Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Twin Pricks

11/4/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending November 4th, 2022:

Here's a duo of "DUH!" this week...

RUNNER-UP: PETE DAVIDSON

I don't think Petey can blame Kanye for this latest incident of bad behavior. His ass was put in time out after suffering a meltdown on the set of his tv show "Bumpus." What *allegedly* happened? Dude flew into a rage in his trailer, damaging a TV, throwing coffee everywhere.

No word on what caused his break, but he's due back to the set shortly.

Dude needs to call his therapist for anger management tips. There's nothing wrong with doing that! I'm sure his co-workers are so glad to be working with him.

That Big Dick Energy he has now means something totally different...

#notdelightful

via GIPHY

WINNER: NICK CANNON

Baby #12 is on the way. Twelve. It's good news for Alyssa Scott, whose 5-month-old son with Nick died of brain cancer nearly two years ago. With that aside, let's talk about his need to be so Biblical with "be fruitful and multiply." Some people defend Nick's super-sperming ways. Yes, it's his right and choice to populate the Earth. My thing? How are you able to afford these kids? But most importantly-- how much of a relationship can you have with 12 children? How much time can you spend with them? Get to know them? Get to be a part of their lives, their activities? It's not as if these children are all from one mother, which would keep them all in the same household. Nick has 6 different baby mommas.

Here's a rundown:

Twins Moroccan and Monroe (11) (with Mariah Carey)
Sons Golden Sagon (5) and Rise Messiah Cannon (born last month) and daughter Powerful Queen (1) (with Brittany Bell)
Twins Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir (1) (with Abby De La Rosa...who is also expecting another one any time now)
Son Legendary Love (four months) (with Bre Tiesi)
Daughter Onyx Ice (one month) (with LaNisha Cole)
Son Zen (with Alyssa Scott) (who passed last December) and now...the new one!

And how do these half-siblings get to know each other?

For the love of all things holy: put your D on lockdown!

Wild, Wild, West

8/12/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending August 12th, 2022:

via GIPHY

#3 VICTORIA BECKHAM

It's all joy and bliss when you get engaged and are planning your wedding. What may not be blissful is any tension amongst your new family members. Nicola Peltz is Victoria's new daughter-in-law. She posted a teary-eyed selfie on the Insa with the caption:

“We all have days where people make you feel bad and it’s okay to be hurt by it."

According to sources, the two aren't getting along because Nicola didn't want Vickie's input when it came to the wedding planning. Now, this petty drama has become a "thing" which is just stupid. Now, Victoria and David haven't had much contact with their son because of this dramz.

As a wiser woman, you need to know your place and be the bigger person in a situation like this. She is a part of the family, and you need to let things slide. Any bride wants to plan the wedding she wants. Show some grace. Be as classy as your style.

via GIPHY

#2 TERESA GUIDICE, JOE & MELISSA GORGA, Castmembers/Real Housewives of New Jersey

This hot mess family will always remain messy. Teresa got married to her newest money succubus and her bro and sister-in-law backed out of attending. And now the fight is on! The Gorgas RSVPed "yes" to the lavish nuptials, but because Teresa has been spreading rumors that her SIL is letting her legs flop open, the couple decided to no-show. And Teresa is seething. She supposedly sent a bill to them demanding reimbursement.

"Meals at Park Chateau Estates and Gardens are not cheap. It’s rude to say ‘yes,’ and then change your mind in the 11th hour. This stuff isn’t refundable. Teresa got stuck with the check and to make matters worse, Joe and Melissa didn’t even send her a gift."

EGADS! It's happened to me. It's a part of doing wedding business.

An insider, though, has the Gorga's backs:

"They're not going to celebrate Teresa's new marriage when all she does is try to tear apart theirs. It's telling that Teresa didn't have one relative at her wedding. But that's the choice Teresa made."

This family deserves each other in so many ways. Being rich and famous doesn't make you a better person. It many times makes someone a bigger asshat.

via GIPHY

#1 KANYE WEST

As always happens, the Pete Davidson flame burns bright and hot and strong, and then-- POOF-- goes out. It's over between Pete and Kim Kardashian, and her soon-to-be-ex-husband couldn't be more thrilled. So much so, that he resorted to his usual childish, bullying behavior by going public with his glee. He posted a meme, a mock-up New York Times front-page headline that said: "Skete Davidson Dead At Age 28".

Kim was pissed, to say the least. And she wants it known that she is not reconciling with the father of her children:

“She’ll never get back with Kanye over the way he’s treated the people she loves and respects."

Even Kanye's fans are asking him to just stop. As for the Kim-Pete split, it was first reported that the reason was because he wanted marriage and she didn't, plus the age gap (she's 41, he's 28), but maybe it's mostly because of Ye. A source says:

"Pete's been in trauma therapy since April - and it's all about Kanye's online abuse. The attention and negativity coming from Kanye and his antics is a trigger for [Pete], and he's had to seek out help."

Yet cancel culture ain't coming for this guy.

Kanye West is a brat
He doesn't know where it's at
When his ego gets hurt
His large mouth will squirt
Vile and venom
Put your head back up your rectum
Where it belongs
You warted schlong

No Ye!

2/4/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending February 4th, 2022:

via GIPHY

#3 SIMON COWELL

What's the definition of insanity? Doing something over and over and expecting different results. Or something like that. We're talking about you, Simon. The dude that broke his back in three places after wrecking his e-bike in 2020, decided that e-biking was a good idea again. No. It was not. Guess what happened? Dude tried to round a sharp corner, lost control because the pavement was wet, and crashed. This time, he broke his left arm, tore up his face, and suffered a concussion.

Kudos for wanting fitness. But keep it up, and your family is gonna be fittin' you in a pine box.

Allow me to call you what you've called many auditioners on Idol and Got Talent:

"You're an utter moron!"

via GIPHY

#2 TERESA GIUDICE, from Real Housewives of New Jersey

After finally divorcing that POS first husband, this housewife wants to keep that status accurate with looming "til death do us part" vibes with her current flame, Luis. After going to prison for some shady money issues, which her first hubby caused, you'd think she'd be more mindful of the money she's been able to make back. Meaning, protect your ass-ets.

But... she says she has no plans on making Luis sign a prenup.

Teresa may be great at flipping tables, but the dining room upstairs is a bit empty.

While appearing on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live, Teresa said she didn't want to do the prenup. Cuz.... ? Your 'soulmate' should have no problem signing a document if he truly cares about you.

via GIPHY

#1 KANYE WEST, or YE, or whatever he calls himself

Kanye has done and said a lot of questionable things in the past. But this is low. He's supposedly telling friends Pete Davison (who's dating his soon-to-be-ex Kim Kardashian) has AIDS.

"Kanye's been telling everybody within earshot" that Pete has AIDS. We're told Kanye's claim has made for a few awkward phone calls between Pete and mutual friends he has with Kanye -- who are confused and disturbed by the childish behavior."

Yes, I don't get the Pete Davison thing. I don't know why so many women are attracted to him. But, AIDS is not a joking matter. And, if you would play it cool you might have a shot at getting Kim back-- which is your goal. Because, that whole Pete's "d" worship ends quickly....

Swagless

11/12/2021

Offender for the week ending November 12, 2021:

via GIPHY

#3 SCOTT DISICK

This fool thinks if he keeps in good with the Kardashian/Jenners, he might get another shot at Kourtney. HA HA HA HA! He says he considers Kris Jenner to be a second mom to him, and that he gets along well with everyone-- except Kourtney.

Well, her opinion matters most. And she ain't leaving Travis Barker-- a real man. Just go back to age-inappropriate dating.

A little poem for you:

Disick
Is a dick
Not so slick
Go find a pole to lick

via GIPHY

#2 JEFF BEZOS

Jeffy was just kidding, but you know a part of him was serious when he took a shot at the luscious Leo DiCaprio. Jeff and his lady love, Lauren Sanchez, were at some soiree where Leo was. And he was lookin' F-I-N-E in a tux. Lauren was alllll into Leo, and as he turned to walk away, it looked like she was going to grab his hand and follow. Well, Barstool Sports posted video of the exchange with the caption "Leo is Mr. Steal Yo Girl."

In response, Jeff posted a picture of himself standing by a sign that read: "Danger! Steep Cliff Fatal Drop" with the caption: "Leo, come over here. I want to show you something."

Look, Bezhos. You have more money than Leo. It's cool. Go ride your penis rocket to space. It'll be okay.

A little poem for you:

Sad but true
You got the bag
But Leo got swag
Boo hoo

via GIPHY

#1 YE, formerly known as Kanye West

I've slapped this dude so many times, but he doesn't seem to learn. I actually feel sorry for him as he's going through a lot. Name change; marital status change. Reports came out months ago that these two are, indeed, getting divorced-- and that everything had been settled. Now, Ye claims he's never seen any divorce papers, and that he wants to stay together with Kim Kardashian. He's blaming the media, and streaming service Hulu for the breakup of his family:

"I wanna pull my family back together... It's MY family, Hulu."

What the eff does that mean? Perhaps you shouldn't have run off to your ranch in Montana for months at a time while your family was in L.A. Methinks he's just upset Kim's bumpin' uglies with Pete Davidson. I mean, I'd hurl too, but... you have your own little hook-up action going on...

A little poem for you:

Ye Ye
Go away
Change your name to
Overplayed

Ye-ppy Skippy

10/29/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending October 29, 2021:

via GIPHY

#3 SCOTT DISICK

Somebody's not taking their ex's engagement so well! The dude who couldn't put a ring on Kourtney Kardashian in 10 years is upset that Travis Barker locked that down. WAAAAAH! First of all, you're a tool. Second, she's better off. Way better off. Travis is a rocker, and you're just... flaccid. An insider said:

"Scott is going crazy. He's going to go off the deep end. It's really bad. It's about to get dark."

This dude has been problematic since birth. Maybe he should get together with Travis' ex, Shanna Moakler. She's equally not pleased. They could console each other's dark hearts.

via GIPHY

#2 KANYE WEST

Kanye is an interesting fella, isn't he? Well, he's no longer Kanye. He had his name legally changed from Kanye Omari West to... "Ye". Just... Ye. No middle name. No last name.

Is it pronounced "yay" or "yee"? Of the change he said:

"... the being formally known as Kanye West. I am YE."

So, it's capitalized? This is so confusing. I hope it's not "yee" because that sounds like "yeast". Which may explain a lot.

But how will this affect his next presidential run?

via GIPHY

#1 GEORGE TAKEI

They say Italians will hold a grudge forever. You all have forgotten about the Asians-- we're talking holding a grudge for centuries if need be (I know because of some of my family members.) George will go to his grave hating William Shatner. His latest disgust? When Bill rode Jeff Bezos' rocket into space-- making him the oldest man to ever go to space.

George was bent:

"He's a guinea pig, so 90-years-old is going to show a great deal more on the wear and tear on the human body, so he'll be a good specimen to study. Although he's not the fittest specimen of 90-years-old, so he'll be a specimen that's unfit."

And then he said that Shatner went where others have already boldly gone. Damn, dude. Chill. Guess his beef with Shat is his belief that Shatner way back in the day cut a scene of his from one of the Star Trek movies and denied him command of a ship... which his character did get. But, whatevs. What world is George living in that he's so upset over Sulu's "slight".

Perhaps he's the one that's actually out of this world...

Twin Pricks

Wild, Wild, West

No Ye!

Swagless

Ye-ppy Skippy

About The Slap

Archives

Categories