Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Massengil Time

1/7/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending January 7th, 2022:

#3 JAKE PAUL

There's a scent of vinegar in the air. Must mean a Paul brother is around...

Jake says he'll leave the world of boxing if UFC president Dana White agrees to his list of demands:

"1) Increase min fighter pay per fight to $50K (it's $12K now); 2) Guarantee UFC fighters 50% of UFC annual revenues ($1bn in 2021); 3) Provide long term healthcare to all fighters (you previously said brain damage is part of the gig…imagine the NFL said that). There are many UFC alums who have publicly said they are suffering from brain damage."

Great that you have a "cause", though your sincerity is in question since you're just a famous attention whore. And calling yourself a "boxer" is quite the loose interpretation.

P.S. What do we have to do to get you to retire from humanity?

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#2 TRISTAN THOMPSON

What does Maury Povich say? You ARE the father! It's not like any of us doubted that. Maralee Nichols was right all along. And now Tristan has confirmed his happy (?) news via the socials.

“Today, paternity test results reveal that I fathered a child with Maralee Nichols. I take full responsibility for my actions. Now that paternity has been established, I look forward to amicably raising our son.”

And... he apologized to Khloe Kardashian-- who is one of his baby mommas-- who he tried to "reconnect with" and maybe even have another child with...

“Khloé, you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve the heartache and humiliation I have caused you. You don’t deserve the way I have treated you over the years.”

Exactly.

P.S. Do you have a bet with Nick Cannon about who can father more kids?

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#1 JASON DERULO

Jason got into a scuffle with two people in Vegas the other night. Why? Because someone mistook him for Usher. At the Aria resort, Jason threw a punch and connected with a man's face after he claims he was cursed at and called Usher.

The victims did not press charges. Jason was asked to leave.

Dude... there are worse people you could be called. Like, Chris Brown. The Situation. Any member of LFO. At least Usher is hot and has had a lot of hits.

P.S. Since you sing your name at the beginning of most of your songs, you should just walk around singing your name IRL so people won't think you're Usher.

Smell It

12/17/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 17th, 2021:

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#3 SCOTT DISICK

Scott Disdick has decided to put aside his hostility (envy/jealousy) towards his ex, Kourtney Kardashian, and her fiancée Travis Barker, for the sake of their kids. Duh! Somebody ought to slap you... wait... that's what we're doing here... Gee, you just realized you need to be a big boy and man-up so your kids won't suffer your childish behavior. Because previously a source said:

"(at one point) he refused to be in the same room with Travis... he feels isolated like an outsider."

I'll say it again. She's with a better man. "Man" being the crucial word here...

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#2 JAKE PAUL

And now for another non-man. A shining example of why YouTube "stars' shouldn't be "stars" because most of them are asshats. Jakeass is all excited because he landed on Google's "Most Searched Athletes of 2021". First of all, a slap to Google for considering this snotcrust an athlete. Anywho, Tiger Woods was the most-searched athlete this year. And since Jake thinks he's a pro boxer, he wants to fight Tiger. He said:

"Looking like a Jake Paul vs. Tiger Woods fight in 2022."

Uh, no. Tiger has no time for your foolishness. Sit. Down. Better yet, TKO down. Somebody knock this rank dbag out!

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#1 JESSIE SMOLLETT

I. Can't. With this guy. At least a jury found him guilty on five of six felony counts of disorderly conduct. In January of 2019, he claimed two bigoted MAGA -loving men attacked him in Chicago. As a gay black man, he used his circumstance to draw attention to all of America's problems. Problem is, he staged the attack-- hiring two men he knew to help out.

This is absolutely repulsive and a slap in the face to those of us who have been on the receiving end of racism. It's insulting. It makes a mockery out of those who have suffered a hate crime. This makes the problem worse, and may make justice harder to garner for those who are true victims. Smelley faces up to three years behind bars and a $25,000 fine.

The criminal justice system makes examples of common people. Will he get the Hollywood Pass on this?

Stronger

12/4/2020

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending November 20th, 2020:

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#3 JAKE PAUL

A YouTubeTw&t on the list...

He fancies himself an athlete, after defeating former NBA player Nate Robinson in a recent boxing match. It was a knockout, even. And... Jake was already injured when he entered the ring. He had a broken nose. What a tough guy! First of all, it looked like Nate flopped. Second, why not box someone that's an equal physical match? Oh.... cuz you might get your pimply ass handed to you.

This ginormous d-bag is now challenging Conor McGregor to a match.

HA HA HA! Is it possible to punch someone's teeth out through their butthole?

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#2 ISABELLA ROSE

Who dis, you ask? She's one of the demon spawn of disgraced actress Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli. You know, the parents that bribed people to get their two dumbass daughters into college. Well, mommy and daddy are serving their prison sentences right now, and Isabella (a YouTube influencer) is overcome with grief that she needed a getaway. A very expensive weekend away at the five-star Rosewood Miramar Hotel in Santa Barbara. She was spotted with a male friend, frolicking on the beach, while sporting a cutesy sweatshirt with the phrase:

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Your level of hotness is quite subjective. #yourfacelookslikemymentrualcramps

And, way to keep a low profile-- considering you're too stupid to get into college on your own merits. Oh! And way to not respect your parents-- even though they were also stupid enough to actually bribe someone in the first place.

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#1 BRANDON BLACKSTOCK

This guy is Kelly Clarkson's soon-to-be ex-husband. And the sooner, the better. Not only did he blindside her with wanting a divorce, he wants a sh&t ton of her money. While Kelly gets a win in her category regarding custody of their two children, this pube flosser wants $436 thousand a month in spousal/child support. Even though Kelly has primary physical custody, and he has to travel to L.A. for his three weekends a month. What does he need all that support for? Plus, he has the stones to ask for $2 million in attorneys' fees (he has 7 lawyers)!

Eat. A. Steamy. Bag. Of. Warted. Weens.

These two have a pre-nup, so I don't know what else he thinks he should be getting here... He needs a kick to the head, for one thing.

Kelly's former manager is Brandon's dad. Then Brandon became her manager. Girl.... you should've seen this was all kinds of shady. Plus, there's that saying: "Don't shit where you eat".

As sung in your own words: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Douchefecta

10/23/2020

Offenders for the week ending in October 23, 2020:

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#3 JAY CUTLER

Guess the next thing this dude will be throwing is a turd in his diaper. WAAAAAH! Former average pro QB Jay is upset that his wife has potentially moved on with another man since their divorce. Kristen Cavallari was seen smooching with comedian Jeff Dye. Oh the humanity!

"He's not happy seeing her move on."

Oh-effing-well. That's what people do after a breakup. And since you weren't really a good guy during the marriage-- all unsupportive while suckling off your wife's financial teet-- you really have nothing to say now. Zero. Plus, you're a hypocrite. Rumor has it you're taking snaps from Tomi Lahren. It's okay for you to move on, but not your wife. Example #1,005 while you reek of vinegar.

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#2 KELLY DODD, Real Housewives of Orange County cast member

If only adults acted like adults and not big children. Kelly is the perfect example of this, and opening her large trap before thinking. She's a cut-you-to-the-bone mean bitch. 100. In recent slap-worthy moment, she posted a video to social media calling her ex-husband Michael a deadbeat dad. In front of their daughter. Classy.

"Jolie, aren't you glad you have a real dad like Rick Leventhal (Kelly's new husband) instead of your father, Michael, who you haven't seen in how long?"

The 13-year-old child answered it'd been 5 months. We get it. Michael is a known asshat. The two of you have literally been at each other's throats, so much so, that a restraining order was filed against you until you agreed to therapy and alcohol treatment.

Move. On. You're remarried. Your kid already knows her father might be douche-y. But he's still her father. And-- KEEP YOUR DRAMZ OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA. We don't need to see every little thing. But thank you. Because all of you celebrities provide so much material for me each week.

You can be classy. It's in there somewhere. Perhaps under one of your Botox-ed cheeks.

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#1 JAKE PAUL

I hate that we even live in a time where there is such a thing as a "YouTube Star". But since we do, and there are...

Jake is everything that encapsulates the millennial stereotype. He's entitled. He does what he wants to do. And he's rewarded for his bad behavior by the flocks of sheeple out there. And he's got a ton of money. Which makes him even more insufferable. Dude was busted earlier this year for throwing a massive party in Calabasas. Whether you agree or not with the COVID restrictions-- they exist in Cali. And they will bust you.

Fast forward to now and he threw another party. And it was chronicled on social media. Crowds dancing. No masks. Because it's his birthday. So everyone should recognize!

What a joke. Gathering with the intention of trying to catch and spread COVID while having your birthday. Awesome. You'd think a guy who had his house raided by the FBI would be a little more careful... Wait. Since it's not confirmed you have a brain, thinking may not actually occur.

Why can't an asteroid crash his next party?

Shut. Up. Please

6/5/2020

Offenders for the week ending June 5, 2020:

There are plenty that have made the list, mostly over their faux "solidarity" with the African-American community during this past week. But the number is too great. So this is how we're doing the slap this week.

People like reality TV star Kathryn Dennis-- who had her own controversy with African-American radio personality Mika Gadsen in which it was discovered that Kathryn had DM'd Mika some supper-charged messages that included monkey emojis. When asked by Kathryn's fans what context those emojis were used, she went silent on the socials... only to comeback later with her "support" of former President Barack Obama. So blatantly pandering and thirsty. Zip it.

And YouTuber Jake Paul who was participating in the looting and rioting-- a toolbag worth millions of dollars-- but said he wasn't. He was just capturing the moment on video for his channel. Yeah. Idiot. And we make these people famous. Again. Stop.

So let's move on to the events involving this individual who shall serve as the slapee this week:

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#3, #2, #1 LEA MICHELE

You wonder sometimes when someone appears so bubbly and picture perfect if they're really that, or are they gluing your picture and cursing your name in their Burn Book... And it's been proven that Lea is just a raging diva bitchbag under all that fabulousity. She tweeted her show of support in memory of George Floyd and BLM. Which seemed thoughtful. But that opened up the floodgates of WTF from former castmates of "Glee". Several former African-American co-stars spilled the tea about life on the set with Lea-- and the taste is so bitter. Samantha Marie Ware tweeted:

"I BELIEVE YOU TOLD EVERYONE THAT IF TOU (sic) HAD THE OPPORTUNITY YOU WOULD 'SH-T IN MY WIG!" AMONGST OTHER TRAUMATIC MICROAGRESSIONS THAT MADE ME QUESTION A CAREER IN HOLLYWOOD."

A day later, Lea apologized... kinda:

"When I tweeted the other day, it was meant to be a show of support for our friends and neighbors and communities of color during this really difficult time, but the responses I received to what I posted have made me also focus specifically on how my own behavior towards fellow cast members was perceived by them. While I don't remember ever making this specific statement and I have never judged others by their background or color of their skin, that's not really the point. What matters is that I clearly acted in ways which hurt other people."

Okay. She may not be a racist, but she is not a nice person to work with. A majority of her co-stars of all genders and races have attested. Making everyone feel like they're unworthy and literally not allowed to sit at your table is just being a shitty human.

This is what happens when you share your "thoughts and prayers", and change your picture to a black square and say you "don't understand but stand" and every other trendy, cliche-ish thing on social media so you appear sensitive and and evolved. What are you truly doing the other 364 days of the year? Are you having genuine dialogue about race issues and being honest about your feelings? Otherwise, your platitudes are disingenuous and empty. So stop. Just. Stop. Your heartfelt sympathies will kick you in the babymaker every time if you really don't have a heart. Period.

NOTE: By no means am I insinuating that every person who has changed their profile picture, or re-posted memes or sayings is not real. Or doesn't really care. But there are many who follow along because of FOMO. And the need to "live their best life" on social media. The most important thing is how you're living your life-- your real life.

Massengil Time

Smell It

Stronger

Douchefecta

Shut. Up. Please

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