Offenders for the year ending 2018:
Your weaknesses include: indecision; a lack of balls; poor self-evaluation; easily persuaded; and believing you're own bullsh*t. You're a knee-jerk reactor and a jerk in general. Perhaps you should next study under a magician since you're good with smoke and mirrors.
I do want to give you props for being an excellent binge-drinker, party animal, airhead, "company man" and all-around ass clown. I can respect an outright assh&le. It's the covert ones like you that pretend to care that make my skin crawl. Hope that selling your soul to the Devil was worth the vajay-jay you now have in the place of what I assume would've been your snack-size sausage link.
P.S. Perhaps you should be a tad more discreet when gettin' some "strange". Everyone knows!
Since we've established that he has an MIA "fruit bowl", the two of you must be on an archaeological dig. All that surveying has curried you favor. Perhaps silly putty-titties and the disposition of a rabid badger are "en vogue." If so, you've got style for the ages. Otherwise, you're a pathetic excuse for a human being.
"Oh, no. There goes Canton, OH. Go, go, C*ntzilla!"
Ode to the Un-Woke
You should've taken notes when I tried to teach you
But you didn't care, so let the beasts eat you.
Chirping like a bird to your mother hen
To hatch your plan-- but how did it end?
You're not a star (please);
You don't matter (ha-ha).
There is no happily-ever-after... for you.
A tool, a fool who chose to deceive.
In you no one can believe.
Because to you all men are bad
And they're out to get you (or get with you)
Thanks to your issues with dad.
What you don't know is that you're... sad
And fake and a little lazy.
You should've earned it.
And not burned it,
Mizz Mother F*ckin' Crazy.
Happy New Year to *all* of yous...