Offenders for the week of June 22, 2015:
This week our Slapees are assigned self-help books they should read...
"Happy Mother's/Father's/Hamburger Day...."
#3 CAITLYN JENNER
OFFENSE: Confused?
Caitlyn was blowing-up social media, tweeting and posting pictures celebrating Father's Day. So, with the big to-do about your gender re-assignment... what's the deal with celebrating Father's Day? Yes, you fathered several children. But you've been adamant about being addressed as a woman because that is who you are now. Are you going to celebrate Mother's Day? You've asked us to respect your change, so should you. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.
Your Book Assignment: Instead of "Waking Up The Tiger", yours is "Waking Up The Kitty"-- you're a woman now, so let it purr.
OFFENSE: Confused?
Caitlyn was blowing-up social media, tweeting and posting pictures celebrating Father's Day. So, with the big to-do about your gender re-assignment... what's the deal with celebrating Father's Day? Yes, you fathered several children. But you've been adamant about being addressed as a woman because that is who you are now. Are you going to celebrate Mother's Day? You've asked us to respect your change, so should you. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.
Your Book Assignment: Instead of "Waking Up The Tiger", yours is "Waking Up The Kitty"-- you're a woman now, so let it purr.
"Lemme re-title this to Classic Asshat."
#2 DIDDY
OFFENSE: Hot-head
The rapper (is he still a rapper?) is in a heap o' trouble, accused of attacking UCLA Strength and Conditioning Coach Sal Alosi while the dude was on the phone. He claims Coach has an "issue" with his son, Justin, telling the kid to not come back until the end of summer. Diddy confronted Alosi, allegedly swinging a kettlbell at him while dude was on the phone. Diddy's been charged with three counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of making terrorist threats, and one count of battery.
Way to go, Dad of the Year. I get standing up for your kid, but nearly beating someone's ass only gets you in trouble-- especially since this guy never laid a hand on your son. He supposedly was "on his case" about whatever.
Let's change your name from Diddy to Dummy-- because it's accurate.
Your Book Assignment: Instead of "Awaken the Giant Within", yours is "Silence the DBag Within"... or spend time behind bars.
OFFENSE: Hot-head
The rapper (is he still a rapper?) is in a heap o' trouble, accused of attacking UCLA Strength and Conditioning Coach Sal Alosi while the dude was on the phone. He claims Coach has an "issue" with his son, Justin, telling the kid to not come back until the end of summer. Diddy confronted Alosi, allegedly swinging a kettlbell at him while dude was on the phone. Diddy's been charged with three counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of making terrorist threats, and one count of battery.
Way to go, Dad of the Year. I get standing up for your kid, but nearly beating someone's ass only gets you in trouble-- especially since this guy never laid a hand on your son. He supposedly was "on his case" about whatever.
Let's change your name from Diddy to Dummy-- because it's accurate.
Your Book Assignment: Instead of "Awaken the Giant Within", yours is "Silence the DBag Within"... or spend time behind bars.
"This is the face of the World's Biggest Nipple Chunk"
#1 CHARLIE SHEEN
OFFENSE: Vile
Somebody's off his meds, or doin' too much cocaine, or maybe both. He's gone-off, again, on ex-wife Denise Richards. In his most repulsive rant ever, he's taken to social media calling her:
"a heretic and washed up piglet shame pile" "a piece of shit doosh phace" "worst mom alive!"
And those are the kindest quotes. Apparently she may have called him a deadbeat dad, because he referenced in one of his angry tweets that he's given her over $30 million in support for their two daughters.
To me, this woman is a complete saint. Not only has she always taken the high-road with this utter and complete anal boil-- but she even took care of his twin sons with his other ex-wife, Brooke Mueller-- who was unfit to care for her own children.
Though she could've disparaged him easily, she hasn't because it would hurt his children.
Your Book Assignment: Instead of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", yours is (still) "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". The first 7 habits would be shuttin' your big effin' mouth!
OFFENSE: Vile
Somebody's off his meds, or doin' too much cocaine, or maybe both. He's gone-off, again, on ex-wife Denise Richards. In his most repulsive rant ever, he's taken to social media calling her:
"a heretic and washed up piglet shame pile" "a piece of shit doosh phace" "worst mom alive!"
And those are the kindest quotes. Apparently she may have called him a deadbeat dad, because he referenced in one of his angry tweets that he's given her over $30 million in support for their two daughters.
To me, this woman is a complete saint. Not only has she always taken the high-road with this utter and complete anal boil-- but she even took care of his twin sons with his other ex-wife, Brooke Mueller-- who was unfit to care for her own children.
Though she could've disparaged him easily, she hasn't because it would hurt his children.
Your Book Assignment: Instead of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", yours is (still) "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". The first 7 habits would be shuttin' your big effin' mouth!
PHOTO CREDIT:
Caitlyn Jenner https://www.flickr.com/photos/132177716@N08/
Diddy https://www.flickr.com/photos/khanillion/
Charlie Sheen https://www.flickr.com/photos/58638907@N02/
Caitlyn Jenner https://www.flickr.com/photos/132177716@N08/
Diddy https://www.flickr.com/photos/khanillion/
Charlie Sheen https://www.flickr.com/photos/58638907@N02/
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