Offenders for the week of April 27, 2015:
"I'm changed.... for realz...."
#3 JUSTIN BIEBER
OFFENSE: Pushy little princess
Hey, it seems like a cool thing to do--crash a prom over the weekend; make all the kids crazy! Well, Beebs did indeed crash Chatsworth Charter High's prom-- when he promised he wouldn't. See, he's recording a new album at a nearby studio, and had joked how cool it would be to make an appearance. School administrators caught wind and spoke with him, and that's when he said it wouldn't happen.
Oops!
Guess Beebs and his entourage pushed passed security and made their rounds. The kids were diggin' it-- school officials were not. they felt his unwarranted appearance left them unprepared for a potential Bieber Fever outbreak. It's cool that you apparently still have fans, but not cool that you reneged on your word. Apparently, you still do whatever the hell you want to. You've learned nothing. And you're not a changed boy.
And another thing-- you making new music is a sign of Armageddon, isn't it? Wasn't that in Revelations?
In the words of Sara Bareilles: "Who died and made you king of anything?"
OFFENSE: Pushy little princess
Hey, it seems like a cool thing to do--crash a prom over the weekend; make all the kids crazy! Well, Beebs did indeed crash Chatsworth Charter High's prom-- when he promised he wouldn't. See, he's recording a new album at a nearby studio, and had joked how cool it would be to make an appearance. School administrators caught wind and spoke with him, and that's when he said it wouldn't happen.
Oops!
Guess Beebs and his entourage pushed passed security and made their rounds. The kids were diggin' it-- school officials were not. they felt his unwarranted appearance left them unprepared for a potential Bieber Fever outbreak. It's cool that you apparently still have fans, but not cool that you reneged on your word. Apparently, you still do whatever the hell you want to. You've learned nothing. And you're not a changed boy.
And another thing-- you making new music is a sign of Armageddon, isn't it? Wasn't that in Revelations?
In the words of Sara Bareilles: "Who died and made you king of anything?"
"Got ham(s)?"
#2 KIM KARDASHIAN
OFFENSE: Trashy trollop
Kimmie has always maintained that she was faithful while dating and married (for 72 days) to Kris Humphries. But guess what? Liar, liar Spanx on fire! She accidentally outed herself in her book of selfies. See, there was a pic inside featuring her skankiness in New York in some fur coat-- a picture she said she snapped for Kanye. While she was married to Kris.
Maybe she's not a tramp. Maybe she has a beef deficiency and has to consume lots, and lots, and lots of beef to sustain life. Plausible, right?
At this point, she could work for the USDA cuz she sure knows her grades of meat.
In the words of Bell, Biv, DeVoe: "Never trust a big butt and smile."
OFFENSE: Trashy trollop
Kimmie has always maintained that she was faithful while dating and married (for 72 days) to Kris Humphries. But guess what? Liar, liar Spanx on fire! She accidentally outed herself in her book of selfies. See, there was a pic inside featuring her skankiness in New York in some fur coat-- a picture she said she snapped for Kanye. While she was married to Kris.
Maybe she's not a tramp. Maybe she has a beef deficiency and has to consume lots, and lots, and lots of beef to sustain life. Plausible, right?
At this point, she could work for the USDA cuz she sure knows her grades of meat.
In the words of Bell, Biv, DeVoe: "Never trust a big butt and smile."
"Everyone, look at me! Please?"
#1 KRIS JENNER
OFFENSE: Fibster
Kris was very displeased with Diane Sawyer saying that she had no comment about hubby Bruce Jenner's sex change. Because she claims she was never asked. Riiiiiight. A famewhore would only keep her mouth shut why? Because she's embarrassed by Bruce. Maybe that's why she went-off on a expletive-filled tirade on social media about the Bruce-Diane interview sesh.
But in true opportunistic fashion, Kris tried to spin the situation to favor herself. She claims that through all of this Bruce is her "hero". Sorry. No one's buying that bag of B.S.
No wonder Bruce decided to finally make the change. You already took his fun marbles, and you definitely wore the pants in your relationship. He might as well slip on a thong and shimmy on.
In the words of Black Sabbath: "I've seen a look of evil in your eyes/you've been filling me all full of lies/
Sorrow will not change your shameful deeds/Do well best, someone else has better seen/Evil woman/ don't you play your games with me."
OFFENSE: Fibster
Kris was very displeased with Diane Sawyer saying that she had no comment about hubby Bruce Jenner's sex change. Because she claims she was never asked. Riiiiiight. A famewhore would only keep her mouth shut why? Because she's embarrassed by Bruce. Maybe that's why she went-off on a expletive-filled tirade on social media about the Bruce-Diane interview sesh.
But in true opportunistic fashion, Kris tried to spin the situation to favor herself. She claims that through all of this Bruce is her "hero". Sorry. No one's buying that bag of B.S.
No wonder Bruce decided to finally make the change. You already took his fun marbles, and you definitely wore the pants in your relationship. He might as well slip on a thong and shimmy on.
In the words of Black Sabbath: "I've seen a look of evil in your eyes/you've been filling me all full of lies/
Sorrow will not change your shameful deeds/Do well best, someone else has better seen/Evil woman/ don't you play your games with me."
PHOTO CREDIT:
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/hotgossipitalia/
Kim Kardashian https://www.flickr.com/photos/hotgossipitalia/
Kris Jenner https://www.flickr.com/photos/greginhollywood/
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/hotgossipitalia/
Kim Kardashian https://www.flickr.com/photos/hotgossipitalia/
Kris Jenner https://www.flickr.com/photos/greginhollywood/
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