Was that drool? Too much lipstick on a dipstick? Or did he fellate Krispy Kreme?
I'm sure y'all can afford to get some intern to check your face before your appearance on national TV.
Or did you drive her into the Potomac?
Case in point: Super Bowl Sunday. He was so excited that the Eagles won, he had to rush the stage to get to the trophy. For realz. Oh, and he dropped an F-bomb while "chatting" with the dudes from the NFL Network.
Why give a drunk guy a mic? Duh.
At least he took his gaffes and turned it into a teachable(?) moment via social media:
"To all the kids out there, I just want to say don't drink. When alcohol is in your system, you do dumb stuff."
Here's some advice: Keep your love snake in your pants. And when your wife tells you it's a bad idea to run up on stage drunken and foolishly... listen.
At least Tom's wife, Giselle, did the right thing. She posted on social media:
"Congratulations Eagles for winning the Super bowl, what a game that was!"
She also consoled her kids by reminding them that this was the first Super Bowl win for the Eagles.
As Beyonce would say: "Who runs the world? Girls."
Change your name to Tomasina and maybe you'll have more balls.