As in: diva, a dick, and a ditz...
Offenders for the week ending March 17, 2017:
This week's Slap-ees will receive an appropriate Irish saying.
This week's Slap-ees will receive an appropriate Irish saying.
Tanaka says: "I think I found what I lost in these here bushes..."
#3 MARIAH CAREY
Our favorite diva just can't get out of the hot mess vortex. Her modus operandi of securing constant male companionship continues. Her latest victim: dancer Brian Tanaka. We saw their re-connection on her reality show "Mariah's World." We also know that Mariah was engaged at the time to some international billionaire, but he didn't make enough time for her. So that opened the door for Tanaka to become Mariah's next manservant. Word has it she really wants to marry her young lover-- whether he wants to or not! She must believe that the third time's a charm...
"Mariah is already talking marriage and kids because she is absolutely enamored by this guy. She's convinced now that he's the one..."
Apparently, friends have been encouraging her to put the brakes on-- but Mariah don't listen to no one! In fact, she's shopping for engagement rings. Way to make this a transaction. Why not just have him give you a red-solo-cup-donation and call it a day. (wink, wink)
Mariah: Wake up, girl. Tanaka: you best moonwalk right out of her penthouse.
Your Irish Saying: (and this is for Tanaka) "If you want praise, die. If you want blame, marry."
"Mariah is already talking marriage and kids because she is absolutely enamored by this guy. She's convinced now that he's the one..."
Apparently, friends have been encouraging her to put the brakes on-- but Mariah don't listen to no one! In fact, she's shopping for engagement rings. Way to make this a transaction. Why not just have him give you a red-solo-cup-donation and call it a day. (wink, wink)
Mariah: Wake up, girl. Tanaka: you best moonwalk right out of her penthouse.
Your Irish Saying: (and this is for Tanaka) "If you want praise, die. If you want blame, marry."
"My lips are movin', so I must be lyin' about somethin'..."
#2 VANDERPUMP RULES STAR JAX TAYLOR
This perpetual man-child can't stop pouting when he doesn't get his way. This time he was at an event and wanted his picture taken with The Bachelor star Nick Viall. But Nick said he doesn't do social media. Then things got ugly:
"I have no f*cking idea who you are... Bro, you're on the f*cking Bachelor. You're gonna be gone in two weeks and nobody will know who the f&ck you are."
Ouchie. Then, he proceeded to call Nick an egotistical d-bag and much more-- to his face. Truth is, a ton of people wanted their picture taken with Nick and not Jax. Plus, Mr. Taylor had some "liquid courage" going on, which makes him extra loser-ish.
Nice, old-man-frat-boy. By the way, nobody would know who the f*ck you are, Jax-ass if it weren't for the show you're on. You're a nearly-40-year-old bartender!!!
Your Irish Saying: "May you live to be 100 years, with one extra to repent." (Think of all the years of trainwreck reality TV we'd get if he lived that long!)
"I have no f*cking idea who you are... Bro, you're on the f*cking Bachelor. You're gonna be gone in two weeks and nobody will know who the f&ck you are."
Ouchie. Then, he proceeded to call Nick an egotistical d-bag and much more-- to his face. Truth is, a ton of people wanted their picture taken with Nick and not Jax. Plus, Mr. Taylor had some "liquid courage" going on, which makes him extra loser-ish.
Nice, old-man-frat-boy. By the way, nobody would know who the f*ck you are, Jax-ass if it weren't for the show you're on. You're a nearly-40-year-old bartender!!!
Your Irish Saying: "May you live to be 100 years, with one extra to repent." (Think of all the years of trainwreck reality TV we'd get if he lived that long!)
"WikiLeaks on these, Julian!"
#1 PAMELA ANDERSON
She does like her bad boys. And the object of her love is WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. She's been spotted bringing him food at the Ecuadorean Embassy where he's been holed-up for the past four years to avoid extradition to Sweden on rape charges. And for all you naysayers out there, he's innocent until proven guilty.
"My Julian is the most intelligent, interesting, and informed man in existence."
The feeling is mutual:
"She's an attractive person with an attractive personality and whip-smart. She's psychologically savvy."
Oh, I bet she's good with a whip! Anywho, not everyone believes Pammy's intentions are true. One former associate had this tidbit:
"Pamela doesn't do anything unless she is getting paid... and a few years ago, she was pretty broke."
Noooooo! But she wrote this about her beloved. A poem entitled: "My Julian."
Pamela, Pamela, Pamela. Apparently there's some TitiLeaks going on. That implant juice has hit your brain.
Your Irish Saying: "It's easy to halve the potato where there's love."
"My Julian is the most intelligent, interesting, and informed man in existence."
The feeling is mutual:
"She's an attractive person with an attractive personality and whip-smart. She's psychologically savvy."
Oh, I bet she's good with a whip! Anywho, not everyone believes Pammy's intentions are true. One former associate had this tidbit:
"Pamela doesn't do anything unless she is getting paid... and a few years ago, she was pretty broke."
Noooooo! But she wrote this about her beloved. A poem entitled: "My Julian."
Pamela, Pamela, Pamela. Apparently there's some TitiLeaks going on. That implant juice has hit your brain.
Your Irish Saying: "It's easy to halve the potato where there's love."
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