This week's slap is dedicated to three dudes embroiled in a stupid feud. Sigh...
"Word to the Terror Squad, Joe, this is all puns aside though/I know me and Mariah didn't end on a high note/But that other dude's whipped, that p*ssy got him neutered/Tried to tell him this chick's a nut job before he got his jewels clipped/Almost got my caboose kicked, fool, quit, you not gon' do shit/I let her chop my balls off, too 'fore I lost to you Nick/I should quit watchin' news clips, yeah/My balls are too big, I should be talkin' pool/"cause I got scratches on my pocket, fall when I'm takin' shots at you."
So. Much. Here. First, your use of "caboose"? That's really 8 Mile laughable. #Fail. Second, you are a miracle of nature. Who gets their stones "clipped", only to grow them back bigger!?!? Third, what in the af did Mariah Carey do to you? Because you can't let this go. It's been 18 years since your alleged relationship/fling/effbuddy days.
"Call Kim, somebody get Hailey and that other kid you raising that ain't even your baby/Took a page of Drake book, this might get a Grammy/We going back to back until you respond on the family/My baby mama killed you off a decade ago/You still crying about it b*tch, now who really the hoe?"
Ouch. Mariah denies any kind of contact with Eminem. But seriously, we all know it happened. Em said he saw you off-and-on during the down moments of your life in 2001 for six months. We've all been their, girl. There are boys we'd like to forget... And that brings up another point-- did Em think he was more than just a slump-buster? Did his widdle feelings get hurt?
"I don't understand to save my life why someone would pick a fight with EM. He is a different kinda animal, I haven't seen a motherf&cker come close to beating him ma. hey Nick that sh&t was trash, I oughta kick you in yo ass when I see you PUNK!"
And they say girls fight over stupid stuff. HA!
Eminem: You're gettin' too old for this shizz. Get some therapy and get over it.
Nick Cannon: You're ridiculous. You beat Em by actually marrying Mariah and having babies with her. Win. Sure, you're divorced, but...
Fiddy: Perhaps you should work a side hustle at Wendy's since you beefin' so much. Will help with that bankruptcy, too...