The Cyrus is Spreading

​Offenders for the week ending October 17, 2019:

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#3 MAMA JUNE

You can take the trash out, but it's still trash. This unfortunate reality TV star had it all, except class and common sense, but we digress. She and her loser boyfriend, Geno Doak (or is that D*ck?) have both entered "not guilty" pleas in their crack cocaine possession case. These two starred in the We TV reality series "From Hot to Not." The two didn't show up in an Alabama courtroom, which disappointed the reality TV crew. (Why does she still have a show?)

Anywho... the last time Doak was in court, he shouted a homophobic slur and cussed out a photographer. Why can't this slob-y wench disappear?

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#2 JON GOSSELIN

This dude continues to be an embarrassment to the Korean people, as well as the male gender in general. He's still unhappy with his ex-wife, Kate. I get it. He's not thrilled that Kate continues to film "Kate Plus 8" with their children-- the youngest six are all 15 now. Sure, a judge ruled that filming isn't the best thing for the kids. But methinks Jon protesting isn't because of his love for his children:

"(The network) didn't care. It's really upsetting that big businesses and big corporations go do whatever they want, against a parent's legal right. I do know what (Kate's) capable of, whether it's mental or physical (abuse). I have two kids in my house who left a whole pile of money behind. They left fame and money and came to my house. They left it all behind."

And you left your (steady, high-paying) engineering job to pursue your nightclub-DJ dreams (not-so-steady, maybe a one-time big pile... of money). You can'T support eight kids without a J-O-B. Miss that reality money yourself, don't you?

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#1 CODY SIMPSON AND MILEY CYRUS

Is Miley's bucket list really a f*ckit list-- like, anything that moves? She dumped her lady love for some Oscar Mayer, in the form of Cody Simpson. He says their uglies-bumpin' "wasn't sudden" and "he's very happy." Wasn't Miley recently really happy with what's-her-face? And if this wasn't sudden, then was she cheating on the lady she was cheating on her husband with? Exactly. It hurts your head, no? Cody says:

"We just have a ball (or two-- wink, wink)  and that's the most important part of a relationship. The reason why it's not like... it hasn't been a really crazy sudden thing is we've been friends for so long that when we sort of found each other again in a space where... We both met back in the day when we were partying a lot. We had a lot of fun then... but now we've found each other in a space where we're not partying, working real hard and just like (to) keep things healthy."

But I thought the reason Miley dumped that chick was because it was moving too fast towards commitment? Maybe she just needed to fill the hole... in her heart...

Why does anyone want this hazmat vag? It's not golden. Gooey, maybe...

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