Slap With Me: Maybe They're Crazy!
In the exclusive audio version of this week's slap, we learn how lying to oneself is just so sad... Enjoy!
Sex & The Sh*tty
Offenders for the week ending October 27, 2017:
#3 KIM CATTRALL
Well, f&ck you "Sex & The City!" That's Kimmie's mantra. Yes, totally tinkle on the role that made us all (mostly) forget that you starred in that craptastic piece of fluff from the 80s-- "Mannequin". Maybe she's having a menopausal meltdown, but girlfriend is all angry about SATC and her co-stars:
"We've never been friends... They all have children and I am ten years older, and since specifically, the series ended, I have been spending most of my time outside New York so I don't see them. The common ground that we had was the series and the series is over."
Okay... and apparently, SATC ruined her plans for a family life:
"I thought to myself, Wow, I have 19 hour days on this series, I have weekends where I finish at Saturday morning. My Monday morning would start at 4:45 am and go to one or two in the morning. How could I possibly continue to do that, especially in my early 40s? And then I realized what a commitment it was just to do (IVF). I thought... I don't think this is going to happen."
So the producers of SATC forced you to take the role of Samantha? They made you choose between work and family? Methinks you went for the money grab since your career was bordering on expiration. If the show was such a horrible thing, maybe you should give back all those benjamins that you made. Until then, stop being an insufferable tw%t waffle.
#2 JAMES TOBACK
If you don't know who this dude is, well, he's another Hollywood harassing director accused of Weinstein-ing actresses. How mighty you all are, extorting sexual favors from women who want to have careers, and for men who need to violate women because nobody desires their cocktail weens. Sick. This 'gina donkey has been accused of asking one actress if he could lick her...
Thirty-eight women went on the record about Toback, including Julianne Moore. She was asked to audition in his apartment. Twice. Two-hundred women have shared their encounters with No-Back-- which include allegations of him grinding against them while he was man-handling his Oscar Mayer.
His retort: that it was biologically impossible for him to do any of this because he has a history of diabetic and heart conditions. Riiiight. Those are perfect excuses to try and solicit a sympathy romp. (Vomit)
How gross and pathetic are you? It's apparent you scum snorters do not deserve to breathe our good air!
#1 STEVEN SEAGAL
It's been well-known in Hollywood for ages that the Putin-spooning-former-action-movie-star-and-now-Barney-Fife-sheriff's-deputy was a complete doucherag when it came to women. And now, some audio has surfaced proving that the dude has some serious issues. He hates female reporters, calling them:
"a bunch of f$cking dirty whores and c*cksuckers..."
When asked why he thinks women journalists have treated him unfairly, he said:
"I won't even dare tell you what I think it is.. it was just some dumb c*nt that's a liar and wanted to be sensational."
It's apparent what brains you have are "under siege." When you were actually popular, people would want to know about your life-- including your personal life-- thus, the softball questions. I know. Just. Horrible. But not as horrible as your lame attempts at being a musician, and certainly not as horrible as your rotting, smelly, fossil-c*ck.
I'd love to shove that greasy, cliched ponytail of yours through your pooper and out your disrespectful, filthy mouth.
P.S. Despite your karate training, you'll never be cool enough to be Asian. Stick that in your fortune cookie.
About The Slap
I lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;)