Offender for the week ending December 3rd, 2021:
#3 WILL SMITH
For whatever reason, I'm no longer Team Will. And I don't know why... maybe I sensed this story and that's a part of it? Anywho, Willie is on blast- thanks to comedian Langston Kerman. But why, you may wonder... for Will's silly dad jokes that he posts on the IG. Guess the jokes aren't Will's. In fact, he supposedly hires other comics to write the jokes, then makes them sign NDAs. Langston said:
"I know so many comedians who had to sign NDAs to help Will Smith write silly dad jokes for Instagram, and now this n*gga is out here talking about throwing up from p*ssy poisoning. Rich people are wild."
If you're scratching your head over this reference, Will just released an autobiography in which he admitted that he had sex with so many women that he developed a "psychosomatic reaction" to reaching the Big O, saying:
"It would literally make me gag and sometimes even vomit."
Well, some women have bat caves that are musty...
"I know so many comedians who had to sign NDAs to help Will Smith write silly dad jokes for Instagram, and now this n*gga is out here talking about throwing up from p*ssy poisoning. Rich people are wild."
If you're scratching your head over this reference, Will just released an autobiography in which he admitted that he had sex with so many women that he developed a "psychosomatic reaction" to reaching the Big O, saying:
"It would literally make me gag and sometimes even vomit."
Well, some women have bat caves that are musty...
#2 KATIE THURSTON, Reality TV Star/The Bachelorette
It's so amusing that people think they can find true love on a reality TV show. Love is hard (so to speak) to find IRL. But Katie gave the college try and found her fiancée Blake. For a hot minute. Cuz she done moved on to another bachelor from the same season, John Hersey. Who she sent home in week two. But they remained friends, and now are a thing. And Blake didn't see it coming:
“I really don’t think there was any physical cheating there, but there [was] clearly emotional [cheating] for it to transition as quickly as it did. I feel stupid and foolish for allowing it to happen, to some degree... I know they spent a lot of time together and stuff but there's just no way. I never had an inkling. I am just a very secure guy and I give my trust out 100 percent, especially to the person who I should be trusting the most."
Those Reality Steve rumors that Katie was spotted at the bar that John tends were true. Perhaps he was tending her hair bar, too. We'll see how long this one lasts. Because after watching the episode where we met Katie's mom and aunt, Blake is better off. Those two ladies are def men-haters. I imagined the duo going on a dick-ripping-off spree and making a big weenie roast.
“I really don’t think there was any physical cheating there, but there [was] clearly emotional [cheating] for it to transition as quickly as it did. I feel stupid and foolish for allowing it to happen, to some degree... I know they spent a lot of time together and stuff but there's just no way. I never had an inkling. I am just a very secure guy and I give my trust out 100 percent, especially to the person who I should be trusting the most."
Those Reality Steve rumors that Katie was spotted at the bar that John tends were true. Perhaps he was tending her hair bar, too. We'll see how long this one lasts. Because after watching the episode where we met Katie's mom and aunt, Blake is better off. Those two ladies are def men-haters. I imagined the duo going on a dick-ripping-off spree and making a big weenie roast.
#1 AARON CARTER
This dude defines messy. Like, look up the phrase "shit show" in the dictionary. His picture is there. At least in our dictionary it would be. He and his fiancée, Melanie Martin, have called it quits. Oh... she just gave birth to their son. A week ago. But she had it coming because she talked to Aaron's family-- whom he's estranged. Per Hot Mess Aaron:
“There has been a very big lie and my sister communicating w my ex fiancé [SIC] ruined everything considering she knew what angel tried to do to me in court thanks angel (Aaron's twin) you ruined my family. God bless... I have the most conniving deceiving family and Melanie has been lying to me the whole time communicating with my twin sister and the family members who tried to put me in prison and who tried to get a conservatorship on me in court."
Did you get all that? And... Melanie is supposedly taking their son, named Prince, to Vegas. Not to play the slots, though that wouldn't shock me, but to live-- sans Aaron.
But remember, he's not crazy. I've met him before. Perhaps he's just a skosh cray. Or a dump truck full...
“There has been a very big lie and my sister communicating w my ex fiancé [SIC] ruined everything considering she knew what angel tried to do to me in court thanks angel (Aaron's twin) you ruined my family. God bless... I have the most conniving deceiving family and Melanie has been lying to me the whole time communicating with my twin sister and the family members who tried to put me in prison and who tried to get a conservatorship on me in court."
Did you get all that? And... Melanie is supposedly taking their son, named Prince, to Vegas. Not to play the slots, though that wouldn't shock me, but to live-- sans Aaron.
But remember, he's not crazy. I've met him before. Perhaps he's just a skosh cray. Or a dump truck full...
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