Offenders for the week ending April 24, 2020:
#3 KRISTEN DOUTE, Castmember, Vanderpump Rules
She might be one of the biggest, hottest messes in all of reality TV. The chick who got fired from her server job at SUR. The chick who attracts volatile, lopsided relationships like flies to a pile crap. The chick who banged her best friend's boyfriend. Classy dame, this one. Even though she's all that, she can't help but throw shade at said best friend (Stassi), and co-best friend (Katie) because they've finally grown tired of her existence.
"Everyone has a right to be themselves. Everyone has their own version of what's cute to them. Their style, their quirks, their compassion, whatever it may be. You know what's NOT cute? Being in your 30s and still being a mean girl. Being that age and being an assh&le. #PumpRules"
You want isn't cute? Anything about YOU. Go pretend to design t-shirts for your t-shirt company and cry to someone who cares. Cue the crickets...
"Everyone has a right to be themselves. Everyone has their own version of what's cute to them. Their style, their quirks, their compassion, whatever it may be. You know what's NOT cute? Being in your 30s and still being a mean girl. Being that age and being an assh&le. #PumpRules"
You want isn't cute? Anything about YOU. Go pretend to design t-shirts for your t-shirt company and cry to someone who cares. Cue the crickets...
#2 The Bachelor, PETER WEBER
After his momma, Barb, became the most famous villain in The Bachelor history by flame-throwing Madison, and after Peter told her to back-it-up-- all on live TV... he's walked-back his passion.
"Listen, my family, in general, they're my rock. l'll defend them till the day I die. I love them more than anything. They truly just want the best for me... I respect the hell out of my mom. To be able to speak her mind and not feel the pressure to cave in to a certain narrative on live television, in front of millions of people... that takes a strong person. That's the love of a mother."
Apparently, when Hannah Ann was face-down in your "cauliflower" (that's what she said his ween is like-- bland and tasteless) she failed to noticed your lack of "raisins". I understand respecting your mom. But there are times when a "helicopter parent" needs... handled. Your one attempt to do so failed. Did she threaten to kick you out of the house? (This pilot for Delta still lives at home!) Not make your favorite Petey dish?
Keep being comfortable having your mom run your life. You'll end up sucking from her teet for life. Wait...
"Listen, my family, in general, they're my rock. l'll defend them till the day I die. I love them more than anything. They truly just want the best for me... I respect the hell out of my mom. To be able to speak her mind and not feel the pressure to cave in to a certain narrative on live television, in front of millions of people... that takes a strong person. That's the love of a mother."
Apparently, when Hannah Ann was face-down in your "cauliflower" (that's what she said his ween is like-- bland and tasteless) she failed to noticed your lack of "raisins". I understand respecting your mom. But there are times when a "helicopter parent" needs... handled. Your one attempt to do so failed. Did she threaten to kick you out of the house? (This pilot for Delta still lives at home!) Not make your favorite Petey dish?
Keep being comfortable having your mom run your life. You'll end up sucking from her teet for life. Wait...
#1 JUSTIN BIEBER
There's nothing like the compassion of an overpaid douchelebrity to make me feel oh-so-better about life... Recently, The Beebs and his wife and Kendall Jenner were all Insta chatting live-- commiserating about this horrid time in quarantine. You know, a time when people are getting sick, some are dying, and many of us common folk losing income. But hey, they feel for us-- especially Dweebs:
"How blessed are we to be able to like... a lot of people obviously in this time have a crappy situation. You know, they look at us and obviously, we've worked hard for where we're at, so, it's like you can't feel bad for the things we have. But I think, just us taking that time to acknowledge that there are people who are really crippling is important."
I don't know how to put this... F&CK OFF! Oh, your "acknowledgement" warms the cockles our of hearts! Thank you for recognizing that we little people have it worse than you. And we know how hard you worked. You did rise up from obscurity. But your wife was born to famous parents. And Kendall was born of privilege, so... Please, girl. We don't have time to hate on your mansions. We have WORK TO DO.
Thanks for the tone-deaf, half-assed Hallmark sentiment, but we'll pass. Don't you have some pubes to go braid or something?
"How blessed are we to be able to like... a lot of people obviously in this time have a crappy situation. You know, they look at us and obviously, we've worked hard for where we're at, so, it's like you can't feel bad for the things we have. But I think, just us taking that time to acknowledge that there are people who are really crippling is important."
I don't know how to put this... F&CK OFF! Oh, your "acknowledgement" warms the cockles our of hearts! Thank you for recognizing that we little people have it worse than you. And we know how hard you worked. You did rise up from obscurity. But your wife was born to famous parents. And Kendall was born of privilege, so... Please, girl. We don't have time to hate on your mansions. We have WORK TO DO.
Thanks for the tone-deaf, half-assed Hallmark sentiment, but we'll pass. Don't you have some pubes to go braid or something?
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