Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Dingbats & A Douch*bag

2/15/2019

Offenders for the week ending February 15, 2019:

#3 CARDI B

It's probably time to make you a Lifetime Member of the slap list, because I think you've made it three out of the past four times. She's just so airhead-ish. She's made the list several times, for saying she had butterflies in her vajayjay (uh, that's 'stomach'). to sharing her cravings for her cheating man's 'sausage', and now... thanking Tom Petty for sending her flowers after her Grammy win.

Wait. He died in 2017. Or did he?

"Thank you Tom Petty for the flowers. I left the room but the flowers were very big. I want to say thank you so much... and the beautiful note."

The note with her flowers read:

"You've got a big heart. so big it could crush this town."

Those are lyrics from the song "Walls (Circus)".

Oops. First of all, again-- he's passed. Second, I'm not sure Cardi even knows who Tom Petty is/was.

Thanks for the laughs, girl. Just keep eating that leather.

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#2 DINA LOHAN

Back in the day-- and in some cases, today-- people got married to each other via arrangement. No courting. No Tinder. No preview-the-package. Just cross your fingers and hope it would all work out. In the modern era, we usually court. Date. Bang. Whatever. This mother of Lindsay has been dating a man for five years. A man she has never met. What the AF?!? She hasn't even FaceTimed him. The Celebrity Big Brother cast member told fellow houseguests:

"I can't wait to tell you about this guy. I've been talking to him for five years... You know when you talk to someone on the phone, like you feel like you know them?"

Uh-huh. Dingbat claims he's real and the reason why they haven't met is because he cannot leave San Francisco to visit her in New York. Because he's taking care of his mother.

"I swear to you he's real. I swear, it's crazy. But i'm going to marry him. It's really, really true. I talk to his mom!"

Okay. So you can't go visit him?

We smell a Catfish here. Or, she's just delusional. Maybe a little from column A and B! If you haven't seen a "picture" of "him" and he "doesn't have an iPhone" so you can't FaceTime, yeah... true love!

I think it's safe to call this chick 50 Shades of Dumb.

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#1 DRAKE

Beefin' with Kanye. Talkin' smack about everyone. And now spittin' in the face of the Grammys. Dude took home some hardware last weekend. And as most celebs, turned his speech into a bunch of self-righteous drivel:

"It's like the first time in Grammys history where I actually am who I thought I was for a second, so I like that. I definitely did not think I was winning anything... I want to let you know we play in an opinion-based sport, not a factual-based sport. It is not the NBA, where at the end of the year you're holding a trophy because you made the right decisions or won the games."

Then he was accidentally cut off. Because he had rambled and then paused. Oh, well. In previous years, Drake has bitched about his lack of acceptance by the Grammys:

"If I ever feel like an outsider, it's usually because I'm not American... I guess maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have quite an eclectic makeup. I am mixed, I am Jewish... at the end of the day, when it comes to everything else, I'm black."

F&ck off. This country is comprised of all kinds of people. And I'm so tired of the race card. Guess what? You don't see any Asians being made famous in movies, TV or music? Guess "yellow" ain't the right color? Where's the equality? Go cry on your millions of dollars and multiple trophies about how friggin' unfair life is. Most of all, just zip your pouty lip and maybe go back to Canada!

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Sprung a Leak(es)

2/8/2019

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Offenders for the week ending February 8, 2019:

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#3 BOW WOW

You've heard that saying: "Mess with the bull, you get the horns". Perhaps that's what happened to the former child star/rapper/now grown-up-actor now known by his birth name of Shad Moss. Dude was arrested for allegedly assaulting a woman last weekend. The alleged victim and Mr. Moss-Wow sustained minor visible injuries.

"Officers were unable to determine the primary aggressor of the altercation, so both parties were charged with battery."

What is it with rappers brawling with anyone they can? Next time, just run if you can. Also, I'd go back to using "Bow Wow". Because "Shad" is too close to "shat". Unless this is the direction you're going now.

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#2 KENDALL JENNER

Widdle Kendall has admitted that she's "cried endlessly for days" over social media comments. But she's learning to get over it...

"I mean, don't get me wrong: I definitely feel, and the things people say online are very hurtful. You also just have to live your life and not pay attention to it."

Yes. Don't pay attention to the B.S. But seriously. No sympathy here. When you decided to chase the fame monster, you subconsciously agreed to to everything that comes along with it. Good and bad. But regardless, always remember that you have f*ck you money, So who cares what people think? You can buy all the ass-kissing friends you want!

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#1 NENE LEAKES, Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast Member

Loud-mouthed. Over-the-top. Pretentious. Some of the nicer words to describe Ms. Leakes. Foolish might be another one. How dare she come for the reality TV show queen, Lisa Vanderpump? Oh, no she didn't! NeNe has her Gucci panties wadded in her coochie over an alleged theft by LVP. She claims she had an idea for a restaurant in West Hollywood, called Lisa up to ask for her advice, and Lisa said it would be a bad investment. Lisa co-owns several successful restaurants in Cali, and is set to open one in Vegas.

Anywho, after shooing NeNe away-- Lisa allegedly bought the same property and opened Pump restaurant there. NeNe is not happy:

"She did some real foul sh*t to me... We're gonna get Lisa Vanderpump."

What do you mean by this exactly? You're going to sue her? For what? You got schooled. It happens. Do you know how many ideas I've had stolen from me? It ain't easy opening a restaurant. Plus, it's kind of cliche for reality TV stars to do it nowadays, but whatevs. You have clothing boutiques or something so, hang your hat on that... so to speak.

Leave the Queen alone. She's got business savvy and ultra coolness. Out of your league.

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YouBoob

1/25/2019

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Offenders for the week ending: January 25, 2019:

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#3 JOSH CHARLES

I totally forgot that this dude is/was an actor, because his most famous role was waaaay back in "Dead Poet's Society". Guess he's on a couple of TV shows? Anywho, he's a deep thinker. If you don't agree with his left wing politics, meaning you're a supporter of the President, then you suck.

"I'm so sick of this motherf*cker. Just so sick. This needs to end. F*ck him and every single person who continues to support him and his dangerous administration."

So eloquent. And hypocritical. The Left stands for all people, yet if you dare to not agree with its point of view then you open yourself to hate speech, threats, violence. Yes, let's end this danger. Sigh. So cliche.

I'm calling you out for your lack of originality. Just as sparkling as your acting career. BWAAA HAAAA HAAAAA!

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#2 CARDI B

Apparently, it's all about "the D." The hip-hop artist may soon reconcile with her lying, cheating husband. She recently admitted the thing she misses the most from her hubby is his wang. Not the relationship; not his fine parenting skills-- his ween. The same ween that he slapped some other tramp with.

Cardi B and Offset broke up in December, but then reunited in Puerto Rico two weeks later because she:

"Just had to to get f*cked. That's all."

But sources say she has a really deep love for Offset. How deep? Like, nine inches deep?

If this dude has such a magic rod, then perhaps he should have a residency in Vegas instead of you. If dude cheats on you one time, he'll do it again.

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#1 LOGAN PAUL, social media "star" and YouTube vlogger

This rich kid-turned-celebrity is the epitome of the clueless millennial. Young and unaware. And, sadly, famous for doing nothing because there are so many even-younger sheeple in this world. During one of his podcasts he was discussing something meaningless with a fellow jerk junkie.

"January is sober vegan January... It's male-only March. We're going to attempt to go gay for just one month."

Really? When so many people struggle on the daily with coming to terms with their sexuality, you're going to make it a fun game? This just further proves how vile this thing is. Last year, Paul was called out for a vlog post that showed the body of an alleged suicide victim in Japan. At that time, he was really sorry for what he did:

"It's time to start a new chapter in my life... I'm humbled and thankful to say this is just the beginning."

Of what? Your continued douchebaggery? Well, you've succeeded!

How 'bout you do something really outrageous in March-- act like a human being for an entire day! Betcha can't. Because you are the genetic compilation of every creature's colon. A royal shi*tbag.

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Jailhouse C&ck

1/4/2019

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Offenders for the week ending January 4, 2019:

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#3 MADONNA

In a sad need to remain top-of-mind, it appears Madge has gotten butt implants. Just in time for the New Year! Apparently, she was performing on stage at a gay club in NYC with her 13-year-old son when patrons noticed a curvier derriere. And it's obvious she didn't receive the gluteal gain from a lot of squats. Her ass looks like a mini-Minaj-- like two cantaloupes stuffed into some stretchy pants. Fans reacted:

"Looks like she has a pillow down there!"

"GOTTA be pads. GOTTA be. Right?!?!"

Others were saying that the lump was the battery pack for her in-ears. Battery packs aren't curvy.... butt.... the truth remains to be seen. Just hope she doesn't drop her pants to prove either theory. For the love of God, put your lady stuff away!

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#2 KANYE WEST

I don't know why Yeezy has such a boner for Drake. Maybe it's because he's Canadian. If that's the case, okay. You live in our country's attic, basically, so just stay there. But for realz, Kanye is bent because Drake-- at one time-- followed his wife, Kimmie K, on the Insta. Well, lock him up! Kim has a gajillion followers because she's perpetually in a state of near-undress. Of course any straight man with a pulse in his crotch is gonna follow her! But there is no talking logic to Kanye:

"I never knew till this morning that Drake followed my wife on Instagram back in September. I had to bring this up because it's the most f*cked up thing of all and I just saw it this morning. Imagine having a problem with somebody and they follow your wife on Instagram."

Ohhhkaaaaay.

Drake and Kanye have been beefin' since Kanye accused Drake of trying to contact the Kardashians and allegedly threatening some kind of physical harm over revealing that Drake has a 14-year-old love-child.

My head hurts for so many reasons. But seriously, why isn't Kanye a reality show? So. Much. Material.

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#1 RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO, "Jersey Shore" Castmember

Is it the Jersey Way to star on a reality TV show, then become a criminal? Fellow castmember Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was sentenced to eight months in prison for tax evasion, and now his buddy might be joining him in the clink if he can't get his shizz together. Ronster is a "person of interest" in a possible burglary that happened in the wee hours of New Year's Day. At least he's finally the "interesting" one from that cast. Too bad he needed a toxic relationship and potential criminal record to make that a reality.

Ronnie and his baby-momma Jen Harley are constantly on-again, off-again. So, they were "on" on New Year's Eve, but then "off" after an argument. There was alleged destruction of property, the thieving of property, but fortunately-- no violence.

Dude, get away from the Jen-uation. She's bad news. There are plenty of other spray-tanned, big-haired, teenie-bikini shore chicks for you to "dock your canoe". And most importantly-- you are the father of an 8-month-old girl. What kind of example are you setting? A sh&tty one. Back off the 'roids and man up where it counts-- your character.

Don't let your brain become as shriveled as your nuts.

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Life Offenders

12/14/2018

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Offenders for the week ending December 14, 2018:

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#3 KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN

John Mayer has his sights set on Kourtney. For the love of all things sacred-- don't go there! I'm not a Kardashian fan, but no one deserves John-Oscar-Mayer. The two were chatting at GQ's Men of the Year party. He was "very into" her. Yeah, and he was heard dropping lines like their crossing paths was "sweet serendipity" and that they should "meet up again soon."

Gag.

Kourtney is supposedly not feeling the Mayer (Yay!). Let's keep it that way. Stay strong. Get. Batteries.

Run from this wang as fast as you can!

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#2 TISH CYRUS

The bonds between a mom and child can be so strong. so it's so sweet that Miley Cyrus and mom Tish are close. Because they smoke weed together.

Miley had given up the green last spring. But momma encouraged her to start again. Miley was happy to be pot-free because she wanted to speak clearly while promoting her new record. But Tish must've said something awesome to change her mind.

"My mom smokes a lot of week. She's gonna be like, 'Well, I've been wanting to do a weed company so you got me started. I'll get you in, don't worry.'"

Oh, goodie. Tish wants to run a business in which she can be in charge of Quality Control? Sigh.

Who cares if you are a potter. But encouraging others to join in-- especially your child no matter what her age-- is repulsive. She was proud and happy to be off of everything, but losers love company.

Way to go, mom of the year.

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#1 NICKI MINAJ

WTF!?!? There are plenty of fish in the sea (and probs in your crotch) So why date a criminal? Especially one that is a registered sex offender!?!?

The large-assian is dating some douche named Kenneth Petty. The two made their relationship Insta official over the weekend. I can do a quickie Google search to find info on anyone. With your resources, you can't do a thorough background check?

It's one thing if you didn't know. But once you found out, why not drop him like a bad habit? Oh, because you support sex offenders. And you think it's all good. Nicki's man was convicted in 1995 of attempted rape in the first degree involving a 16-year-old girl. He was sentenced 18-to-54 months in prison. Meanwhile, Nicki's brother was found guilty in 2017 of sexually assaulting an 11-year-old. Oh-- she's also publicly supported rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine who was involved in a sexually explicit video of a 13-year-old girl.

And you've criticized Cardi B's parenting. You're a horrible human. Zip it, beyotch!

You are the company you keep, so, I guess you're okay with being a POS. Enjoy being a d*ck rag for the rest of your life.

Disgusting. Please never have kids for your man to molest.

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Leggo Your Ego

12/7/2018

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Offenders for the week ending December 7, 2018:

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#3 MADONNA

I think it's a well-established fact that you are, indeed, the Queen of Pop. You dominated for two decades and are still in the public eye-- but for more desperate reasons nowadays than for doing anything worthy. Can't you be pleased that you blazed a trail for other female artists after you? That's right. Your massive ego is just as potent as your crotch stank and has apparently squashed any rational thought.

Again, Madge is pissed at Lady Gaga-- accusing her of stealing a quote from her from the 80s. During interviews for "A Star is Born," Gaga said:

"There can be 100 people in a room and 99 of them don't believe in you, but all it takes is one who does and it just changes your whole life."

How dare she! Because 30 years ago, Madonna said:

"If there's 100 people in a room and 99 say they liked it, I only remember the one person who didn't."

Okay. But Gaga's quote spotlights the positive, while Madonna's the negative. Madonna must've been feeling neglected. Sure she's going to post some naked pics on the Insta to make herself feel better. Vurp. The comparisons between Madonna and Gaga naturally happened, like the comparisons between Mariah and Whitney when Mariah first came on the scene. It's called a reference point.

Nothing better than looking like an over-sensitive has-been...

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#2 GWYNETH PALTROW

Dear Santa... all I want for Christmas is this affront to females to STFU. Please. Apparently, she's related to Al Gore because she's crediting herself for inventing things she did not.

If you've ever done yoga, it's because she made it a "thing." WTH?

"I remember when I started doing yoga and people were like, 'What is yoga?' She's a witch. She's a freak.' Forgive me if this comes out wrong, but I went to do a yoga class in L.A. recently and the 22-year-old girl behind the counter was like, 'Have you ever done yoga before?' And I literally turned to my friend, and I was like, 'You have this job because I've done yoga before.'"

Wow! Well, I'll give ya the 'witch' part...

Gwynie reminds me of the South Park episode where all the pretentious people get high off of their own farts. Anywho, this poor 22-year-old has no idea who you are because you haven't done anything relevant since..... ? No wonder you and Madonna are scissor sisters.

Here's something I hope you invent: a yoga move in which you're able to stick your head up your own ass and disappear.

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#1 NATALIE PORTMAN

In a recent interview, Natalie took a shot at Jessica Simpson for her confusion about sexuality as a child.

?

Yup. Back in the late 90s, Jessica was the chick. Jessica was also proudly vocal about being a virgin. So Natalie was confused when she saw Jessica posing in a bikini for a magazine cover.

"I remember being a teenager, and there was Jessica Simpson on the cover of a magazine saying 'I'm a virgin,' while wearing a bikini, and I was confused. Like, I don't know what this is trying to tell me as a woman, as a girl."

How 'bout nothing? That virgins don't wear sacks and hide under their beds until it's time to embrace the wang. That virgins are people, too, and sometimes they have smokin' hot bodies!

Jessica clapped back:

"I was taught to be myself and honor the different ways all women express themselves, which is why I believed then-- and believe now-- that being sexy in a bikini and being proud of my body are not synonymous with having sex.. I have made it my practice to not shame women for their choices. In this era of Time's Up and all the great work you have done for women, I encourage you to do the same.'

Boom!

Another example of these "empowering" p*ssy hat women taking shots at other women. Grrrrr.

P.S. I hate your perfume commercials.

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Windbag Beneath Our Wings

11/30/2018

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Offenders for the week ending November 30, 2018:

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#3 JUSTIN BIEBER

Perhaps he can be a Buddha for millennials after dropping this gem of wisdom:

"Love isn't always easy."

Duh. The internets were all a quivering because Justin and his new wife, Hailey Baldwin, spent their first Thanksgiving together. And it also marked the first time their families got together in one place. OMG!

"Relationships are hard and love isn't always easy but thank you Jesus for showing me how! Every day is a learning process, trying to be more like him, patient, kind, selfless, boy I got a long way! But gods grace is sufficient!"

I'm hoping this spiritual/zen Beebs sticks. You can't be a hot mess you're whole life, right? You're welcome for the preventative slap.

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#2 VICKI GUNVALSON, Real Housewives of Orange County cast member

She likes to call herself the O.G. of the O.C. because she's been on the show for its duration. Awesome! But this aging attention-whore is expert at storytelling-- damaging storytelling. Her latest victim: fellow cast member Kelly Dodd. For whatever reason during the show's reunion episode, she decided to spill some tea-- claiming that Kelly does cocaine. That went over like a lead balloon. Kelly wants Vicki gone.

"If they don't so something to Vicki how could I go back... They are running that show to the ground and hurting people's reputation and my brand!!"

Vicki, who likes to flaunt her wealth, should watch her ass. Especially if Kelly sues for slander. Vicki has spread rumors in the past about other friends on the show: Tamra's husband is gay; Shannon was beaten by her ex-husband; so-and-so's marriage is miserable, etc...

Yes, stirring up the shizz makes for good reality TV, but if you're hurling up lies, then you're damaging someone's life. We're going to change your name to Icky Fullofshit.

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#1 BETTE MIDLER

This is why I hate the entertainment business, especially the "powerful" women in the business. They preach supporting women, and uplifting fellow ovarians, and helping females get ahead... blah, blah, blah. It's bullshit, quite honestly. Hollywood women only support other women if they have the same viewpoint. If you don't, then we're going to eviscerate you in the most brutal way. We're going to say the most vile things about you publicly, then turn around and talk about how we love women!

The Meddler hates our President. I understand many people loathe him. So it makes it acceptable to loathe his wife, the First Lady, and his family. You know, guilt by association. I love how the FLOTUS is denounced for being beautiful and for having a successful career as a model. Yes, she has done many a sexy photo shoot. If I had her looks and her body, you'd bet I'd capitalize on all that while I could. But Bette ain't having it. After tweeting a photo from 2000 of Melania Trump wearing a sexy bikini while posing in an airplane cockpit, she wrote:

"The dry cleaning bill for the upholstery on Air Force One must be insane."

With the hashtag: #FLOTITS

Her own fans called her out for her venom. I recall a time in Miss AssHat's career where she was known for shaking her LOW-TITS and flab ass. When Hollywood-types open their mouths, they show how stupid they really are. Which is why politicians love them-- because they'll spread any ol' pile of lies like a good soldier.

Bette, please, find some good hormone-balancing meds and get fitted for a mouth muffler. Thanks.

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Not HA HA

11/9/2018

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Offenders for the week ending November 9, 2018:

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#3 KIM KARDASHIAN

When, oh when, are we going to learn that certain words are just not acceptable? Sure, back in my day we said so-and-so... but you can't say so-and-so today. Is it fair? Not necessarily. But that's just the way it is. And you jackal celebrities? This applies to you as well.

It's not acceptable to drop the "R word", Kimmie. You videotape yourself all. the. time. So, you'd think she'd think and not say something stupid. Wrong! I guess she got bent when no one could identify her Halloween outfit as that of Pamela Anderson. She got upset.

"Nobody knows who I am. Yeah! Retarded."

If only we didn't know. Hey! She's sorry!

"I want to apologize for what I said in a recent video post that is inappropriate and insensitive to the special needs community. I try to learn from my mistakes and this is one of those times. Please know that my intention is always pure, and in this case, it was a mistake. I'm sorry."

Oh, you're sorry all right. But you're still famous for absolutely nothing. Learn harder, K?

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#2 ALEC BALDWIN

Proving what a douchebag his truly is, Mr. Hot Head allegedly got into a physical altercation over a parking spot. Supposedly, the victim snaked into the spot that Azzhat was waiting for. So the best way to resolve the issue? Smack him upside the head. Of course, Baldwin denies the fight happened.

"I realize that it has become a sport to tag people w as many negative charges and defaming allegations as possible for the purposes of clickbait headline. Fortunately, no matter how reverberating the echos, it doesn't make the statements true.."

Look, dude. You're not known for your scintillating personality. In fact, aren't you and Sean Penn long-lost bros? I'm surprised he didn't blame Donald Trump for this fiasco.

Here's a thought... let it go. And go away. Makes life a lot better. For all of us.

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#1 PETE DAVIDSON

While it's known that I have a twisted sense of humor. I know where to draw the line. Making fun of any of our servicemen or servicewomen is never, ever funny. Ever.

During the latest edition of Saturday Night Live, Pete gave his first impressions of people running for office. Dan Crenshaw is a former Navy SEAL who lost his eye serving in Afghanistan in 2012. Lost his eye. Wears a patch. True to form, Mr. Funny F$ck gave his first impression:

"A hitman in a porno movie. Which I mean who cares, right? I'm sorry, I know he lost his eye in war, or whatever. Whatever."

Yup. Whatever. Just fighting in a war as a badass Navy SEAL. Fighting like you'd never have the sack to do. Because you're a little, weak, wussy, ha-ha man. Why don't you pick up a gun and go fight the enemy for a bigger truth and ideals. Can't? You're not man enough. Eat a bag, or two. You need it.

No wonder Ariana Grande dumped yo ass. Maybe your name should be Piece (of sh&t) Davidson.

By the way, Crenshaw won. Mic drop.

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No One's "Pal"

11/2/2018

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Offenders for the week ending November 2, 2018:

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#3 LANDON CLEMENTS, former cast member on Southern Charm

Bitch almost ruined dolphins for me-- because she sounds like one when she talks. And not in a cute "come swim with me" kind of way. More like, I-need-to-shove-hot-pokers-in-my-ears-to-stop-the-pain kind of way.

She's always looking for love and never finding it. She constantly bemoaned the failure of her first marriage. First, the blame was shared by both parties. And then, he was the rectum twister for being controlling and possessive, and blah, blah, blah-- whatever made for good "reality" TV.

If dude was such a douche, why would you publicly celebrate the 10th anniversary of your wedding? This gold-diggin' famewhore:

"My sister in law (ex) just reached out to wish me a happy what would have been my 10th wedding anniversary. It is sort of bittersweet but if something is not working for you find the strength to walk away. Learn the lessons and try to keep a smile on your face."

And like Elsa: Let it go.... Let it gooooooooo!

Post something we'd actually care about-- like your permanent banishment from the female gender.

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#2 HAUNTED HOOCHIE (aka Dead Acres)

It's rare when a brand or non-person makes the list, but you'll soon understand. The Haunted Hoochie is not Kim Kardashian's crotch. It's a haunted house in Ohio that has stirred it up. For 28 years, the attraction has held "Swastika Saturday". If this weren't bad enough, we all know that last Saturday was the deadly shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh. Yet, the owners felt no need to pull the promotion. Because, you know, it's tradition. SMH.

Look, I'm not politically correct. But I do have common sense. And sensitivity. Unlike long-time patrons that defended the promotion. Because, again, it's tradition... and has nothing to do with hate. Do you know what a swastika symbolizes?

swas·ti·ka
/ˈswästəkə/
noun

an ancient symbol in the form of an equal-armed cross with each arm continued at a right angle, used (in clockwise form) as the emblem of the German Nazi Party.

A party of... hate.

Well, the owners are really sorry-- now. They will no longer support costumes or musical acts or anything that promotes hate. Dumb can't be defended. Sure would suck if some gang member-types showed up at your place...

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#1 GWYNETH PALTROW

Two weeks in a row, but you top this list this week. Why? Because you're irresponsible! Sure, you have "people" that are supposed to mind the manor, but you are the name and the face of the brand. So, you're ultimately the one who answers for everything.

You've come up with quite the list and items of things we need to do to our bodies, but now the time has come for you to just stop. Stop!

This time, she's recommending moms-to-be take her supplements called: The Mother Load. The supplements contain a high amount of vitamin A, according to critics. Too much vitamin A during pregnancy can lead to birth defects and liver toxicity. Well, phooey, say Goop's PR machine:

"When used as recommended, Goop's The Mother Load supplements are safe during pregnancy. The Mother Load contains a very moderate 450 mcg (1500 IU) of vitamin, which is less than the recommended daily intake of 600 mcg per day."

Aside: does this item have to be named "load"? Isn't that how a woman gets into the preggo predicament in the first place?

Anywho, the product isn't recommended by the NHS or the WHO. Oops.

You're no lifestyle expert, Gwen. So please, exit the planet.

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F&ck Face

10/26/2018

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Offenders for the week ending October 26, 2018:

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#3 GWYNETH PALTROW

Gwynie is all kinds of mad at Julia Roberts because her buddy remains friends with her ex-husband, Chris Martin. What!?!? I thought since the two of you "consciously uncoupled" that everything was coolio between you two. Guess not.

"Julia was at Gwyneth's engagement party but missed her wedding and then showed up at the party Chris and Dakota (Johnson, his girlfriend) were throwing instead... it's been difficult for their mutual pals to stay friends with them both."

Are you mentally stuck in grade school? You're supposed to be this evolved, all-knowing entity, spewing all your wisdom on your Goop website. Blah, blah, blah. Time to stomp your feet; throw yourself on the floor; flail your arms and kick your legs and crrrrryyyyyy.

"Gwyneth isn't Dakota's biggest fan and Brad (Falchuk, Gwyn's new hubby) didn't want Chris at their wedding celebrations, so Gwyneth isn't happy to see Julia hanging out with her ex."

Maybe Julia came to her senses and realized what a tit donkey you really are...

Oh, and get over the Dakota thing. Yes, she's younger than you. It's what men do. My ex married a chick 13 years his junior. I'm happy for him. Cuz now she can wipe his old ass instead of me.

#winning

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#2 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

Kryptic Khloe is posting more relationship quotes on the social medias.

"Free yourself from negative people. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you."

There's more...

"Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU-- and being YOU is the only way to truly live."

And she wants to move to the CLE during the NBA season so her baby daddy Tristan can spend time with her and their daughter. Sigh. Stop with the passive-aggressive shizz and just get aggressive on Tristan. He deserves it. Kick him and his wandering wangthang out on his bum!

Here's something I wrote for you:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Kick him in the head
Or ya gonna get screwed... again

via GIPHY

#1 MEGYN KELLY

Why is she even still on TV? Well, she was a no-show for her show the other day, after she stepped in it... again. Where ya balls at now? Full retreat mode, is it? Maybe this will finally put an end to our misery, and her ratings-zapper of a show. Her latest guffaw? Not understanding why blackface is racist.

She said that when she was a child, it was okay to dress in blackface and "white face" for Halloween:

"... you were dressing like a character."

While that may be true, it's no longer something you can do without stirring the pot. There are many things we said and did as young folk that you just can't say and do now. Plus, she used Real Housewives of New York cast member Luann de Lesseps as an example of how it's cool. This past season, Luann dressed as Diana Ross-- in blackface.

"The iconic Diana Ross came up as an example. To me, I thought, why would it be controversial for someone dressing up as Diana Ross to make herself look like this amazing woman as a way of honoring and respecting her.?"

Ima have to call b.s on this rationale. And please-- enough with the ass-kissing. Diana gives zero effs about you, Meghole.

In a letter of apology to her colleagues and staff members, she said she's really sorry and didn't realize how un-p.c. blackface is because she herself is not politically correct.

Guess what, wenchbag? I'm not p.c. either, but I have the sense to not act a fool. You're a highly, overly-paid journalist, no? Do some research and get back to us.

#goaway

*update Meg is out at NBC. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus...

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