"Anyways, y'all, I need a little break. I'll be right back, I gotta take this wedgie out my ass."
And then she skipped off stage to address what was betwixt her cheeks. I wonder if the jaws of life were needed to help her out? Or does she have a personal ass-istant to address such matters?
Great way to capitalize on this, though. An endorsement with Charmin bathroom tissue.
"Your hiney's so Charmin shiny..."
The gajillionaire is getting divorced from his wife of 25-years. Guess he wanted some south-of-the-border lovin' from TV host Lauren "Dirty?" Sanchez. Great choice. For so many reasons. Especially the one where this chick likes to high-profile date. Who better to bang than the dude who created Amazon? The pair's coupling is the main reason for Bezos' divorce. Kudos for keeping it on the DL for eight months. Not.
The two had been jetting off to exotic destinations, sending sext messages (vurp-- he's no looker), and hooking up in private estates. But this takes the prize-- a rendezvous at the same Boston hotel Jeff's family stayed at when in town for Parents Day at his son's college.
You know Amazon's slogan: "Work hard, have fun, make history." Congrats, Skeezos, for being just another typical douche who takes-the-wood to his buddy's wife. Tacky. Classless. Maybe a porch pirate needs to snatch you off this planet.
At the Golden Globe Awards, Christian won for his portrayal of Dick Cheney in the film "Vice." Congrats.
During his acceptance speech is when he decided to thank Satan. If actors can insincerely thank God, why not Satan?
Well... I wouldn't want to invoke an evil entity. But that's just me. Perhaps he's already sold his soul to said entity, which would explain why he's even famous.
Is it coincidental that a man named Christian would praise the polar opposite, Satan? Perhaps you're more like Satan than Christ. There was that little incident a few years back where you were accused of assaulting your mother and sister. No Christ-like brotherly love there. Is this just a life-long need to retaliate against your birth name. If you were named Twatski, would you then be living today as a better human being?
Way to go, American A&&hole!