Offenders for the week ending July 28, 2017:
"Be healed!"
#3 JUSTIN BIEBER
This is a left cheek-right cheek double-slappy.
First, Beebs has cancelled the rest of his tour. Guess it's too difficult for him to muster up the strength to finish his last 14 shows. By the way, he only does ONE show per week. Exhausting. I get it. This young fella has been recording and performing almost non-stop since he was discovered. There have been stories of him crying, begging his handlers to let him sleep. Finish what you start! What about the other performers on your tour that don't make as much as you and depend on a paycheck. Are you paying them for your flake out?
Second, Beebs cancelled because he wants to get back in touch with his spirituality and because he's planning on starting his own church. Yes. His. Own. Church. I respect his desire to get back to the New Testament. He was raised in church, and having a strong foundation is good. But... starting a church? So. Many. Questions. Is he going to preach? What would be call him? The Reverend Beebs? Will his followers then truly be "Belibers?"
The worship music would be interesting, though...
First, Beebs has cancelled the rest of his tour. Guess it's too difficult for him to muster up the strength to finish his last 14 shows. By the way, he only does ONE show per week. Exhausting. I get it. This young fella has been recording and performing almost non-stop since he was discovered. There have been stories of him crying, begging his handlers to let him sleep. Finish what you start! What about the other performers on your tour that don't make as much as you and depend on a paycheck. Are you paying them for your flake out?
Second, Beebs cancelled because he wants to get back in touch with his spirituality and because he's planning on starting his own church. Yes. His. Own. Church. I respect his desire to get back to the New Testament. He was raised in church, and having a strong foundation is good. But... starting a church? So. Many. Questions. Is he going to preach? What would be call him? The Reverend Beebs? Will his followers then truly be "Belibers?"
The worship music would be interesting, though...
"My milkshake brings all the hoes to the yard..."
#2 KEVIN HART
Just call him: Daddy Cheater. While his wife is preggo, Kevin's makin' nice with some trampola. Mr. Funnyman was caught canoodling inside his luxury ride with a hot brunette outside a Miami hotel. Of course, he's trying to play it off like it's social media's fault. Haters gonna hate, right? It has nothing to do with your track record of cheating... See, Kevin got divorced the first time because he was cheating on her with the woman that would become Wife #2 and the mother of his children. Methinks this is just a bit of karma coming back around to all the players involved:
"He who cheats with you will cheat ON you."
Not only is cheating repulsive, but cheating while your wife is carrying your child is, like, 100 times worse.
Pro tip: Cars have windows. No matter what time of day or night, or how discreet you think you are-- WE CAN SEE YOU!
"He who cheats with you will cheat ON you."
Not only is cheating repulsive, but cheating while your wife is carrying your child is, like, 100 times worse.
Pro tip: Cars have windows. No matter what time of day or night, or how discreet you think you are-- WE CAN SEE YOU!
"Hey, Boo boo. I'm tossin' somethin' itchy ur way..."
#1 USHER
Ur-sher is making 'em blister. Gag. I used to find you lovable. We all felt compassion for you when you publicly admitted years ago that your philandering ways made TLC's Chili break it off with you. Then, you married that hideous lecherous She-Ra and had a child with her-- and we wanted you to open your eyes to her true ways. You did. But you need to stop opening your fly. For. Realz. A woman is suing him for $10 million dollars in an "unprotected sex" suit. Because girlfriend alleges she was exposed to herpes because of him. She claims the two engaged in heavy petting, she decided to play the "skin flute," then that led to full-on muffin-meets-fruit bowl time-- with protection. But 12 days later, the two rendezvoused again, sans raincoat... and... she's not infected, yet.
What? See, she's concerned because she learned via news reports that Oozer admitted to having Herpes Simplex 2. And she never would've gone to Pleasure Town with him had she known this in advance. Plus, he previously paid a woman $1.1 million for infecting her.
Usher, is this "Confessions Part 3"? I'm about to slap you after I put this hazmat suit on...
What? See, she's concerned because she learned via news reports that Oozer admitted to having Herpes Simplex 2. And she never would've gone to Pleasure Town with him had she known this in advance. Plus, he previously paid a woman $1.1 million for infecting her.
Usher, is this "Confessions Part 3"? I'm about to slap you after I put this hazmat suit on...
PHOTO CREDIT:
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