Offenders for the week ending March 3, 2017:
Yup. All positions on this week's list are occupied by men.
This week's Slap-ees will be directed towards whom to blame for their shameful behavior.
This week's Slap-ees will be directed towards whom to blame for their shameful behavior.
"I'm such a sensitive guy..."
#3 THE BACHELOR NICK VIALL
Poor Nickster is afraid of one-on-one time in the Fantasy Suite. Remember, Nick is a two-time loser from The Bachelorette... so, he's feeling a bit nervous and worried that he's going to not make the right decision and have his heart broken, blah, blah, blah...
"I'm excited about this week-- overnights and fantasy-suite dates give you an incredible opportunity to connect with someone... Love is a two-way street, and you can lose it at any point. Hopefully, this doesn't all blow up in my face."
Do you really believe anyone is truly looking for love on this show?
Well, I'm sure he'll get over his fears once Woodrow the PantsPecker gets a load of one of these chicks in their finest negligee. (Yes, I used "negligee". This is a classy blog.) Oh, and I'm sure he'll find an everlasting love. Bwaa haa haa!
The Blame Game: #BlameMommy. She obviously made you a wuss. Afraid of puss.
"I'm excited about this week-- overnights and fantasy-suite dates give you an incredible opportunity to connect with someone... Love is a two-way street, and you can lose it at any point. Hopefully, this doesn't all blow up in my face."
Do you really believe anyone is truly looking for love on this show?
Well, I'm sure he'll get over his fears once Woodrow the PantsPecker gets a load of one of these chicks in their finest negligee. (Yes, I used "negligee". This is a classy blog.) Oh, and I'm sure he'll find an everlasting love. Bwaa haa haa!
The Blame Game: #BlameMommy. She obviously made you a wuss. Afraid of puss.
"I will eat your soul..."
#2 ATLANTA FALCONS RECEIVER MOHAMED SANU
Forget deflated balls-- this is the true NFL controversy. Someone sabotaged the momentum the Falcons had going into halftime of Superbowl 51. And that said individual is Lady Gaga. That's what Sanu believes.
"Usually halftime's only like 15 minutes. And when you're not on the field for like a half hour, it's just like going to work out-- like a great workout-- and then you're gonna sit on the couch for an hour. And then try to start working out again."
Oh, yeah. I totally see your point! (shakes head, "No.") Comparing the biggest game of the season, the dream every football player wants to achieve-- to a "workout" is lame. Find a way to keep your head and body in the game. You're a pro. Plus, this isn't the first instance of a Superbowl halftime being 30 minutes. Where have you been? By the way, the Patriots didn't take the same break? And now for the zinger, your team extended its lead early in the second half. And then the Cleveland Browns showed up, and y'all choked.
Again, lame.
The Blame Game: #BlameGaga why? Cuz her mic drop apparently landed on this dude's head.
"Usually halftime's only like 15 minutes. And when you're not on the field for like a half hour, it's just like going to work out-- like a great workout-- and then you're gonna sit on the couch for an hour. And then try to start working out again."
Oh, yeah. I totally see your point! (shakes head, "No.") Comparing the biggest game of the season, the dream every football player wants to achieve-- to a "workout" is lame. Find a way to keep your head and body in the game. You're a pro. Plus, this isn't the first instance of a Superbowl halftime being 30 minutes. Where have you been? By the way, the Patriots didn't take the same break? And now for the zinger, your team extended its lead early in the second half. And then the Cleveland Browns showed up, and y'all choked.
Again, lame.
The Blame Game: #BlameGaga why? Cuz her mic drop apparently landed on this dude's head.
"Call me Dick... Tracy. "
#1 WARREN BEATTY
The 2017 Oscars were memorable. Not for the political messages that the Hollywood elite were trying to shove down our throats, but for the EPIC f*ck up announcement for Best Picture. Warren opens the envelope, looks at it, and... and...and... let's Faye Dunaway read the wrong stuff. Bitch, please.
"I wasn't trying to be funny."
No sh*t, Captain Obvious. Apparently, improvisation is not a part of your thespian repertoire. You knew you had the card for Best Actress, you gave Faye the envelope, and she said La La Land.
What's that sound?
The bus, driven by Bitty Beatty, running over Faye. Quite douche-y. You couldn't say: "Hey, guys. I have the wrong card."?!? Back to retirement for you, Warren.
P.S. Mad props to Faye for her disappearing act from the stage. That was expertly done!
The Blame Game: #BlameMadonna for luring you with her moldy muffin in the 90s. I don't know what this has to do with Warren's eff up, but I don't know what Gaga has to do with the Falcons losing the Superbowl...
"I wasn't trying to be funny."
No sh*t, Captain Obvious. Apparently, improvisation is not a part of your thespian repertoire. You knew you had the card for Best Actress, you gave Faye the envelope, and she said La La Land.
What's that sound?
The bus, driven by Bitty Beatty, running over Faye. Quite douche-y. You couldn't say: "Hey, guys. I have the wrong card."?!? Back to retirement for you, Warren.
P.S. Mad props to Faye for her disappearing act from the stage. That was expertly done!
The Blame Game: #BlameMadonna for luring you with her moldy muffin in the 90s. I don't know what this has to do with Warren's eff up, but I don't know what Gaga has to do with the Falcons losing the Superbowl...
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