Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Twit Epidemic

8/16/2019

Offenders for the week ending August 16, 2019:

#3 THOMAS RAVENEL, former Southern Charm castmember

People can be hateful, hell-bent on destroying someone else. And people with privilege and money are even more hateful because they feel they can get away with it. This disgraced former politician served time in a federal prison for intent to sell a large amount of cocaine. He's been accused multiple times of assaulting women. He was exited from a reality TV show. And now, he won't stop fighting his baby momma, Southern Charm castmember Kathryn Dennis-- whether in court or via social media. This dude is on a smear campaign and is determined to hurt her every way he can.

Kathryn's mother recently died after a long battle with cancer. So, this psycho ass hat felt it was the perfect opportunity to kick someone when they're down. On the day of this woman's passing, Rapenel (alleged) posted a picture of his mother with his children by Kathryn on Twitter. Low blow. One Twitter follower called him out:

"Really? Timing is everything. You suck more every day."

True. Perhaps he'll go back to prison and suck whatever every day.

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#2 OLIVIA JADE

This bratty rectum fungus has made a major life decision. She's not going back to USC! You know, that university that her mommy and daddy (Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannuilli) lied and cheated (allegedly) to get her into. She's now going to return to her career as: Social Media Influencer.

"She never wanted to attend USC to begin with, and now she is sure that USC isn't the place for her. Right now her goal is to rebuild her brand and business."

Good luck. She lost a ton of jack after brands dropped her during the scandal. Her "people" are trying to convince her to start her own brand of something-- cosmetics, clothing. Whatevs. But since she has no ethics, perhaps her brand should test on animals, make clothing in sweatshops, etc... Here's an idea-- She could pimp things for liars: burner phones, clean urine samples, Ashley Madison subscriptions....

Here's another idea: Eat a large bag of dicks.

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Speaking of eating some Oscar Mayer, Miley is apparently done with meat and is going vajeegan. After less than a year of marriage to Liam Hemsworth, she's decided to call it quits. In a mutual statement:

"Ever-evolving, changing as partners and individuals, they have decided this is what's best while they both focus on themselves and careers. They still remain dedicated parents to all of their animals they share while lovingly taking this time apart. Please respect their process and privacy."

Privacy? This cooch waffle is nothing but an open-spread-eagle book. How many times have we been tortured with pics of her crotch? And that damned tongue sticking out of her stupid head! Anywho, she left her hot hubs for Brody Jenner's ex-wife Kaitlynn Carter. Miley and Kaitlynn took a girl's trip to Italy, and when they returned-- Miley dumped Liam. What a coincidence.

Seriously, who would ever want to be near this petri dish? Like the air around her would be heavy with funk. You really are a virus, Cyrus. MRSA times a thousand. How much penicillin will it take to wipe you from the planet?

Wilted Rose

8/9/2019

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Offenders for the week ending August 10, 2019:

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#3 GIGI HADID

I'm not into the reality show The Bachelorette. But I have plenty of friends and social media that's all about it, so I know what's happened. Tyler Cameron was the 2nd place "winner" but then ended up going out with Bachelorette Hannah after the show though he didn't win... and then in another soap opera turn, he decided to hang out with model Gigi Hadid. He's a tool, cuz not only is he swinging his schlong all over the place-- he missed a court appearance in Florida to go out with Gigi. But I digress.

This slap is about Gigi.

Girl, you are the "it" supermodel right now. You can have the best of the all-beef franks out there, and you're choosing a reality TV show creep? He's not even cute. And, he's obviously looking to keep his name out there by taking you out. Why entertain this fool? Are you slumming it? Best get a big supply of batteries instead of grabbing any sausage sammie that's available.

Wake up!

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#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

Haven't heard a nauseating peep from this one in ages, and then-- BAM! Made the list for a second week in a row. Last week, this offensive wench was worried about being "f&ckable" at her age, and now she dropped some eff bombs on Instagram Live when someone dared to question her cooking abilities:

"Do I actually cook? Yes, I f*cking cook! Goddamnit. You think I would write -- you think I would pretend to write cookbooks if I didn't cook?"

Uhmmm... yeah. There are plenty of "cooks" who write books and don't cook. Egads! So trashy for someone who claims to be so classy. Touchy much? Rule #1: don't engage a troll on social media. And if you do, no nastiness. Be savvy.

Bet you won' like it when I call you a "testicle junkie"... now, go make me a gourmet grilled cheese.

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#1 SHEP ROSE, Southern Charm cast member

This guy comes across as this cool-every-dude, but he's got teeth. and ol' boy bites. Hard. Not so southern charming. After watching him on this show, he's just a big man-child. With a ton of family money. He doesn't have to work, gets mailbox money on the regular, and has no problem asserting his "intelligence" and "superiority" over the peasants.

In a really sh&tty move, the 40-year-old frat boy thought it'd be funny to record video of himself harassing a homeless woman in New York collecting cans. He said:

"Look at me. Nice cans! I mean, the cans you have!"

HA HA HA! Not. That's the funniest joke ever. Get it. Cans? Lame. Then, when the woman covered her face and yelled "No!", he refused to stop.

His fans eviscerated him on social media. But, he cares about no one.

"Omg. I offended you! Ok. Here's the plan, sensitivity training 5 times per week. Then intensive therapy (hot yoga?) followed by a public flogging in the town square. Then i move to Siberia and live in an igloo for 4 months. At this point. I think I'll be cleansed of your disapproval."

He also tweeted that people should simply unfollow him.

I'd say I'm shocked by his lack of compassion, but I'm not. You should be grateful every day that you will never be in that woman's situation. Disgusting. Degrading. Disrespectful. What a crap blower you are!

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Slappable

8/2/2019

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Offenders for the week ending August 2, 2019:

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#3 LUANN de LESSEPS, Real Housewives of New York City Castmember

Despite her multiple trips to rehab and her arrest, her lawsuit from her children, this chick still thinks she's a classy dame.

Ol' girl has been making ends meet with a cabaret show. Mind you, she can't really sing. Like, turtles banging sound better. But, she's riding on the notoriety of her misdeeds and her reality TV show life. So much so that she claimed she was cast in Chicago on Broadway. She said during the recent RHONY reunion:

"I want to tell you all right now, that for someone who can't sing, I just got cast... So, you know, take that and shove it up your ass. How's that?"

Is this language you'd advise us to use in one of your etiquette handbooks? Okay, then. Why don't you shove something up your ass? Like your lies. No Chicago for you, though your people claim there's a scheduling conflict. Nice going, former Count-ass.

#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

So, people still interview her because she's still famous. Sigh. But she was getting deep with some talk show host about women and aging, and how it's so tough for her because people think she's beautiful and now she's getting older. WAAAAH!

Yup. It happens.

"To get wrinkles, like, get closer to menopause, and all these things... what happens to your identity as a woman if you're not f&ckable and beautiful?"

Uh, my answer would be that you could always f*ck yourself...

Oh, and you can take comfort knowing that you're always slappable...

P.S. Don't you have something on that GOOP website of yours that can make you more... coitus-able?

#1 KATHY GRIFFIN

Some people are so repulsive to me, I'd rather have 10 consecutive pap smears than hear their name mentioned ever again. This is how I feel about our #1 offender. I've tried to like her. I've tried to find her funny. I can't.

All she seems to be good at is spewing nastiness and beefin' with whomever she feels like. Her latest victim: Andy Cohen.

"She's made up a lot of stuff about me in the past few years that has just been untrue and sad. I hope she finds some peace."

She's also feuding with Ellen DeGeneres, Perez Hilton, and Harvey Levin. Guess when you're trying to find relevance, you just fight with someone to get out there. Even though she says she's trying to find her peace in life after the Donald Trump photo scandal.

We prefer she find peace on another planet.

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LA LA Land

7/19/2019

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Offenders for the week ending July 19, 2019:

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#3 LIL WAYNE

It must've been the heat that made Lil a little crazy. Cuz ol dude was gonna walk away from the Blink-182 Tour he's co-headlining. Four songs into his set in Virginia, he stopped:

"Hold on. I just want the people to know, if you're wondering, please forgive me, but I am so not used to performing to a crowd. And there's not too many. Like, still, that's not my swag. I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to do this tour, but make some noise for Blink-182 including me anyway. This might be my last night though."

Apparently, he came to his senses. Or his people made him come to his senses. Cuz Lil Wayne is still on the road. Y'all don't need a lawsuit.

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#2 KIM CATTRALL

Put the menopause claws away, sister! We get it. She hates former Sex In The City castmate Sarah Jessica Parker. But do you have to mention it every time someone remotely asks you a question about a reunion or new movie? When asked about the possibility of a third movie:

"Never. It's a no from me. You learn lessons in life and my lesson is to do work with good people and try and make it fun."

We get it. Sarah was allegedly mean to you (?) It's all you talk about, actually. Why give her any juice if it is true?

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#1 HOLLYWOOD

Yes. An entire zone is getting the slap hand.

We understand the desire for diversity. That's why we believe y'all should create original, fresh movies and TV shows. Can we back off the remakes? Can we leave iconic movie characters alone?

Hollywood is patting itself on the back for casting a young, beautiful, African American woman in the new James Bond flick-- and giving her the 007 numbers. See, Bond is coming out of retirement and returning to MI6 and discovers his numbers haven't been retired. The producers of the Bond franchise believe the character needs to grow.

No. He doesn't. I recall women of all colors included in these films in the past. Oh, and they're notlonger calling Bond Girls, Bond Girls. They are women. Fine.

Look. James Bond is historically a womanizing, smack-a-dame-on-the-ass, suave, man-ho, with cool weapons. Keep him that way. Why not make Atomic Blonde a dude then? Oh...

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Zip Yo Lip

6/28/2019

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Offenders for the week ending June 28, 2019:

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#3 TERESA GUIDICE AND DANIELLE STAUB, Real Housewives of New Jersey "stars"

Feuding bitches make for great ratings. Since one of these is completely crazy (Danielle) and the other is possibly cray cray (Teresa), we can't wait to see the next season of this hot-mess franchise. Supposedly these two reignited their feud after a half-decade of peace, and most recently-- near BFF-dom. What started the feud? Who knows.

"By the end of the season, there was a lot of finger pointing between Teresa and Danielle and it led to their falling out."

And allegedly, Teresa's sis-in-law and fellow castmember, Melissa, was stuck in the middle.

The two of these "ladies" should've never been friends in the first place. Teresa has a memory of convenience, and Danielle is delusional. Hey, Teresa. You called her a "prostitution whore" and flipped a table for a reason. But seriously, y'all are too grown to be this grade-schoolish.

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#2 LUANN de LESSEPS

So, the woman busted for drunkenness and assaulting a police officer-- and went to rehab twice is writing another book? Nobody gives a f&ck! Her first book, "Class With the Countess" was quite the humor piece. Oh, wait. She was serious in trying to school us on how to be our best classy selves.

Remember, this is a woman who was so drunk she fell into a row of bushes. This is the same classy dame that used her kids' trust fund money to support her own lifestyle. This is the same woman who has a "singing" career and cabaret show but has zero talent.

I think we'll pass on your latest book/memoir. We don't care to read about how tough life is for you. Or what you've written in your Hello, Kitty diary.

Like you like to say: Money can't buy you class. But could you please buy a one-way ticket to Mars?

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#1 ROSIE O'DONNELL

Why must this angry wind bag continue to open her mouth!?!?

Some dude wrote some book about The View, so that's given Hosey the perfect opp to spew her hate. In a recent interview, Rosie said View member Whoopi Goldberg was "mean" and "worse than Fox News." Also, this:

"(she) was the worst experience I've ever had on live television."

I would think TV in hi-def would be your biggest nightmare, but I digress... then she threw this shade at former View-er Elisabeth Hasselbeck saying that there were:

"underlying lesbian undertones" between them.

Cue the vomiting.

I would hope and pray that if Elisabeth were to take a dip in the lady pool that she would pick someone cooler than Rosie. I imagine Rosie would be like a horrible carnie in a two-sizes-too-small white t-shirt with sweat rings trying to cop a feel from an underage girl.

Perhaps Rosie has the Elisabeth fantasy. Methinks Elisabeth has better standards than Hosehead.

P.S. Don't you need to get back to alienating your children? Thanks.

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Daddy Dickest

6/21/2019

Offenders for the week ending June 21, 2019:

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#3 JIM EDMONDS

The former MLB star and kinda Real Housewives of Orange County cast member made a kind of confession-non-confession about cheating but-not-cheating on his wife, former RHOC star Meghan King Edmonds. This is what she said:

"I called Jimmy and he confessed to me that he had exchanged lewd photos with this woman over the course of several months and a physical relationship never existed. He paid her off to protect me so I'd never find out. Do I believe him? I don't know. Because I don't trust him anymore. Physical or not, he still had an affair and he admits this to me."

The vow-breaker admits to his actions but is vehement that there was nothing physical. So, guess he's not a cheater. Pffft. But he did pseudo-cheat while his wife was preggo. Classy. Keep your rooster to yourself. Nobody wants to see that dried-up jerky.

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#2 OJ SIMPSON

What in the af, dude!?!? He's served prison for one of his lesser crimes, and now that he's been free for a while he's decided to join Twitter. The Juice already has nearly a million followers. His first tweet was a video in which he said:

"I've got a little getting even to do."

Didn't you do that in 1994? Anywho, a parody OJ account screenshot-ed several menacing direct messages from OJ. He isn't pleased about this account that has filleted him about his acquittal in '94. Instead of ignoring the account, he maybe was "getting even" when he allegedly sent a ton of messages with, get this-- a string of 16 knife emojis and the warning:

"I WILL FIND YOUR ASS AND CUT YOU"

But remember, OJ didn't do it. He didn't do anything, but play football, run around airports and star in Police Academy and The Naked Gun.

Back to the golf course to find the real killers!

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#1 BILL COSBY

You remember ol' Billy. The actor/comedian/douchenozzle known as "America's Dad" that drugged and raped women over the decades? Welp, he shared a poignant message for all dads on Father's Day-- from prison:

"Hey, Hey, Hey... It's America's Dad... I know it's late, but to all of the Dads... it's an honor to be called a Father so let's make today a renewed oath to fulfilling our purpose-- strengthening our families and communities."

We have a message for you, Bill:

"Why don't you go play hide-and-go-f&ck yourself?"

Seriously? You. Giving advice!?!? On how to be a proper human being? On how to find just the right roofie mix to knock a woman out? STFU!

And, to make things even more insulting, this delusional dick pop is giving lectures to his felon, uh, fellow, inmates on the topic of:

How to get your lives together once they're free.

He's sharing tips on how to re-bond with your children, leading by example, how to find work, and how to stay clean.

Your transparent good deeds won't keep you from the fires of hell, America's Predator.

I say we teach him our own lesson. Why don't we all gather 'round, throw him on a pile of those ridiculous sweaters he used to wear and beat him with bars of soap...

Box Off

6/14/2019

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Offenders for the week ending June 14, 2019:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Not only is Tristan a no-good, trouser wanderer, but he's the king of double standards. The former flame and baby daddy of Khloe Kardashian allegedly paid his first baby momma more than $100,000 to not date other men-- even though he was already dating Khloe. Jordan Craig said the money was to keep her "on call", and that she used the funds to care for their son and to pay back loans to her mother and sister.

Tristan started cheating with Khloe right after he discovered Jordan was pregnant. Nice.

First of all, please use contraceptives. Second, can we stop living our lives like a Lifetime movie?

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#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

This wenchbag is just looney. She's married to Brad Falchuk, but they don't live together full time. Okay... I understand separate bedrooms for the snoring issue. I understand not living full time together when one person travels a lot for business. But the reason why these two don't live together is because they're a blended family. Brad has decided to keep his home to host his children from his first marriage when it's his week. Because this is a display of true unity and true step-parenting. Not! He has two kids, Gwynie has two. It's just easier to not try.

"I mean, sometimes that piece gets complicated when there are two teenage girls. If you're not all drinking the same Kool-Aid, it can be tough. I do think, though, at the end of the day, everyone wants the same thing, which is to feel love and and be accepted."

And nothing says "I love you" by not living together as a family. Sigh. Blending families is a challenge. But the way to handle that is to work through it.

Why did you even get married?

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#1 JUSTIN BIEBER

Guess the Beebs felt he wasn't getting enough attention in the press, so let's generate some! Well, kudos for continually proving what a toolbag you truly are. For whatever reason, he decided to challenge Tom Cruise to an MMA match, saying the actor isn't that much of a badass like he is in the movies. So, he threw this down on Twitter:

"I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to a fight in the octagon. Tom if you don't take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite?"

For all his blabbing about what a "changed" person he is, he really isn't. He's supposed to have found God and is all zen, and is all married and matured. HA HA HA HA!

Still don't understand why he's picking on Maverick. As for questioning Tom's physical abilities, it's called acting. You know, where you pretend to be a character you're not. It's not like Tom is scaling buildings or fighting with skells. He's playing a role. Plus, this is just silly. What grown man would respond to some manchild's ultimatum? And, why are you messing with the poster boy of Scientology?

They could disappear you.

Wait. That would be a good thing. Please, keep challenging Tom.

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Irrelevant Ignoramus

6/7/2019

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Offenders for the week ending June 7, 2019:

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#3 HAYDEN PANETTIERE

The actress may be violating a protection order against her ex-BF Brian Hickerson. An incident happened last month that left Hayden with redness and marks on her face and made her dizzy. Hickerson is supposed to stay 100-yards away from Hayden and not contact her in any way. But that doesn't mean she's staying away from him.

"There's not one single person out here who isn't concerned about Hayden. What Brian did to Hayden is unacceptable behavior, and it's not to be tolerated."

The two met in 2018 after Hayden split from her fiance in which she has a child with. Look, a protection order is in place for a reason-- to protect! Because of the sensitive nature of your situation, we're just going to yell at you loudly and not "slap" you. WAKE UP! Trauma and drama does not make for a healthy relationship.

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#2 LAMAR ODOM

Messy Lamar has a tell-all book out, and the Kardashians ain't happy about it. Dirt sells, so when you're already dirty-- you may as well heap another pile on! The former baller, but continual d-bag made many a "confession" in his book:

"I had broken my vows with Khloe (Kardashian) so many times it's just impossible for me to remember them all. I don't know why Khloe stayed with me."

Ewww. Rotten weener. But it gets worse. Rectum admits to "forcefully" grabbing Khloe once when she confronted him while he was high:

(excerpt from book) "You trying to embarrass me in front of my friends? I'll f&cking kill you! You don't know what I'm capable of!"

He says that was "the most regrettable moment" of his life.

We regret your memoir. And your existence.

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#1 KELLY BENSIMON, former Cast Member or the Real Housewives of New York

This chick has always been a little cray. Actually, a lot cray. The former model and current entrepreneur not only relished in her oddball behavior when she was on the reality TV show, but she decided that fellow co-star Bethenney Frankel was her arch enemy. For whatever reason. And years, yes, years later-- she's still whipping-up a batch of Hater-aide. During an episode of her podcast, Bensimon made some accusations about Bethenney during the filming of a cast trip.

"She was pregnant the entire time and was having serious issues with her unborn child and she's flying back and forth pretending to film with her dying father in L.A., but really just filming in the car and never saw him. And I'm like, 'You want me to film with a woman that doesn't even care about her kid in her stomach?' She's like, 'Oh, if I have a miscarriage whatever.'"

Really, bitch. The child she's trying to keep away from her crazy, ex-husband? The child she wanted so badly because she thought she was infertile? WTF do you know since you two aren't friends? Get ready for a lawsuit, nut flaps.

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Dippin' in the Delusional Pool

5/31/2019

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Offenders for the week ending May 31st, 2019:

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#3 PORSHA WILLIAMS, Cast Member/Real Housewives of Atlanta

Since social media is a way of life for many people, everything involving one's life is on display because why not? I mean, it makes for great "slap" fodder, so keep airing your dirties for us to see! The reality TV "star" is apparently on the outs with her fiancee/baby daddy Dennis McKinley because she and her entire family have blocked him on the Insta. Why? That's the mystery that we won't lose sleep over. She posted:

"Not gonna worry tonight. God had it LAST time. God has it THIS time."

Oooooh. Cryptic.

It's been no secret that Porsha has trust issues with men, understandably. But she's also been wreaking of desperation wanting a family and a man. A rich man. Which McKinley is. He's known as the Hot Dog King. Perhaps he's a real wiener in real life. Anywho, don't get angry at people knowing your business if you put your business for the world to see. Duh!

P.S. Guess the biggest insult one can dole out is to block or unfollow someone. Waaaah!

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#2 SONJA MORGAN, Cast Member/Real Housewives of New York

Not that fall-down-stupid-drunk ever looks good, but there's a certain time in one's life when it looks absolutely hideous. That's your cue, Sonja! On the most recent episode of the reality TV show, Ms. High Class, got low-down drunk. Oh, her castmates had to call an ambulance because it was that bad. Said fellow castmate Ramona Singer:

"I don't know what Sonja's been drinking, but it's obviously too much. It's not a good look. It's not a good look at all."

So what set Sloppy Sonja off? The revelation that one of her previous bed buddies is bedding one of her friends. As if this is shocking? You women share boyfriends like friendship beads. Why the concern now?

While this may make for "great" reality TV, it's not so great for the woman who carries the JP Morgan name. Oh, and you're somebody's momma. Great example.

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#1 LORI LOUGHLIN

Aunt Becky is dense. Totally dense. She really thinks she's innocent in this whole college admissions scandal. BWAAAA HAAA HAAAA HAAAA! And, she doesn't think she'll be found guilty. Prosecutors allege that Lori and her hubby paid $500,000 to admissions consultant William "Rick" Singer and his non profit organization to have their daughters Olivia and Isabella designated as recruits to the USC crew team. (These two wenches probably think crew team involves "crew neck" tops.) Anywho, the spoiled brats were never on the team. But needless to say, Lori is fighting her "good fight":

"She's an active participant in her own defense, feels like she's got a valid defense, and when the evidence comes out, she won't be found guilty."

And what valid defense is that? There isn't one. Ignorance isn't a defense. But we're not even buying that. You knew exactly what you were doing.

Maybe she really thinks life is like one of those Hallmark movies she's starred in. Or, because she's uber wealthy her life really is one... until now.

P.S. I've never prayed harder for someone to be found guilty.

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Jade-Ed

5/24/2019

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Offenders for the week ending May 24, 2019:

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#3 WENDY WILLIAMS' SOON-TO-BE-EX KEVIN HUNTER

Divorce can be a messy business. But don't involve the children. No matter what their age may be. Kevin and his son with Wendy, Kevin Jr, went to a store close to their home to pick some things up. Cool. What wasn't cool is that the man and his 18-year-old son got into a physical altercation in the parking lot. But, daddy won't be pressing charges.

"I love my son very much and I will not be pursuing this matter legally. Things are not how they appear."

What appearance is that? That you're trying to influence your son to turn on his mother by saying she's a brainwasher? Not cool. The kid is grown and able to make a judgement call on his own. Perhaps he's not cool with you cheating on his mom and fathering a love child. Ouch.

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#2 ELLE FANNING

We get it. When you've got to look on-point, you do what's necessary. Hello, Spanx! But this is taking it too far. Elle fainted during a dinner at the Cannes Film Festival. Why? Because girlfriend's vintage Prada dress was too tight.

"Oops, had a fainting spell tonight in my 1950's Prada prom dress but it's all good!"

She says she was bloated because Aunt Flo was in town. We feel ya. We gain five temporary pounds every month. It sucks. But so does squeezing yourself into a dress that's going to cut off your circulation, dumbass. There aren't any vintage pant suits?

Here's a thought-- wear something else!

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#1 OLIVIA JADE

This spoiled, bratty, unappreciated little bitch is now all whiny and crying and wanting to go back to college. The same college that her parents (actress Lori Loughlin and fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli) cheated and lied to get her into. The same college that she previously didn't care about going to.

"She didn't get officially kicked out and she is begging the school to let her back in. She knows they (USC) won't let her in, so she's hoping this info gets out. She wants to come out looking like she's changed, learned life lessons and is growing as a person, so she for sure wants people to think she is interested in her education."

That's laughable. Born-privileged people who are douchebags never change their douchebag ways. Because they don't have to. The same chick that doesn't have the goods to get into school has no need for school, not when you're a "social media influencer" making stupid amounts of money. The life lesson? Don't get caught. This is the same 'gina wad that wouldn't talk to her mom because she "ruined my life!"

Here's a lesson for you: shut your legs, open your mind, zip yo lip and f&ck off. Capisce?

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Twit Epidemic

Wilted Rose

Slappable

LA LA Land

Zip Yo Lip

Daddy Dickest

Box Off

Irrelevant Ignoramus

Dippin' in the Delusional Pool

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