat in time out. Beefin' with each other accomplishes nothing-- but we are grateful for the entertainment. These two had a run-in on the red carpet at the MTV VMAs. Supposedly, Connor approached MGK (drink in hand) and requested a picture with him. That's when things took a turn. MGK's security shoved Connor, and Connor then threw his drink at MGK, and they had some words.

Beefin' Part Two: Connor was asked about the incident, and he said he didn't even know who MGK was and called him a "skinny Vanilla Ice rapper." Busted! if you didn't know who he was, you wouldn't know he was a rapper before he started dabbling in alt rock.

As for MGK? When asked about the incident, he smacked the mic out of the interviewer's hand.

Look, boys. Can't we just be chill? Because I think the two of you would actually get along if you'd let your 'tudes "calm their titties" (like grandpa would say.)

Febreezy Yeezy

9/10/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending September 10th, 2021:

#3 KANYE WEST

Two things here:

1. Though not shocking, this fool may have cheated on his "dream girl", now-ex wife Kim Kardashian. In his new song "Hurricane", he raps:

"Here I go actin' too rich/ Here I go with a new chick/ And I know what the truth is/ Still playin' after two kids/ It's a lot to digest when your life always movin'"

Perhaps it's more than cows he's been herding at that ranch of his...

2. Martha West? Kanye Stewart? Guess who wants to be a lifestyle brand? Yup. Shower curtains, towels, placemats, wall décor. Surely, it will all be overpriced and lookin' like something you've wiped your ass with. You know those towels granny got for free with the box of detergent? That's what I imagine he'll be "designing" and selling.

#2 ANGELINA JOLIE

Her big lips are loose lips. Girl is spilling all the tea about her relationship with Brad. Well, not really spilling all of it. Because she can't. She's alluded to a volatile relationship with her is-he-ever-gonna-be-her-ex in the past. But now in a recent interview, they fought really badly over Harvey Weinstein. She claims the perv tried to assault her, and she told Brad, and then asked him to not work on the film "Inglorious Basterds"-- produced by Weinstein. But he did star in the movie and Angie was mad. Weenstein is a known asshat, so I get it.

But... Angie also claims that she feared for her entire family's safety while being married to Brad, and that the decision to divorce was not an easy one to make. Too many women are in abusive relationships, and this is not making light of that. Something just seems off. Like she's dragging this whole thing out to drag Brad. If he is a true POS, then there would be more stories, no? From other women? She does have a book coming out, so...

#1 SCOTT DISICK

This man child can't get over Kourtney Kardashian. So much so, he slid into the DMs of one of her exes, threw shade at her to him, then made the DMs public himself. WTF? Well, Scott's waaaay younger GF, Amelia Gray Hamlin, dumped his creepy ass. Apparently, she was not pleased that old boy is still pining for Kourtney. Good for you, Amelia. But let's slap you, too. Dude was waaaay too old for you. He is old enough to be your dad. And you shouldn't have daddy issues, cuz your daddy is hot! Plus, why have dried, chipped beef when you can have some virile veal?

And Scott, get over it. Travis Barker may be all rocked and tatted-out. But he's cool and has cred. You're just... crud.