Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!
Offenders for the week ending April 9, 2021:
#3 REGE-JEAN PAGE
Oh, Rege. You've broken a million hearts with your announcement that you won't be returning for season 2 of Bridgerton. Yes, you felt as if you "stuck the landing" with the first season (there's more "sticking" we want from you, wink wink.) But you were being offered $50-thousand an episode for three episodes. Granted, I highly doubt you would've been shirtless or naked in those episodes (we can dream), but... what's my point? Oh. Take the damn money. And take your clothes off. You should be allowed to walk around naked at all times. I don't even know why I'm spanking you, errr, slapping you. Oh, because you're denying us your fine-ness. That's why.
#2 LARSA PIPPEN
This hurricane of drama has decided to step away from drama because it's too much to handle. HA HA HA HA! Yes. This still-married to Scottie Pippen revolving-door-for-wiener has ended her relationship with Malik Beasley-- who was also married. And is young enough to be Larsa's son. Gag. A source said:
"He was going through a lot and the time wasn't right."
The timing wasn't right? Going through a lot? Like him kicking his wife and toddler out of their home for your ass? You were okay posting Insta pics of the two of you holding hands way back in November and clapping-back at people for calling you out for your sus behavior. And then you got all righteous telling people that they didn't know the truth, and that love is love.
The truth is: There's no wiener you'd turn down. And, you live your life with so much drama that the Kardashians don't want anything to do with you. The Kardashians!!!! Who are all about staying in our faces!!!! What does that tell you? That you're beyond messy.
P.S. Poor Malik. He's lost his wife and now his ho. BWAAAA HAAAA HAAAAA!
"He was going through a lot and the time wasn't right."
The timing wasn't right? Going through a lot? Like him kicking his wife and toddler out of their home for your ass? You were okay posting Insta pics of the two of you holding hands way back in November and clapping-back at people for calling you out for your sus behavior. And then you got all righteous telling people that they didn't know the truth, and that love is love.
The truth is: There's no wiener you'd turn down. And, you live your life with so much drama that the Kardashians don't want anything to do with you. The Kardashians!!!! Who are all about staying in our faces!!!! What does that tell you? That you're beyond messy.
P.S. Poor Malik. He's lost his wife and now his ho. BWAAAA HAAAA HAAAAA!
#1 CHER
I can't believe this relic is still relevant. Well, she's not but you can't blame an old girl for trying. Because her fossilized heart was so full of emotion, she had to verbally vomit to the world that she would've prevented George Floyd's death had she been at the scene.
BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA!
Does she even know where Minneapolis is? She tweeted that she'd been talking to her mom and crying while watching the Derek Chauvin trial and said to her:
"Mom, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I kept thinking, maybe if I'd been there, I could've helped."
Yup. Crazy. Is the air in Hollywood different than our air? Because all these celebrities sound completely crazy. What in the af would you have done? Assaulted a police officer? Shimmy down a naval ship gun in g-string Depends? Thanks, oh mighty half-white privileged out-of-touch celebrity for swooping down and saving all of us minorities!
Is there any way we can get you to Sonny Bono yourself outta here?
BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA!
Does she even know where Minneapolis is? She tweeted that she'd been talking to her mom and crying while watching the Derek Chauvin trial and said to her:
"Mom, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I kept thinking, maybe if I'd been there, I could've helped."
Yup. Crazy. Is the air in Hollywood different than our air? Because all these celebrities sound completely crazy. What in the af would you have done? Assaulted a police officer? Shimmy down a naval ship gun in g-string Depends? Thanks, oh mighty half-white privileged out-of-touch celebrity for swooping down and saving all of us minorities!
Is there any way we can get you to Sonny Bono yourself outta here?
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