Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior - Haus of V

Skeevy, Skanky & Stupid

9/18/2020

Offenders for the week ending 09/18/20:

#3 MICHAEL DARBY, Cast Member/Real Housewives of Potomac

His wife, Ashley, is a main cast member of this show. Which means their lives are on display for us to peep on. Which means that if you're trying to keep your shady sihzz on the DL, you really can't. Because you're known and people are coming for you. Which means if you're gonna have a wild night at a strip club while your wife is away with your infant son, you best keep your kinks in your pants.

The Aussie fossil and his way younger wife were the hot topic last season, as Michael was accused of wanting to play another man's skin flute, and he was charged with grabbing a male cameraman's booty. Maybe it's an Australian thing, but methinks he wants the pouch and the joey all at the same time.

No one cares how you live your life. But if you're lying to your wife and lying to yourself, well-- BYE. Do better at keeping your down under activities down under...

#2 LINDSAY LOHAN

There's a simple premise in business: You get paid to perform a service; you're expected to complete that service. Lindsay doesn't understand this very basic concept. See, HarperCollins gave LiLo a $365 thousand advance back in 2014 to write her memoir about her troubled life. Then, she got into trouble for not producing a final product after a year had passed. So, being kind and wanting some delish tea-- they extended the contract by two years.

Crickets.

The contract was terminated in 2018. But that didn't mean she could keep the money for nothing. Duh! Lindsay was asked to pay the advance back, which didn't happen. And now it's 2020 and she's got a court date in the future. Time to get a rich boyfriend to pay this for you. Is Jon Peters available? If he married Pamela Anderson for, like, a hot minute and paid off her debt, well...

#1 JON GOSSELIN

Again, you're an embarrassment to your gender, to Koreans, and to humanity in general. Add alleged abuser to his list of douchebaggery. County of Berks, Pennsylvania Child & Youth Services has opened an investigation into an alleged violent incident between Jon and his 16-year-old son Collin:

"causing bodily injury to a child through recent act/failure to act: hitting/punching."

This is consistent with a post from Collin on his IG alleging his dad "beat him":

"My dad is a liar. Yesterday he beat me up and thought nothing of it, he punched me in the face and gave me a swollen nose and I started bleeding. He then continued to kick me in the ribs after I was on the floor. He is a liar."

A source says the incident happened after Collin became upset while talking to Jon in the car.

"Collin got furious and was screaming and swearing. When they got home, he was still screaming and cursing and he went into the garage and got... a big heavy bottle of liquid-- and hurled it at Jon's car, denting it. Jon got out of the car, enraged, and put him in a headlock, punched him square in the nose, and when Collin fell to the ground, then he kicked him in the ribs."

It's been publicized in the past that Collin has behavioral issues, and chose to live with Jon instead of momma Kate. I'm sure the truth of what happened is somewhere in the middle. And granted, if I had hurled something at my dad-- he would've knocked me into next week. But, there's a difference between discipline, restraining someone before you should call the authorities, and beating the stuff out of someone-- especially your minor child.

Perhaps your focus should be on fatherhood and earning money to support your 8 kids, instead of trying to live some fantasy life as a club DJ. A club DJ in small-town PA, no less.

Sigh...

The Wang That Got Away

9/11/2020

Offenders for the week ending September 11, 2020:

#3 NAOMI CAMPBELL

Gifts are one thing. Loans are something different. So, when someone lends you money, you need to pay it back. But Mizz Brokedown Diva doesn't embrace that concept. People want their money back. Even ex-lovers. Billionaire businessman Vladislav Doronin has filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Naomi because she refuses to pay back money he loaned her. And... she still has some of his stuff that's worth more than $3 million.

Side note: What does she have of his that's worth this much? A Golden toothbrush? Chinchilla slippers? A rando yacht?

I'm sure she's gonna plead ignorance, since he lavished her with gifts and trips during their 5-year relationship. She reportedly dumped him because he was too caught up in her celebrity life. Surrreeee....Maybe the gift you gave him something itchy on his hang-low.

#2 JANE FONDA

It's great if you're still enjoying the baloney pony well into your twilight years. But... we don't need to hear about it. Or follow you down memory lane as you revisit your times in Schlongsville. Yeah, that means you, Jane Fonda. During an interview with The New York Times, she denied that Argentine revolutionary Che Guevara was "the one that got away" sexually. Gag. Her actual deepest regret?

Marvin Gaye

You know, Mr. Sexual Healing. She said:

"He wanted to and I didn't."

Because she was married at the time. Kudos for having somewhat of a moral compass, though I'll never forgive you protesting our soldiers who fought in Vietnam. Bitch. Anwyho... this final crusty nugget:

Nobody wants to even imagine your DAP (Dusty Ass P&ssy). Bye!

#1 JUAN PABLO, former The Bachelor bachelor

Never having watched his season, but hearing all about him-- I completely understand why he's considered the franchise's biggest villain. He's the entire bag of small, sweaty dicks. He had to take to social media to slam the promo for Clare Crawley's season of The Bachelorette because it features footage from his season. The season in which Clare sprouted a pair and put this douchebag back in the Summer's Eve box.

"Interesting PROMO of @Clare_Crawley and the season of@BacheloretteABC, 6 years LATER and I know WHO is the Juan that can't get OVER Juan...Would LOVE if you take a GUESS? P.S: Clare got over LONG time ago, just in CASE."

WTF is this tweet with all the rando ALL CAPS!?!?!?

Lemme translate: Juan Pricko thinks Clare is still in love with him. BWAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA! She told you to sit down after you told her that you didn't love her, but loved "f&cking her". So, she walked away from the show as one of the finalists because you're a dirty Juan.

Mic drop.

Snatch Drunk

9/4/2020

Offenders for the week ending September 4, 2020:

#3 MARIAH CAREY

Mariah is flapping her lips while on the press circuit to promote her soon-to-be-released memoir, "The Meaning of Mariah Carey". She was asked by a reporter to comment on rumors that former bed-buddy Eminem was stressed about the book. She responded:

"If somebody or something didn't pertain to the actual meaning of Mariah Carey, as is the title, then they aren't in the book."

Burrrrrrn...

So... guess he's not mentioned. Which sucks. Because these two have had beef for 19 years. Nineteen years!!! WTF happened between the two of you!?!? GAH!

If the title was: "The Moaning of Mariah Carey", would you then dish?

#2 ANGELINA JOLIE

How long does it take to get divorced? Don't ask Angie. She's been dragging out her maybe-divorce from Brad Pitt since 2016! You could've gotten remarried and divorced at least three times in that span. Well, there's a reason why she can't let go:

It could harm the children.

Uhmmm, sure it can. But a messy divorce is a better alternative? Pffft. The real reason this is taking so long?:

"This is a game she's playing. She still has the kids for more of the time than he does, and she's trying to maintain that as long as possible...(and she has) love-hate feelings for Brad."

That's healthy.

Angie's team denies the aforementioned allegation. Methinks there's some truth to that. But it seems your boy Brad has moved on. Speaking of...

#1 BRAD PITT

Why slap Brad? Cuz his woman-picker is off. Again. Glad he's trying to free himself from the grips of that Venus Flysnatch, Angie. But now he's falling into the poontrap of a 27-year-old model named Nicole Poturalski-- who bears a resemblance to his whenever-she-becomes-his-ex-wife-number-two. It has nothing to do with the age difference. It has everything to do with the fact that she's married.

Yup.

His new lady love is married to German restaurateur, 68-year-old Roland Mary. They've been entangled for eight years and have a 7-year-old son. But it's all good, because Roland is all down with her being a seed dumpster. Because they have an "open relationship."

Uh-huh.

Oh, Brad. Try to keep it classy. Sure, it may seem like a sweet deal-- an all-you-can-eat 24/7 buffet that you don't have to bank roll, but... ewwwww.

You should've stayed with Jennifer, dumbass.

Nirwaaaahna

8/21/2020

Offenders for the week ending August 21, 2020:

#3 LALA KENT, Cast Member/Vanderpump Rules

I guess her wedding to Randall Emmett is back on, because this reality TV "star" slammed designer Michael Costello for not making her wedding dress because she's not a "big enough" celebrity. Well... do reality TV "stars" really count as "celebrities"? Anywho, she was trolling Kylie Jenner's Insta and saw that Costello was displeased that Kylie doesn't tag designers unless she's getting paid. LaLa then decided to add her two hooker-y cents into the sitch with this:

"What a clown. This dude. I literally blew him up to make my custom wedding dress-he would have gotten all the 'tags & @'s' he's talking about. But I never heard back from him... why? Because I'm not 'big enough.' So cool out, Costello-you do the same s--t."

Yeah. You're not Kylie. #truth

And you didn't follow through with any appointments with Costello, and you wanted your dress for free... but you're not Kylie, so... open your legs and get that free dress!

Did I mention you're not Kylie?

#2 ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL

Calm it down, Geek. The former '80s star and still-sometimes-actor went-off on some guests at a hotel swimming pool. And it's all caught on video! Dude went down to the pool with his wife and his assistant, portable boombox in hand, and a jug of... something. Hall was gettin' his groove on with loud tunes and swearing in front of the other pool guests-- which included children. When one mom dared to ask him to tone it down... well... the tirade began. Yelling. Cursing. M-F-ing. Calling the victim in question Rosie O'Donnell (that might be the biggest insult of them all!).

But he's sorry:

"As a result of a misunderstanding and miscommunication between myself and some hotel guests, the situation needlessly and regrettably escalated. I am deeply sorry for my words and actions and ask for forgiveness from anyone who I may have offended."

Misunderstanding? You were a total d*ck. Like, the sweatiest, warted, unclean "d" of all time.

I always said the dude's on steroids. He went from scrawny to muscle-bound, and apparently that affected his scrawny brain. Remember, he faced prison time in 2016 for allegedly assaulting one of his neighbors.

Please. Return to obscurity.

#1 FRANCES BEAN COBAIN

How fast can you spend $11 million? Ask the late Kurt Cobain's baby girl! At the age of 28, she's broke. Why? Because she managed to burn through a $100-thousand per month allowance.

Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

Franny says she has a healthier relationship with money now. She said she had felt guilt and a disconnect having all this money from someone she didn't know (Kurt died when she was 2) and didn't earn. Waaaaa! Some rando could leave me $11 million and I'd have no problem finding a connection with it. Period. But nice excuse. You couldn't find an accountant to soften the harsh blow of your dead daddy's money?

But she's lived and learned:

"Like, it's not necessary to have UberXX or whatever it is every single time you are going five minutes away. Get the Uber economy if you are going ten minutes away, it's okay, it's alright."

Or... walk. Or... get your own damn car.

But she has people in place, now, to handle her money.

Why do asshats who have no appreciation for money end up with a sh*t ton, only to blow it on blow and booze? I can't even imagine a salary of $100 thousand a year, yet alone that sum per month! Ima ready to kick her muffin straight up and out of the place where her brain should be.

Jaded

8/13/2020

Offenders for the week ending August 14th, 2020:

#3 OLIVIA JADE

What's that sound? It's the sound of a privileged brat stewing in silence at her dumbass rich mommy. Her relationship with Lori Loughlin is still on the mend after that whole Operation Varsity Blues Scandal. What is O. J. exactly upset about? That Mommy Mensa-less got caught? Or that her mom believes both her daughters are so moronic that she had to bribe someone to get them into college? Or that it's known she's equally not gifted in the brains department. But things aren't all bad. Olivia is really:

"... proud of her mom for pleading guilty... to face the consequences for (their) actions."

Awesome. And poor Olivia is taking one day at a time:

"Olivia Jade is now trying to move forward with her career as an influencer and YouTube star but knows that for a while she might face some struggle."

Girl, you have no idea what struggle is.

What's that sound? It's the sound of us real people not giving a f&ck about you.

#Uninfluenced

#2 JUSTIN HARTLEY

Break ups can be nasty. But they can be classy-- if you choose so.

Apparently, Justin (of "This is Us" fame) took the low road well traveled, and a storyline that sounds like something his character Kevin would've pulled. He decided his marriage of two years was over, so he filed for divorce. Then he told his wife, Chrishell Stause, that he filed the paperwork- via text message.

WTF!?!?

I get that we're all "face in phone" living. But you could've done the one-up-not-as-low-class thing and called her on the phone. Apparently, the two had been struggling-- but no one knows the reason behind the split. Regardless, still lowdown low.

Maybe she'll send you a box of dicks as a response...

#1 TYRESE

On Fat Joe's podcast, Tyrese gave R Kelly kudos for staying relevant and reinventing himself through the years, even though R has " a lot of controversy and heat on him." By "controversy" and "heat", do you mean pedophilia?

Seriously.

Fat Joe questioned whether it was cool to bring up the good points as R Creepy awaits trial on multiple sex charges. Of course it's cool in the Tyreseverse.

"If I were to find out, what everyone is into, we probably wouldn't be a fan of anybody. When you have drug problems, you are alcoholic, or you got vices that may be inappropriate or whatever the case may be, you're just trying your best to do whatever it is that you're doing hoping people don't find out about it."

There's a big difference between drugs and booze and raping and degrading children. Yeah. Praising a known POS for the way he's dodged the law, basically, and manages to still have fans is not the way to live. Perhaps you need to keep an eye on your kids and women, lest some other famous person with some kind of "vice" is coming for yours.

By the by, what the hell are you into? Since everyone is into something...

Singer Away

8/7/2020

Offenders for the week ending August 7th, 2020:

#3 RAMONA SINGER, Castmember/Real Housewives of New York

Just because a person says they're sorry doesn't mean they truly are. In fact, 99% of celeb and pseudo-celeb apologies are just as useless as they are. Case in point: this self-important, insecure, this close to Medicare hag is threatened by younger females-- especially those that have the world by the fun marbles-- so, she goes into destroy mode. How classy. Her latest target? Fellow castmember Leah McSweeney, who's 30-something, fit and fine, and unapologetic for who she is as person. And that is threatening!

In an effort to destroy Leah, Bitchmoana threw some shade about mental health and meds:

"I found out she's bipolar and she's on medication and I know people who are bipolar and you cannot mix alcohol with meds, it makes you act not responsible. It's actually very dangerous."

Thanks, Doctor of (?) Bullsh*t?

But she's sorry now:

"It was never my intention to shame Leah about her mental health issues. I understand it's her story to tell. Takes a lot of courage & strength for her to go public in an article about her struggles, which I admire. I only wish her well & want to help support her in the right way."

Well, at least it wasn't the standard "Thoughts and prayers" disingenuous crap. But please. You meant to humiliate her. The best thing you can do is retire... from life.

#2 MEGAN FOX

Love is grand, and apparently has no taste. Megs is legs-over-head in love with Machine Gun Kelly. He's not the rebound guy from her soon-to-be divorce from Brian Austin Green. He's the real deal. If the Insta says they are, they are!

Meg posted a picture of herself with MGK, wearing towels from the waist down, with the sweet caption:

"Achingly Beautiful Boy... My heart is yours."

Is your heart lodged in your jayjay? Or is it that you seem to have the habit of dating a few rungs lower so that you're worshiped by "lesser" men. Hmm... I like my theory here.

Are you gonna go by Mrs. Machine Gun or Mrs. Kelly?

P.S. Props to your soon-to-be ex posting a picture of his 4 sons (3 of which he had with you) with the caption: "Achingly beautiful boys. My heart is yours." Clap.Back.

#1 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

No. Just. No.

There are a million wangs in the sea to choose from, and she just can't quit baby daddy Tristan Thompson. Because they're a couple again!

"They are very much together. Khloe is beyond happy. She loves having Tristan around. He has the best relationship with their daughter True."

Awesome. He needs to be a good father. But he makes for a terrible partner. Because the only partnership he's capable of is whichever poon direction his pecker points. There's going to be a time when lockdowns and NBA bubbles don't exist. which means his "small forward" will be ready to drive down the middle. You most likely will be heartbroken, again.

There's love. And then there's complete foolishness. Wake yo fool self up and find another snake to charm!

Yellow Power

7/31/2020

Offenders for the week ending July 31, 2020:

#3 THOMAS MARKLE

Oh, Thomas. You were *this* close to starting that process of reconciliation with your little girl, Meghan. But since you can't learn your lesson, you're probs going to get the freeze out. Again. Daddy of The Year most likely needed some cash money, so he turned to his favorite ATM-- the media. He recently told "The Sun" that his little girl and her hubs, the dude formerly known as Prince Harry, should stop whining:

"This is the worst time in the world for them to be whining and complaining about anything-- because people everywhere are suffering due to the coronavirus pandemic. I love my daughter, but I really don't appreciate what she's become right now."

Sigh.

Yes. A whole sh&tstorm is swirling. And yes, privileged folk should be the last to boo-hoo. But... ever hear of a phone? That's the device you can use to convey a message to a certain party without being messy. But messy is your middle name, so...

#2 SMASH MOUTH

So, Taylor Swift sold 1.3 million copies of her latest record in 24 hours. Not surprising. The Tay Tay spell is forever floating amongst the masses, mesmerizing them into action. It's just the way it is. But Smash Mouth has taken exception to Tay's "Folklore" album, calling it:

"borelore"

Okay. Smash, who? Oh, that band from the early 1990s that had one hit song in a kid's movie: "All Star". Which you're not. Whether you like Taylor or not, she's a star. An all-ways star. Get it.

Uhmmm, your Tamagotchi is needing you, Mr. Mouth. And isn't your break over at the Quik Lube?

#1 JEPH LOEB, former head honcho of Marvel Television

This guy isn't a celeb. But he's still a Hollywood set of d*ck lips. Daredevil star Peter Shinkoda claims his storyline was cut, along with another Asian actor because:

"Nobody gives a sh*t about Asian people."

That's probably true. Nobody thinks about us because while everybody is fighting each other, we shades of yellow are taking care of business. We hustle. We make our own way. We expect nothing from anyone and we kick ass with our work ethic. So, nobody may "give a shit" about Asians, but the next time you need your laundry washed or some yummy dim sum, or somebody to teach your lame ass that 1 + 1 = 2, you'll be looking for us Asians. And we'll help you out, because we know you're just an ignorant slut.

Congrats. You've gone and awoken my inner Angry Asian. And the half of me that is Asian has enough anger to kick your fossilized crotch up and out your nose.

You are precisely what's wrong with this country.

Catch me outside, bitch boy.

Ruding & Feuding

7/24/2020

Offenders for the week ending : July 24, 2020:

#3 MICKEY ROURKE

This dude has always been odd. Excellent actor, but a touch (a lot) Looney Tunes-y. For whatever reason, he decided to re-ignite his feud with Robert DeNiro. Guess these two hated each other ever since they worked with each other on the film "Angel Heart" in 1987.

In a now "disappeared" post on the Insta, Mickster shared a pic of a young Bobby wearing a red jacket and smoking a cigarette-- with this heartfelt caption:

"Big (freaking) crybaby. Mr. Tough Guy in the movies. Let me tell you something, you punk ass, when I see you I swear to God on my Grandmother, on my brother and all my dogs, (I'm) gonna embarrass you severely 100 percent..."

?

Mmmmkay. I'm sure DoucheNiro doesn't care about you. In fact, y'all sound like two old dudes that need a nap and some antacid and some Tucks, and tapioca pudding to make everything feel better...

The only cool thing about this, is that your beef has extended into two centuries... Kudos.

#2 50 CENT

Sometimes the support really isn't the offering of support. It's really just a way to get your foot in the door for some tea spillin'. Methinks this is the case when 50 DM-ed Will Smith to "check in" on him after Will and wife Jada Pinkett Smith aired their dirties about her "entanglement" with August Alsina for all the world to partake. ICYMI, August and Jada "entangled" for a few years while she and Will were on a marriage break. Dude claims Will gave him permission to smash. Now back to Half-Dollar, who had to make the DM exchange all public to try and play the victim of Will's venom, because things got ugly during the exchange. What set Will off? This:

"She (Jada) said only SHE can give permission for somebody to blow her back out."

Which received a "F*ck you 50" from Will.

What did you expect? You're known for being quite the Richard, throwing your hat into situations that have nothing to do with you. We see you, Fiddy. We. See. You. You've got no room to talk or question. You spent time in Chelsea Handler's Holland Tunnel, so...

#1 ELLEN DEGENERES

Don't you hate it when something ends up being too good to be true? Or if someone appears so cool and perfect, but you have that gut feeling that said person is probably a POS? It appears all the rumors of Ellen being a big meany are true. Like, she's one nasty b. Crushing. Should've known mizz queen of "Be Kind" is just projecting a virtue she herself does not possess.

Story after story has emerged of her mistreatment of staff. Current and former staffers are laying it all out there:

Staffers faced racism. fear and intimidation
Employees were fired after taking medical leave or bereavement leave
You're not allowed to speak to Ellen around the office

And this from writer Ben Simeon:

"Every day she picks someone different to really hate. It's not your fault, just suck it up for the day and she'll be mean to someone else the next day."

And that's just a taste of the vinegar popsicle being fed around there. Staffers also have a bone to pick with Ellen's executive producers who are aware of the repulsive behavior, but allow it to continue.

Why don't you be nice to us, Ellen, by sticking your head up your own ass and disappearing. It's the kindest thing you can do.

Do Not Pass Go

6/26/2020

Offenders for the week ending June 26, 2020:

#3 JIM EDMONDS

The former pro baseballer/reality TV husband of Meghan King Edmonds (formerly of Real Housewives of Orange County) paid a pre-pube-boner-long-j*zzy tribute to his new GF on the Insta. We'll summarize:

"I was in such a dark place, going through hell ending a loveless and abusive relationship. The lies and accusations that followed the break up... Along came this beautiful woman by chance."

Pffft. By chance...Wake up, Jimmy. That "chance" is because your wallet still "works". Which is why as you get older, your wives get progressively younger...

This guy is a delusional, arrogant POS. Loveless marriage? From the guy on camera yelling and badgering his now ex-wife. This from the guy who wasn't there for her as she underwent her IVF treatment. Literally was not in town. This from the guy that allegedly banged the nanny (he just had "thoughts"). This from the guy sexting other women while married... So happy you found your fourth victim, er, ex-wife-to-be.

(The above gif is not Jimmy. But it is an accurate sentiment...)

#2 CAMILLE COSBY

Stand blindly by you man, right? For the first time in 6-years, Bill Cosby's wife is talking. She's so pleased the Pennsylvania Supreme Court has agreed to review two aspects of Rape-y's case. But that's not all. She took her moment in the sun to call the #MeTooMovement racist.

?

She said that movement has:

"intentional ignorance pertaining to the history of particular white women-- not all white women-- but particular white women, who have from the very beginning, pertaining to the enslavement of African people, accused black males of sexual assault without any proof whatsoever, no proof, anywhere on the face of the Earth."

It's viewpoints like this that don't help the cause. And WTF is she talking about "particular white women". Ones with blue eyes? Ones that live in the 'burbs? White wives of plantation owners? Some of the biggest offenders in #MeToo have been middle-aged white men. Attacking women. So...

Look, asshat. Your husband is a rapist. He admitted such in his civil lawsuit. He admitted to giving drugs to women in order to have sex with them without their consent. That's rape. Proven.

(The above gif is not Mrs. Asshat. It's Mr. Asshat.)

#1 MYKA STAUFFER

This horrendous pile of human excrement is finally apologizing for "re-homing" the son she adopted. The son with autism from China that she and her husband and four other kids adopted when the child was two. Oh, Huxley was four when they booted him last month. That means he probs will remember this family and that he was "returned". But Myka the-rich-bitch-assh&le-YouTube-"star" is, like, really sorry.

"This decision has caused so many people heart break and I'm sorry for letting down so many women that looked up to me as a mother... I could have never anticipated the incidents which occurred on a private level to ever have happened, and I was trying my best to navigate the hardest thing I have ever been through... I apologize for being so naive when I started the adoption process, I was not selective or fully equipped or prepared..."

She then rambles about how she only received a day of training and didn't know enough, and blah, blah, blah. You didn't know this child had special needs. Please. But, bright spot!

"... I can't say I wish this never happened because I'm still so glad Huxley is here and getting all the help he needs. I also know that even though he is happier in his new home and doing better that he still experienced trauma... no adoptee deserves more trauma..."

She later tried to say that Huxley-- the 4-year-old boy-- asked to be "re-homed". Un-effing-believable. I'm calling bullsh*t on that. Completely.

You're sorry now? Right. It's 'cuz you lost all that endorsement money. I guess how we're really feeling about you is: F&CK YOU!

P.S. Do us all a favor and just go straight to Hell right now.

(The above gif is not this b*tch. It's a steamy pile. Which she is...)

Catfished

6/19/2020

Offenders for the week ending June 19, 2020:

#3 KYLIE JENNER

Who cares how you spend your money? We wouldn't care, unless you go public and bitch and moan about your piles of money not being piled high enough. Kylie lost her Youngest Billionaire status (or some title like that) from Forbes magazine when "the receipts" showed that she was only worth $900 million. She was so bummed.

If you want to keep such status, perhaps you shouldn't purchase your own private jet. Your own private pink jet and name it Kylie Air. Because private jets are really expensive to maintain. Suck it up and fly first class like lesser celebs.

#2 DINA LOHAN

We see where Lindsay inherited her dumbness. From you. Dina is engaged again to Jesse Nadler-- you know, her online boyfriend. The toxic twins have been on-again, off-again, and now betrothed. That is, after they both sobered up in April and decided it was true love?

Oh, we forgot to mention that Dina still has never seen Jesse in person. Ever.

Catfish anyone?

Thank goodness you can't reproduce anymore..

#1 MAMA JUNE

This is why we don't make "stars" out of rednecks. Real rednecky rednecks. Because they can't help but be true to their redneck tendencies, no matter how many fab opportunities are placed at their feet! Mama June has suckled off the teet of three reality shows and made a disgusting amount of cash- which she has not spent wisely.

She admitted to one of her daughters in a recent episode of her reality show that she spends $2,500 per day on her drug habit.

That's $17,500 a week; $70,000 a month; $840,000 a year.

WTF!?!?! Many people don't even make $70,000 a year, yet alone have $70,000 to blow (pun intended). This is why we don't make tw%t skanks famous.

Remember. This is the same ho rag that dated a known pedophile and kept dating him even after he molested one of her daughters.