Her hot mess of a personal life includes dating a known child molester. And if that weren't horrific enough, the molester molested her own daughter! Sick. This Baby-Huey-wannabee is still in the spotlight, because she and her on-again/off-again husband/partner belly-banger, Sugar Bear, may be back on reality TV doing couples therapy. The reality show I wanna see: Punch the Pin(~)ata. The only thing I fear, though, is the biohazardous waste that would pour out of her. Sorry...
In a recent interview, (insert sarcastic tone) Kim laments the tough life she leads. It's soooo hard having nannies and handlers, and butt-buffers. And-- the evil paparazzi! Boo. Hoo. Try working for a living. Like, 70-hours-a-week-at-three-different-jobs working. Then see how badly you need a day off. I know it must be difficult for you to actually construct a thought. Surely, you've confused "thot" and "thought" often. Now, go oil your cartoon-ish body and slip-n-slide your way out of the Universe!
*NOTE: A "thot" is defined by Urban Dictionary as: a hoe. For example: "LeShawnda may be yo woman, but she my main thot."
OFFENSE: Lying flat sack
More air leaking out of Deflate-Gate's controversial figurehead. The man who won't let a fart pass without his permission claims he had no idea about this whole small-balls thing. Instead, he threw Tom Brady under the bus. Because as the QB, Tom's obsessed with the condition of his balls. I'm sure he is, since wifey Giselle has had his balls since Day One. But, really Billy? No one is buying this. You're a known cheater. You spy on people, and hire lip-readers-- whatever it takes to get the advantage. What's next, Jock-Gate? Where you Bengay the opposing team's jocks so they're distracted and smellier?
P.S. Where the hell was all the cheating when you coached the Browns? Bastard.