"I'm feeling good, I'm feeling nervous, overwhelmed-- everything! Butterflies in my stomach... and vagina!"
Did she mean she was wearing a pair of those butterfly panties with the remote? Are larvae living up in that pink taco?
Y'all better call Terminix, cuz penicillin won't be enough for an infestation.
P.S. You've *almost* ruined butterflies for me...
Just. Stop. Your "shocking" shtick is about as tired as your over-dyed hair. Yawn.
I'm not an ageist, and I know you're proud of your body but it's like: "Oh, tapioca pudding. Again." Please. The only buttons you're pushing at this point are Life Alert.
Can't you just shock us with a picture of yourself in a potato sack? Sigh.
P.S. You've ruined raisins for me forever...
Yup. It's just a 26-year age difference. It doesn't matter, because he is head over heels in L-O-V-E!
"She's a gift. She's my best friend. She's one of a kind."
Kelsi Taylor is The Dame to The Dane. I get it. You have a lot in common. You sit on the couch and watch VHS tapes of your favorite movies that you rented at Blockbuster on your Curtis Mathis console TV while she's chatting on the her rotary phone with her friends about Luke and Laura's wedding on General Hospital.... No?
At least she's helping him through his midlife re-evaluation. So who is Kelsi Taylor?
"She's a talented singer, but more importantly she's a genuine person. Check out her music to get to know her. She's gonna go far!"
DING DING DING!
It's true love... of your still-breathing name recognition.
Oh, Dane. Your next project should be called: "Dumb F*ck Chuck".
P.S. You're ruined schmaltz for me...