Offenders for the week of February 2, 2015:
(insert maniacal laugh) #3 VANDERPUMP RULES 'STAR' KRISTEN DOUTE
OFFENSE: Crazier than the craziest beyotch
"Reality" TV really needs a sack punch. Why? Because creatures like this will spare nothing to become famous-- even if it means being portrayed a despicable lowlife. After seven years of service (or should I say 'servicing') and endless hours of drama, Kristen is no longer a professional server at the infamous Sur restaurant. She caused quite a stir by telling her manager to: "F*ck off" and to "Go suck a d*ck". Classy. Yet, this delusional psychopath believes she still has a future on the show because she "put my whole life out there for three years." Yep. You did. Your life; your insanity; and your dirty cookie jar-- for all of us to see. Now, you can move on to your pre-destined career: animal porn.
OFFENSE: Crazier than the craziest beyotch
"Reality" TV really needs a sack punch. Why? Because creatures like this will spare nothing to become famous-- even if it means being portrayed a despicable lowlife. After seven years of service (or should I say 'servicing') and endless hours of drama, Kristen is no longer a professional server at the infamous Sur restaurant. She caused quite a stir by telling her manager to: "F*ck off" and to "Go suck a d*ck". Classy. Yet, this delusional psychopath believes she still has a future on the show because she "put my whole life out there for three years." Yep. You did. Your life; your insanity; and your dirty cookie jar-- for all of us to see. Now, you can move on to your pre-destined career: animal porn.
"I'm pullin' it outta my ass, okay?" #2 JUSTIN BIEBER
OFFENSE: Liar, liar?
Taking a page out of his Hello Kitty journal, Beebs has made a video apologizing for being an insufferable ass pimple for the past year-and-a-half. He claimed he was pretending to be someone he's not. Uh-huh. (How 'bout claiming to be male for starts?) He said he had been acting-out to cover up how he felt inside. (Chocolate and Midol-- STAT!) His goal: to make the best impression on people and to prove he's "gentle and soft." (AKA: "scissoring" with Selena.) I'm taking this whole mea culpa with a bag of salt. Words are one thing; actions are another. I'm sniffin' this is a complete PR move to get your career out of the outhouse. While you're finding your soul, could you find your fun marbles, too?
OFFENSE: Liar, liar?
Taking a page out of his Hello Kitty journal, Beebs has made a video apologizing for being an insufferable ass pimple for the past year-and-a-half. He claimed he was pretending to be someone he's not. Uh-huh. (How 'bout claiming to be male for starts?) He said he had been acting-out to cover up how he felt inside. (Chocolate and Midol-- STAT!) His goal: to make the best impression on people and to prove he's "gentle and soft." (AKA: "scissoring" with Selena.) I'm taking this whole mea culpa with a bag of salt. Words are one thing; actions are another. I'm sniffin' this is a complete PR move to get your career out of the outhouse. While you're finding your soul, could you find your fun marbles, too?
"Imma eat ur souuuuuuul!" #1 RANDY QUAID
OFFENSE: Beyond batsh&t crazy
I'll keep this brief. He's shown his cray-cray colors in the past, but this latest shade is wack-a-doodle-tastic. To summarize: In a video with his equally nutty wife, Randy slammed Rupert Murdoch, Warner Bros., The New York Post, and then simulated sex with his aforementioned wife while she wore a Murdoch mask. I really think we should have you arrested for fraud, because you're no actor. You were born crazy, therefore, you never had to act 'crazy'. Dirty faker!
P.S. CLICK HERE for Randy's rant.
OFFENSE: Beyond batsh&t crazy
I'll keep this brief. He's shown his cray-cray colors in the past, but this latest shade is wack-a-doodle-tastic. To summarize: In a video with his equally nutty wife, Randy slammed Rupert Murdoch, Warner Bros., The New York Post, and then simulated sex with his aforementioned wife while she wore a Murdoch mask. I really think we should have you arrested for fraud, because you're no actor. You were born crazy, therefore, you never had to act 'crazy'. Dirty faker!
P.S. CLICK HERE for Randy's rant.
PHOTO CREDIT:
Kristen Doute http://irealhousewives1.rssing.com/chan-11273215/latest.php
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Randy Quaid https://www.flickr.com/photos/jjeffreys/
Kristen Doute http://irealhousewives1.rssing.com/chan-11273215/latest.php
Justin Bieber https://www.flickr.com/photos/joebielawa/
Randy Quaid https://www.flickr.com/photos/jjeffreys/
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