In the exclusive audio version of this week's slap, we learn how lying to oneself is just so sad... Enjoy!
Offenders for the week ending December 08, 2017:
#3 NANCY ALSPAUGH
Nancy who? Well, She's better known as Matt Lauer's first ex wife (cuz I'm thinkin' he's about to receive a second ex wife.)-- and she totally supports him!
"I was shocked because he's been such a stalwart at that network and in that job..."
Look, it has nothing to do with the job he did. It's the "job"... he got.
"I couldn't imagine that anything that he would have done-- that would have been so out of character for him-- that would have caused that reaction."
I get it. This is not the Matt you know. But he didn't start working at NBC until the 90s-- well after you two called it quits. And I find it hard to believe a skeezy perv wasn't always a skeezy perv.
Regardless, she "100%" supports him. Well, you're 100-percent wrong. Like your ex.
#2 KENYA MOORE
Our second delusional offender is finally a housewife. The Real Housewives of Atlanta star finally married someone and is completely caught-up in wedded bliss. Yup, she's so crazy in love that she forgot she owes the IRS over $6,000 in unpaid taxes.
Oopsie. What are doing with all that housewives money, girlfriend?
Spending it on decorations for that hideous home you endearingly call "Moore Manor." Thanks for sharing pics of you and the hubs getting ready for the holidays. Hopefully, he paid for it since your credit card is about to get declined.
Priorities. Just because you're a pseudo-celebrity doesn't mean you don't need to pay taxes like the rest of us.
Maybe you have tax issues because that money went to pay for your "husband" stunt...
#1 MELANIE MARTINEZ
So getting rid of men will solve this whole harassment problem, right? The singer is accused of sexual assault by her former BFF who claims she repeatedly refused Melanie's advances.
Timothy Heller is a female L.A.-based aspiring singer who said "The Voice" star assaulted her:
"I have kept this secret for years, convincing myself that it wasn't a big deal and I wasn't hurt by it. The thought of accepting that my best friend raped me seems insane."
Heller claims she was assaulted during the worst time frame of her life-- and while she was sleeping:
"(Melanie performed) oral sex on me and then I was penetrated with a sex toy without being asked.. she knew I didn't want to, I made that clear."
So how did Melanie respond?:
"(Heller) never said no to what we chose to do together."
What in the AF!?!? A sleeping person can't say "yes" or "no", you Juice Bucket!
Worst. Excuse. Ever. Smellanie Whoretinez.
About The Slap
I lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;)