Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior - Haus of V

Bull Sh*t

11/19/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending November 19, 2021:

It's a rarity when it happens. Someone is so offensive, they take the crown solo. But here we are.

#3, #2, #1 MICHAEL WEATHERLY

Sometimes I forget we're in the year 2021. A time and place where we're supposed to be evolved. Better. Not as douchey. But then there's the star/producer of the TV show Bull. And in 2021, women are still flaked over if they take a stand. Eliza Dushku was fired from the show after she went to the big-wigs at CBS Studios to file a harassment complaint against Weatherly. What happened to her? Let's spill.

Testifying before a congressional committee that was formed to consider legislation to eliminate forced arbitration clauses in employment, consumer, and civil rights cases, she shared her arbitration story-- and being fired in silence.

"I suffered near constant sexual harassment from my co-star. This was beyond anything I had experienced in my 30-year career."

She was referred to as "legs", and Weatherly would "smell her and leeringly look her up and down." Weatherly also told her that he and his buddy wanted to have a threesome with her. But if that weren't disturbing enough. This:

"Off script in front of about a hundred crew members and cast members, he once said that he would take me to his 'rape van' and use lube and long phallic things on me, and take me over his knee and spank me like a little girl."

What in the actual f*ck? When is it ever funny or acceptable or cool to joke about rape? It's funny to force a human being to do things they don't want to do, and to damage one's psyche for ever?

This anal hair then went to the head of CBS Studios and told him that Eliza had a "humor deficit" and didn't want her on the show. And he got his way.

When is the Boys Club going to be dissolved. What's sad is that this occurs in many workplaces. I know this for a fact. And arbitration is in just about in every entertainment contract. I also know this for a fact. So glad she stood up for herself, despite the consequences. I've been there, too.

Michael Weatherly is a complete POS who should be castrated, slapped with his micro ween, then set ablaze. At minimum. And this f*ck towel has daughters. I guess he'd be okay with his daughters being treated like this, right? Hope they don't encounter someone's "rape van."

Swagless

11/12/2021

Offender for the week ending November 12, 2021:

#3 SCOTT DISICK

This fool thinks if he keeps in good with the Kardashian/Jenners, he might get another shot at Kourtney. HA HA HA HA! He says he considers Kris Jenner to be a second mom to him, and that he gets along well with everyone-- except Kourtney.

Well, her opinion matters most. And she ain't leaving Travis Barker-- a real man. Just go back to age-inappropriate dating.

A little poem for you:

Disick
Is a dick
Not so slick
Go find a pole to lick

#2 JEFF BEZOS

Jeffy was just kidding, but you know a part of him was serious when he took a shot at the luscious Leo DiCaprio. Jeff and his lady love, Lauren Sanchez, were at some soiree where Leo was. And he was lookin' F-I-N-E in a tux. Lauren was alllll into Leo, and as he turned to walk away, it looked like she was going to grab his hand and follow. Well, Barstool Sports posted video of the exchange with the caption "Leo is Mr. Steal Yo Girl."

In response, Jeff posted a picture of himself standing by a sign that read: "Danger! Steep Cliff Fatal Drop" with the caption: "Leo, come over here. I want to show you something."

Look, Bezhos. You have more money than Leo. It's cool. Go ride your penis rocket to space. It'll be okay.

A little poem for you:

Sad but true
You got the bag
But Leo got swag
Boo hoo

#1 YE, formerly known as Kanye West

I've slapped this dude so many times, but he doesn't seem to learn. I actually feel sorry for him as he's going through a lot. Name change; marital status change. Reports came out months ago that these two are, indeed, getting divorced-- and that everything had been settled. Now, Ye claims he's never seen any divorce papers, and that he wants to stay together with Kim Kardashian. He's blaming the media, and streaming service Hulu for the breakup of his family:

"I wanna pull my family back together... It's MY family, Hulu."

What the eff does that mean? Perhaps you shouldn't have run off to your ranch in Montana for months at a time while your family was in L.A. Methinks he's just upset Kim's bumpin' uglies with Pete Davidson. I mean, I'd hurl too, but... you have your own little hook-up action going on...

A little poem for you:

Ye Ye
Go away
Change your name to
Overplayed

Different Direction

11/5/2021

Offender for the week ending November 5, 2021:

#3 HARVEY WEINSTEIN

There really is no room for people like Harvey Weinween on this planet. You know the type-- asshats that terrorize people; sexually harass people; threaten people. You might even work with someone just like this, sadly. Continuing to prove what a large, steamy POS this guy is, the story that Harvo effed-over the late Robin Williams. According to Kevin Smith, Weenerstein purposely pulled "Good Will Hunting" from theaters early so that Robin wouldn't get too much money from his back-end deal. Kevin said:

"It was like, 'Wait. There's all this Oscar buzz, so why would you pull it if it was just making money? They did it because keeping it in theaters meant that more of the money would go to Robin, whereas the moment it went to video, the split wasn't Robin-heavy. It was hamstrung because (of) greed."

The film made over $225 million and won two Oscars.

Is there a place worse than hell for him to burn in? Or should he get some good ol' Old Testament Justice, first?

#2 KIM KARDASHIAN

Kimmy. You've left behind one ball sack. Don't run into the bowl of another-- meaning-- stay away from Pete Davidson! This dude is a known wang slinger! There is no flesh ride in the world worth the grief. The two have been spotted holding hands, and they're trying to play that "we're just friends" line that nobody ever believes. A source says:

"No one really knows what's going on with Kim and Pete. They are just friends right now, but things could turn romantic."

I still cannot figure out what the attraction is. Maybe he runs the best game ever, because he just got done with Bridgerton's Phoebe Dynevor. He's got so many notches on his bedpost, the bedpost broke. Maybe he's trying to one-up John Mayer?

Anywho, make sure that man-ho wraps it. Do. Better... Literally.

#1 ZAYN MALIK

You shouldn't try to resolve conflict with shoving the grandmother of your child. But... Zayn has an anger issue, apparently. Yolanda Hadid, mother of Zayn's on-again-off-again GF Gigi Hadid, says Zayn struck her last week. Zayn says it's not true:

"I adamantly deny striking Yolanda Hadid and for the sake of my daughter I decline to give any further details."

Look. Yolanda may have been a part of the Real Housewives of Orange County at one point, but she's not a drama queen. She's always been the voice of reason. So, methinks the accusations are true. Enough so that Gigi has met with lawyers to arrange custody because, unfortunately, "Zayn will have to be a part of her (the baby's) life."

Zayn and Gigi have been toxic from day one. Time to move in a different direction. Hope you learned your lesson Malik The Deek. Or just keep being a "dick".

Ye-ppy Skippy

10/29/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending October 29, 2021:

#3 SCOTT DISICK

Somebody's not taking their ex's engagement so well! The dude who couldn't put a ring on Kourtney Kardashian in 10 years is upset that Travis Barker locked that down. WAAAAAH! First of all, you're a tool. Second, she's better off. Way better off. Travis is a rocker, and you're just... flaccid. An insider said:

"Scott is going crazy. He's going to go off the deep end. It's really bad. It's about to get dark."

This dude has been problematic since birth. Maybe he should get together with Travis' ex, Shanna Moakler. She's equally not pleased. They could console each other's dark hearts.

#2 KANYE WEST

Kanye is an interesting fella, isn't he? Well, he's no longer Kanye. He had his name legally changed from Kanye Omari West to... "Ye". Just... Ye. No middle name. No last name.

Is it pronounced "yay" or "yee"? Of the change he said:

"... the being formally known as Kanye West. I am YE."

So, it's capitalized? This is so confusing. I hope it's not "yee" because that sounds like "yeast". Which may explain a lot.

But how will this affect his next presidential run?

#1 GEORGE TAKEI

They say Italians will hold a grudge forever. You all have forgotten about the Asians-- we're talking holding a grudge for centuries if need be (I know because of some of my family members.) George will go to his grave hating William Shatner. His latest disgust? When Bill rode Jeff Bezos' rocket into space-- making him the oldest man to ever go to space.

George was bent:

"He's a guinea pig, so 90-years-old is going to show a great deal more on the wear and tear on the human body, so he'll be a good specimen to study. Although he's not the fittest specimen of 90-years-old, so he'll be a specimen that's unfit."

And then he said that Shatner went where others have already boldly gone. Damn, dude. Chill. Guess his beef with Shat is his belief that Shatner way back in the day cut a scene of his from one of the Star Trek movies and denied him command of a ship... which his character did get. But, whatevs. What world is George living in that he's so upset over Sulu's "slight".

Perhaps he's the one that's actually out of this world...

Wild Thing

10/8/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending October 8, 2021:

#3 CLARE CRAWLEY & DALE MOSS

This is why reality TV has ruined everything. Because we take "normal" people, give them a platform, and revel in their dysfunction. Clare and Dale would be two people we'd steer away from IRL because of their drama, but now? We're down with the mess because we realize their "celebrity" makes them no better than the rest of us with "situations".

These two have been on-again, off-again since Clare blew up Bachelor Nation by leaving her season of the Bachelorette a week in because she found "the one" with Dale. Apparently, he enjoys sharing his "one thing" with other ladies-- and they're done for good. For now. Clare has accused Dale of not being there for her as her mother is dying, for being a publicity hound, and for hooking-up with fellow Bachelor Nation member Abigail Herenger.

Abigail confirmed the encounter with Dale, but was under the presumption that things weren't serious between Dale and Clare. Girl, you're not the first one to ever hear that tale. So, we'll spare you the slap hand. Meanwhile, Dale and Clare-- brace yourselves. You two need to quit each other for good and move on. You don't want the same things and you can't bend another to your will. That's for you, Clare. Dale-- slink away and stop pretending to be a good guy.

#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

I had hoped she had disappeared, but she's baaaaack, with some other bullsh&t product that we don't need and that she's not qualified to sell: a female libido enhancer. Called DTF. Yes, DTF stands for exactly what it stands for on the streets: Down To F&ck.

While I will give her kudos for catchy product names, there is no way in hell anybody should be buying her overpriced shizz. Seriously. Buy overpriced stuff from someplace else. Anywho, perhaps she was feeling not-so-frisky herself, and therefore felt she would give women a product they can't get anywhere else (but can):

"Everyday stress and anxiety, hormonal changes, exhaustion, age... these can impact our libido and sexual health. So yes, we (with our science and research team) created a supplement that REALLY helps."

DTF contains Libifem fenugreek and shatavari (which sounds like somebody swearing at us) to get things...flowing... while improving mood.

Look, B. Women have wine for all of that. And maybe some women need to consciously uncouple from the "D" for a hot minute.

Don't you have a vageen to steam?

#1 CHARLIE SHEEN

He's so likable as an actor, so loathe-able as a person. And he's such a complete d*ck because he
can-- especially to those that have put up with his b.s. over the decades. The guy that brought tiger blood and #winning into our vernacular can't stop torturing ex-wife Denise Richards. His drug use and wandering wang tore their marriage apart, but she remained amenable and available for the sake of their kids-- who have now turned on her, thanks to Charlie. She even helped raise his children with his second ex-wife so the children would bond and get to know each other better!

Daughter Sam has decided to move in with daddy because she can't tolerate the rules in Denise's house. And even though Charlie is supposedly behind in child support, payments for Sam have been stopped. So, Denise will have to go to court for that. Charlie is playing "good cop" to Denise's supposed "bad cop":

"Everything's a big party. (at Charlie's house). He plays this game with the kids. (sweetening them up) with ice cream and movies and staying up late."

What's next? Mutual drug use. You're quickly becoming a primo POS.

Charlie Sheen
You're so mean
You have a tiny ween
So small it can't be seen
And what's there is probably unclean

R Skelly

10/1/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending October 1, 2021:

#3 NICK CANNON

So sad. The c*ck is on lockdown. Check that. They baby-making is, but not the lovin'. Nick says he's done with being fruitful and multiplying. This, after his therapist told him to try celibacy., Because he fathered 4 kids in less than a year, and now he was a total of 7.

He joked previously that he was going to start his own sperm bank. I mean, he could. Apparently he's got enough for the entire universe. But, it's best if he tucks his sack away-- just in case the zombie apocalypse happens and we need to jumpstart this thing again...

P.S. We would've cost you a lot less than you therapist to tell you the exact same thing.

#2 NICOLAS CAGE

What's that line from Animal House that's always perfect for situations like this?

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

Yup. That sums things up. Nico needs to get a grip on his drink-o. He was booted from the upscale Vegas eatery, Lawry's Prime Rib cuz they thought he was a homeless, drunk man raising all kinds of heck. A witness said he was "completely drunk" and arguing with a staff member before getting the boot.

"... was completely smashed. He was in a really bad state and was walking around shoeless... he had been downing shots of tequila and 1980 Macallan whiskey."

Apparently,. he was so drunk he couldn't get his flip-flops on. Two things you need to stay away from, Nic: Booze and women. Isn't he on wife #5 now?

P.S. Was it the movie Face/Off that made him a joke? Discuss...

#1 R. KELLY

This Ultimate POS is getting what we've all been waiting for-- a conviction. After decades of sexually abusing girls, boys and women, Rasshole finally was convicted on all 9-counts he faced-- including racketeering and violating the Mann Act (which prohibits the transport of any woman or girl across state lines for any "immoral purpose.") This is the first time he's been criminally prosecuted despite the allegations that have followed him for 25 years.

He faces 10-years-to-life in prison, and that doesn't feel like enough for all the lives he has destroyed. Even death is too good for this non-human. Years of torture is a good start. With Hell waiting for him in the end. So to speak...

P.S. If Bill Cosby says you've been wronged, then we all know we got it right. Too bad the two of you couldn't have shared a cell...

Rated R

8/27/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending August 27th, 2021:

It's a rare occurrence when the slap list is dedicated to one individual. But in this case, he's worthy of way more than a "slap". He needs extinguished from existence. So here we go:

#3, #2, #1 R. KELLY
Why is this dreg of society still walking around a free man? Probably because he has the money to pay people off. R. Kelly is on trial, charged with nine counts of racketeering and violations of the Mann Act, which makes it a crime to transport "any woman or girl" across state lines for any "immoral purpose." The testimony has been jaw-dropping-- but sadly, not shocking. Here are some of the lowlife-lights from court testimony.

Anthony Navarro was the douchebag's assistant from 2007 to 2009. He said R's Chicago mansion was like the Twilight Zone because:

"You went into the gate and it was like a different world... just a strange place."

Anthony was in charge of enforcing "Rob's Rules" as a way to keep the girls in line. He wasn't allowed to speak to them as he escorted the girls to their designated rooms-- that they weren't allowed to leave. One rule included:

"If they're (the girls) not where they're supposed to be, you'd have to tell Rob or a manager. They weren't supposed to be wandering around."

In addition, Anthony recalled reviewing security footage and seeing two teenage girls jump the fence to escape. Meanwhile, Demetrius Smith was R's former tour manager. He was in the inner circle, and helped orchestrate R's illegal marriage to Aaliyah. When Aaliyah was 15, she thought she was pregnant. R was worried about going to jail because she was 15 and he was 27, so he had Demetrius bribe a welfare office worker to make an illegal ID card that didn't show her date of birth. They then obtained a marriage license.

Then, a woman named Zel-- an aspiring then 17-year-old aspiring singer-- testified. She says her initial plan was to audition for him. But he pressured her for sex when he got to his hotel. After some time together, she informed R. that she needed to go back to school since she was only 17. Zel said he laughed in her face, slapped her, then told her she'd be home-schooled so she could live with him in Chicago. At one point, Zel got pregnant. R told her to get an abortion so she could "keep her body tight". Because his girls needed to

"...stay beautiful and innocent and that anything Daddy says is to help me."

If any girl broke any of Rob's Rules, they would be chastised with spankings that would tear the skin and leave bruises.

Oh, and if this wasn't horrific enough? R gave Zel the herpes-- then blamed her.

If convicted, he faces 10-years to life in prison. A lifetime wouldn't be enough IF he is convicted.

There is no pain he could suffer that would atone for all his crimes....

Double Oh-No!

8/20/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 20th, 2021:

#3 JIM EDMONDS

This fool is engaged again. This time to someone, the name doesn't really matter. This will make wife #4 for Jimmy. Is he trying to have as many wives as years he played in the MLB? Of course, this gal's "the one". Never age appropriate, by the way. But me wonders if this wife will want kids, like his third wife did, and then he wasn't there for those kids because he's in AARP land and doesn't care, but hey his sperm still swim, so....

That was a lot... like the number of ex wives he's going to have.

#2 DANIEL CRAIG

I have some mixed feelings about Daniel-- besides if he really made a good 007 or not. It seems he's a part of this trend to not leave his kids any money when he double-oh-dies because it ain't cool. So his intention is to give away his fortune while he's alive because he doesn't want to die rich. Sorry, kids. Daddy's worth $160-million, but you'll get nothing and like it.

"I don't want to leave great sums to the next generation. I think inheritance is quite distasteful. My philosophy is get rid of it or give it away before you go."

I get the concept that a person should make their own way in life, but unless your kids are complete douchenozzles, why the hate? There is nothing wrong with building generational wealth, which could lead to greater opportunities for your two daughters and their children. Legacy building ain't all bad.

But since this is how you're rollin', my hand is out if ya wanna drop some cheddar...

#1 MAMA JUNE

It's said that this creature rose to fame thanks to her daughter's (Honey Boo Boo) popularity on Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC. There was even a time when I was happy that Mama June was able to make a better life for herself and her kids. But then she went back to her trailer park ways, because you can't take the trailer park out of the person. One of her boyfriends was the same man that was accused of raping one of her daughters. Uhmmmm, WTF? And then she hooked up with Geno Doak and got into a bunch of trouble with crack cocaine use and possession and blowing through all her reality TV money.

Dumbass.

But she's seen the light, now. After Geno was sentenced to 16 months for his drug charges, she decided to end things with him.

"He's not a part of my life, hasn't been."

Maybe you'll learn that drugs and DV aren't the way to live. Though you've made money from being a hot mess. doesn't mean you shouldn't try to live a better life.

Dear Mama June
Quit thinkin' with your poon
Wake da fuque up
Before you get cut

What the Stank!?!?

8/6/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 6th, 2021:

#3 MACHINE GUN KELLY (aka: MGK)

K is not okay with his movie "Midnight in the Switchgrass." Plus: he met the love of his life, Megan Fox, on set. Minus: he ain't in the movie that much. In fact, the happy couple skipped the film's premiere and MGK, dropped this tweet:

"If I don't talk or tweet about a movie I'm barely in it's because it's (trash emoji)."

I mean, I applaud your telling the truth. I saw the trailer for this movie and it's not good. First of all, Bruce Willis doesn't need to do these crap movies, or does he? Second, no one is going to believe that your beloved Megan is an FBI agent. Even if I drank an entire bottle of wine would I believe she could be FBI. Unless it's some Cinemax after 11 pm movie, and "switchgrass" is changed to "switchsnatch" and Megan switches identities with another woman to entrap her lover that she believes is cheating on her.

Yes, I just made that up.

#2 ASHTON KUTCHER AND MILA KUNIS

WTH is it with Hollywood and the lack of hygiene? Seriously. Back in the day, I was crushed when it was revealed by Jennifer Aniston that then-hubby Brad Pitt rarely showered. Peee-you! There'd be no way I'd get near that musty fruitbowl! Wash that entire America-Mexico-South America area!

And now this power couple has consciously uncoupled with soap and water. And their kids, too! They don't believe in washing the entire body. But they do wash their "soles and holes" every day. Praise sweet baby Jesus for that at least! In regards to the kids? If they don't see dirt on them, they don't wash 'em. Hello!!!! They have "soles and holes", too.

Please add "pits and tits" to the list. Those can be some funky areas, too. Or better yet, while you're taking care of South America and Antarctica, wash the entire globe!!!

#1 R. KELLY

Why isn't this ultimate POS behind bars? Or breathing our good air? Another day, another depraved allegation against this d*uchenozzle. New York prosecutors came forward recently, accusing R (rapist?) of "grooming" young boys. He's accused of asking a minor:

"... what he was willing to do to succeed in the music business and clarified that he wanted John Doe #1 to engage in sexual contact with Kelly."

But there's more:

The teen introduced R. Criminal to John Doe #2, also a minor, and allegedly:

"paid John Doe #2 after sexual encounters with him."

And here's another gem. Federal documents claim the supposed perv's crisis manager bribed a Cook County clerk after the documentary Surviving R. Kelly aired.

Get this anal leak off the streets. He's a menace!

Cancel Culture Club

7/23/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 23rd, 2021:

#3 SPIKE LEE

He pulled a Steve Harvey x 100 at the Cannes Film Festival. He accidentally announced "Titane" as winner of the Palme d'Or-- which is the big prize-- before all the other prizes.

Duh!

That's like announcing the Best Film award at the Oscars at the beginning of the broadcast. Wait, that might be a good thing... Anywho, Spike is really sorry for the epic eff-up:

"I have no excuses. I messed up... It's like the guy at the end of the game who misses the free throw."

Dude. You weren't at the end of the game. That's the point. But we get it. You're lucky the French didn't pelt you with cheese and disdain...

#2 LARSA PIPPEN

I thought this THOT had left the building, but she's still out there gettin' pub as one of the Real Housewives of Miami. Whatever. But do you still need to talk about your affair with the very married NBA baller Malik Beasley? Oh, yeah. That's the only storyline you have....

She's opened her flaps again to share that she wouldn't get back with Malik if he tried to woo her. Uhhhmmmm, okay:

"(Larsa) has not been in communication with Malik and is unaware of what he's been up to... She has vowed she would not get back with him and would never take him back if he tried getting back with her. She's completely moved on and is enjoying being single again."

You're assuming he wants you back, after you disparaged his manhood and dating style publicly. Of course, he is a POS, but...

Actually sounds like you two deserve each other. Maybe you two should reunite for a reality TV show called, "The Hoe and The Hopeless."

#1 CHRISSY TEIGEN

Chrissy is all upset, afraid that she's been put in what she calls the "Cancel Club." She's all sad and depressed that people have come for her over her well-known bullying of women and people that don't fit her narrative.

"I really don't know what to say here. Just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s-t in real life. Going outside sucks and doesn't feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I'm handling this now isn't the right answer. I feel lost and need to find my place again."

Boo f&cking-hoo.

Where is your place? Since your perfection of Mean Girl-ism has been reviled, what will you do? Can't tell anyone on the socials (Courtney Stodden) to go 'take a dirt nap." Perhaps you should ask yourself why you feel the need to come for everybody. Why don't you stay in your lane and just talk about your cookbooks and your lifestyle crap? Live your life and let others live theirs. Unless you like wearing the crown of hypocrisy...