#3 WHOOPI GOLDBERG
OFFENSE: Rank and stank
Proving she's a real-life whoopie cushion, she ripped one-- live -- while interviewing singer Ashanti on The View. Whoopi jumped from her seat, then blamed her egg-laying on 'breakfast burritos'. Sure. Definitely earning a slap for your odiferous assault, but kudos to what might be a brilliant plan. If your singing buttocks actually conducted interviews, perhaps the ratings would be better. And, think of the endorsement possibilities-- like a line of booty plugs! "Don't let it rip; Don't let it slip! Whoopi's Booty Plugs are the perfect fit! In sizes small, medium and WTH?"
#2 KIM KARDASHIAN
OFFENSE: Dumber than dumb
Yup. She's got them there rocks for brains. In a recent interview, she blamed her pregnancy weight on... God. Our Divine Heavenly Father caused her to pack on the lbs. I'm sure it had absolutely nothing to do with scarfin' down a pile of burgers and fries, or gestating a human being inside your womb! But why resort to common sense or science when you can blame God. Wait a minute... it does make sense. Since hubby Kayne calls himself God, then technically "God" got her in this situation... that's a disturbing thought.
#1 KRIS JENNER
OFFENSE: Soul-less P.O.S.
This... creature riles up the bile in my system. There is just something completely wrong about making money by pimping your children. It started with Kim, and now Kendall. Kris is promoting an Advent calendar video Kendall is in. She's dancing around, then drops her skirt to reveal her sexy lingerie-- all in front of Santa. Oh, and then Santa bends her over and spanks her. Way to raise your girls believing their only worth in life centers around their bodies. You should be uplifting them, not encouraging them to back that thang up to get what you want. And you call yourself a good mother. Yeah, I'm calling you a 'mother', alright...