"If this gets 20 million likes Justin Bieber will release an album before Christmas."
Errr... did Justin refer to himself in third person? #douchemove
He's "recently had a burst of creativity" (lucky for us), but said he has no plans of touring cuz he did all that when he was a teenager and hated it. So...
How 'bout if this week's slap list gets a million "likes" you'll leave the U.S. for realzies...
Slap for Teresa: for thinking and speaking out loud that you think Caroline ratted you out to the FBI because she (Caroline) has lived "that dark life". Whatever that means. Stop blaming others for your shizz. Own up to it. Even your probably-gonna-be-ex husband said he knows who ratted and it wasn't Caroline.
Slap for Andy: you should've defended Caroline. She's not a criminal. She's just a truth-preaching bulldog. Your lack of fruit bowl power won't help you woo her back to the franchise.
And now, Meghan accuses her Jim of extra-curricular play time with the nanny. But which one? They have four nannies and an live-in au pair. That's a lot to choose from...
It's hard to feel sorry for you Meghan. Not saying cheating is cool, cuz it's not. But dude has had two other wives? And he's on the road all the time for his job? And he's a former pro athlete?
Now, Jim vows to make things right with Meghan because she's a wonderful woman. How will you make things right? You're incapable.
1 + 1 + 1 = his bat will be a swingin' for the honey fences whenever he gets the chance... And Jim, your on-the-road-former-star-status is not a Pootie Hall Pass.