Offenders for the week of June 8, 2015:
This week we discover which cereals our Slapees love-- and why...
"Be grateful I'm signing this for you, peasant!"
#3 GWYNETH PALTROW
OFFENSE: Self-absorbed
This condescending, elitist snob is whining (again) in a new interview which drew comparisons between herself and other actresses like Jessica Alba, Blake Lively, and Reese Witherspoon because they all run 'lifestyle' brands. Gwynie says the comparison is misogynistic. What? By definition, misogyny is:
"the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification."
Yeah. How is a comparison misogynistic? Comparisons are made all the time, so that one can learn more information or make an informed choice. You don't like comparisons? Well, here are a couple for you: You're like a stinky bitch, snaggle snatch, and a snooty blowhard. Perhaps if you took-up the skin flute, you might not appeared so... weathered. Is that misogynistic?
Gwyneth's cereal of choice: Grape Nuts. Because your face makes me want to "drop some kids off at the pool".
OFFENSE: Self-absorbed
This condescending, elitist snob is whining (again) in a new interview which drew comparisons between herself and other actresses like Jessica Alba, Blake Lively, and Reese Witherspoon because they all run 'lifestyle' brands. Gwynie says the comparison is misogynistic. What? By definition, misogyny is:
"the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification."
Yeah. How is a comparison misogynistic? Comparisons are made all the time, so that one can learn more information or make an informed choice. You don't like comparisons? Well, here are a couple for you: You're like a stinky bitch, snaggle snatch, and a snooty blowhard. Perhaps if you took-up the skin flute, you might not appeared so... weathered. Is that misogynistic?
Gwyneth's cereal of choice: Grape Nuts. Because your face makes me want to "drop some kids off at the pool".
Circa LAST Century: "When I was still a beyotch..."
#2 KATE MOSS
OFFENSE: Entitled
This supermodel did not engage in "model" behavior, as she was removed from an EasyJet flight for being disruptive. The reason? The flight attendants refused to serve her alcohol. Oh, the humanity! Perhaps if you wouldn't live your life like a soused celery stalk, you'd be allowed a social drink or two! It's a shame so-called beautiful people are ugly on the inside.
An aside: Love how this serial tramp was flying on a carrier named EasyJet...
Your next airline should be named: STFU&SITDOWN.
Kate's cereal of choice: Raisin Bran. Because your face, unfortunately, is starting to resemble a raisin. (Back off the partying, would ya?)
OFFENSE: Entitled
This supermodel did not engage in "model" behavior, as she was removed from an EasyJet flight for being disruptive. The reason? The flight attendants refused to serve her alcohol. Oh, the humanity! Perhaps if you wouldn't live your life like a soused celery stalk, you'd be allowed a social drink or two! It's a shame so-called beautiful people are ugly on the inside.
An aside: Love how this serial tramp was flying on a carrier named EasyJet...
Your next airline should be named: STFU&SITDOWN.
Kate's cereal of choice: Raisin Bran. Because your face, unfortunately, is starting to resemble a raisin. (Back off the partying, would ya?)
"Stop call me names." (Said in a Russian accent)
#1 VALERIA LUKYANOVA
OFFENSE: Cray-Cray
The Russian "beauty" became infamous for her multiple surgeries so she could look like a real-life Barbie doll. But now, she's not happy with the nickname "Human Barbie."She said:
"It's a little degrading and insulting, but I'm used to it now... I don't like when people think I am imitating a doll."
Wha? Then stop with the plastic surgery!!! Oh, and she claims she's against Botox and isn't afraid of aging naturally. Right. So, in an effort to re-build her plastic image, she wants to be known as a spiritual leader named Amatue. She claims she has spoken to aliens, and is capable of time travel.
Oh, sure. Apparently all the chemicals from your procedures has seeped into the place where your brain should be.
Human Barbie/Amatue/Cybil's cereal of choice: Cocoa Puffs. Cuz, she's from planet Looney and is apparently "Crazy for CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs."
OFFENSE: Cray-Cray
The Russian "beauty" became infamous for her multiple surgeries so she could look like a real-life Barbie doll. But now, she's not happy with the nickname "Human Barbie."She said:
"It's a little degrading and insulting, but I'm used to it now... I don't like when people think I am imitating a doll."
Wha? Then stop with the plastic surgery!!! Oh, and she claims she's against Botox and isn't afraid of aging naturally. Right. So, in an effort to re-build her plastic image, she wants to be known as a spiritual leader named Amatue. She claims she has spoken to aliens, and is capable of time travel.
Oh, sure. Apparently all the chemicals from your procedures has seeped into the place where your brain should be.
Human Barbie/Amatue/Cybil's cereal of choice: Cocoa Puffs. Cuz, she's from planet Looney and is apparently "Crazy for CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs."
PHOTO CREDITS:
Gwyneth Paltrow https://www.flickr.com/photos/michael_mayer/
Kate Moss https://www.flickr.com/photos/liveu4/
Valeria Lukyanova https://www.flickr.com/photos/evsmitty/
Gwyneth Paltrow https://www.flickr.com/photos/michael_mayer/
Kate Moss https://www.flickr.com/photos/liveu4/
Valeria Lukyanova https://www.flickr.com/photos/evsmitty/
RSS Feed