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Triggered Much?

6/4/2021

 
​Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
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​​Offenders for the week ending June 4, 2021:     


via GIPHY

#3 STASSI SCHROEDER, Former Reality TV Star/Still Tone Deaf and Out of Touch
It's rough when you get fired. Ask us real people, who then have to scramble and hustle to make money-- unlike yourself, Pampered Princess. When Stassi got fired from her Vanderpump Rules gig for racially insensitive social media posts, it was a delicious swig of karma. This gal knows nothing but snark, egomania, and treating others like they're less-than. She was so crushed that she had to cancel her big gender reveal because:

                              "we just weren't in the mood to celebrate in such a big way."

Not in the mood? Perhaps you were more afraid of the potential backlash after stepping in it and getting dragged on the socials. What was that big celebration anyways? Renting a plane to: 

"... fly around Valley Village saying either 'It's a Girl' or 'It's a Boy' so our friends could walk out of their houses, and we could social distance and celebrate."

Thankfully, some baker baked a cake. And that was the reveal, along with a modest social media post. So sorry being racist-ish messed-up your plans. FYI: 99.99999999999% of us could care less what is coming out of your vajayjay.

P.S. Hopefully your daughter will grow up to be a wiser, more aware person than yourself.

via GIPHY

#2 DEMI LOVATO
I was all #TeamDemi as she shared her struggles with body image and addiction. But after social media-shaming an ice cream shop for offering sugar-free flavors and virtue-signaling, I had to walk away from your team. And now, Ms. I'm Gonna Tell You All How to Live is pleading to her fans to stop complimenting weight loss online. Because it triggers her. 

"... complimenting someone on their weight loss can be as harmful as complimenting someone on their weight gain with regard to talking to someone in recovery from an eating disorder. If you don't know someone's history with food, please don't comment on their body because even if your intention is pure, it might leave that person awake at 2 am overthinking that statement."

Whoa. Pump the brakes. Continue working with your therapist. We'll handle our issues if you'll handle yours. By the way-- your triggers are yours to learn to manage. It isn't our job to tiptoe around everybody because something like air can be a trigger.

P.S. Were you "California sober" when you spewed on social media?


via GIPHY

#1 LARSA PIPPEN
Enjoy the only time you'll ever be #1 in anybody's book, and it's because of your classy behavior (said sarcastically.) This over-the-hill, clout coin seeking, homewrecking ho-bag should really keep all her holes shut. After her lover, NBA player Malik Beasley got entangled in her poon of doom, he woke up and realized he erred. He publicly apologized to his wife (Montana Yao, who he kicked out his home along with their 2-year-old son), and asked for forgiveness. 

Sad, but entertaining-- Montana and Larsa traded shots on the socials. But then Larsa had to low blow. Perhaps low-blowing is something she's good at:

"When I thought about him and how he treated your child, he's not the type of man I want around (me). Any man who would deny his child and then leave the mother penniless is not a real man. He cried entirely too much. He's cheap, but then again you never saw any alimony so you already know that."

Is that why things are over? Is it because the great Scottie Pippen (who you're still married to) isn't giving you enough money? Could be the only reason you were gobblin' a man as old as your son... Your dumbass boy toy doesn't want you.  Scottie hasn't wanted you for years. And The Kardashians want nothing to do with you. Ouch.

P.S. Thanks for letting everyone know that you have an OnlyFans account. Maybe you can find a new sucker to suck on there.

Rah Rah Wrong

9/25/2020

 
​Offenders for the week ending September 25, 2020:

via GIPHY

#3 KRISTEN DOUTE, former cast member/Vanderpump Rules
It really sucks when reality bitch-slaps a bitch and removes you from reality TV. Kristen and Stassi Schroeder will no longer make a paycheck from the show, after their false allegations of criminal activity involving an African-American cast member they didn't like backfired in their faces. And past racists comments made on social media added fuel to the fire. Well, Kristen wants the world to know that they weren't fired:

        "They (Bravo TV) chose not to renew our contracts. That was their decision to make."

Girl, that's code for "fired" in the entertainment biz. Terminated. Shown the door. You. Were. Fired. With your lying, skeevy ways, and Stassi's penchant for mean-girlness at every turn, I'd say Karma made a visit. 

Time to become a softcore porn star...

via GIPHY

#2 DINA LOHAN
Love is grand. Especially when it's with a real person. A person that you get to spend time with. Right, Dina? Oh, wait. Your sitch is a little... different. Dina took to the socials to thank her fiancé, Jerry Nadler, for helping her get her mind and body into shape. Because she loves him like she's loved no other. And:

  "No one has ever been such a powerful influence on me and I thank god for bringing me him."


Awwww! Vomit!

Dina and Jesse have known each other for six years, after meeting on Facebook. Oh, did I mention that these two have never been in the same room with each other? They chat and facetime, but they live on separate coasts. Because he supposedly is caring for his mom... Did I mention he mailed her the engagement ring?

Yeah. Catfish-ish true love. And this bimbo has a podcast (named "Listen to Me, OG Mama D)  in which she gives advice, among other things. The only thing she's the OG of is being a complete dumpster fire. 

via GIPHY

#1 JERRY HARRIS, star of the Netflix docuseries "Cheer"
The breakout star of the show is in the hottest of waters, under arrest on production of child pornography charges. Fourteen-year-old twin brothers claim Harris harassed them online and in-person for over a year at cheer competitions when they were 13 and Harris was 19. Varsity Brands, a prominent company within the cheerleading community, reported Harris to police after he allegedly asked once of the twins to have sex with him during two of the company's competitions in 2019. 

Varsity barred Harris from their brand for life. 

Harris claims he's innocent, though he admitted during an FBI interview that he asked one of the teens to send him photos and videos of his junk and backside on Snapchat. 

Okay... 

Disgusting.  What you've done (allegedly) has scarred these boys for life. You're not even good enough to be a used tampon.

Perhaps you'll share a cell with Jared Fogle one day... Cheer(s) to that.

Race-ing

6/12/2020

 
Offenders for the week ending June 12, 2020:

via GIPHY

#3 TERRY CREWS
Since our nation is spinning out of control, why not throw more fuel on the fire? Perfect idea! Terry tweeted:

"Defeating White supremacy  without White people creates Black supremacy. Equality is the truth. Like it or not, we are all in this together."

?

Because revenge is what this is all about? Domination? Not equality? I see you.

If you're not white, you're in this together. Because eliminating white makes it all better. Terry clarified things, though:

"Please know that everything I've said comes from a spirit of love and reconciliation, for the Black community first, then the world as a whole, in hopes to see a better future for Black people."

No mention of white in this tweet... 

Kudos to fellow celebs from the African-American community who questioned him. 

via GIPHY

#2 STASSI SCHROEDER (and Kristen Doute), formerly of Vanderpump Rules
No wonder why we have a growing cancer of mean girl-itist-- because that's what makes you infamous. Stassi is one of the meanest people out there. She has made millions with her diva, better-than-the-room behavior.

There's witty and snarky; And then there's Stassi. 

I don't have enough time to list all of her offensive tweets or recall all the nasty things she has said about her former cast members. The Dead Sea Scrolls are shorter. 

But she's sorry for calling police on a former African-American cast member and accusing her of being involved in a robbery. So funny! But it's all good now that you've posted a black square and are looking within yourself. You'll have more time now that you've been fired from the show that made you famous for no good reason.

via GIPHY

​#1 BRAVO TV
Yes, a "channel" isn't a celebrity, but it has created a lot of Bravo-leberties-- in the form of reality TV.  You've given fame and fortune to people who are mostly idiots. Thanks for firing Stassi and Kristen from VPR. But you should fire yourself because you encourage drama on all your shows, and reward those troublemakers with bigger paychecks. This isn't the first time Stassi has done or said anything racist or mean-spirited. She's the epitome of snark and privilege and bullsh*t. And you've let it go for years because it brings you bank and ratings. You glorify behaviors that most parents raise their children not to engage in. 

You've fired a person after 8 seasons. Bravo-- so to speak. Where were you not so long ago when Stassi bragged on Twitter that she had "Nazi Chic"? Why no conversation with her then? Because you love her unfiltered verbal vomiting. But now, sensitivities are heightened... and now you have a "conscience". Convenient.

Cancel yourself. Since cancel culture is what it's all about. 

Shameful Shes...

1/12/2018

 
Offenders for the week ending January 12, 2018:

We suggest to each slappee a self-help book (if it truly existed) that befits their offense. 
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"I'm really not about the money..."
#3 THE KARDASHIAN FAMILY
I think we all feel the K Klan is a bunch of self-absorbed slut sandwiches. If I had to chose a favorite (please, Sweet Baby Jesus don't hit me with lightning) it would be Khloe. She seems to be the coolest, most real person of the bunch. So let's not pick-on the only one I .000000000000009% like. Khloe isn't like the other gals. She's taller, and therefore, larger by nature. Nothing wrong with that. Unless you're a Kardashian. Her family lovingly said to her:

                       "Khloe, you got to lose weight cause you're really hurting the brand."

Ouch.

     "I understand that was coming from my management side of my family, but it does hurt."

Really, momager Kris? Perhaps your jacked face doesn't help the brand. Unless your brand includes something that induces vomiting. Then you're golden. 

I'd check yourselves, Kardashians. Even though O.J. denies siring Khloe, I wouldn't mess with his now-littler girl. He always has a bunch of Ginsus at his disposal.

Your self-help book: Think and Grow Bitch(es)

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Said while looking in the mirror?
#2 STASSI SCHROEDER
We know you're all reality TV-podcast-social media-famous, so you can get away with anything, right? Well, she's managed to shove another foot in her mouth. 

It's fun taking selfies and posting them with little descriptions. Except when you make a Nazi reference... and you try to make Nazi stuff cool. Like your outfit is "Nazi Chic."

BWAAA HAAAA not.

The social medias tore. Her. Up.

"The problem here is that you live in a spoiled bubble. Things don't offend you because you're extremely lucky awful things haven't happened to you. But for those of us who had family affected by the holocaust, one of the worst things to happen to people, your jokes aren't funny."

She's got the career lifespan of a motherf&cking roach. Ugh.

You're great at soul-less snark, but you suck at being a human. Good luck with that.

Your self-help book: How to Lose Friends and Infuriate People

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"Oh, golly gosh did I say something stupid... again?"
#1 GWYNETH PALTROW
Okay. I'm starting to think she's giving out advice, knowing that it's a stanky pile, just for the negative publicity-- because who gives a shizz about her otherwise? You recall her calling divorce "conscious uncoupling"? You recall her claiming bras cause cancer? And how we ladies should perhaps straddle that veggie steamer with a jade egg in place? Sigh...

We've heard of coffee enemas, but this... THIS is quite different.

                                                        A coffee spritz. In your butt. 

For just $135, you can snag "The Implant O'Rama"! This is what it looks like:
Picture
Yup. A glass jar with some tubes and a squeezy thingy. For Uranus. Hey-- it's good for you!

                                    Promotes: "health, detoxification, and longevity."

Actually, our bodies are made to handle whatever comes down the pike (or is that pipe?), so no caffeine-power-wash is needed.

I hope Starbucks doesn't get into the Tush Espresso biz. Or Rump Roast Blends.

Your self-help book: The Vag Less Traveled (unless it's steamed...)

​PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com

    About The Slap

    I lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;)

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