Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
The slap hand is taking a rest this week. But that doesn't mean YOU can't slap a celebrity! Who do you want to "slap" and why? Don't be shy...
|
Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
Offenders for the week ending July 23rd, 2021:
#3 SPIKE LEE
He pulled a Steve Harvey x 100 at the Cannes Film Festival. He accidentally announced "Titane" as winner of the Palme d'Or-- which is the big prize-- before all the other prizes.
Duh! That's like announcing the Best Film award at the Oscars at the beginning of the broadcast. Wait, that might be a good thing... Anywho, Spike is really sorry for the epic eff-up: "I have no excuses. I messed up... It's like the guy at the end of the game who misses the free throw." Dude. You weren't at the end of the game. That's the point. But we get it. You're lucky the French didn't pelt you with cheese and disdain...
#2 LARSA PIPPEN
I thought this THOT had left the building, but she's still out there gettin' pub as one of the Real Housewives of Miami. Whatever. But do you still need to talk about your affair with the very married NBA baller Malik Beasley? Oh, yeah. That's the only storyline you have....
She's opened her flaps again to share that she wouldn't get back with Malik if he tried to woo her. Uhhhmmmm, okay: "(Larsa) has not been in communication with Malik and is unaware of what he's been up to... She has vowed she would not get back with him and would never take him back if he tried getting back with her. She's completely moved on and is enjoying being single again." You're assuming he wants you back, after you disparaged his manhood and dating style publicly. Of course, he is a POS, but... Actually sounds like you two deserve each other. Maybe you two should reunite for a reality TV show called, "The Hoe and The Hopeless."
#1 CHRISSY TEIGEN
Chrissy is all upset, afraid that she's been put in what she calls the "Cancel Club." She's all sad and depressed that people have come for her over her well-known bullying of women and people that don't fit her narrative.
"I really don't know what to say here. Just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s-t in real life. Going outside sucks and doesn't feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I'm handling this now isn't the right answer. I feel lost and need to find my place again." Boo f&cking-hoo. Where is your place? Since your perfection of Mean Girl-ism has been reviled, what will you do? Can't tell anyone on the socials (Courtney Stodden) to go 'take a dirt nap." Perhaps you should ask yourself why you feel the need to come for everybody. Why don't you stay in your lane and just talk about your cookbooks and your lifestyle crap? Live your life and let others live theirs. Unless you like wearing the crown of hypocrisy...
Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
Offenders for the week ending July 16, 2021:
#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON & LAMAR ODOM
Khloe Kardashian's exes got into a public pissing match over a hot outdoor shower pic of Khloe. Both dumbass dudes posted flirty comments on her pic, but when Tristan noticed Lamar posted flirty stuff, too, well...
Tristan replied to Lamar's "hottie" comment with: "@lamarodom God brought you back the first time. Play if you want, different results." Children, please. You both are known eff-ups. And you both are permanently in the Ex Zone. Nice try. Now, back to your regularly scheduled philandering and drugging.
#2 BILL COSBY
Now that this jailbird is free, he's looking to sue Pennsylvania for incarcerating him. And sadly, he'll probably win. If that weren't vomit-inducing enough, this pudding pop f*cker wants to work. As in, on the comedy circuit. Sadly again, someone will probably book him because any publicity is good publicity.
What's your material gonna be about? Those fun times when you drugged the drinks of unsuspecting women, then assaulted them? When you'd preach to young comedians to stop playing blue when you were playing pharmacist? You didn't get the nickname Pill Cosby for nothing. Most people with any sense of morals or ethics would not support this POS. Karma can't come for this guy soon enough. Maybe he'll accidentally walk in front of a speeding bus...
#1 STEPHEN A. SMITH
You'd think one minority group would be respectful and aware of other minority groups. But life doesn't work that way for some. There's always a flexing of superiority of one group over another, especially if one minority group doesn't speak English well.
Case in point, Japanese superstar baseball player Sohei Ohtani uses an interpreter when interviewed. But ESPN commentator Stephen A. Smith-- an African-American, struck out with his need to point out that he needs a translator "so you can understand what the hell he's saying." But now, he's sorry. "In this day and age, with all the violence being perpetrated against the Asian community, my comments-- albeit unintentional-- were clearly insensitive and regrettable. As an African-American, keenly aware of the damage stereotyping has done to many in this country, it should've elevated my sensitivities even more. Based on my words, I failed in that regard and it's on me, and me alone." Keenly aware? Go cancel yourself. You know why we're just recently aware of Asian hate? Because Asians don't talk about it. We just go and work our asses off and deal with the ignorance. But now, we live in a world where Asians aren't the "right" minority, facing even more discrimination when it comes to including minorities. So, when some asshat from another minority group wants to disparage us-- go eat a large back of rotting d*cks. We know you're not really sorry. You just don't want to look bad. Don't worry, you won't. You're teflon for all the wrong reasons. P.S. Apparently, the "A" stands for "assh&le".
Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
Offenders for the week ending July 9, 2021:
#3 STEPHEN DORFF
MCU fans don't want you, either, Stephen! In fact, a lot of people are telling him to STFU after he threw shade at Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow flick. He said he felt:
"... embarrassed for her. It looks like garbage to me, like a bad video game." Stephen says he has no interest in ever joining the MCU. Cuz, you know-- standards. He said he'd rather act for the "next Stanley Kubrick" than be entangled with the MCU. The socials took to roasting him, including flaming his movie roles of the past. "Nobody tell Stephen Dorff Blade was a comic book movie" And so much more. Ouch.
#2 WENDY WILLIAMS
She's the rash that won't go away! Always running her mouth. Her target this time? Actress and Influencer Tabitha Brown. After struggling for many years, Tabitha finally "made it". And that means that her husband, who's an LAPD officer, can retire. Because Tabitha wants to now support his dreams and goals as he did hers. Wendy took exception to that, because she (Wendy) was burned before:
"I was married to one of those. 'I make the money' and so on and so forth. 'Go live your dreams! Open a business! go, go go!' See how that turned out." But there's more: "I predict that this marriage is going to be on real rocky ground in a moment. 'Live your dream'... They may invest in stuff and lose the money. They invest in something else then the money gets swindled or stolen. Then they invest again and he comes home and throws his bag down. She's all 'What? What?' And he's like, 'I can't do this and this is your fault. You're over here making your money and stuff and had me quit my job." Whew! That's a colon cleanse of sh&t she's dropping. Not everyone marries a toolbag that takes your money and impregnates his mistress. So, slow your roll. Tabitha is a big girl. By the way, Tabitha handled Wendy with class and a chill smackdown only a Southern lady could deliver. Kudos. Keep drinking the bitter tea, Wendy. Such a wonderful way to live...
#1 NICK CANNON
Somebody's awfully defensive about all his baby-making... Nick has fathered 4 children in less than a year. With different women. And-- it's "intentional". Nick said:
"I'm having these kids on purpose. I didn't have no accident." Let's run down his non-accidents: Nick and Brittany Bell welcomed daughter Powerful Queen in December. In June of this year, he had twins Zion and Zillion with Abby De La Rosa. His newest baby is Zen, with Alyssa Scott and the end of June. He and Brittany already have a 4-year-old-- Golden. And, Nick has 10-year-old twins Monroe and Moroccan with Mariah Carey. I know. I'm sweating, too, and my head hurts. He was chatting with City Girls on their podcast, when he asked them for advice. They told him to wrap it up and protect himself. How dare they! He responded by saying he could've gotten a lot of people pregnant, but he didn't. You're gonna ask someone for advice, and then get pissed because you don't like it? It's because it's the truth. Wrap your willie up and stop reproducing. Unless you plan on buying Rhode Island and letting your offspring live there. At the rate you're going... P.S. Maybe an STD test should happen? P.P.S. George Costanza would be so proud...
Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
Offenders for the week ending July 2, 2021:
#3 COURTNEY LOVE
Just when you think this pimple's been eliminated for good, it pops back up. She's all bent that pop artist Olivia Rodrigo's album cover for Sour is quite similar to Hole's 1994 album cover for Live Through This-- which features a brokedown prom queen. Love tweeted:
"Spot the difference! #twinning!" So damn what!?!? Be grateful a 20-something appreciates your music and knows who you are. Love felt that Olivia should've gotten permission first. Because, you know, manners. From the woman who may have killed Kurt Cobain.
#2 MEGHAN MARKLE
Methinks Meghan possesses a poison poonanie, because once the Former-Prince Harry got a slice, he was never the same. I mean, look at all the tea spilled regarding the Royal Family. And Harry is estranged from his pops and bro? It's like Meghan wanted the benefits and exposure that being royalty could provide, without performing the royal duties. Like Harry couldn't have "escaped" the horrors of privilege pre-Meghan? Riiight.
But it appears that Meghan 2.0 has alienated yet another person-- her bestie. Jessica Mulroney posted this gem: "Life changes. You lose love. You lose friends. You lose pieces of yourself that you never imagined would be gone. And then, without even realizing it, those pieces come back. New love enters. Better friends come along. And a stronger, wiser you, is staring back in the mirror." But it's Jessica's fault for getting dragged into some social media fight, blah, blah, blah... that's why there's a rift. And supposedly Jessica is using their friendship for headlines. This sounds like a familiar accusation... Perhaps Meghan was always a stormy bitchfront...
#1 ALLISON MACK
Saying you're sorry doesn't make everything go away. Especially when you recruited women into the NXIVM sex cult. She claims she was brainwashed, and felt that what she was doing was the right thing-- bringing young women to Keith Raniere so they could be mentored. She released a lengthy statement last weekend ahead of her sentencing yesterday, hoping to garner favor from the court. In part she said:
"... those who have been harmed by my actions, it is now of paramount importance for me to say, from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry.." I'm sure that's true. And I'm sure that she realizes what she did. But... she wants to serve zero jail time. Zero. Why? Because she's a changed person. She's reconnected with her family, works for a catering business, and is pursuing an education at UC Berkeley. So... Good for you. But you aided in the ruining of lives. Even those who cause car accidents that accidentally kill someone still have to answer for that. Zero jail time? Eff you. Fortunately, Allison will spend three years in prison, though it's nearly not enough. She faced 15 years in prison for her misdeeds. Let's see how much time she does, or perhaps she'll skate out of it Cosby-style. This whole thing is disgusting for so many reasons... |
About The SlapI lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;) Archives
October 2022
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed