Offenders for the week ending May 19, 2017:
"Here's what you can do with your cake!"
#3 JETBLUE
I know an airline is not a celebrity, but infamy qualifies-- at least with the slap. You'd think with all the bad publicity that the industry is getting recently, they'd check themselves before they wreck themselves. Apparently not. Imagine this:
"Hey, honey. We're going to Vegas for your 40th birthday!" Yaaaaay! But wait-- Cameron Burke, and his birthday-girl-wife and their family were en route to Vegas for said celebration when the flight attendants had them removed. Over a birthday cake. The flight attendants couldn't agree on where to store it. Here's how it went down:
"Hey, honey. We're going to Vegas for your 40th birthday!" Yaaaaay! But wait-- Cameron Burke, and his birthday-girl-wife and their family were en route to Vegas for said celebration when the flight attendants had them removed. Over a birthday cake. The flight attendants couldn't agree on where to store it. Here's how it went down:
Here's my thing: this family passed TSA, so what's the problem with the damn cake? Hello? Shame on you! Time to rename you JetLose.
"I'm blind and I have this squish-face syndrome, so I'm innocent..."
#2 BILL COSBY
Not only is he blind, but apparently he's insane. And things are a whole lot "nefarious." Yup. That's his go-to word to describe his "situation". On a previous Celebrity Slap, I shared that the Cosby family was embarking on a media tour to try and gain sympathy ahead of his trial this summer. In a rare interview with the allegedly-rapey-mixologist, Cos claims this whole thing is rooted in racism:
"Nefarious is a great word. And I just truly believe that some of it may very well be that."
Nefarious by definition means: wicked or criminal. Like what you're accused of? And how are these decades-ranging allegations racist? Some of your alleged victims are African-American. You are African-American. And, you've done well for yourself... in a supposed white-washed world.
Yeah, keep reachin', you rank butthole. You and your entire delusional family are a puddin' pop short of a whole box.
"Nefarious is a great word. And I just truly believe that some of it may very well be that."
Nefarious by definition means: wicked or criminal. Like what you're accused of? And how are these decades-ranging allegations racist? Some of your alleged victims are African-American. You are African-American. And, you've done well for yourself... in a supposed white-washed world.
Yeah, keep reachin', you rank butthole. You and your entire delusional family are a puddin' pop short of a whole box.
"Blah, blah, blah...."
#1 TAYLOR HICKS
ican Idol is back! And Katy Perry has been named as one of the judges. And supposedly, Idol alum Chris Daughtry. Cool! Unless you're the Taylor-who-wishes-he-were-Swift.
Even though they're buds, Hickster doesn't think D should be a judge:
"I think a winner should be (a judge), personally, because what you go through to win the show is a lot different than what you go through when you're third or fourth, you know, or fight. Or tenth."
Okay. Sounds valid. Or it sounds like sour grapes 'cuz no one's called YOU to judge. Right?
"I'm not confirming or denying it."
Which means, your phone ain't ringing. Well, Soul Patrol knows best. So, let's compare the two:
Taylor:
Winner of American Idol, Season 5
Vegas residency 2012
Number of hit songs:.................
Net worth: $3.5 million
Chris:
#4 finisher American Idol, Season 5
Acted in multiple TV shows
Number of hit songs: 4 #1s, 10 Top 10s
Net worth: $8.5 million
Take your beloved harmonica and stick it in your booty crack. Maybe you'll get fame for playing it that way.
Even though they're buds, Hickster doesn't think D should be a judge:
"I think a winner should be (a judge), personally, because what you go through to win the show is a lot different than what you go through when you're third or fourth, you know, or fight. Or tenth."
Okay. Sounds valid. Or it sounds like sour grapes 'cuz no one's called YOU to judge. Right?
"I'm not confirming or denying it."
Which means, your phone ain't ringing. Well, Soul Patrol knows best. So, let's compare the two:
Taylor:
Winner of American Idol, Season 5
Vegas residency 2012
Number of hit songs:.................
Net worth: $3.5 million
Chris:
#4 finisher American Idol, Season 5
Acted in multiple TV shows
Number of hit songs: 4 #1s, 10 Top 10s
Net worth: $8.5 million
Take your beloved harmonica and stick it in your booty crack. Maybe you'll get fame for playing it that way.
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