Offenders for the week of July 6, 2015:
This week's our Slappees get their "just deserts" of the sweet variety...
"Lookie here at my girly muscles!"
#3 JUSTIN BIEBER
OFFENSE: Icky
Since he really doesn't have a career, why not go on vacay and run around naked? Well, that's all fine-- but we don't need to see your bare, naked ass-- ever! Plus, it's no David Beckham backside! (Meow!) Beebs is livin'-it-up with his bros in Bora Bora, and one of them snapped a tushie pic. Whatevs. Hope you've wisely invested that fortune you amassed off of horrible music. But I digress... Maybe Beebs is trying to get work. Perhaps these pics are his audition for a Coppertone commercial, or a Johnson & Johnson baby wipes gig... Either way, keep that Pale Moon Risin' covered!
Your dessert: A bowl of Tapioca... to match that ass jiggle.
OFFENSE: Icky
Since he really doesn't have a career, why not go on vacay and run around naked? Well, that's all fine-- but we don't need to see your bare, naked ass-- ever! Plus, it's no David Beckham backside! (Meow!) Beebs is livin'-it-up with his bros in Bora Bora, and one of them snapped a tushie pic. Whatevs. Hope you've wisely invested that fortune you amassed off of horrible music. But I digress... Maybe Beebs is trying to get work. Perhaps these pics are his audition for a Coppertone commercial, or a Johnson & Johnson baby wipes gig... Either way, keep that Pale Moon Risin' covered!
Your dessert: A bowl of Tapioca... to match that ass jiggle.
"Maybe they'll let me lick a cream stick in France?"
#2 ARIANA GRANDE
OFFENSE: Disgusting traitor
The pop star got a hankerin' for some doughnuts, so she decided to go get some. While she was at the bakery, she was caught on video licking and spitting on the doughnuts, and declaring her hate for America/Americans. Classy. Oh, and to make matters worse-- the staff didn't see her spit on the doughnuts, so they were served to unsuspecting customers. Gross! Areola and her equally repulsive male friend were having a blast destroying the baked goods and behaving like complete douchebags.
Once Airheadia discovered she was caught on video, she tried to explain her actions:
"What I said in a private moment with my friend, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context and I am sorry for not using more discretion with my choice of words. As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole."
What does that have to do with spitting on doughnuts or declaring your hatred of America-- you know, that country that's allowed you to be a self-entitled, spoiled ass berry?
Hey, Bimbette-- you were born here; which makes you an American that you hate so much!
Here's a thought: Hate America so much? GET. THE. F*CK. OUT.
Your dessert: A Banana Phlegm-be... since you're no stranger to "bananas" and you like to hock on things.
OFFENSE: Disgusting traitor
The pop star got a hankerin' for some doughnuts, so she decided to go get some. While she was at the bakery, she was caught on video licking and spitting on the doughnuts, and declaring her hate for America/Americans. Classy. Oh, and to make matters worse-- the staff didn't see her spit on the doughnuts, so they were served to unsuspecting customers. Gross! Areola and her equally repulsive male friend were having a blast destroying the baked goods and behaving like complete douchebags.
Once Airheadia discovered she was caught on video, she tried to explain her actions:
"What I said in a private moment with my friend, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context and I am sorry for not using more discretion with my choice of words. As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole."
What does that have to do with spitting on doughnuts or declaring your hatred of America-- you know, that country that's allowed you to be a self-entitled, spoiled ass berry?
Hey, Bimbette-- you were born here; which makes you an American that you hate so much!
Here's a thought: Hate America so much? GET. THE. F*CK. OUT.
Your dessert: A Banana Phlegm-be... since you're no stranger to "bananas" and you like to hock on things.
"I've got THE drink recipe for you..."
#1 BILL COSBY
OFFENSE: Damned, filthy liar!
I'm not sure I can find the words for this, but I'll try my best... Guess who admitted in a 2005 deposition that he obtained Quaaludes and other sedatives to give to women for sex? Yup. America's favorite TV dad. The same guy who claimed those who would dare accuse him of such awful things are racists and liars.
Look in the mirror lately? How do you live with yourself?
And FYI, you're no man. Apparently you don't have the skills or any redeeming qualities for a woman to want to be intimate with you. It takes a pathetic, deviant loser to drug a woman and rape her. Cuz why have a woman want to want you? And please, don't even dare to say you have some kind of "addiction". The only addiction you have is that chronic behavior of acting like a scumbag.
And to Mrs. Bill Crotchby-- you're just as culpable and just as disgusting for lying for this insufferable piece of shit. How do you lay down at night with this rapist? Hand back your ovaries, you're out of the club!
I guess I was able to find my words afterall...
Your dessert: Spotted Dick. No explanation needed...
OFFENSE: Damned, filthy liar!
I'm not sure I can find the words for this, but I'll try my best... Guess who admitted in a 2005 deposition that he obtained Quaaludes and other sedatives to give to women for sex? Yup. America's favorite TV dad. The same guy who claimed those who would dare accuse him of such awful things are racists and liars.
Look in the mirror lately? How do you live with yourself?
And FYI, you're no man. Apparently you don't have the skills or any redeeming qualities for a woman to want to be intimate with you. It takes a pathetic, deviant loser to drug a woman and rape her. Cuz why have a woman want to want you? And please, don't even dare to say you have some kind of "addiction". The only addiction you have is that chronic behavior of acting like a scumbag.
And to Mrs. Bill Crotchby-- you're just as culpable and just as disgusting for lying for this insufferable piece of shit. How do you lay down at night with this rapist? Hand back your ovaries, you're out of the club!
I guess I was able to find my words afterall...
Your dessert: Spotted Dick. No explanation needed...
PHOTO CREDIT:
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Ariana Grande https://www.flickr.com/photos/98388875@N03/
Bill Cosby https://www.flickr.com/photos/wacphiladelphia/
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Ariana Grande https://www.flickr.com/photos/98388875@N03/
Bill Cosby https://www.flickr.com/photos/wacphiladelphia/
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