*This week's slapees will be treated to advice in the form of couplets..
OFFENSE: Slave to vanity
The 21st century Madonna took to Instagram to post her pain. What pain is that? The pain of dyeing her hair. Going from a dark brunette to a platinum blonde has taken its toll on her locks. Why don't you stick to your own mantra of: "Baby, I was born this way"? If you're not careful, you're gonna wake up bald. I've lived the whole 'beauty is pain' thing. But please... wear a damn wig-- like you usually do. On the bright side-- at least you're back in the spotlight since you haven't had a hit song since when?
Here's some advice:
When you bleach too much, it goes awry
So please don't bleach your "Southern Pie".
OFFENSE: Dumbass
She's currently in Dubai-- and she's stirrin' things up. She donned a niqab and hijab-- which are garments worn by women in the Muslim community to cover their head and face. She then had to snap a social media pic with the caption:
"Habibi Love"
Uhmmm... that outraged a lot of people. Hey, Khloe-- those items aren't really fashion accessories. There's a lot of symbolism and controversy surrounding them. Please attempt to educate yourself so you won't enrage others. Or is that too difficult since it requires a brain to think?
Here's some advice:
It's unwise to say things on the whim
Even for you-- a big, scary "shim".
OFFENSE: Hypocrite
Feeling the need to put her two tons in, the former reality TV star decided to give her opinion about TLC amidst the Duggar molestation scandal. She's threatening to sue the network if it doesn't cancel "19 Kids and Counting" because her show was canceled last October following reports she was dating a convicted child molestor-- a man accused of abusing one of her own daughters! Yes, you may be right. A double standard may exist with the network, but a lawsuit? You don't have a ham hock to stand on.
How 'bout you get your own matters in order?
Here's some advice:
One should not be a thrower of stones
When you're jumpin' on a pedophile's "bone".
Mama June: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lwpkommunikacio/
Khloe Kardashian: https://www.flickr.com/photos/evarinaldiphotography/
Lady Gaga: https://www.flickr.com/photos/hotgossipitalia/