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Sprung a Leak(es)

2/8/2019

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Offenders for the week ending February 8, 2019:

via GIPHY

#3 BOW WOW
You've heard that saying: "Mess with the bull, you get the horns". Perhaps that's what happened to the former child star/rapper/now grown-up-actor now known by his birth name of Shad Moss. Dude was arrested for allegedly assaulting a woman last weekend. The alleged victim and Mr. Moss-Wow sustained minor visible injuries.

"Officers were unable to determine the primary aggressor of the altercation, so both parties were charged with battery."

What is it with rappers brawling with anyone they can? Next time, just run if you can. Also, I'd go back to using "Bow Wow". Because "Shad" is too close to "shat". Unless this is the direction you're going now. 

via GIPHY

#2 KENDALL JENNER
Widdle Kendall has admitted that she's "cried endlessly for days" over social media comments. But she's learning to get over it...

"I mean, don't get me wrong: I definitely feel, and the things people say online are very hurtful. You also just have to live your life and not pay attention to it."

Yes. Don't pay attention to the B.S. But seriously. No sympathy here. When you decided to chase the fame monster, you subconsciously agreed to to everything that comes along with it. Good and bad. But regardless, always remember that you have f*ck you money, So who cares what people think? You can buy all the ass-kissing friends you want!

via GIPHY

#1 NENE LEAKES, Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast Member
Loud-mouthed. Over-the-top. Pretentious. Some of the nicer words to describe Ms. Leakes. Foolish might be another one. How dare she come for the reality TV show queen, Lisa Vanderpump? Oh, no she didn't! NeNe has her Gucci panties wadded in her coochie over an alleged theft by LVP.  She claims she had an idea for a restaurant in West Hollywood, called Lisa up to ask for her advice, and Lisa said it would be a bad investment. Lisa co-owns several successful restaurants in Cali, and is set to open one in Vegas.

Anywho, after shooing NeNe away-- Lisa allegedly bought the same property and opened Pump restaurant there. NeNe is not happy:

                    "She did some real foul sh*t to me... We're gonna get Lisa Vanderpump."

What do you mean by this exactly? You're going to sue her? For what? You got schooled. It happens. Do you know how many ideas I've had stolen from me? It ain't easy opening a restaurant. Plus, it's kind of cliche for reality TV stars to do it nowadays, but whatevs. You have clothing boutiques or something so, hang your hat on that... so to speak.

Leave the Queen alone. She's got business savvy and ultra coolness. Out of your league.

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So Are The Days of The Stupid...

10/16/2017

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Dramatic re-enactments, celebs choking on their own words, and a whole lotta sass! Take a listen to this week's Celebrity Slap!

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Out of The Mouths of The Chronically Stupid...

10/13/2017

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Offenders for the week ending October 13, 2017:
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"... and 3/4 racism"
#3 DOVE
Dear Dove: I know you want my skin to be as pure as the driven (white) snow after using your product, but your latest ad has left you looking like the driven on snow. 

In these hypersensitive times, anything you say or do can be misconstrued as racist, sexist, ageist, so why not have someone triple-check your work before you launch a major ad campaign? In the ad, an African-American woman removes her brown shirt to reveal-- she's a white woman underneath. Have we gone back to 1925? Seriously. Of course, the Internets went cray-cray. Dove's parent company, Unilever apologized:

"As part of a campaign for Dove body wash, a 3-second video clip was posted to the US Facebook page. This did not represent the diversity of real beauty which is something Dove is passionate about and is core to our beliefs, and it should not have happened..."

Duh. It shouldn't have happened. As teech used to say in school: "Everyone, let's put on our thinking caps..."

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"If you're douche-y and you know it, clap your hands..."
#2 HARVEY WEINSTEIN
Ah, yes. It's never pretty when brothers hate each other: The Gallagher Brothers from Oasis; The Robinson Brothers from The Black Crowes; Cain and Abel... 

Looks like Bob blew the whistle on his brother and the business partner he hates, exposing Harv's misogyny. Oh how the douchey fall hard. After decades of pay-offs and grab-assery, Harvey has been outed for sexually harassing, and even raping, actresses. And everyone kept it quiet because men and women want to work in Hollywood. It's a vicious cycle that's been around since the beginning of time-- sexual extortion. I'm not surprised at all at his behavior. Repulsed, yes. More so because this beef sniffer has daughters. Daughters! How would you respond if your little girl was asked to watch a dude shower against her will, or if she were forced to watch him juggle his fruit bowl? 

You're pathetic, an affront to your gender, to those that have power that's not abused. Of course in an effort to gain sympathy, this scum biter has checked himself into rehab for "sex addiction." Please. I'm so over this misused buzz phrase that predatory swine like you are tossing out to excuse your tossing off. Some people truly have an issue. You, on the other hand, do not. 

Glad your wife left you. Hopefully, you won't see your children, either. And... if the stars and planets align and justice is served-- you'll face prison time... And some fellow deviants that would love to give you the "broom handle greeting."

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Poop, poop, poop runneth from theymouth...
#1  A TRIFECTA OF TW@TS: NENE LEAKES, WENDY WILLIAMS & DONNA KARAN
Women are the worst. For real. Women are downright nasty to other women. I'm amazed at women who proclaim to be feminists and advocate for women's rights who take no time tearing another woman down. Case in point-- this trifecta. 

Let's start with Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member NeNe. Guess her new thing now is a try at standup comedy. Well, just because you can throw shade and flap your gums doesn't mean you're funny. But I digress. She got heckled  by a female. And because she's unpolished and isn't funny, she couldn't take it. So, she told the woman: "I ain't even gonna tell you about the goddamn Uber driver. I hope he rape yo' ass tonight when he take you home, bitch." Classy. This from a woman who's been the victim of sexual assault. But she's sorry.

Then, there's big-mouth Wendy Williams. Here's her commentary on the woman who claims rapper Nelly forced her to have unprotected sex: "If she did not put herself in that situation, this wouldn't have happened. Young lady, you've got to stay out of tour buses." Would I hang out on a musician's tour bus? Hell no! Not unless I expected to do something sexual. But that doesn't not make it right to take advantage of someone because they're on a bus. Oh, Wendy's sorry for what she said. 

Lastly, designer Donna Karan. She's totally on Harvey Weinstein's side. Women are to blame when they're harassed or attacked. "You look at everything all over the world today and how women are dressing and what they are asking just by presenting themselves the way they do. What are they asking for? Trouble." Hope you're designing burqas now, otherwise, everyone's gettin' rapey! And you guessed it, Donna is sorry for her comments.

Here's a thought I'm not sorry about: F*ck off. 

PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com
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    I lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;)

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