Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Shady Lady(?)

5/25/2018

Offenders for the week ending May 25, 2018:

There were so many toolbags this week, that I had to pick an honorable mention. Congrats KEVIN FEDERLINE. Britney Spears' second ex-husband and father of her two children won't let go of his petition for more child support. Now he wants what amounts to $2,000 a day. Because it's not fair when the children visit, they're forced to be all crammed into his little postage stamp-sized home. Oh, and he has no job-- except for DJ-ing in clubs. (Then get another job!)

On to our Top 3 Offenders...

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#3 KENDRICK LAMAR

Methinks this was a setup. At a recent show, Ken-dick invited a white gal up on stage to sing his song M.A.D.D. City with him. A few lines into it, he stopped the show to chastise her for singing all the lyrics-- which include the "n" word. I thought there'd be cries of "cultural appropriation", but no. Instead, overwhelming support of his victim. His fans are p*ssed off at HIM.

"The biggest setup ever... SMH... He knew what he was doing. Ruined her life all over social media. She's gonna have to live with the video of people being mad forever."

Love it. You're such a fanny wipe. That gal was a fan of yours. Imagine being called on stage to perform with your favorite artist? Then to have it ruined by your douchebaggery! She didn't see your color, but you saw hers. Hypocrite.

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#2 R. KELLY

This f&ck licker has a very high opinion of himself and his place in musical history. They way he talks, you'd think he was Michael Jackson or Prince. And, he's above the law. Captured on video, R rants about his music being banned on streaming services in light of a litany of sexual allegations against him. FYI: he believes those women should've told authorities years ago because he's "untouchable":

You're so right. You're a musical icon. So go on raping underage girls, keeping women enslaved in your various homes, and believing your jacked-up fairy tale.

You're such a disgrace to the human race.

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I loathe a lot of things. A backhanded-ho is on example. Right after the Royal Wedding and pre-American Idol finale, Katy and her fellow judges were interviewed about all kinds of stuff. When asked about Meghan Markle and the wedding, Katy wasn't as classy as the new Duchess of Sussex. She started out with sweet sentiment:

"I'm so happy for them... it's amazing what she's doing with all this, her humanitarian efforts... you know, the fact that she's a proud feminist, I love all that. I support her as another woman and love her and wish them both well."

Then she threw the shade. Take a listen:

Bitch, please. You "love and support" Meghan, but you couldn't resist taking a stab at her style. As I recall, you're the classy dame that shot whipped cream from her bra...

I'm surprised you were even able to speak with John's (Oscar) Mayer in your caboose, Orlando's Bloom in your womb, and Ryan Seacrest sniffing for a safe landing on the Haty Highway.

She Wrong

5/18/2018

Offenders for the week ending May 18, 2018:

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#3 KENDRA WILKINSON

The Playboy Playmate and reality TV star has finally left her husband of nine years, Hank Baskett. The ups-and-downs of their relationship, and his cheating on her with a transvestite was chronicled on Kendra on Top. What would be your first concern after a breakup? The care of the children? Where to live? Well, with Kspot-- it's all about her... needs... which she asked her fans about on social media.

"What's your opinion... do I start dating/sex now or give myself more time? My heart is broken but I have needs. Lmaooooo"

I think she's more "twatbroken" than anything else. Anywho, she only filed for divorce last month.

Let that thang breathe, girl. The Hank Stank ain't even out of there yet and you want to invite another depositor? Gross.

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#2 DORINDA MEDLEY & LUANN DE LESSEPS

I get keeping up with the joneses, but this is sad. These two Real Housewives of New York City cast members are fighting over who the biggest drunk is. For real. Because that's a crown we all want to wear. The show has chronicled Dorinda's growing affection for alcohol. This chick is all-or-nothing when it comes to the libations. Like, slur-your-words-that-you-need-subtitles-fight-your-grandma-drunk. A recent episode features a drunk and belligerent Dorinda embarrassing herself in front of some VIPs. Eek. So, fellow boozer and cop-assaulter Luann thought she'd call her out for her misbehavior. Dorinda flamed back:

"Dear @CountessLuann are we to take advice from a pal who got so wasted she punched her then husband in the middle of restaurant, followed by assaulting a law enforcement officer? Then jail? You almost gotta love the complete lack of self awareness."

Well, at least the Countess went to rehab while you're still in denial. Why don't the two of you just drunkenly kiss and make out and become bottle besties.

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#1 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

A man cheats on you. Very publicly. While you're pregnant with his baby. What would you do? Take him back, of course! Despite the speculation that her baby-daddy-bf Tristan Thompson "drove the lane" with five different women, Khloe is standing by her man. And she made that very public on social media:

"It's all about who you look for in a crowded room. That's where your heart belongs to."

That's sweet. Well, your heart belongs to him, but his wang belongs to every "taco truck" out there.

Meanwhile, the Khardasian Klan is less-than-pleased with Khloe. They don't support her decision and haven't visited her in Cleveland in weeks. I ethically can't side with the Kardashians, but I must say-- open your eyes (not thighs), girlfriend. You may think you're doing what's best for your family, but this pair of c*ck lips has another child with another lady. Don't think keeping him close is gonna spark some devotion.

And, if your Kardashian Kurse ruins the playoff run of our beloved Cavaliers... I'll buy your ticket and pack your funbags for you!

Double Standard

5/11/2018

Offenders for the week ending May 11, 2018:

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#3 THOMAS RAVENEL

In case you don't know, this former state treasurer is a cast member of the Bravo reality TV show Southern Charm. The reason he's a former state treasurer is because he went away on a federal drug conviction. And trust me, there is nothing charming about this f*ck waffle. He has a nasty case of "wandering wang disease" and has never seen a "pink taco" he didn't want to get a handful of.

The 55-year-old is most infamous for twice impregnating his 25-year-old toxic on-again-off-again lover, Kathryn Dennis. Well, he's making headlines again-- this time accused of meeting a woman on Tinder in 2015 and sexually assaulting her. The alleged victim's daughter had this to share:

"(My mother) told me that he grabbed her by the wrist and held her down. He then proceeded to pull his penis out... She said 'no' and then he shoved his fingers inside of her..."

Mom didn't report the assault because he's powerful. And has a lot of money. The woman settled and agreed to zip it. Which is what this "cookie jar" burglar needs to do. Grow up; act like a true gentleman; quit dating your granddaughters; and... concentrate on raising your children, Rape-enel!

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#2 DRAKE

What do you have to say now, Drakey-poo? Your boys got swept by the Cavs. BWAA HAAA HAAAA! Anywho, the NBA the the Toronto Raptors organization have reprimanded him for his verbal altercation with our own Kendrick Perkins during Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals in Toronto. Why is this a problem? Drake is the global ambassador for the Raptors, so you kinda need to keep your shizz in line.

Drake and Perkins started trading jabs at halftime.

"What happened was I was talking to my old teammate Serge walking into halftime telling him 'We about to win this game.' and Drake butted in talking sh*t to me. So I said something back to him."

At the end of the game (the Cavs won in OT) Drake allegedly called Perkins a "f*cking p*ssy."

Drake would know what a meow meow is. Mr. Scaredy-Cat-Commitment-Phobe. Being a famous rapper you can't come up with a better insult? Sad.

Well, at least you're good at putting the "ass" in ambassador.

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#1 DJ KHALED

Somebody dug up an old interview with this dude. So what. Well, the "who-ha" is over comments he made about his lack of desire. Of "orating" on the ladies... if you're feelin' what I mean. See, Khaled is "the king" and while his wife is "the queen", he's not down with going down. Take a listen:

Let's clarify. He wants you to be into woodwinds, but he won't play the ocarina. Douchebag.

What about yin and yang; give and receive; goose and gander? The internets fellated, I mean, filleted Mr. No Munch. Proving why The Rock is forever awesome, Dwayne Johnson commented:

"Ahem... *clears throat* as a man, I take great pride in mastering ALL performances. This is probably a little TMI..."

Don't knock it 'til ya try it, Khaled. It's never to late to learn and it doesn't make you any less of a man, you fool.

So, open yo mouth wide and become a linguist...

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

5/4/2018

Offenders for the week ending May 4, 2018:

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#3 RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO

This 'roided-up overtly spray-tanned nut jockey is the epitome of classless. (Un)fortunately, there is no better reality TV show fodder than hot messes in a toxic relationship. Enter Ronnie. The Jersey Shore: Family Reunion cameras captured Ronnie questioning if he wanted a relationship with Jen Harley-- the woman who just gave birth to his child-- and, his ever-wandering ween. But we're just getting started. A social media war ensued between these two lovelies:

Ronnie: "Can't turn a natural born HOE into a HOUSEWIFE."

Jen: "Can't turn a coke head into a father! Yeahhh buddy."

First of all, baby momma, you accepted his "deposit", so.... Second, these two reproduced. Poor child. Well, Daddy RonBag is sorry for accusing his "girlfriend" of cheating.

"I want to apologize for earlier to my fans, and especially @tater-to-kitty I acted on my gut and not rationally. I should've never acted in a such a manor. My deepest apologies."

Why can't there be a shark attack on the Jersey Shore?

P.S. Tater to kitty?
P.P.S. It's "manner" not "manor."

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#2 MATT LAUER

Oh, goodie! Matt Prowler has broken his months-long silence over those sexual harassment allegations against him. And he's been WRONGED!

"I have made no public comments on the many false stories from anonymous or biased sources that have been reported about me over these past several months. I remained silent in an attempt to protect my family from further embarrassment and to restore a small degree of the privacy they have lost. But defending my family now requires me to speak up. I fully acknowledge that I acted inappropriately as a husband, father and principal at NBC. However I want to make it perfectly clear that any allegations or reports of coercive, aggressive or abusive actions on my part, at any time, are absolutely false."

Riiiight. As we've seen Mr. Pudding Poop Cosby, a predator's reality is not everybody else's. So (allegedly) whipping out the wang to a co-worker was merely an innocent way of asking if there were any cream sticks in the commissary? And offering sex toys to co-workers was really just a white elephant party idea gone awry?

Thanks for "speaking out". Now go away.

You must be Egyptian, cuz you're livin' in denial. Fool.

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#1 KANYE WEST

Just when Ye might be making a wee bit of sense, he goes and opens his mouth... again. Even though you've gotten a steamy pile over your comments about free-thinking and support of our President, you really stepped in it when you commented about slavery. Being a choice.

"When you hear about slavery for 400 years-- for 400 years? That sounds like a choice. Like, you was there for 400 years and it's all of y'all? It's like we're mentally in prison."

I get what you meant. But your thoughts don't flow nearly as well as your rhymes. Sigh. Well, a TMZ reporter named Van got into a verbal scuffle with Yeezy:

Now let's address Kanye's new song called "Lift Yourself". A song. About poop?

"But they don't really realize, though.
This next verse, this next verse, though?
These bars?
Watch, this some shit go:
Poopity scoop
Scoop di-di whoop!
Whoopty di-di scoop poop!"

The urban Dr. Seuss needs to zip it.

Shady Lady(?)

She Wrong

Double Standard

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

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