Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Peace Out!

9/21/2018

Offenders for the week ending September 21, 2018:

#3 SCHEANA SHAY, Vanderpump Rules Castmember

I have to hand it to Scheana. She's not shy about being a complete famewhore. She got married, then divorced two years later; gushed about her new BF Rob so much so that she scared him away. And now, she's in love again. Adam Spott is a new cast member, bartender at SUR and the newest hottie for everyone to drool over. Well, is she touching Adam's no-no place?

"You just have to watch next season. We're always together. He's my favorite person to be with."

You tease! Look, I get that you want a man to suffocate with love. But seriously, you need to air that thang out. Or you'll give birth one day to Freddie Krueger, Jr.

#VenusFlySnatch

via GIPHY

#2 TOM ARNOLD

He puts the "ass" in classless. I'm so tired of politics infiltrating every facet of every thing. Tommy boy and producer Mark Burnett have publicly verbally battled about Arnold's upcoming show, The Hunt For The Trump Tapes, in which T-bag hopes to uncover tapes of the President saying racist and non-PC things during his days on The Apprentice. Because that's all Hollywood cares about is finding dirt. Sigh.

Allegedly, Arnold and Burnett got into some kind of physical altercation at a day-before-the-Emmys party. Roma Downey, Burnett's wife, tweeted:

"Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event. Is your TV show worth it Tom? Please stop."

Tom wasn't having any of that:

"Bullsh*t. You lie your crazy husband attacked me you psycho. I'm filing police report & suing you for defamation."

You need to have character to be defamed.

#BackOffTheSauce

via GIPHY

#1 VONTAE DAVIS, former player for the Buffalo Bills

I guess sometimes enough is enough. But at least finish your "work day" before you clean out your locker. Davis up and flat-out retired from the team AT HALFTIME! His former team was losing to the Chargers 28-6. Those must've been magic I-need-to-quit-now numbers. Linebacker Lorenzo Alexander was stunned:

"It's just completely disrespectful to his teammates. He didn't say nothing to nobody. I found out going into the second half of the game. They said he's not coming out, he retired. That's it."

What did Vontae have to say?

"This isn't how I pictured retiring... but today on the field, reality hit me fast and hard. I shouldn't be out there anymore. I meant no disrespect to my teammates and coaches."

Not how you pictured it? Uh, you have control over your actions. You could've retired a million other ways. Douchetae said he didn't want to "keep sacrificing" over a long season. Last I checked, the pro football season is 16 games. So, if you do the math ahead of time there are 16 GAMES! Should've bowed out at the beginning. Before game one. It's unfair to everyone. And selfish. You couldn't wait 30 more minutes to quit?

#QuittersNeverWin

0 Comments

Pound-Her-Rosa

8/17/2018

0 Comments

Offenders for the week ending August 17, 2018:

via GIPHY

#3 ISAIAH THOMAS

Somebody is letting his inner douche flag fly high. The Denver Nuggets "star" went live on the Insta naming all the cities he's played for and what he thought about them. He said he totally understands why Lebron left Cleveland, because:

"Cleveland was a sh*thole."

Like your mouth? Well, he recanted:

"Cleveland wasn't that bad... Cleveland was actually cool, it was all right. The situation wasn't the best..."

Cry me a river. You got to play ball with LeBron. Get. Over. It.

Isaiah who?

via GIPHY

#2 KANYE WEST

He definitely has his own special brand of loco going on. In his latest track, "XTCY," Kanye shares his desire to "smash" his SILs. Not "bash" or "hit," unless those words also convey the desire to bump uglies:

"You got sick thoughts? I got more of 'em/You got a sister-in-law you would smash? I got four of them."

Vurp.

I'm sure the gals are okay with this? Your WIFE? I mean, recognizing your relatives are attractive is one thing. Feeling (in your loins) that a relative is "bangable" is, well, vomitous.

FYI: You're gonna get BPA poisoning with all those plastic vageens.

via GIPHY

#1 OMAROSA

I've always believed this ass skank was one of the most vile creatures on this planet. And she proves me correct again with her latest stunt. I really don't know why this ball beater was ever hired to work at the White House, but that's not the gist of this analysis.

This reality TV show hack worked for 11-months within the most prestigious home in the world, was fired, then decided to write a book chronicling the "truths" of the Trump White House. She made the TV show rounds to pimp her slut, playing secret recordings and making all kinds of claims. Just like everyone else making claims.

Aside: if the President is a known racist, why would you-- of a non-white heritage-- want to work for someone who allegedly loathes you?

So sorry your book isn't a best-seller-- not. I think it's because people can see through your big ol' shade tree for the actual truth-- you got your shizz together enough to get hired, with the intent on slithering in like a snake, eating bodies whole, to gather "intel" for your let's-turn-this-book-into-a-movie-product-tv-show-moneymaker.

#FAIL

I disagree with the President calling you a dog. Because dogs are loving and loyal. You're just a psycho opportunistic assh&le.

Girl, bye!

0 Comments

Stormy Weather

3/30/2018

0 Comments

Offenders for the week ending March 30, 2018:

"I'm a loser jackass..."

#3 KEVIN FEDERLINE

Congrats on turning 40 and spending your entire life being a paid-for-dick. Because you are a dick. And not even a good dick at that. But you did manage to wang Brittney Spears so, you're at minimum a lucky dick.

K-F*ck, who's seeking more child support from Brit (because 20 grand a month isn't enough for two kids), decided to throw himself a blowout birthday bash in Vegas. I'm sure he paid for it with his own cash. Speaking of cash, that was the name of his bash-- CASH. Nice subtle message when you're trying to get more money. What a douche. At least he donned his best sweatpants and sweatshirt and dragged his wifey to the V.I.P. section for bottle service. Did I mention his party was at The Crazy Horse III gentleman's club?

Classy.

But the topper was his birthday cake designed with stacks of $100 bills printed with his face. He was quite pleased:

"This is the dopest cake I've ever seen."

Why couldn't you have hyperventilated into oblivion when you blew out the candles?

Back when he had fitness... not FATness...

#2 ALBERT BELLE

You never fooled us. You've always been bad-boy Joey Belle. Guess who got busted while spring training was wrapping up in Arizona? This pathetic excuse for a man. More known for his violent outbursts and temperament than his ball playing, Al was arrested for DUI and indecent exposure.

According to witnesses, Al pulled his pants down and was tinkling behind the front door of his car. A woman who saw his bare butt voiced her disgust, to which Albert responded (allegedly):

"Don't look then. If you gotta go, you gotta go."

Then, a father and his daughter were equally less than pleased, to which Albert responded by shaking his fruit bowl at the family.

Is that a corked bat, or are you just happy to see us?

Ick. Keep your jiggly Jell-o ring mold to yourself.

"DUH... DUH... DUH..."

#1 STORMY DANIELS

This ho hurricane really needs to stick a plug in all her holes. So, if we're to believe you banged the President before he was president why are you speaking out now? If you weren't a victim and chose to play the skin flute-- who cares? How convenient that you decided now to forgo your NDA and that whopping $130,000 alleged hush payment and share with the world what a wonderful example you are for women.

Yawn.

I really couldn't give two balls about who's in bed with whom before they become President. I do care about a president getting his knob polished while on the phone with a foreign dignitary while in the Ov(r)al Office. Wait... that did happen.

So, you admitted that you weren't physically attracted to Mr. Trump, but you rode that pony anyways because you might be cast on Celebrity Apprentice and further your pristine career. You even allegedly said you knew you'd never get cast because of your porno life, yet you still bumped uglies anyways. Hhhhmmmm.

It's time for this storm to dissipate.

PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com

0 Comments

Ginger-gagus!

6/2/2017

0 Comments

Offender for the week ending June 2, 2017:

It's happened again. The slap dedicated to one repulsive douchebag. And that douchebag is...

"So this is where I should shove my career?"

THE OFFENDER OF THE WEEK: KATHY GRIFFIN

But before we get to Mizz Nasty-Ass, here are some peeps that would've made the list:

3. Jayden Smith: Being quirky is cool. Being a weirdo is not. You're the not. Go away.

2. Former Denver sports writer Terry Frei who tweeted that he was uncomfortable that a Japanese man won the Indy 500. Well, we're uncomfortable that you're breathing our good air.

Now, let's get down to business. I admit it; I've never been a huge fan of this broad. But, I did find her stand up act a few years ago slightly amusing. Then, this. Kathy decided to do a photo shoot with an extremely realistic, bloodied, decapitated head of President Trump. Hilarious! So funny, in fact, that his 11-year-old son shouted out for his mother because when he saw the photo, he thought it was real.

Interestingly enough, people on both sides of the political pendulum were disgusted. Kathy was stunned. She had no idea this would happen. So, she made a public apology. And quite frankly, her apology is straight-up bullsh*t:

"I'm a comic. I cross the line. I move the line, then I cross it. I went way too far. The image is too disturbing. I understand how it offends people. It wasn't funny. I get it. I beg your forgiveness. I went too far. I made a mistake and I was wrong."

1. You're not sorry. There was nothing heartfelt about it. You did it to do it. And that may be part of your plan. See #2.

2. You intended this outcome. You hired a known controversial photographer (Tyler Shields). You knew exactly what that photo would do. Were you feeling the need for attention? Regardless of your intent, you've earned everything coming your way. This wasn't a "mistake" as you claim. It was calculated.

3. MOST IMPORTANTLY: we live in a world where people hate us. Those that are not radicalized terrorists don't see us as human. We are the enemy. No amount of love will change a philosophy and such a deep, deep hatred. Plus, many Americans have been beheaded. Are you saying this is acceptable?

For those crying "censorship", get over it. She was never censored. She said what she wanted to-- which is the beauty of the country we live in. BUT there are consequences. I know, many people don't realize that there are actual consequences nor do they suffer any, so they spew.

And for the record: threatening the President of United States is a Class E felony under United States Code Title 18. In part: knowingly and willfully mailing or otherwise making 'any threat to take the life of, to kidnap, or to inflict bodily harm upon the President of the United States"-- including presidential candidates and former presidents.

This is not a First Amendment issue. You have freedom of speech... see above.

No matter your political view, the office of the presidency should be respected. You may not agree with the person holding that office, but if we call for the assassination of our leader (whether in jest or not) it weakens our nation. It weakens our own self, and makes us look like a bunch of childish, petty, whiny assh*les. Awesome.

And to add insult to injury-- you went for the low-hanging fruit. It's easy to make fun of this presidency. How about generic political jokes we all can laugh at? Or even better-- write some original material!

PHOTO CREDIT:
GIF www.giphy.com

0 Comments

Peace Out!

Pound-Her-Rosa

Stormy Weather

Ginger-gagus!

About The Slap

Archives

Categories