Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Ruding & Feuding

7/24/2020

Offenders for the week ending : July 24, 2020:

#3 MICKEY ROURKE

This dude has always been odd. Excellent actor, but a touch (a lot) Looney Tunes-y. For whatever reason, he decided to re-ignite his feud with Robert DeNiro. Guess these two hated each other ever since they worked with each other on the film "Angel Heart" in 1987.

In a now "disappeared" post on the Insta, Mickster shared a pic of a young Bobby wearing a red jacket and smoking a cigarette-- with this heartfelt caption:

"Big (freaking) crybaby. Mr. Tough Guy in the movies. Let me tell you something, you punk ass, when I see you I swear to God on my Grandmother, on my brother and all my dogs, (I'm) gonna embarrass you severely 100 percent..."

?

Mmmmkay. I'm sure DoucheNiro doesn't care about you. In fact, y'all sound like two old dudes that need a nap and some antacid and some Tucks, and tapioca pudding to make everything feel better...

The only cool thing about this, is that your beef has extended into two centuries... Kudos.

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#2 50 CENT

Sometimes the support really isn't the offering of support. It's really just a way to get your foot in the door for some tea spillin'. Methinks this is the case when 50 DM-ed Will Smith to "check in" on him after Will and wife Jada Pinkett Smith aired their dirties about her "entanglement" with August Alsina for all the world to partake. ICYMI, August and Jada "entangled" for a few years while she and Will were on a marriage break. Dude claims Will gave him permission to smash. Now back to Half-Dollar, who had to make the DM exchange all public to try and play the victim of Will's venom, because things got ugly during the exchange. What set Will off? This:

"She (Jada) said only SHE can give permission for somebody to blow her back out."

Which received a "F*ck you 50" from Will.

What did you expect? You're known for being quite the Richard, throwing your hat into situations that have nothing to do with you. We see you, Fiddy. We. See. You. You've got no room to talk or question. You spent time in Chelsea Handler's Holland Tunnel, so...

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#1 ELLEN DEGENERES

Don't you hate it when something ends up being too good to be true? Or if someone appears so cool and perfect, but you have that gut feeling that said person is probably a POS? It appears all the rumors of Ellen being a big meany are true. Like, she's one nasty b. Crushing. Should've known mizz queen of "Be Kind" is just projecting a virtue she herself does not possess.

Story after story has emerged of her mistreatment of staff. Current and former staffers are laying it all out there:

Staffers faced racism. fear and intimidation
Employees were fired after taking medical leave or bereavement leave
You're not allowed to speak to Ellen around the office

And this from writer Ben Simeon:

"Every day she picks someone different to really hate. It's not your fault, just suck it up for the day and she'll be mean to someone else the next day."

And that's just a taste of the vinegar popsicle being fed around there. Staffers also have a bone to pick with Ellen's executive producers who are aware of the repulsive behavior, but allow it to continue.

Why don't you be nice to us, Ellen, by sticking your head up your own ass and disappearing. It's the kindest thing you can do.

COVIDIOT

3/27/2020

Offenders for the week ending March 27, 2020:

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#3 50 CENT

There's a global pandemic happening. Sounds like the perfect time to reignite a beef with someone! Since the rapper isn't touring or working, his stay-at-home mandate is pretty much the norm, but I digress. He must've been bored when he spotted a story about his archenemies Randall Emmett and Lala Kent postponing their April 18th wedding because of uncertainty surrounding COVID-19-- and decided to go social with his thoughts:

"... wasn't nobody going to this s--t anyway."

A few months ago, 50 alleged Emmett (a movie producer) owed him $1 million. So he took to the socials and called his fiance (she's a Bravo TV star) a "hoe" for admitting she was gifted a Range Rover from Randall after their first sexual encounter (a B-to-the-J). Randall has since re-paid 50, so....

Find a hobby, 50. Knit something.

P.S. Good for Lala and her skills. Seriously, tho.

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#2 MADONNA

As a little girl who wanted to be known as the Asian Madonna, I say to you, Madonna-- Shut. The. F%ck. Up. The Material Mamaw recently posted what's being called a video "sermon" while naked in a milky bathtub of floating rose petals, sharing her thoughts on COVID-19:

"That's the thing about COVID-19. It doesn't care about how rich you are, how famous you are, how funny you are. How smart you are. Where you live. What amazing stories you can tell. It's the great equalizer and what's terrible about it is what's great about it."

Yaaay, COVID-19? Please, stop sharing. We've seen it all from you, heard it all from you. Yawn. While you're at it, back off the chemical peel or whatever you did to your face. Extra shiny and smooth isn't normal.

Oh, and Botox isn't a "great equalizer". You'll never be 24 again.

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#1 EVANGELINE LILLY

Selfishness at its highest. Stupidity at its highest. These phrases are all Evangeline. I'm always down for a good conspiracy theory. And even though I'm a part of the media, I "see" what goes on with it. Is COVID-19 as scary as it's portrayed? Is it just a bad case of the flu? I'm no expert. And neither is an over-paid asshat actress. She's been raving how life is still normal for her. and she ain't changing a thing (until the lockdown order). She and her children, and her immuno-compromised father-- all of whom she lives with-- give zero effs. Sure.

"I am living with my father at the moment, who has stage four leukemia. I am also immune compromised at the moment. I have two young kids. Some people value their lives over freedom, some people value freedom over their lives. We all make our choices."

Unfortunately, b*tch, you're making choices for your children and for your father when you take your skank ass outside and mingle and roam when you shouldn't. Why? #Fact-- you can be asymptomatic, but then pass on the sickness to someone else who then gets sick. Like, your two kids or your dad.

I love my freedom. And I choose to not be a twatwaffle and do my part to chill and try to "flatten the curve".

Perhaps Darwin will do us all a favor and find you. ASAP.

Aaron's (Pitiful) Party

9/20/2019

Offenders for the week ending September 20th, 2019:

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#3 50 CENT

Yo, Fiddy. Why u beefin' still with reality TV star LaLa Kent? We understand your real beef is with her fiancee, movie producer Randall Emmett. So why not go after him? Or is this like mob mentality where you go after what your enemy cares about the most? Sigh. Anywho, LaLa addressed this stupid feud on a recent TV appearance, so 50 decided to take to social media and make some memes out of some of her pictures, like:

"Shut up b*tch. You started with the wrong person good night"

Eloquent. But this is so much eloquent-er:

"Rise in shine puffy face. It's gym time but I'm sure your having a hangover. Welp. Here's to life buck O. LOL"

First, check yo grammar before you check someone. Next, must we make fun of a person who has publicly admitted they have struggled with the sauce?

Boo. Why don't you just sue her man to get your money back? Guess you need some beef to remind us you had some hits back in the day. Like, last decade.

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#2 WENDY WILLIAMS

I've never liked this woman one bit. Overrated. Bitter. Nasty. What sucks is that she has a forum in which to sling the mud-- without proof. Yes, we all have opinions about stuff-- but she has chronic diarrhea of the mouth. Somebody get this *B* some Imodium. Or a mouth plug.

Iconic beauty Christie Brinkley had to back out of the latest installment of Dancing With the Stars. Because she broke her arm while rehearsing, The injury required surgery, a metal plate, and screws. There's even photographic evidence of said injury. But Wendy doesn't buy it:

"... that looked fake as hell. Let me tell you what I see. What I see is a 65-year-old hot stuff who looks like if you were going to fracture anything, you should have said the tailbone. I don't see a wrist and a shoulder being fractured, but that was real cute."

In Wendy World, this is all a part of a nefarious plot for Christie to get her model daughter, Sailor on the show. Which has happened.

Well, methinks Wendy would know about fake. Have you see that weave of hers?

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#1 AARON CARTER

Proving that fame and meager fortune doesn't make your life perfect, Aaron has been a hot mess since birth. No, seriously. The former teen pop star has had troubles with substances and the law. And now, his kinda-more successful brother-- Nick-- has filed a restraining order against him. Why? Oh, you know. That whole threatening-to-kill-his-pregnant-wife thing:

"In light of Aaron's increasingly alarming behavior and his recent confession that he harbors thoughts and intentions of killing my pregnant wife and unborn child, we were left no choice but to take every measure possible to protect ourselves and our family. We love our brother and truly hope he gets the proper treatment he needs before any harm comes to himself or anyone else."

Yikes! Meanwhile, Aaron says he hasn't even seen his brother or sister in over four years, so nobody's really gonna get hurt. Aaron dropped this on social media:

"Take care. We're done for life."

He's another shining example of how drugs are bad. Let's just say we've experienced his destructive behavior many moons ago...

Look, Aaron. You're only 32. You still have time to unf&ck your life!

Fumin' and Feudin'

5/3/2019

Offenders for the week ending May 3, 2019:

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#3 PETE DAVIDSON

I get it. Celebs have their "don't talk to me about this" list when it comes to interviews. Sometimes, those topics are off-limits in business deals, too. Petey left his scheduled show at The Stress Factory Comedy Club in Connecticut because owner Vinnie Brand made a joke on stage about his personal life:

"Pete was not about to let this guy ruin his show, disrespect him and abuse the names of women Pete respects and cares about... It's sad that people like this club owner would pull a stunt like this just to bring attention to himself and his club."

Really, Pete? Yes, it ain't cool this dude took a shot at your shoddy love life. But if I recall, you made fun Navy SEAL Dan Crenshaw-- who lost his eye serving our country and was running for office (which he won.) But that's okay, because it's comedy. Right? Put on your big girl panties and deal with being the target of some lame joke. Sucks, doesn't it. Boo hoo!

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#2 RAPPER 50 CENT AND LALA KENT (cast member of Vanderpump Rules)

Nothing like a lame feud between celebrities and reality "stars". 50 Insta-humiliated LaLa after she shared her story on the show about how she landed her much-older fiancee/movie producer Randall Emmett. LaLa said:

"I let him (Randall) hit it the first time and we were inseparable. He would just send me, like, really expensive gifts. The first night we banged, I got a car the next day. He was like, 'Do you want a Ranger Rover?'"

To which 50 Insta-ed:

"10 seconds left in the 4 quarter hoe's are Winning. Do you want A range rover, yes, bitch yassss. Then just run out and suck a d-k. LOL smh"

Then the feud commenced. LaLa calling 50 a douche. 50 saying Randall owed him a million bucks and had a week to pay it back (he did.) Randall begged 50 to stop the beef with Magic Vaj, and then he ended up in the hospital with chest pains.

WTF? Thanks for the entertainment, but y'all are lame. For many reasons.

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#1 RICK SCHRODER

The actor long ago dropped the "y" from his name to seem more grown up. Well, grown decent folk don't beat their significant others. For the second time in 30 days, he's been arrested on domestic violence charges. According to the popo:

"When deputies arrived, they mad contact with the suspect and the victim. They also identified evidence of a physical altercation."

A similar incident occurred April 2nd. Schroder had been married nearly 24 years before his divorce in 2016. We may never know what's swimming inside your head, especially after a tough breakup with your ex. But, you're a father of four. Get your head out of your ass before someone beats you with a silver spoon. You'd think with all the law enforcement roles you've played, you wouldn't break the law. But in this case, life doesn't imitate art.

Perhaps instead of dropping the "y" from your name, you should've gone with the moniker more befitting you: Dick.

All In The Family w/Some "Coins"...

10/9/2015

Celebrity offenders for the week of October 5, 2015:

This week's Slapees are given a homework assignment based on their offense...

"I meant 'happy'..."

#3 50 CENT
OFFENSE: Dense
Oh, 50! He got himself mixed-up in a gay-bashing controversy because he supposedly doesn't know how "re-posting" works. Uh-huh... See, he re-posted an Instagram post that threw shade at the TV show "Empire"'s less-than-stellar second season ratings. Part of the post said the reason is because of the show's "gay stuff".

Nice. Way to further perpetuate stereotypes and bigotry... anywho, 50's spokesperson prepared a statement saying that the "rapper" made an unfortunate mistake. Like that unfortunate mistake of a film called "Righteous Kill"?

Ouch!

Your homework assignment: Write an essay about what it's like to be a has-been... include personal anecdotes...

"I don't understand..."

#2 THE KARDASHIANS
OFFENSE: Thieves
So the Kardashians are filthy rich... and they may be filthy thieves! Wha!?!? In a recently uncovered lawsuit, Kim, Khloe, and Rob are accused of using a former client's credit card to rack up over $120 thousand in unauthorized charges! Sonja Norwood, the momager of singer Brandy and her brother Ray J (aka Kim's happy-happy-fun-time video partner), gave the fams her credit card to make a one-time purchase.

Guess they made it more than one time... Maybe they thought she meant one time each?

(in a ditzy voice) "Cuz, like, I only made one charge. And then Rob made one, and then Khloe made one. That's cool, right?"

And the topper-- these mental giants used the card at their own boutiques! Too bad this trio of twits didn't try to buy some class...

Your homework assignment: Re-create the Solar System in a shoe box... one that doesn't include any you!

"I am LEGEND! Y'all hear me!?!?"

#1 KANYE WEST
OFFENSE: The Master of Delusion
He's the Gary Busey of the music world, because what spews out of his mouth is utter non-sense. Like his latest rant that reality TV is an art form, and what a shame it is that the Kardashians haven't won Emmys for their cutting-edge visionary genius. Blah, blah, blah...

Quote: "I feel proud to be in a family that has so many people breaking ground for the generations that come..."

Reality TV, an art form? Reality TV is something we watch when we need something mindless. Plus, there's nothing real about reality TV! And... if future generations believe what Kanye is spewing-- we're all in trouble.

Your homework assignment: Fashion a blinged-out Cone of Silence... so you can talk to only yourself!

PHOTO CREDITS:
50 Cent https://www.flickr.com/photos/tigerdirect/
The Kardashians https://www.flickr.com/photos/evarinaldiphotography/
Kanye West https://www.flickr.com/photos/27620885@N02/

Sheeran Happens...

7/31/2015

Offenders for the week of July 27, 2015:

This week's Slapees are given new assignments based on their career and offense...

"Don't pull my finger..."

#3 ED SHEERAN
OFFENSE: Stinky pants
The Brit has something in common with weatherman Al Roker-- both have publicly admitted to poopin' their pants. By all means, that's something you should confess to us. Vurp. His admission (not emission) was not entirely his fault. The interviewer asked if Ed ever passed gas on stage (because that's information we all need to know!) He replied:

"All the time!" Then...

"I actually misjudged a fart one time, which ended up being a shart... I was like, 'All right I'm just going to stand for the rest of the performance, and hope it's over soon, and then go home and throw these trousers out!'"

And if that weren't enough, Ladies, this will really get your juices flowin'-- he's gone three days without changing his underwear. He blamed that on his late teenage years. Sure...

Your next song should be: "Shart at the Devil"

"HA, HA, I showed u! Oops, I'm in trouble...."

#2 50 CENT
OFFENSE: Idiot supreme
The financial hits keep-a-comin' for our favorite half-dollar. Not only has he filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, but now he's been slapped with two large judgments against him. He has to pay a total of $7 million to a woman for posting a 13-minute sex tape of her with her boyfriend. It was an attempt for 50 to taunt his rival, rapper Rick Ross-- with whom the victim has a child with.

Lame. That's the best way you could get back at Ross-ter? Why not taunt him with your latest hit... oh, yeah-- no hits for you-- except for the financial kind.

Your next endorsement should be: Dumbsani Water

"Lookie! It's pile of Scotty Scarborough!"

#1 UNIVERSITY OF AKRON PRESIDENT SCOTT SCARBOROUGH
OFFENSE: Shady M.F.
This Toolbag Texan is doing a bang-up job as head of the U (notice the sarcasm.) Yeah... sending police to escort the entire staff of E.J. Thomas Hall out of the building like they're common criminals-- classy. Trying to get around a tuition hike cap by tagging on a $50 per credit hour rip for upperclassmen-- nasty. Golfing while the ax is swung by your lackees- trashy (and ball-less, Mr. Sackscab).

Oh--and that was a great move cutting the entire baseball program. Are you still going to honor any player's scholarships? Of course not.

Good luck with that $60 million dollar deficit.

I hope Zippy finds you and shoves that $400-thousand dollar a year salary in your pouch!

Your next job should be: Chief Chemist for Scarborough's Eve douches

PHOTO CREDIT:
Ed Sheeran https://www.flickr.com/photos/evarinaldiphotography/
50 Cent https://www.flickr.com/photos/tigerdirect/
Pile of Poo https://www.flickr.com/photos/andrewcurrie/

Ruding & Feuding

COVIDIOT

Aaron's (Pitiful) Party

Fumin' and Feudin'

All In The Family w/Some "Coins"...

Sheeran Happens...

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